(Self) Examination Family life as we know it The Kao Kids

Loving, small human beings called children

October 22, 2014

Years ago back when I was in secondary school, at a personality profiling workshop, I surprised myself with my own results. While my friends and peers had a mix of different personality traits, mine came from only one dimension, with nary a hint of variety.

I don’t think you need to guess hard whether I was an all D or I or S or C.

Image captured from https://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc/overview/

Image captured from https://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc/overview/

Yea, I was one-track mind and one dimensional then back in school. I was a ‘D’, which means I demonstrated my emotions based on the ‘Dominance’ behaviour type. As a ‘D’, I’m task-oriented, opinionated and pushy.  As a ‘D’, my to-do list is more important than anything else in the world.

I am pretty sure I still am all that the profiling assessed me to be, even till this day.

Which makes me a really big a**hole on most days nowadays because my to-do list is almost ten miles long and my natural tendency is to put tasks before relationships and get things done at any cost, and my greatest satisfaction is to have checked something off that ten-mile long to-do list.

Which means I would ignore my kids when they come to me, whether with genuine needs or not, because I.am.so.going.to.finish.up.writing.this.curriculum.unit

AND I.so.need.to.complete.all.the.frigging.administrative.paper.work

AND I.don’t.care.what.just.handle.the.problem.on.your.own.for.crying.out.loud


On most days, I don’t just only ignore them. I holler at them for disturbing me. I scream at them for making me lose my train of thought. I yell at them from afar to stop fighting/whining/complaining/playing a fool/acting like monkeys. I sometimes shut myself in the room for a long time so I can work.

Someone please tell me how do I make this work-at-home-motherhood gig work?  This is more insane than I thought.

But despite me being the greatest jerk of a mom these days because we’re at the final lap of ironing out the kinks of the business (and there’s just so, so, so much to do), my children – my lovely children – are still making so much room in their hearts for this domineering, dominating, overbearing task-oriented mother.

Every day they send little drawings and notes my way to tell me how much I am loved.

From Ben to Mama

From Ben to Mama

Becks says we should all be happily playing at home

Becks says we should all be happily playing at home

Nat can't write yet but he made sure the helper held his hand to make me this

Nat can’t write yet but he made sure the helper held his hand to make me this

These are beautiful children with so much to give in their hearts.

It’s amazing how a person who’s all ‘D’ married someone who is so balanced (Fatherkao is more ‘I’ but has bits of ‘D’, ‘S’ and ‘C’) and gave birth to children who are so giving and forgiving.

I think God gave us children to teach and remind us that it is in them we find balance in life.

And God gave me these angels from heaven to tell me that I am loved, and that the way to find the balance back in my life is to love them back with all that I have.

My three lovely babies

My three lovely babies

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  • Reply Kristeen Bullwinkle October 24, 2014 at 12:50 AM

    Every DiSC style has difficult with parenting. It’s a tough job I have never had the courage to tackle. Just remember we that while we have style priorities and tendencies, we can all learn to adapt and stretch across the DiSC circle. Kids certainly teach you that. Thanks for your post. I bet your D-style is great in a crisis: what needs to get done, will get done.

    • Reply MotherKao October 24, 2014 at 11:16 PM

      Agree totally, Kristeen, that we can all learn to adapt and stretch across the DiSC circle. This profiling shouldn’t be used to pigeonhole ourselves as parents but to help us become more balanced as the parent. Like for me, I always need to be mindful to build relationships and prioritise people above tasks! 🙂

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