Browsing Tag

LOVE

(Self) Examination Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

A post to say I love you, and thank you

March 26, 2014

My ability to cope with stress is amazing.

Amazingly non-existent, that is.

I hyperventilate on a daily basis and I think my blood pressure shoots up by a few notches whenever I do that. I yell and fluster whenever I feel that I have lost control. I have an incessant need to be in control all the time.

Which is why I think it’s a pretty tough thing being my kid. It’s really not easy living with Mama who’s pretty much all flailing arms and high-screechy-pitched mad on any given day.

And I think my kids are doing an amazing job loving and accepting me as mom despite some of the terrible things I subject them too, like SO MUCH hollering, threatening and explosive outbursts. They love me with no questions, no judgement and no conditions. Every day – whether a good one or bad – they still want me and would unconditionally forgive me and love me for who I am.

I’m a blessed mother because of these children in my life, I tell you. I am grateful to be experiencing kindness and goodness in its purest from these people every day.

Motherkao's most precious

Becks Kao Going Out! Happy days Invites & Tryouts Milestones and growing up

A post (finally!) on girls and dolls [Part 2]

March 12, 2014

So I gave in and bought my daughter her first Barbie doll, and this is the post to explain why.

Last week we were invited by Mattel to celebrate 55 years of imaginative play with Barbie®, the world’s most popular fashion doll.

When I got the invite, I did the to-go-or-not-to-go in my head for a long time. Going would mean that Becks, at three-half, would enter into the dream world of fashion and style; afterall, Barbie’s the original fashion icon that’s played muse to designers all over the world and inspired fashionistas worldwide.

In other words, tis’ the start down the road of vanity.

But not going would mean that the Barbie fan in this Mama would miss out on the celebration. I go a long way back with Miss Barbara since the age of 5, having spent much of my childhood pretend playing with her, her on-off boyfriend and her friends at the beach, by the poolside and at her pretty home. Back then my aunt would buy me dolls whenever she returned from the States, and my godfather would buy me houses, accessories and various scenario sets. Those were fun times I’ve had with myself, my sister, and our imaginary friends.

In other words,  I was the one itching to go lah.

And so we went. On a mother-daughter date on a Saturday morning to United Square, to join other girls and their moms in the “With Barbie®, Anything is Possible” Roadshow.

All dressed in pink!

All dressed in pink!

Even the drink was pink

Even the drink was pink

We participated in 3 out of the 4 activities lined up for us at the celebration. First, Becks went to the Barbie Style Icon Photobooth and played dress up:

At the Photobooth

At the Photobooth

Then, we designed our very own Barbie dress with fabric markers, glitter stickers and stencils. This was our favourite activity!

Becks designing a dress

Becks designing a dress

We also tried the Style Icon Dream Closet Augmented Reality Experience where Becks got to play “digital dress up”. She wanted to be a princess – oh who wouldn’t – but somehow became a vet instead.

A veterinarian's a good career choice, my dear. Better than princess, anytime!

A veterinarian’s a good career choice, my dear. Better than princess, any time!

The activity which we skipped was the catwalk and runway experience. I’m keeping that away from her for as long as I can. No, make that forever.

I did wish that the celebration (which was of course, in an overdose of pink) would engage girls in more pretend play than dressing up. Like having a few scenario sets out (bring out the vet clinic, the Malibu Dreamhouse, the fashion wardrobe with all the clothes and shoes to change, and the Glam Pool Set, I say!) in a little play corner for the girls, like how there would always be a corner with plenty of blocks and bricks at any Lego Roadshow. Already the poor doll’s been parodied and criticised enough for her unrealistic idea of a body image and her lifestyle choices – so shouldn’t we play down on the dressing up and vanity bit and emphasise more on a doll’s role in inspiring creativity through pretend play through scenarios and adventures?

Which brings me to the reason why I bought my daughter her first ever Barbie doll. We chose a mermaid together, and I wanted her to enter the world of imaginative play with it since she’s already into the princess-happily-ever-after phase anyway. I’m happy to be paying $27.90 for something which can be part of her mythical pretend play of all the whatever that’s Under the Sea – mermaids, mermen and what-nots.

I also told her that she’s got to hold on to this doll for a long, long time and that some day, she should show her little girl how her love for dolls began, beginning with this Barbie mermaid from her Mama.

Barbie_Becks first Mermaid

Her first Barbie doll from Mama!

***

Join Barbie® as she celebrates 55 years of imaginative play at United Square with Toys ‘R’ Us from 6 – 23 March 2014 from 11am to 9pm daily! To participate, obtain 1 stamp from every SGD$30 spent at Toys ‘R’ Us for an opportunity to take part in 1 of 4 activities.

Barbie_Roadshow 3

Barbie_Roadshow 4

Disclosure: We were invited to the celebration and received a gift bag with a Barbie doll in it. No monetary compensation was received and opinions here are all mine.

Becks Kao Ben Kao Happy days Milestones and growing up Nat Kao The Kao Kids

A post (finally!) on girls and dolls [Part 1]

March 12, 2014

I have kept my little girl away from Barbie dolls for as long as I could.

Trust me, I’ve made her play with gender-neutral toys for as long as possible and even wanted her to rough it out with her brothers when they wrestled and do neanderthal-like things like grunting and crashing into random things.

I made all three kids play with toy cars, balls, Lego Quadro, Lego Duplo, kitchen masak-masak and trike-rides, and I’ve wanted it to be this way for at least the first three years of their lives. I attempted my best not to introduce any gender specific toys, unless they asked for it and only if they asked for it after they turn three.

Playing with blocks together

So Becks did get a doll when she turned two because she wanted a “baby”  and she was at that stage of wanting to comb everyone’s hair. And since I was still struggling with post-partum hair loss and constantly annoyed with the yanking and pulling and tugging of those very few precious strands left I decided to get her a Disney Mulan for her second birthday. She liked it for a total of 24 hours before she decided that her Puku bolster was a better choice for a “baby”. She’s been “mothering” those little bolsters ever since (I so need to write a post about those bolsters!), and Mulan has since been banished to a shelf known as Forgotten.

Becks' first doll ever, who has now been forgotten, disfigured and banished

Becks’ first doll ever, who has now been forgotten, disfigured and banished

And that was that.

Until recently – and it was only just this year – she started going all feminine on me and began to develop a liking for all things pink (again!) and purple and all those Disney princessy stuff and happily-ever-after stories. I was hoping the tomboy phase would stay for a while more but alas. She was also dragging me to look at hairbands and clips, dolls and fairies and all things that spelled G-I-R-L whenever we headed out. Every time she squealed, my eyes would roll.

Vanity is not something I wish to be handling now, really.

It was also only recently that she asked me for a Barbie.

Well, I’m not sure if it’s because I introduced her to her (Miss Barbara, that is) earlier last year because I did share with the kids that I loved dolls as a girl (and I only started at 5) and then grew up appreciating dolls so much that I started collecting Designer and Collector’s Editions of Barbie Dolls.

Barbie Collection 1

Ladies and Gentlemen… Presenting my precious Barbie Collection

Barbie Collection More

And more: My favourite and most expensive is the Duchess of Diamonds (my birthstone!), and it’s from a guy who wooed and won my heart (who also bought me a few more to add to my collection)

I also showed them my collection and promised them that they would get one on their respective wedding days and that Becks would inherit my collection some day.

Barbie Collection_Kids and their choices

The Kao kids “choped” their choices for themselves / their wives for their wedding day

I suspect that my little girl couldn’t wait till her wedding day, and has decided that it’s more fun to be pestering Mama for one to admire now.

Anyway, I caved in and bought her her first ever Barbie last Saturday.

Barbie_ Becks first

The reason is here in the next post, Part 2.

(Self) Examination Becks Kao Ben Kao Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up Nat Kao Parenting 101 The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

Parenting at 5, 3-half and 2 (Part I)

March 6, 2014

Last month, my sons turned a year older and I’m officially doing this mothering gig with my three kids who are 5, 3.5 and 2.

This means that change is here again.

The 5-year-old is clearly growing up fast and probably has a vocabulary of close to two thousand words. He’s playful still but not as cheekily innocent as he was a few years ago. He’s now got an emo streak and pensive moods, and have been showing signs of being easily hurt and offended. He’s learned the art of argumentation, and has also picked up the skill of being acidulous and sarcastic (why, why, I’m sure he also learned from the best). He has the ability to give you a million and one reasons (and then some more if you allow him to) why he can or cannot do something, something as simple as why he can’t come immediately to brush his teeth or empty his bladder, and would do almost anything from pouting to demonstrating aggression to win an argument. He can fire questions at you fast and furious and has about more than a gazillion ‘whys’ in his head every single day.

Not a day passes without him asking at least 50 questions, giving you a ton of useless reasons as excuses why something happened which is not his fault, and a show of emo-ing, complete with tears and sulking at corners of the house. He learns things fast but is also very selective in what he wants to learn. He’ll cite poor memory as his excuse for not remembering how to spell words you teach him but he can remember every single character in all his favourite TV programmes. He’s an energiser bunny who’s waiting every day to muck around, asking, “What can I do? What can we do?” and looking for someone to play with him.

Ben at 5

On good days, he goes a little wild and says the darndest but most intelligent things that can make you laugh so hard and wonder if you’re with a 5-year-old or 15. He can also have very intense conversations with you, and we have had days of talking about God, heaven, life and the meaning of it all.

On good days, he’s also a wonderful big brother to his siblings and acts with a mature sense of sensibility.

***

The little girl is a July baby so she only turns 4 in 4 months. Although the terrible Terrible Twos which we’ve experienced with her is finally, finally over, we do get the tantrums once in a while especially whenever she’s tired or in discomfort, though the tantrums have evolved to be more muted and controlled. I’m happy to say that Becks is now able to exercise a lot more self control at this age.

Phew.

She’s also at a phase of being really eager to differentiate herself from her siblings. I’m not sure if it comes with being the middle child but she’s demonstrating to us clearly every day that she wants to be different, and to be seen as different. In the past, she would join the games and rough play, and play with much abandonment with them. Lately, she wants to read about the Disney princesses and play with dolls. She’s been asking if I could buy her a Barbie or a princess doll. She would drag her brothers to pretend cook and grocery shop with her, and if they didn’t want to (and preferred to be doing neanderthal-like things like uzzah-ing the house down) then she would go to a corner and be perfectly fine talking to and cooking for her soft toys and her bolsters.

Becks at 3 half

Her ambition for now is to be a mummy. A good mummy, she says. I wonder where she got that inspiration.

***

I’ll be lying to say I don’t have a favourite. When you have more than one kid, you’re bound to have someone who is the apple of your eye.

That said, I don’t play favourites. I don’t pit one sibling against another and bring on the rivalry with any favouritism games. I love them all with all my heart and all that I can in my capacity as their mother and a human being.

So this boy.

Nat at 2

He turned two last month and is starting to talk in sentences it’s just way too cute, cute, cute. The things he says and words he strings together – aww, soooo cute, I tell you – just melts my heart and makes me laugh so heartily everyday. Not a day passes by without bouts of laughing out loud and sides-splitting gaggles filling the house. With Nat, we’ve heard much laughter, and had much laughter.

So while I’m sometimes tearing my hair out at trying to communicate with my firstborn and feeling the frustration of handling the temperamental middle child, the baby – and resident clown – in the house gives me much respite from the parenting weariness of the day. I’m just glad to have only suffered hardship from the Terrible Twos one out of three. I was anticipating and bracing myself for tough times with the littlest who has a mule-like temperament, and while the littlest has his “moments”, it’s been so easy to handle his moments with distractions and lots of hugs and kisses.

I’m really going to miss this stage. And because Nat is Nat, I’m so glad we didn’t decide to stop at two. We can do with more funniness, adorableness, and happiness in this house, methinks.

***

Hello everyone. I’m Motherkao. I have three kids age 5, 3-half and 2 and a new season of parenting is here again. I am bracing myself for the challenges ahead. There’s potty training, meal times routines, sleep training and weaning (yes, 24 months and still going on – ugh!) to settle, ABCs and 123s to teach, words and books to read, songs to sing, stories to tell, games to play and lots of clowning around to do. There’s also fun to be had, skills to teach, values to impart and lives to shape.

In other words, there’s a whole lot of mothering to do.

The Kao Kids Mar2014
Ben Kao Getting all sentimental now The Kao Kids

Five

February 26, 2014

Five.

I never thought five would be a big number but today, this number is looking BIG to me.

You are 5 today, Ben. That’s having you in my life for half a decade and I am still trying to make sense of it.

In the busyness of motherhood, I hardly stop to take a good look at you. You’ve grown so much taller, so much stronger and so much more sensible. That little boy that used to open and close cabinet doors for fun, squeal and cackle at every raspberry I blow and fall asleep holding his blanket tight as his mama sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is a big boy now.

So big he can no longer be carried by his own mother. So big that he can now run ahead so quickly leaving her panting behind. So big that he no longer needs Mama to button his shirt, wear his socks and clean him up.

So big we can have intense discussions about school, friends, God and life together now.

You’re all grown up, my love.

Fire Chief Ben at ONE

Fire Chief Ben at ONE

Ben at TWO

Ben at TWO

Ben at THREE

Ben at THREE

Ben at FOUR

Ben at FOUR

Happy 5th birthday, Son.

Ben's birthday

At FIVE

Loving you to infinity and beyond,

Mama

Becks Kao Ben Kao Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics The Kao Kids

Sound bytes of our lives: the darndest things we say (III)

February 25, 2014

Someone’s being bullied these days and suffering from the tyranny of the majority.

On the way to school on Monday

Ben: Ugh. It’s Monday. Can we not go to school?

Me: You think?

Becks: Yes?

Me: In your wildest dreams.

Ben and Becks: Huh?

Ben: You mean I can dream? If you let me dream, I dream of you not letting us go to school.

Becks: And you will do ALL our homework!

Me: -_-

The mess is too great to bear

Me: Every day this mess at home is getting worse.

Ben: Why? We are playing what.

Me: But you guys don’t ever keep.

Ben: Ohhkaay… we…will..keep… (moving around slowly to pack) Becky, come help!

Becks: Ohh…kaaay… (moving about slowly) Hey look, korkor… (pointing at me who’s packing at double speed) A SERVANT!

Ben and Becks: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

An everyday sight

An everyday sight

No Money

Becks: Can I please buy donuts? Or fruit juice?

Me: No.

Ben: Can I buy more Transformers?

Me: No.

Ben: Why every time we ask you, you say no?

Becks: Ya lor… (on the verge of tearing)

Me: I have no money. Remember I don’t work? I don’t have money to buy frivolous things.

Ben: I have an idea. Go ask from Dada. Tell him “I need your money to buy toys and yummy food”.

Becks: I have an idea. GO AND WORK! We let you go.

Me: -_-

Since when do you kids order me around?

The two "big" bullies

The two “big” bullies

Getting all sentimental now Happy days Milestones and growing up Nat Kao The Kao Kids

Letter to my littlest #9

February 20, 2014

Dearest Nat,

Has it been two years since you filled our lives with so much laughter? Where did all the time go? When did my baby start growing up? Slow down, will you, baby boy? This growing up business is getting too fast for this mama’s heart to handle.

Nat_Day 7

Nat_Month 5

I still remember the little bundle I carried home a while ago and the squeals in the house everyone made in adoration of you. You stole the hearts of your big brother and sister the moment you came home and you have won their hearts ever since. We’re now a family of five and Ben and Becks cannot go through a day without being with you. The three of you play together every day and I pray that you will all play together as happy children for a long, long time.

Nat_Playing with Ben and Becks

Nat_Playing with Becks

You’re adorably funny and exasperatingly endearing. These days I call your name and you reply me with a “What?”. When I tell you to do something you ask me “Why?”. And when I ask you why this or that happens, you answer me with “Because”. You sing the Alphabet song every day and amuse us all by standing on the table to do it like it’s some rock performance. You chortle and chuckle many times a day even after you’ve been disciplined, and live each day clowning around with your funny antics. Every day is a riot with you and even though you get yelled at a lot for the naughty things you do, my greatest wish for you is that you’ll never change the way you are.

Nat_Month 12

Nat_Year 1

Be the happy, cheeky, sticky you, Nat. Always. Happy 2nd birthday!

Nat is 2

Nat at 2

Loving you to the moon and back, and to infinity and beyond,

Mama

Becks Kao Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

All pretty now

February 18, 2014

So I spoke too soon.

My sassy little girl, who is now three-half, has gone all girly-feminine on me.

Just like that, she’s suddenly taking a liking to pink things again and all things princessy.

She now insists on wearing a dress whenever we go out, when previously I got so much hell for wanting to put a dress on her…

A sporty dress for Sunday School!

A sporty dress for Sunday School!

A floral dress handed down from an older sister-friend

A floral dress handed down from an older sister-friend

I would have never been able to put this cheongsam on a couple of months ago

I would have never been able to put this cheongsam on a couple of months ago

She also MUST wear a dress to sleep now and dislikes the long-sleeve-top-and-pants ensemble which she used to love. She used to want to be like korkor and didi but well, not anymore.

She needs to wear a sweet PJ to sleep...

She needs to wear a sweet PJ to sleep…

She’s starting to like accessorising and making very tacky fashion choices like putting on everything at one go – hat, wristlet, necklace, bag and all the hair clips she’s got.

She loves to have her hair all clipped and tied now

She loves to have her hair all clipped and tied now

Gotta teach her less is more and classy is the way to go. Heh.

My mother already warned me there’ll be days like this; days of her putting on my shoes and wearing my makeup. I guess I’d better keep my blushers and lipsticks under lock and key for now.

"Look Ma! I can wear your heels!"

“Look Ma! I can wear your heels!”

I guess it’s a rite of passage for all girls to go through a phase of wishing to be like their mothers. These days, Becks is starting to want to be different from her brothers and is consciously trying to differentiate herself with the choices that she makes and the things that she do. I know deep down, she wants to get attention from me this way and wants to be affirmed by her mother as her mummy’s little precious princess.

Deep down, the little girl is crying out to me, saying, “Look at me, Mama. I may not be as smart like Korkor or as cute as Nat, but I am also special!”

And I’d be a fool of a mother if I didn’t know that and love her just as she is.

Becky love, you’re beautiful. You’ll always be our little darling princess.

Little Miss Becks_pretty in PE

Family life as we know it Homelearning fun Milestones and growing up

Letters, I wrote

February 1, 2014

Ben turns 5 this month and I am wrecking my brains to find ways to get him to read. He loves to be read to, and still wants to imagine stories with picture books, most of time ignoring the words on the pages. When I plonk him next to his Scholastic readers, he’ll read them – yes, he would – but I highly suspect he does them from memory because when he’s asked how to read each word without the readers, he gives me a clueless look.

So I have started doing this:

Letter to Ben

Writing him letters and putting them in the mail.

He gets very excited to receive something from the mail box that’s addressed to him, and tries his best to make sense of every word in the letter to decode the message.

He’s gotten two letters so far, and he’s looking forward to more, I know. Let’s hope this trick would get him interested!

Going Out! Happy days Milestones and growing up Motherkao loves...

A-galloping we go!

January 31, 2014

Well, hello Stallion!

It’s Chinese New Year and the year of the horse is here. Oooh, happy feelings all stirruped, cos’ it’s my favouritest animal in the whole wide world, and we all can’t wait to gallop into the new year to feast and fellowship with family and friends!

Happy New Year from the Kao Kids

Have a blessed time, everyone! Giddy up, keep a stable diet and let’s grab life by the reins this year!

P/S: I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who left me messages and sent hugs and encouraging words my way after I shared how challenging it has been these days to stay home with the Kao kids. I believe ever more now in angels, because of people like you.

PP/S: So couldn’t resist those horse puns!