LOVE Archives - Page 3 of 12

Happy days Milestones and growing up Nat Kao The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

No party, but let’s party!

February 16, 2015

My littlest turns 3 on the 2nd day of Chinese New Year and in the midst of this apocalyptic craziness that happens once a year – cleaning, packing, stocking up, stashing food – I have almost forgotten all about it.

The older two both had a party thrown for them when they turned 3. I’m not an indulgent mom that throws a party for my kids every year, but I did tell myself that the kids should at least have a party at 1 (to thank well-meaning friends and relatives, and to celebrate making it through a year), at 3 (well, at least the kid is now aware of what’s happening and can really get excited about candle-blowing and the notion of having a party), at 6 (before P1!) and one at 12 (before the kid journeys into adolescence).

Or so I thought I would, but Nat turns 3 in 4 days’ time and Ben turns 6 next week, and I haven’t made any plans to throw them any parties.

These days running a business means working Mondays to Sundays, and every night from 10 pm to 1 am. The time I spend with my kids talking (and many times lecturing) is when we are in the car going to school and travelling home, and when we see each other again at dinner and tuck-in. What little energy that is left is spent reading bedtime stories and micro-managing all the small stuff in their lives – Consent forms for field trips! Parents’ newsletter from kindy! Mama, I need to start collecting toilet rolls for craft! Mama, my hair’s all tangled, can you tie for me? Mama, can we do colouring tomorrow? Mama, buy strawberry milk we don’t like chocolate milk anymore, eww! – that the last thing I want to do is to think about party venue, decor, food and guest lists.

I’m feeling a little sorry for my youngest because he is the apple of my eye and the baby love to his siblings and he’s not getting a party. Three years ago, this darling was born after I had two suppositories inserted to induce my labour at 37 weeks. His arrival meant that our family is finally complete – since Fatherkao and I had always wanted to have three kids. We’ve had much more laughter ever since he came into our lives and rocked our world, and the trio of Kao kids has clocked hundreds of happy hours playing and having a blast together every day since he started joining them in all the fun.

Nat’s born with this ability of endearing himself to anyone. Those huge eyes and that innate manja-ness are the reasons why anyone would love – and give in to – him. I find my resolve always melting into nothingness when it comes to him, and I’m a little embarrassed to admit that with him all those principles I followed regarding discipline and training are thrown out of the window most of the time. Thankfully, the other half is more balanced and objective and doesn’t get swayed by those charming goldfish eyes.

This baby of mine turns three in four days.

How fast he has grown.

How much he has grown.

And even though we’re not having a party, we would definitely be spending the day having HIS idea of fun.

Which is to be together – korkor, jiejie, Mama, Dada and him – the whole day long.

Happy 3rd birthday, my Glutinous Rice Ball. You’ll always have my elbow to pinch so you can fall asleep, my tummy to blow raspberries into for a hearty laugh, and my legs to cling on to when you’re afraid.

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(Self) Examination Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids The real supermom

Memory Lane

February 12, 2015

Recently, a reporter from the papers rang me up to ask if she could do a story about what motherhood is like, having three kids so close in age. She then asked me some routine questions so she could find the interest angle in my story. I don’t know if what I shared would end up as a feature in the papers, but talking to her sure brought back a flood of memories.

Memories – though somewhat a little hazy now – of how I discovered I was pregnant after Ben was barely nine months, and having to deal with a very horrible, terrible, no good first trimester of wretching, wretching and more wretching, always feeling so sorry that I couldn’t last longer breastfeeding Ben (and to think I even wanted to try tandem feeding!) …

Memories of how tough being pregnant in the last trimester was, with a toddling toddler in tow, and being every bit the hands-on mom that I am, doing everything for him (and refusing to let the domestic helper do what a mother should do) …

Memories of how Becks was such a difficult baby refusing to latch, Ben graduating from infantcare to toddler class at daycare, and me breaking down like a wreck seeing how hard he cried at our separation every morning after his sister was born …

And memories of how the road to having an infant and a toddler was made even tougher when my husband broke his leg and was out of commission for the following half of the year…

And then discovering that I was pregnant again when Becks was transiting to solids well and learning to toddle like a pro…

To realise that the moment Nat was born it was almost an automatic given that Becks would enter her Terrible Twos, albeit half a year earlier …

And then I suddenly had in my hands – gosh, not enough hands! – two toddlers and one infant …

And that when they were in childcare and infantcare, and falling sick quite often with germs having a heyday in the house, I had used up all my leave, my savings, and my energy …

Those years were insane years.

And then I was asked the question: if I could do it all over again, would I at least try to space them further apart? Or maybe… stop at two…?

And a deluge of sentimentality hit me so hard it took me quite a while to recover. While I sounded composed and did all my polite laughs, I was choking on the inside.

Those years were hard. Those years were crazy. What was I thinking?

But these faces.

These children today, at 6, 5 and 3, and the bond that they share being each other’s best friends, is the reason I say makes everything worthwhile.

I would do three kids, 18 months apart, in a heartbeat. My world has never known otherwise, and yet my world has been made complete with the three children I have today.

It has been one hell of a mad, mad ride, but it’s totally worth it.

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Becks Kao Happy days Milestones and growing up Re: learning and child training

This little girl of mine (and it’s got to do with nail polish again)

February 6, 2015

So you’ve read that I finally relented and relaxed my standards when it comes to nail polish for my little girl.

Last month, I did the unthinkable.

During one of our mother-and-daughter dates out, I brought Becks to a place that would satisfy her curiosity and gratify her desires.

I didn’t want to do the usual let’s go eat and walk around gig with her for our “Special Time”. I thought this would be a good opportunity to show her that Mama doesn’t go for a pedicure (or manicure) to ONLY put colour on her nails. I wanted her to see that sometimes, we pay the professionals to do some grooming for us, like scrubbing the calluses off our soles, trimming in-growns and scrubbing our elbows.

And so I let her experience that for herself.

The ladies there were shocked, of course. I don’t think any mom has ever brought a little girl this young to to do a full two-hour spa pedicure and manicure. They said moms bring their girls to get nail polish, and that’s it. Becks got a lot of attention that evening, since the place was located right smacked in a mall where human traffic was ongoing. People pointed, people squealed, and I am sure some moms who uphold moral perfection balked. I know I would, if it was me a month ago.

You didn’t want your daughter to be vain, and now you’re showing her how to be more vain?

No, I didn’t think I was teaching or showing her to embrace vanity more; on the contrary, besides telling her ever so often that beauty comes from a kind heart, I was teaching her on our date that we don’t just colour our nails with markers and highlighters or do nail art with stickers and stamps. We groom ourselves, and we do it right by taking care of every part with respect.

That night, she saw how the jie-jies cleaned and scrubbed and trim and cut, and even though she did eventually get nail polish on (which I removed the next day in time for school), she learned a precious lesson.

“Mama, we clean ourselves properly. Cannot anyhow draw on our nails.”

That’s one sensible girl, and one happy Mama.

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Ben Kao Everyday fun! Milestones and growing up

Six is the age of…

January 28, 2015

… Scowling at injustice with a big, big sense of right and wrong

Here he is, very upset that he is the only boy in his group. He says his teacher did the WRONG thing.

Here Ben is very upset that he is the only boy in his group. He says his teacher did the WRONG thing.

… Sulking every day on the way to school complaining to Mom about girls and telling her how much you hate them

“I don’t want to go to school, Mama. I hate girls.”

… Singing your lungs out in the shower and doing the boogie woogie while at it

The noisiest part of his day, and mine

…And staging a water battle for German and American soldiers while you’re at it

Drowned comrades

… Needing to look cool all the time

So the sunglasses need to match the outfit…

…Wanting – not a pet dog, a pet kitten, but a pet JAGUAR

Security blanket every night

… Making a mess with your Lego and turning a deaf ear to Mom’s nagging about bricks hurting her feet (like, who cares?)

It’s painful? Really? If you stepped on a brick?

… Being extremely creative, with tons of mischief up your sleeve

Making Running Man nametags and making himself a spy

…Wanting many moments of being all alone to create something massive

“Leave me alone to make my Lego,” so says someone

… Leading the pack

“Shall we play MAGIC TRAIN, guys?”

… Having no fear

This is just a vampire. What’s so scary?

… Having intense conversations with friends, and wanting to be with older boys

Playing BrainBox with Gabriel, his bff for now

…. Monkeying with Mom and loving every minute of it

Ba ba ba… ba ba NA NA!

6 years ago, this boy entered my world. A leaking water bag and almost 14 laborious hours later, I met the gentlest, sweetest, baby who came to rock my world.

And rock my world he did. Every. Single. Day.

I love you, Son. Every. Single. Day.

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Christmas happiness Going Out! Happy days Holidays! Invites & Tryouts Reviews The Kao Kids

Awesomeness at LEGOLAND – Part 1, the Hotel

December 27, 2014

LEGOLAND Hotel Welcome

If Disneyland is the place where magic happens, then LEGOLAND is the place of awesomeness.

I must be one of the last few people from the island of Singapore to go to LEGOLAND at Iskandar Malaysia. Almost everyone I know can boast of a ‘been there, done that‘.

I’ve been biding my time, waiting for Nat to finally hit a height of at least 90 cm so he can be allowed to take some rides at the theme park and the time has finally come.

So to LEGOLAND we go! How can we not be found in a place of endless awesomeness of Lego, Lego and more Lego this holidays when I have ardent Lego fans in the house?

We checked out the LEGOLAND Malaysia Resort’s hotel, theme park and water park earlier this December, and here are the highlights (as well as the not-so-high ones, as you will read) of our short getaway by car, with three children aged 5, 4 and 2 in tow.

Presenting, Motherkao’s very own review on LEGOLAND Hotel, using the acrostics (what else?) L-E-G-O-L-A-N-D…

*drumroll, please*

Leaving Singapore for the LEGOLAND Malaysia Resort

The LEGOLAND Malaysia Resort is definitely nearer than we thought it was. It was a relatively smooth ten-minute drive the moment we set off after custom clearance at Tuas Second Link. It was easy to drive there (Tuas Checkpoint SGD3.20 using the cashcard and only one toll to pass in Malaysia at RM15, so prep your Touch ‘n’ Go card), and much more direct than we had expected. Basically, just drive till you see Nusajaya Exit 312 and follow the huge brown ‘LEGOLAND’ signs that point you to the direction of LEGOLAND.

It was that easy – drive straight all the way, exit at 312 Nusajaya, look for the brown. Totally idiot-proof.

Map from LEGOLAND Malaysia Resort Website. More directions here.

We were going to be checking in to the hotel, so we parked at the hotel carpark. It’s free-of-charge for guests and RM30 if you’re not an inhouse guest. Parking is sheltered and the carpark has ample spaces for parking (two basements), with many cars parked backside in (so I assumed it’s pretty safe, considering we were advised to park head in in Malaysia).

Exchange and Fair Trade

The Wall of Minifigs at the LEGOLAND Hotel Malaysia

Prior to making this trip, I learned about the practise of swapping LEGO minifigures (also affectionately known as minifigs, in Lego-speak) from Wacky Duo’s post. Apparently, it’s a tradition which began in LEGOLAND Florida in which a complete minifig can be exchanged or traded with any staff in the resort who has a nametag that reads’ TRADE WITH ME’ as frequent and as often as possible.

If you’ve read Wacky Duo’s experience trying to do the minifig exchange (that was in October this year), you’d have learned that it wasn’t as pleasant as they had hoped it would be. Nonetheless, I placed my confidence, albeit a little too early, on this piece of press release by LEGOLAND and told Ben (the biggest Lego fan in the house and the owner of I-don’t-know-how-many minifigs) to prepare some for making exchanges. You know how those Lego blind packs work, right? How you can end up with the same figure five times after opening five packs.

So yea, I told him to fix up all his extras, pack them in his luggage and do his swaps should he find someone he wants to trade with.

At the hotel, we waited and looked around while playing at the lobby for exchanges to take place which we could witness. Nothing. No one did any. No trading was taking place. Curious, I asked the staff at the reception if the practice of swapping minifigs was scrapped. He smiled and said it still very much was ongoing, and asked if we wanted to exchange with him.

And then the LEGO-AWESOMENESS happened. My son, at 5 years of age, mustered his courage to exchange his first minifig, and there was no turning back.

Ben exchanged his minifig for a race car dude

Unlike what Wacky Duo experienced (the staff rejecting exchanges because minfigs were glued to their tags), everyone whom we subsequently asked, spoke with or even leaned close to just to examine their minifigs shared in the excitement of the minifigs trade. A very huge improvement since October 2014.

Ben then went on to exchange his second and third, and even gave his sister the courage to exchange hers.

She likes the funky girl on this lady’s nametag – and mustered courage to ask her to trade

Sure, the lady said, and the exchange happened!

Happy to have completed the trade successfully!

And I had to join in the fun to exchange one, too. I was in LEGOLAND, for crying out loud, and I must do my part to keep this tradition alive, yes?

I liked his disco ball dude, so I exchanged my grunge guitarist; we kept the accessories cos’ the ‘Model Citizens’ (the staff at LEGOLAND Hotel) do not have accessories for their minifigs

Now, that’s some awesomeness there. We were happy owners of new minifigs, completely mixed and matched in randomness, and totally loving them.

Remember to keep the tradition alive and bring some minifigs for swapping the next time you come!

Goosebumped by some unpleasant birds at Bricks Family Restaurant

Bricks Family Restaurant

The Bricks Family Restaurant is the place where buffet breakfast, lunch and dinner are served. The LEGOLAND hotel has 249 rooms in total, so you can imagine what a feat it would be feeding all the hotel guests at breakfast.

Because breakfast time for most normal, functioning human families starts from 9am to 10am, the human traffic swells to an all-time high at this place at this peak hour. A wait of 10 minutes or more is usually expected before you get a table, which was fine by us, since the feeling of hunger can be easily forgotten by the distractions all around the entrance of the Bricks Family Restaurant, namely the soft Lego play pits and Xbox corner.

Clowning around the huge Lego sundae

Stepping on soft Lego blocks

I’m ok with waiting (but not for too long) during my holidays, really. We didn’t really wait very long anyway. 15 minutes thereabouts to me is acceptable.

But I am not ok fending off crows.

The first time we had breakfast there at this restaurant, we were seated outside.

I know crows are nobody’s fault, but it was harrowing to be eating with crows watching us, ready to attack our food the moment we were gone. And since it’s a buffet, how many times would we be gone? And the thing with crows is that they are oblivious to young children. Smaller children are hardly humans they should be fearful of, and I constantly feared for our lives having that meal. I know I’m exaggerating a bit here but you get the drift.

I get goosebumps having a crow or two watch me eat. I am terrified of crows. And my children too.

I don’t have any pictures of crows to show you, but please tell the Bricks Family Restaurant folks you want to sit inside rather than out if you don’t like crows too. This is where we dined when we were watched by hawk-like crows.

On our second day we were assigned indoor seats, thankfully. And that was when I could taste my food a whole lot better, even though I was also constantly worrying for the children who were outside. Anyway, since I could taste my food a little better than the day before, I am so not glad to be saying that the food didn’t taste fantastic. It was mass cooked, for sure; and I wouldn’t blame the folks either because serving up breakfast to so many people everyday during crowded school holidays season sure isn’t an easy thing (the restaurant can seat up to 465 guests). Nonetheless, it was disappointing to not get good food in Malaysia.

Because Malaysia to me has always been about good food.

**Other Hotel Facilities and the Slowly Slowly Movement**

LEGOLAND Hotel itself deserves one full day of your time to explore and to immerse yourself in.

Legoland Hotel entrance, with a fiery dragon to welcome us!

I will state from the onset that their check-in and check-out times will make a fool out of you if you’re a true LEGO fan – who would love any moment of admiring the details in Lego construction and pieces – and if you intend for your stay at the hotel to be only one night and not more.

Check-in is at 4pm and check-out is at 11am. Tell me, how to stay only for one night?

Most people that have done the hotel stay and park visits will tell you that the best way to experience the entire resort is to stay for at least two nights. I’m glad we did. We were very kindly hosted by LEGOLAND for our first night, and offered corporate rates for our second, complete with a complimentary one-day Theme Park and Water Park combo pass for the entire family.

The kiasu mother in me had grand plans to make the best of our stay. The grand plan, like what most people’s itinerary (or so I heard and read), was to hit the road by 8am, reach the hotel to leave our luggage by 9.30am and then start our theme park fun the moment the park opens its doors at 10am. When it gets too hot and we need to cool down from the heat, we’ll adjourn to the Water Park just next to the Theme Park after lunch and spend the later part of the afternoon there. When the Water Park closes at 6pm, we’ll head back to the Theme Park for the Christmas programme and lights since it closes at 8pm.

Sounds perfect? Apparently NOT.

The husband learned of this plan and gave me two very specific instructions on what NOT to do for this getaway: rush everyone around like a mad mother hen; spoil the holiday by yelling at the kids.

And then he said, judging from the flow of my very packed itinerary, I was definitely going to do both. He requested for this holiday to be as relaxing and as fun as possible, and that there be no to-do-list to check.

So out of respect for the man who’s worked so hard the whole year long, we did the “slowly slowly”. Slowly slowly get ready and wake up anytime we wanted, slowly slowly drive to Malaysia (we avoided the AYE traffic by setting off at 10am), slowly slowly leave the luggage in the concierge, and then slowly slowly head to Medini Mall (next to Theme Park) for lunch. After lunch, slowly slowly explore the shops for old school snacks and take kiddy rides for RM1.

Then slowly slowly walk back to the hotel and explore the play pits at the lobby, building, stacking, building, stacking. Slowly slowly walk around to look for minifigs to exchange, and then try our luck for an earlier than 4pm check in, which we got, at 2.30pm.

Steering the pirate ship

Pretending to be imprisoned in the dungeon

Squatting next to a Lego constructed skeleton!

Busy at the playpit

Becks at play

Big Boy at play

Weapon complete!

Super weapon complete!

And then slowly slowly walk to the themed hotel room, admiring the details on walls, carpets, furnishing, decor and elevators along our way. This slowly slowly gig turned out to be extremely relaxing, and FUN!

Slowly slowly exploring the lobby and the intricate details in every Lego piece

Cannot miss the chance to do the elevator dance in all the themed elevators with disco music and disco lights! Awesome!

Cannot miss the chance to do the elevator dance in all the themed elevators with disco music and disco lights! This one can’t be slowly slowly, cos’ the music playing was YMCA! Awesome!

After we thoroughly checked out our hotel room (next point), we headed to the hotel pool for a leisurely swim.

Photo Credit: LEGOLAND Malaysia

The pool occupies a decent, peaceful space comprising an infinity pool (1.2m) overlooking the two parks and a children’s wading pool (0.6m). The kids had a good time slowly slowly splashing water and doing their dipping rounds, and it was all together completely relaxing once again.

It’s nice to be on top of the world! Well, sort of.

Before dinner, we walked around the hotel lobby again and realised that there were many daily activities taking place. There was a Build-a-Lego themed challenge daily, and for the month of December everyday, the best construction of something Christmassy wins a prize. All you needed to do was to use the bricks in the playpits and make something to the theme of Christmas and leave it at the reception counter. At the end of the day, all entries would be judged and a winner chosen.

That night we were there, there was also a ‘Guess the Number of Bricks’ contest in which we were invited to estimate the number of Lego bricks in a jar. Ben won that, that night, and earned himself a certificate and Lego brick keychain.

137 bricks was his guess, and of course, his father helped him estimate a bit

In addition to these things happening, we also slowly slowly checked out other play areas…

Kids spacing out

The lounging corner (where we watched a cartoon of the history of LEGO)…

TV Time!

And were treated to a good time of carolling by the LEGOLAND folks…

Christmas carolling at the lobby

So much to slowly slowly do in one day!

LEGOLAND Hotel Room – We’re in a Kingdom!

Our hotel room. Ah, our hotel room! The highlight of our trip. Such details. Such awesomeness. How impressive!

Guess which theme we chose?

We stayed in a Kingdom Premium Themed Room!

The LEGOLAND Hotel has 249 themed guestrooms, following the three popular Lego lines – Pirate (think skulls and bones), Adventure (think Revenge of the Mummy) and Kingdom (think knights and armours). Each room can sleep up to 5 guests, with a king-size bed for adults, and a separate sleeping area for up to 3 kids, complete with a bunk bed, a pull-out trundle, their very own TV and a box of Duplo bricks for the young ones. The bathroom also comes equipped with a washbasin for children. What awesomeness!

Amused by Lego-inspired soap

But the best part – the best thing for me was the details in the room and that we had a room with a view. Everything was made to fit the theme, from the beds and the carpet to the wallpaper and even the Lego decor in the room!

Check this out, Ladies and Gents. This.
This was the view from Room 323.

Nat Kao and the Frog

The details in the children’s sleeping area

The entrance to the room

A Treasure Hunt and 4 Mystery Numbers

The highlight of our hotel stay, for my eldest son, the hugest Lego fan in the house, was the thrill that there’s a mystery box to unlock in the hotel room.

So we were told that there was a special sheet of paper to search for to get the questions for clues to unlock the mystery treasure chest. Ben jumped to work immediately, and wasted no time locating and counting the items that’s requested of him for his task.

I cheated by calling the reception for the code while he was busy at work so that I knew the code to unlock the chest before he did. Hurhurhur.

Understanding the task first

Solving the mystery of the hidden number and finding the clues

Nonetheless, the boy solved the mystery on his own, and was extremely elated to have found treasure inside the treasure chest!

Unlocking the chest

Treasure!

It was his reward indeed, but one he gladly shared with his siblings because he is such a sweetheart – a Lego Spiderman magnet, a Lego Ninjago keychain and a Lego brick keychain!

Sharing is loving!

Night time at LEGOLAND Hotel – A Beautiful Sight

I don’t know if you’ve done it. But we did. Take a slowly slowly walk in the still of the night and just soaking in the Christmas atmosphere and the idea that we’re in LEGOLAND.

The Theme Park at night

The other entrance

Giant LEGO figs!

The hotel lobby at night

The Castle at night

Awesomeness.

Di Mattoni Restaurant

We were very glad to have found decent Italian fare at this restaurant in LEGOLAND Hotel, and that very much made up for the harrowing breakfast experience with the crows. The food here at Di Mattoni was extremely delightful, and we were really happy dining here. This restaurant deserves a mention especially, because despite being a place for fine dining and all, they catered completely for the kids – word search puzzles, colouring and Lego bricks to keep them occupied, you name it – while we waited for our food. Service was excellent as were the cocktails and dishes.

The entrance of Di Mattoni Restaurant

Glorious Italian fare and deliciousness

***

There you have it, a L-E-G-O-L-A-N-D review of the LEGOLAND Hotel, with more awesomeness than we imagined. So glad we initiated our Slowly Slowly Movement the first day we were there to thoroughly enjoy food, company, and LEGO!

LEGOLAND Hotel, we’ll be back!

***

Coming up: A review of the LEGOLAND Theme Park and Water Park

Disclosure: We were hosted by the good folks at LEGOLAND Malaysia for the purpose of this review for one night at their Kingdom Premium Themed Room, and offered a corporate rate for our second night. No monetary compensation was received for this post, and all opinions here, including being deluged by waves of awesomeness, are our own.

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(Self) Examination Getting all sentimental now Nat Kao Parenting 101 What to Expect... As a Mother

The last feed ever

December 20, 2014

Nat turning three in Feb

Warning: this is a post about boobs and breastfeeding

About a month ago, I stopped nursing Nat. He turns 3 years old in two months, so I guess I breastfed my youngest on demand, water-cooler style, for two years and ten months.

It didn’t happen just like that. I have been struggling to stop. I have been hoping to nurse him for a long while more. Yes, you heard that right. I was the one who couldn’t let go.

After he turned two, I have been repeatedly telling him that he’s now a big boy and he should start drinking from the bottle. He’s been extremely dependent on those boobies (mine, of course) to calm him, soothe him and help him fall asleep. I also have been repeatedly chided by the older folks in my life who would give me the biggest scrunch on their faces when they heard he was still nursing. They would warn me to stop and put images of a six-year-old Nat walking up to me demanding to be nursed in my head and instill the fear in me that if I didn’t try to stop him from latching, I never will.

And so I did. Believe me, I tried staying away and not tucking him in, applying essential oils on his milk source and putting a huge bolster in between us. And every time he cried my heart would shatter into a million pieces.

And every time he said “Mama Milk so spicy, GO AWAY MAMA”, I would burst into tears and feel the wrench in my heart that gave me even greater resolve NOT to stop breastfeeding.

He is my last baby, you know. And the miracle of motherhood is that first feeling of exhilaration of being able to produce milk for the child born of your loins. And continue doing so as often as he wants or as much as you can. I liked that feeling very much, and the thought that he’s the last one makes me want to savour every minute of the exhilaration for as long as possible.

So Nat and I. We constantly did the “Ok, you’re a big boy now so no more Mama Milk” thing and the “Mama missed you so bad, come let me feed you some milk” dance on alternate days for another ten months from the time he turned two, and whilst it was fun, he was going to be turning three.

And the images of a six-year-old Nat walking up to me demanding to be nursed started to frighten me more often than usual, and I thought I’d better have a talk with Nat before he turned three.

So for many nights in November, we started dreaming up his third birthday party and singing songs, and that was how I put him to bed nightly – yes, without the boobs. He would tell me he wants a Ninja Turtle cake one night, and then a triceratops on another, a Diego cake on another, and yak about his favourite things, and then sing himself birthday songs in English and Mandarin.

I guess doing this every night for a while made him realise he was a big boy. He didn’t even noticed he didn’t need to nurse to fall asleep.

And just like that, I didn’t even know when that was, I did my last feed on my last feed.

And just like that, this boy just hugs Mama after his Milo in a bottle, says his prayer and falls asleep.

And just like that, the boobies stopped milk production and there was no more supply.

Last afternoon, feeling a little sentimental, I offered Nat my boobs instead of his bottle.

Me: You want Mama Milk? (he fondly says this when he wants to be nursed)

Nat: Em, nope!

Me: Why? Come la, try!

Nat: Mama has no more milk. Last time I try. No more.

Me: Oh no. Mama has no more milk. Mama’s so sad. Mama has no more baby.

Nat: You lend other people’s baby la, Mama. (He meant borrow people’s baby to drink my milk!)

Me: Other people’s babies drink their own mother’s milk, dear. Where’s my baby?

Nat: No more baby.

Me: Then what are you? You’re Mama’s what?

Nat: I’m a boy.

Yep, my last feed was really my last feed ever. And just like that, this boy is sure he doesn’t want Mama Milk anymore.

Nat, my big boy

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(Self) Examination Becks Kao Love language Milestones and growing up What to Expect... As a Mother

The day she asked for polished nails: a sober lesson in motherhood

December 12, 2014

When I was expecting a girl, I laid a few rules (for her) I was determined not to break.

She is to wear no makeup before she turns 16; she will not be allowed in high heels until her growth is complete; and there must be no nail polish found on her nails – both toes and fingers – at least before 16 years of age.

Why so strict, you ask.

Because there’s a saying in Chinese 早熟早烂.

In English, loosely translated: soon to ripen, soon to rot.

I’ve always believed that the moment a girl takes her first step towards vanity is that moment she begins to grow up.

I don’t want my little girl to grow up so fast, and I wish to bubble wrap her at least till she’s 12. Can I at least do that? She’s my only girl.

I don’t want my little girl to grow up so fast. I think I did – a little too early, in my opinion – and I lost time. Time to explore in complete childhood innocence the fun to be had and the purity in being totally girl-like. I lived every day as a child wanting to grow up and be like my mom, and now with the bi**h of hindsight, I so wished I had totally enjoyed myself running around barefoot, playing rough with my cousins and learning a sport instead of rummaging my mother’s wardrobe to apply lipstick and blush, wearing her clothes and high heels and hoping for a miracle that I would be a woman tomorrow.

I know it’s a journey for every girl, but as a mother, it is my deepest wish to delay that as much as possible.

I don’t do my fingernails at all (only my toenails when I need help with ingrown) and I don’t put on makeup in front of Becks. Still, my little girl sees her friends going to kindergarten in lipstick (some of them perpetually take out lip gloss to apply) and colourfully varnished nails. And since then, every day, she’s been longing for painted nails.

To the point that she takes my markers and paints them herself, and adds stickers for some good nail art measure.

No matter how I’ve encouraged her to play with her brothers, get involved with learning board games and play pretend to imagine a whole new world, she would naturally gravitate towards the path of vanity. I lost my blusher brush for months and found it hidden in her closet. She wanted to keep long hair and would badger me to buy her hair accessories. She also took my pearl strings and bracelets from my jewellery box and declared them hers. She started wanting to wear dresses and pretty shoes (she hasn’t asked for heels yet, thank God) and braided hair.

And this is the same girl, who at two years of age, refuses to put on anything that’s remotely a dress or skirt.

I have been saying no for many months to nail polish now, but today I decided to make her feel special, and to make her realise that Mama’s not that big an a**. And so I painted her nails, much to her surprise, delight and elation.

Why the sudden change of mind, you ask.

Because I understand that in motherhood I must be flexible. Because it is better me than anyone else to gratify that desire. Because it is more about the relationship I build with my daughter that will withstand the challenges down the road of vanity than the rules that I’ve made.

Because I intend to keep my daughter close to me for as long as I can, and to only let go when she is ready, and I need to do that with her feeling loved and not controlled.

And so she gets purple nails today.

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Christmas happiness Getting all sentimental now Happy days Invites & Tryouts Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

Capturing a moment in time this Christmas with Orange Studios

November 28, 2014

Christmas is, without a doubt, our favourite time of the year.

It’s a time for reflecting, sharing, giving and loving.

It’s a time to take stock and to give thanks.

And it’s a time to look back at how much my children have grown.

2011: Christmas with family

2011: My little Santarina Becks

2012: Keeping our tradition of getting a real fir tree!

2013: Look at the presents, and how much the kids have grown!

This year, Orange Studios invited us to capture 2014’s Christmas through pictures we would want to keep for a lifetime.

Pictures like these, to remind us that time is but fleeting and every year is a year of change that must frozen in time by photography to be kept alive in our hearts:

Oh, how quick my babies have grown!

Another year, another Christmas. Here’s to more happy times and jolly cheers!

xoxo

Just for Motherkao readers:

Orange Studios is offering a mini Christmas Photo Shoot so you will never forget this Christmas!

The following are the dates for the sessions:

Nov: 24 – 27, 30 (limited slots remaining for 30 Nov)
Dec: 2 – 4, 9 – 14

Quote [Motherkao] and for SGD180 (U.P $200) you will enjoy the following:

– a 30-minute studio Christmas photoshoot session
– all soft copy photos (8R resolution) returned with light edits

Terms and conditions:
– The above rate is for up to 4 pax. Top-up $15/pax for additional participants.
– Maximum 2 outfits.
– $30 surcharge for weekend sessions.
– Soft copy photos will be provided in a DVD, by self-collection. Top-up $4 for postage (i.e. normal mail).

Contact them at 8606 6950 or contact@orangestudios.sg for enquiries or bookings. Connect with them via Facebook for more updates!

Disclosure: We love Orange Studios, and were super stoked to be invited by them to share this offer. No monetary compensation was received for this post, and all opinions here are our own.

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Becks Kao Ben Kao Family life as we know it Getting all sentimental now Nat Kao The Kao Kids

Letters sealed with love and just a little more

November 26, 2014

I wrote these to my children tonight.

Because?

Because one is learning to read, one is learning to identify simple sight words and one is learning to identify the letters of the alphabet and his favourite things.

Because they never fail to show me how disappointed they are whenever we open the mailbox and nothing is for them.

Because we just read Colin McNaughton’s S.W.A.L.K (Sealed With A Loving Kiss) at bedtime.

Because I know Nat would love to have me draw him a million green triceratops; Becks would love to colour some pretty flowers and Ben would love to be affirmed by my words.

And…

Because Mama has been missing in action this whole week being at work, and she badly needs to tell them how much she loves them.

In a way that means most to them.

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(Self) Examination Family life as we know it Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

Words.

November 22, 2014

To my dearest children,

These days on some mornings, what I see sometimes breaks my heart.

Have I been too harsh? Too unkind? Are you picking up this unkindness from me?

You are all waiting for a chance to pounce on one another.

Go away! Don’t disturb me! Get out! I don’t like you! Why?! What?! I don’t like you! I don’t love you! Ugh! Shut up!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At so young, all of you seem so agitated when things don’t go your way.

I know I have to give all of you room to resolve your conflicts and learn how to navigate your way through friction that’s experienced because you have siblings.

I know I need to give all of you room to grow and understand what one another is like. And to accept one another for who he or she is. Every one is different. How everyone relates to everyone is different. And you have to live everyday learning that the world doesn’t resolve around you, and that there are people around your age here in this family that you would have to live with for a long time.

The moment you wake up, you’re with a brother or a sister, or two brothers for you, Becks. You’re never alone.

And you start your day everyday just learning to share, negotiate, speak up and get along. Yes, I do also know you don’t have a choice.

May I suggest something, my babies? The world is already harsh, cruel and unkind out there. Let’s speak kindness. Let’s choose to love here, at home.

Don’t be too eager to pour out on your siblings what you hear outside or from the adults in your life – we have not been good examples and always wished we could be better. We have been busy, flustered and tired to the bones.

And deep down, we wished we could always have a kind word for you.

So my dears, love one another with your words always. Because one another is all you’ve got. Play together, learn together, navigate through the course of this life together. And if there are disagreements and when things go your way, choose the way of love.

Don’t ever say you don’t love one another, ok?

Let’s not break each other’s hearts here in this family.

Loving all three of you to the moon and back,

Mama

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