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Becks Kao Milestones and growing up What to Expect... As a Mother

The day my little girl said she hates me

July 11, 2016


I had never expected this day to come so soon. At some point in motherhood, I had imagined that my daughter might throw one huge tantrum and scream hurtful things at me but that would be the part when I am raising her in her adolescence and NOT NOW.

This episode takes the cake of all the tantrums she’s ever thrown and is making me rethink about preparing my heart for more epic tantrums sooner than later.


So it was a typical Sunday like all other Sundays yesterday. We spent time together as a family and made plans for dinner. And since it was an evening where we were going to get a rare treat from a chef friend who was going to cook us a meal at our place, I thought I’d better bring Ben to the hair salon for an overdue hair cut (and before the discipline master in school charges me for neglect – it’s been 2 months!) while dinner was being prepped.

And when I asked aloud in the car if anyone wanted to follow, I was surprised to hear Becks chimed a loud ‘ME!‘. This girl would never let anyone touch her hair, let alone cut it. She was quick to make her conditions known though – a trim will do, thank you very much; I’d still like to tie up my hair and braid it like Rapunzel ok, Mama?!

When we got to the salon we frequented, I gave instructions to the stylist for both kids who wanted their haircut.

For Ben, short, please. As short as possible.

For Becks, I pointed to where her shoulder blade was and told the guy in Mandarin that this little customer of his would expect to still tie her hair up after her haircut.

But I – very unfortunately – also did the following:

– used the word ‘chop’ in my mix of spoken Mandarin and English

– convinced Becks that the back of her hair looks nicer layered and subsequently agreed that it should be layered (which contributed to the short length)

– agreed that he should do whatever that’s needed to get rid to that tension wave that’s looking pretty obvious on her long tresses due to excessive tying

– read HER WORLD and not hover around the hairdresser and breathe down his neck to make sure the haircut was done to her requirements

Bad, bad Mama, I was. Catching up on all my magazine flipping

Becks must have sat there feeling extremely horrified as the cutting went on as her hair got shorter and shorter. To her credit, she stayed composed until we left the salon. I could tell my little girl was terribly upset with this haircut but she kept a straight face.

It didn’t help that her brothers called her ‘mushroom head’ (ugh, boys!) and everyone (my helper, me and the two hair stylists at the salon) exclaimed that she looked great with short hair after the cut was over.

She asked me in private after we’ve left to tie her hair up, and when I couldn’t, I knew a storm was looming.

I frantically took this photo and sent it to my family group chat so she could hear assuring praises from her yeeyee and grandparents that she had a fantastic haircut, but that didn’t quite work out because she kept insisting on our walk home that I tie up her hair.

The smile she couldn't fake

The smile she couldn’t fake

I quickly texted her dad who was with our chef friend at home and warned him that Becks was unhappy about a haircut gone wrong. I made sure that he knew what happened and told him to assure her when he sees her later.

And when we finally got home, her father gave her hug and told her she was the most beautiful in his world, and that was when she burst into tears and screamed at the top of her lungs saying:

“I HATE YOU MAMA. I DON’T LIKE YOU! I HATE YOU, MAMA” with the deadliest glare I have ever seen.

She then walked across to where I sat and hit me profusely, hissing at me to give her her long hair back, and when I said I couldn’t, she did the unthinkable.

“Then I wish you would die, Mama. I hate you,” she sobbed.

All because of a haircut



I watched in disbelief as my daughter cursed me with such anger. I even let her hit me to vent her frustrations, only to realise that she was reveling in the hysteria more and more as she hit and cursed and glared.

So I walked out of the house to remove myself from this hysteria and went downstairs. I sat alone at the playground for 15 minutes, thinking about those times I hurt my mother with the words I said and wondering if my mom would be in stitches right now, thinking: is this what they call karma?

When I returned, Becks was all showered and clean and lying in bed, sobbing, AND COMBING HER HAIR like there was no tomorrow. She managed to whimper a soft ‘Sorry Mama’ when she saw me and I made it known that whilst the apology was accepted, I was deeply hurt.

“All because of a haircut, Becks, and I cannot believe you wished I die because of this. Your hair would grow and you’ll have your long hair back but if I were to be gone, I’ll be gone forever” was what I said to her.

Life quickly resumed after we both calmed down (thank God for my boys who hugged me and made it all better). We had a lovely dinner with the most awesome steak and aglio olio and grilled corn linguine, thanks for our private chef friend.

While we were eating, my daughter disappeared every now and then to comb her hair.



Last night before we went to bed, I held my little girl tight and assured her that I would never hurt her or harm her. It was only a haircut, and I was sorry I didn’t control the process of her hair being cut more strictly than I should.

I told her she should never ever say those horrible things to me ever again and she made me a promise she wouldn’t.


Motherkao loves...


July 10, 2016

Just because…

Seorae (1)

Seorae (2)

Thank you, Big Boss.

Plaza Singapura, #02-01, 68, Orchard Rd, Singapore 238863

Opens daily from 11:30AM – 11PM

Postscript: Not the best banchan (no spread!) but there’s free flow egg and cheese in the grill pan. Galmaegisal was ok and steamed egg was a tad salty. So, this post isn’t a review of any sorts. Happy to just have SJK tie my laces. Hurhurhur.

Milestones and growing up Nat Kao Thunderstorm days

The sudden case of not being able to walk

July 9, 2016

Nat has had two viral fevers over the past 3 weeks.  I’m not sure if this was a happy coincidence for him because he is now in the phase of really NOT wanting to go to school.

If you ever needed a heat pack...

If you ever needed a heat pack…

His last viral fever which ended last weekend was a pretty scary one. After three days of high fevers hitting close to 40 degrees, he woke up one day suddenly not being able to walk. He cried, clutched his calves, crawled out of bed and bawled his eyeballs out declaring that there was pain in his legs and “I CANNOT WALK!”

That was enough to frighten the s**t out of me because the last time I read about children who told their parents they can’t walk was when children were diagnosed with meningitis.

Thankfully, after the morning had passed, he gained some strength in his legs and by the time he was at the PD in the afternoon, he was all smiles. The doctor said he could have been lacking electrolytes in his body or dehydrated after an illness or perhaps going through growth spurts.

Well, whatever that’s not meningitis sounds great.

And this boy’s really just milking my anxiety and excessive mothering this entire week for as much as he can, occasionally dramatising his pain and saying he can’t walk and sniffing and coughing in more exaggerated ways than I can imagine so he can get away with not going to school.

So what’s a mother to say to a 4-year-old who’s gone through a pretty traumatic 3 days of high high fevers and an episode of “WAAAAAA…I CANNOT WALK! SO PAINFUL, MAMA, HELP ME!” that frightened the pores out of her?

She lets him have his way.

The last child gets away with all these, I tell you.

And the best caption in Singlish would be: got fever, cannot walk, still can smile! AIYO!

And the best caption in Singlish would be: got fever, cannot walk, still can smile! AIYO!

Milestones and growing up Mommy guilt Nat Kao The Kao Kids

What my children prayed

May 12, 2016

Every night during tuck-ins, the kids and I would pray. Sometimes I would pray and they would say “Amen”; some nights they would repeat a prayer after me. A while ago, I invited the children to pray for me and Fatherkao.

This was what transpired…

Ben: Dear Lord, I pray that you protect my Mama and Dada from harm and danger. Keep them safe. Amen.

Me: Thank you, Ben. I say ‘Amen’ too.


Nat: Dear God, make my Mama eat a lot. So she can be fat.

Me: Ugh! Nat! Did you just ask God to make me fat? Why?

Nat: If she eat a lot, she will grow and grow so she can be as tall as Dada. Amen.

Me: Mama doesn’t want to be fat, Nat!

Nat: *silence*


Becks: Dear Lord, make my daddy strong. Give him a strong back. And make my Mama not angry so she won’t be angry with us. Amen.

Me: That’s nice, Becks. You know Dada’s back has been acting up, and Mama’s patience has been running low every day, huh? Thank you for your prayer.

And then a loud wail happened…

Nat: *crying loudly*

Me: Why are you crying?

Nat: Why you like Becky’s prayer and korkor‘s prayer but you don’t like mine??? WAAAAAA!


That night, a selfish mother happened. I had heard my youngest child’s words of prayer but not listened to his heart. In his world, my four-year-old saw that his mother was smaller in size than his father and felt that she should be as grown as he was, and went on to pray that his mother – his world, his everything – would never be at a disadvantage in size, ever.

After all, she was the centre of his universe.

Out of the mouths of babes.

Out of a gentle heart and the kindest spirit, Nat prayed. For me.

That night, I held him tight and thanked him for his prayer.

That night, apart from needing to smack myself in the head, I thanked God that I received from all three of my children who’s made me everything in their world, and that I received most from my littlest whose heart has remained so pure he just genuinely wanted his mother to eat well and grow.

May I learn to be a mother who listens and not judge, and one who receives when her children give.


My children, my world, my everything

My children, my world, my everything

All this blog's PR Stuff Going Out! Reviews The Kao Kids

10 reasons why we loved our staycay (yea, you heard me right) at Capitaland’s Sky Habitat

March 30, 2016

When I first received the invitation, I was stoked. And stunned. At the same time.

Say wwwhaaaat? A staycation at a condominium? Is that even allowed? Like for real, I get to stay in a condo apartment?

Like how cool is that? The kids were thrilled. And so were we. Plus the extended family.

So we made plans to go for a quick getaway back to the north (where we used to live and hang out) on the last weekend of January to see what this condo staycation had to offer. We found ourselves awed by this when we got to Sky Habitat at Bishan:


This is Sky Habitat, located at Bishan Street 15


The view from below

‘Say wwwhaaat?’ the kids exclaimed? ‘This is our “condo-hotel” for the night?’ They were all intrigued by the fact that it was like our typical staycation at a hotel stay except that we were not going to be in a hotel room but here, at a  3-bedroom condominium apartment:


What it’ll look like if you lived in a 3-bedroom apartment unit in Sky Habitat

Truth be told, I secretly wished I could stay here forever.

Our staycation may be over, and we’re still pretty much hung over and bummed by the fact that we’re back to reality. Nonetheless, here’s 10 reasons why we really loved this staycay (or otherwise known as if-I-had-$-I-may-so-buy-this-place AND if-you’ve-got-$-you-should-really-consider-Sky-Habitat):

1. Taking a chill pill on the Sky Bridge

The Sky Bridges at Sky Habitat are located at levels 14, 26 and 38. And that’s like literally chilling out on top of the world. I mean, how cool is that to be looking at the clouds, lazing on one of those lounge chairs by day and looking up at the stars by night?

Our view of the Level 26 Sky Bridge from the room's balcony

Our view of the Level 26 Sky Bridge from the room’s balcony

Late afternoon lazing on the Sky Bridge on Level 38

Late afternoon lazing on the Sky Bridge on Level 38

Someone stands on the Sky Bridge on the 26th level and says she's on top of the world!

Someone stands on the Sky Bridge on the 26th level and says she’s on top of the world!

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing? What do we think we might see?

What’s so amazing that keeps us stargazing? What do we think we might see?

Being on the Sky Bridge spelled relaxation for us right away, and we were happy to just look up into nothingness for once.

2. Dining at the Sky Terrace with family

During our staycay, we had food catered for 10 people, and so it was fitting that we did an early Chinese New Year reunion dinner at the adjoining Sky Terrace next to the living room. My parents and siblings came over, and we had a time of feasting and reunion at our staycation apartment on Level 19.

We could barely keep our eyes open - the wind was strong in this one!

We could barely keep our eyes open – the wind was strong in this one!

A very sumptuous spread, thanks to Capitaland and Neo Garden!

A very sumptuous spread indeed!


Happy to be eating and watching the sun set

It was a meal with a view on a breezy evening, and a lovely time to be had with family.

3. Sports for all

Of course we had to see what the condo had to offer in terms of facilities! And like many other condos, Sky Habitat’s facilities include a gym, exercise corners, children’s playground, tennis courts and three swimming pools – the 50m lap pool, the children’s pool and the Sky Pool.

The 50m lap pool was just next to the tennis court, so while Ben, Fatherkao and my siblings had a go at swinging some rackets and picking up balls (hurhurhur), the gramps and their grandkids took a dip in the pool.

While Ben trained hard for tennis...

While Ben trained hard for tennis…

Grandpa and Grandma jumped in the pool...

Grandpa and Grandma jumped in the pool…

...And had a splashing good time with the Nat and Becks!

…And had a splashing good time with Nat and Becks!

We all paid some overdue exercise debts that day

We all paid some overdue exercise debt that day

4. Awesome skyline by the Sky Pool

This. This is the view. ‘Nuff said.

On the highest floor on the 38th level, we find this...

On the highest floor on the 38th level, we find this…

5. Private Movie Theatre

This is the super cool part of our stay. Sky Habitat has their very own private screening room.

Soundproof? Check.

Quality sound system? Yes, it’s a Bose. Check.

Super luxe seats? Check.

Snacks? All ready. (I think the little girl finished hers before the movie started.)

Super comfy lounge seats and an even super good reason to be with family

Super comfy lounge seats with front row tickets and an even super good reason to be with family

It’s movie time!

6. Luxe of Space

We stayed in a 3-bedroom apartment, and boy, do we love the living room space. Love it that everyone could lounge comfortably or look out into the skyline or hide in their little nooks and still be around with family.

The very spacious living area that can comfortably sit 10

The very spacious living area that can comfortably sit 10

Watching TV and lazing after dinner

Watching TV and lazing after dinner

With Nat busy capturing the faces of everyone

With Nat busy capturing the faces of everyone

Playing hide-and-seek in the study

Becks playing hide-and-seek in the study

Chilling out in the balcony - every room has a drool-worthy view, thanks to a spacious balcony

The kids chilling out in the balcony – every room has a drool-worthy view, thanks to a spacious balcony

Gong gong finding respite at the Sky Terrace

Gong gong finding respite on the Sky Terrace

Boys hanging out at the bar counter

Boys hanging out at the bar counter

Gives family bonding a new meaning, right here, without feeling any sense of overcrowding.

7. Chillaxing by the Children’s Pool

View of the pool from the 19th floor

View of the pool from the 19th floor

Just right below on the first floor is the Children’s Pool. Which our kids loved wading and get some endless pool-noodling fun. Fatherkao and I put on our shades and napped away amidst the palm trees, unblocked view and reclining chair in the water.

Pool-noodling in the wading pool

Pool-noodling in the wading pool

Chillax. Goodnight, world.

Goodnight, world.

A totally new way to chillax for us. A rest much sought after and well-deserved, in my opinion.

8. Simplicity

There are only 2 blocks of 38-storey residential flats (a total of 509 units) with two basement carparks, a landscape deck and other ancillary facilities. That’s all. The blocks are just Block 7 and Block 9 (hmm, someone tell me why – are they auspicious?) and that’s about as simple as it gets. Unlike those huge condo developments, you’ll never experience being packed like sardines in confined spaces. Nor do you need to meander round and round the basement carparks finding your apartment lobby and all. How lost can you get with only Block 7 or Block 9 to go to?

9. Convenience all around

3 minutes. All it takes is 3 minutes to walk to Bishan MRT Station (Circle Line and North-South Line) and Bus Interchange. Talk about convenience!

Walked across a big field and we were at Bishan Interchange in 3 minutes

Walked across a big field and we were at Bishan Interchange in 3 minutes

That's the convenience right under our nose

That’s the convenience right under our nose

Kids got their shopping fix at Junction 8

Kids got their shopping fix at Junction 8 – look at the loot!

We walked across a large field and got to Junction 8 in minutes, and did our Chinese New Year shopping at BHG for the kids.

10. 10-minutes drive to Bishan Park!

We can see Sky Habitat in the background!

We can see Sky Habitat in the background!

This was another highlight of our stay. We love Bishan Park. They boys love dogs and stood outside the dog park in Bishan Park for a long time, well, just watching the dogs go by. The little girl was happy to just run around and smell the flowers. It’s good to know that we can get a slice of nature amidst the concrete jungle, which is just a stone’s throw away.

Happy to be here

Happy to be here

Watching the dogs

Watching the dogs

And our leisurely stroll concludes our very relaxing weekend

And our leisurely stroll concludes our very relaxing weekend

Sky Habitat is what is to be the Habitat of the Future – a high-rise apartment but, in many ways, also a house. Each unit boasts a private garden or outdoor space that opens up to the sky. And when regarded collectively, the units are reminiscent of idyllic houses terraced along the Mediterranean hillsides, complete with alleys and walkways linking the community of homes on several levels. Given its unique collection of living qualities, Sky Habitat is really a new hybrid home. A house with all the conveniences and connectivity of a condominium. And a condominium with the openness, identity, and the private garden of a house.

It was a privilege to get a glimpse of this through our weekend stay there. It was a much needed respite for the tired, working adults, an enjoyable space for the children to engage and explore, and a simple yet forward-looking space for the family to bond and spend time together.

Thank you, Capitaland, for having us!

More details:

Sky Habitat is located in one of the most desired suburban residential areas in Singapore, with seamless connectivity to destinations such as the vibrant Orchard shopping belt, bustling Central Business District and Integrated Resorts, while Bishan MRT and Interchange is just at its door. The development is also surrounded by sought-after schools from Ai Tong School, Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary School & Secondary School, Catholic High School, Raffles Institution (Secondary) to Raffles Junior College and SJI International. It is also situated near heartland amenities and shopping centres like Junction 8, NEX, Ang Mo Kio Hub, Thomson Plaza, MacRitchie Reservoir, Bishan Park, Bishan Stadium, Sports Hall and Bishan Library.


Disclosure: We were invited by Capitaland and hosted by Formul8 for this staycation. All opinions here are our own. We went back to our own home after that weekend; and no, we didn’t get to stay there forever even though we wished!

I can't categorise such entries

Negotiating new terrains

February 8, 2016

2016 is a year of new beginnings.

The motherhood terrain is looking incredibly different. The landscape ahead is looking craggy and filled with highlands and alpines. For one, I’ve got a primary-school-goer this year, and that itself is changing the motherhood game completely. The academic pressure is building up, slowly but surely, and I’m beginning to get glimpses of angst, outbursts of annoyance and many occasions of arguing and bickering (the firstborn with me, his siblings, his father, and just about everyone he is familiar with). Not to mention the sporadic emo-ing complete with the sometimes pensive, otherwise sulking face looking out into nothingness which makes me DREAD the tween years which I imagine would draw nearer than I think.

And am I the only parent who is fighting a losing battle against technology? For the longest time I have kept Ben occupied with books, LEGO, crafts and sports but these days he’s been begging me for a mobile phone to play Minecraft because everyone plays Minecraft, he says.

Then there’s the other two preschoolers, one in K2 this year and the other in Nursery (and both almost at the same height now I get questions like ‘Are they twins?’ everywhere I go). They are plonked into a new kindergarten with an amazing accelerated curriculum I don’t even know if I should laugh or cry. The K2 is learning how to use Google at computer class and learning words about the rainforest I only picked up in Geog in Secondary 2. Her tingxie phrases are pegged at Primary 3 levels, and while her Primary 1 brother is being tested the spelling of pronouns like ‘she’, ‘he’, ‘they’, ‘we’, she needs to figure out how to blend and spell the different layers of the rainforest from forest floor and understory to the emergent and canopy layers. The good thing is, after a month of being in the new kindy, she’s so much more vocal and confident, and speaks Mandarin with more ease and poise than she did a month ago. Which is the reason why I am undecided if I should laugh or cry in her case because while it is such a pain taking her through her weekly spelling tests and homework, I am seeing a much more outspoken girl who enjoys going to school.

The littlest is 4 this year and he is so mature for his age, I don’t even recognise this baby anymore. He probably has 6000 words in his vocabulary now, and knows all the names of his favourite dinosaurs, Star Wars characters and just about every thing under the sun. He loves to read and write, and wishes to outdo his sister all the time (which is partly due to that super ‘on’ new kindergarten!). He argues his way out of trouble and is able to give a ton of reasons why things happen, and I find myself dealing with an even more intelligent version of my firstborn when he was 4 – which makes this motherhood gig more exhausting now than ever. Nat, oh Nat, where has my baby boy gone?

2016 also marks the year of embarking on yet another entrepreneurship journey. One chance meeting and almost a full year of incubating an idea from seed to fruition later, and I now have a 5th “baby”, one that I’ve always dreamt of having. As an educator, I have stood in almost every classroom in every possible setting – as a relief teacher in a primary school during undergrad days, an English and Literature teacher in my practicum days, as a JC lecturer and tutor for almost 7 years and as an adjunct lecturer in NIE just one year after leaving the civil service – but none was as rewarding as the “classroom” which I homeschooled the kids in where we practically explored everything we wanted to. That classroom was the most challenging yet most fulfilling, because little did I know this when I stayed home with my kids – that I was protecting their right to play; because in play, they learn the most. I was present for them in their growing years, and facilitated those precious learning hours through play as a present parent.

Which is why I’m replicating the experience I had with the kids at Trehaus.

Trehaus is the dream that my co-founders and I have always wished existed – to be present for our children and to create a place where work and play would never have to be mutually exclusive.

And so I’ve stepped onboard full time as a co-founder to direct the programmes we roll out at Trehaus, embracing the play philosophy for young children, and making work-life-balance less of a myth and more of a reality. And I am proud to declare ‘acheivement unlocked‘ for pressing on in this steep climb up the start-up route once again to bring what we’ve dreamed of to life. It didn’t come easy but we started. And I am treasuring this opportunity to educate and make a difference. I’ve stayed home for the kids and now, for a change, they will be coming to work with me.

To mark the changes for the year, the blog’s gone through a revamp too! As with life, nothing remains static. I’ve said my goodbyes (boo hoo!) to the days of diapering and breastfeeding. I no longer have toddlers with snoot to wipe off, boo-boos to kiss and toothless grins to play peek-a-boo with. This blogspace will now chronicle the new milestones I experience as a mother, the challenges I face going back to full-time work and my thoughts about topics close to my heart: of education, play, creativity and learning. And while I negotiate new terrains, I hope you will stick around and share this journey with me, as I would like to learn from you too. It’s going to be helluva ride, this year, I’m so sure of that!

Cheers to a better year ahead - one of dreams and discoveries!

Cheers to a better year ahead – one of dreams and discoveries!

Learning fun! Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

Creativity Lost and Found

January 24, 2016

The problem is real, and as an educator, I’ll even go as much to say, the problem is serious.

Children lose their creativity as they age, and many start losing that ability to think in divergent and non-linear ways when they enter school. Although there’s some shift in the focus now in the local school system to develop a child holistically and encourage creativity through project work and problem-based learning, schools still very much “teach to test” because our system hasn’t moved much to making formative assessment a mainstay in education yet. Think the PSLE and the GCE ‘O’ Levels most students go through, and you’d get a pretty clear idea that nothing much has changed in the summative method of assessment. A benchmark is used to evaluate student learning, skill acquisition and academic achievement in a one-time sitting of an examination, and this compels teachers and students alike to rely on a formulaic approach to ace the examination.

So yes, the problem of losing creativity as a child grows older is real – and serious, as a matter of fact – but as a parent, I say all is not lost. We don’t have to resign ourselves – or our children – to fate, or to the fact that research and statistics has proven it to be so, because there is much we can do as parents – our children’s first teachers – to help our kids develop those hungry and wondering minds so they can continue to be creative even as they get older.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Foster the imagination

If you follow me on my blog for a while, you’ll know that the number one thing that I’ve introduced to my three children are books, books and more books. Children stories ignite the imagination and take little ones to worlds far and beyond, and children can only go on adventures that can only be experienced with a good book in their hands. No TV show and no award-winning programme can ever replicate that firing up of a child’s imagination and turn them into life-long readers. I say, cut the screen time, and give your child a book. Or better still, immerse in one with your child on your lap, and read away!

For a list of inspiring children’s titles, you can check out the recommendations here, here and here. I bought all 50 books in the last list, and we’ve been reading and re-reading them at tuck-in every night, which is an awesome bedtime ritual to have, by the way.

2. Teach creative problem solving

I’m probably going to get some stones thrown at me here, but I think the first step to get kids to solve problem creatively is to allow them to talk nonsense.

You heard me right. Let them talk – no holds barred – and don’t judge them (unless the nonsense includes bad language, that is).

Hear me out on this. In a world of model answers, rule-following memorisation and waiting for the right answer have become acceptable and almost compulsory. I prefer to let my children take me on a spin first with what they think can help solve a problem and then help them do a little critical thinking along the way.

Case in point: My six-year-old son wants to increase his savings (to buy a book from the bookstore which I am not buying for him) but doesn’t know how to.

So Ben comes to me with this problem and hopes I can help him find the answer, but I encourage him to think crazy, talk crazy and solve his problem with whatever comes to his mind instead. And amongst his solutions over a span of weeks, he tells me about taking money from a bank (also called robbing), waiting for ten-cent coins to drop from the sky, taking $10 from my wallet (also known as stealing, in my opinion), help our helper and ask her to pay him, and performing for people so they can give him money (like a busker).

Every suggestion he came to me became a teachable moment to ask, ‘What might be a possible outcome?’ (as in the case of taking money from the bank), ‘How would so-and-so feel?’ (like my helper who might have to part with her hard-earned money) and even ‘Do you you think you could carry it out?’ (perform in front of an audience or standing under the sky for I-dunno-how-long to wait for ten-cent coins to fall), which helped him consider more perspectives and evaluate what went through his mind.

Finally, he told me that he could ask the neighbour if he could throw her trash for her nightly so she doesn’t have to walk out to the common chute. It was something he could do, he said. It was something he felt he could commit to, he also added. And he was going to boldly ask her for 20 cents every night he helped her walk out to throw trash.

And he did. Much to my neighbour’s delight and his satisfaction.

That’s some entrepreneur talk already, for a six-year-old. Ben discovered a possibility ALL by himself.

3. Surround your child with construction toys and natural materials

Construction toys and your typical egg carton, cardboard and bottle caps can hardly match the latest battery-powered robot or video game for their flashiness value, but the former helps children develop divergent thinking, not to mention motor skills, hand-eye coordination, spatial skills and creative thinking.

Make LEGO bricks and wooden toy blocks the staples of play for your child. Throw in some kitchen rolls or toilet rolls, empty Yakult bottles, ice cream sticks and milk bottle caps, and encourage your child to create, design and innovate. Open-ended materials like these allow for divergent – as opposed to convergent – play and give children an intuitive grasp of how things work, fit and align, together with a visual-spatial sensibility and lots of fun creating, dismantling and building.

You’ll be surprised like I have been.



4. Let your child decide what he wants to learn

I’ve been very inspired by the Reggio-Emilia approach for early years education which is based on the fundamental premise that “the child is made of one hundred” – a hundred languages, a hundred hands, a hundred thoughts, a hundred ways of thinking, of playing, of speaking, of listening, of marveling, of loving a hundred joys… (Loris Malaguzzi, the guiding genius of Reggio). What strikes me most in this approach of teaching young children is the use of “provocations” which are deliberate and thoughtful decisions made by the teacher to extend the ideas of children, who are viewed as capable, inquisitive learners. I like how in this approach the teacher extends what the children want to know or learn and become the facilitator to help children explore.

One of the things parents can do is to give the child a say on what he or she wants to learn and embark on a learning journey together with the child by putting together open-ended materials for exploration, miniature museums at home or simply tapping on that “hundred” ways of thinking, playing and marveling for learning.

For more Reggio-inspired teaching and learning, follow these awesomely creative people and blogs:

1. ‘Miss Reggio’ Blog

2. An Everyday Story

3. Let the Children Play

5. Encourage curiosity (by allowing your child to feel bored)

Children need to be given the room to feel boredom because this negative emotion can be such a motivating force to push them to create their own entertainment (source). Nobody is responsible for amusing them and if you would just try to resist the urge to turn on the TV and let your kids get bored, you might be surprised to see what they can entertain themselves with. My kids would sometimes grab a book and sit quietly on the couch or grab their stuffed toys and suddenly find reason to go on a “holiday”, “excursion”, “theme park visit” or “picnic” with them. Sometimes my eldest would lie in bed and talk to himself, dreaming up worlds in his imagination, and my youngest might decide to roast some “chickens” (he once used a hanger, some strings and pegs to hang and tie all the caps at home and called them chickens, “roasting” them by the bedside lamp!). My little girl would start combing her ponies’ hair and sort her paraphernalia out, or just sit by the window and watch the world go by. Whatever they set out to do from the state of boredom has always yield more rewards and surprises than anything negative (some people think children become destructive when they are bored but inquisitiveness can be managed with boundaries set).

The unpleasant sensation of boredom have often propelled my children to search for something engaging, and this, to me, keeps them constantly creative.


Creativity fosters mental growth in children by providing opportunities for trying out new ideas, and new ways of thinking and problem-solving. Somewhere along the way we might have lost it growing up, but we could always make it a part of our parenting philosophy to help our children so they never lose that creative spark even as they grow older.

All this blog's PR Stuff Going Out! The Kao Kids

We’re racing to the zoo, zoo, zoo – Safari Zoo Run 2016

January 17, 2016


The littlest is 4 this year, which means we can *at last!* take part in the annual Safari Zoo Run! AND… we’re so thrilled that we don’t have to run run with the kids – like how we had to do 5-clicks for the Sundown Marathon last year with Ben. This year, we’ll participate in the Family Dash (going at 2.5km only!) which means we can all do it together quite effortlessly (I hope!), while being at one of our favouritest places in SG. We’ve been Friends of the Zoo for a few years now and it’s going to be special this year to be taking part in the Zoo Run as a family.

The Safari Zoo Run was conceived to commemorate Singapore Zoo’s famous matriarch and one of Singapore’s most loved animal personalities — Ah Meng the Sumatran orang utan, who died of old age in February 2008. But really, beyond remembering Ah Meng, it’s all about a time of family bonding, as well as raising awareness on wildlife conservation since portion of the proceeds from this year’s race will go towards aiding the conservation efforts of Singapore Zoo and Wildlife Reserves Singapore.

Definitely supporting conservation. Which is the reason why we’ll always be Friends of the Zoo.

If you’re big on conservation, and love a workout with your family, book your slots here for the Zoo Run which happens over 2 days!


Note that Junior Category is open for 13 to 17 years old and the Kids Category is for 4 to 12 years old.

Date: 27 & 28 Feb 2016, Sat & Sun
Time: 730AM – 11AM
Venue: Singapore Zoo
Targeted no of runners: 16,000 pax (8,000 per day)

We’re dashing to the zoo, zoo, zoo… How about you, you, you?

Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up Mommy guilt The Kao Kids

This too shall pass

January 8, 2016

When I had a baby who fell sick pretty often, having suffered HFMD twice, needing to draw blood for running high fevers every week, I thought I hit the rock bottom of motherhood.

But that eventually passed.

When I had an infant and a toddler – oh, correction: a screaming infant and a needy toddler – and my husband very unfortunately broke his leg and was wheelchair bound for 6 months and I had a full-time job to do, I thought I hit rock bottom again in this arduous journey called motherhood.

But that eventually passed as well.

When I was pregnant with a bigger-than-his-siblings baby who made me breathless all the time and gave me an almost hip dislocation which caused the doctor to order bed rest, and I was towing a screamy toddler who was tantrum-prone and an inquisitive, chatty and eager-to-learn preschooler who needed to field questions at his mother almost every waking minute and still at a full-time job, I thought I was stretched beyond thin in this motherhood gig.

Well, that too, eventually passed.

And then soon enough I had a nursing infant in my arms (who needed to nurse all!the!time!) and two preschoolers; and as if that wasn’t already crazy enough, I made the insane decision to stay home, living those years thinking that I could very well have gone mad with having to cope with 3 kids with such close age differences.

But that eventually passed and although I had lost my sanity again and again, my screw’s pretty tight right now thankfully, so phew.

This is 2016 and there are now 2 preschoolers and a primary school goer in the house. There’s now, in addition to the neediness from the younger ones (because Mama’s back to full time work launching something exciting and can no longer send them to school so they take the school bus), insecurity and uncertainty from the primary one goer who has homework, bag-packing, sorting out pocket money and spelling to do and learn. Add to that also – the new kindergarten is pushing my middle child in typical P1-ready fashion from Day One already, which is totally stressing me out. I saw the words ‘canopy’, ’emergent layer’, ‘understory’ and ‘rainforest’ in my K2’s spelling list for Week 6 which left me FLABBERGASTED beyond words because my dear girl can barely read, let alone spell.

For the first week of the year, I felt nothing but stress to have to rush home in time to make sure everyone is in bed by 8.30pm (which still ended up to be 9ish, 10pm – my poor, sleep-deprived children!) and making sure all 3 bags are packed, that spelling is learned, homework is done and everyone gets some air time to share their day at school. I feel guilty for leaving them in the hands of my helper for most parts of my working day and having to turn on the TV for them so the helper can cook and they would not be up to any mischief shooting catapults at birds from the window or drawing on the walls or making 1000 calls to me. With three of them at different developmental milestones in learning and always wanting to play and be their active selves, it is impossible to implement a self-directed learning routine.

It has to involve me and me setting the routines with them, and helping them follow a schedule while instilling discipline, which I unfortunately can’t do; because this year, I’ve gone back to vesting my time fully at work.

Which leaves me again with three needy kids whose love language of quality time I can’t speak on week days  – well, at least this first week of school – and a definitive surge of suckiness all round.

I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes. This sucky, yucky feeling.

And this too, shall eventually pass.


Back to school in new environments!

Back to school in new environments! My big babies!

All this blog's PR Stuff Motherkao loves... Reviews

New year, old perm, and magic! [Review of Mosche Hair Salon]

January 7, 2016

This new year, I had my hair “refurbished” instead of getting a new look.

I’m not sure if you remember this exactly a year ago – but I got hooked up with two very experienced stylists who heard my plea for bounce and texture to my otherwise very limp, fine hair, who did this for me as part of my ‘De-Auntify Me’ Image Improvement Project at the end of 2014:



A soft perm at Mosche in December 2014

The AFTER, Part I: A soft perm at Mosche in December 2014

And then a final touch of brown

The AFTER, Part II: And then a final touch of brown

And the perm that I got done at Mosche exactly a year turned out to be the very FIRST perm that I’ve ever had that lasts. For one entire year.

I’ve had fine, straight hair all my life. And I’ve had countless perming done to it. They lasted from 2 weeks to 3 months at most, most of the time. None has ever proven my money’s worth (and time too).

Until this.

I think only Magic Scissorhands can give a defined cut like this and a perm that can last for a year

I think only Magic Scissorhands can give a defined cut like this and a perm that can last for a year

Which makes me love these folks at Mosche, namely my stylist Leslie and his assistant, Annie, and all the very experienced colourists, so very much. They are good folks who won’t fleece a cent out of you and would go all out to make sure that everything that’s done for you is worth your time, money and effort making your way there. They would suggest hair colour that matches your skin tone, take the time to learn about the image you need to portray at work, and recommend hair styles that suit your personality and habits. I’m used to going to stylists all around Singapore whose first question is always, ‘So what can I do for you today?’ but ever since stepping into Mosche I realised that they work a little differently around here. They actively take a keen interest in what really, really suits you.

With Leslie, before the cut and after the colour

With Leslie, before the cut and after the colour

At last, a perm that lasts!

At last, a perm that lasts!

So this was why I only had a hair colour (done twice in fact, because Leslie’s perfectionist streak wouldn’t even allow any uneven patches!) and hair treatment done.

Because the perm has retained its wave for a year and the hair is growing out very nicely with it. Because there’s no need to do another for the sake of it.

Same hair, same perm, different year!

Same hair, same perm, different year!

And this is how magic happened. I am starting the year in total awe of such professionalism and talent, and all ready to kickstart the year looking refurbishedly refreshed, all thanks to the good people at Mosche, who take their work and my crowning glory very, very seriously!

Happy New Year!

More details:

Mosche Hair Salon is at ROYAL PLAZA ON SCOTTS, Level 2, 25 Scotts Road, Singapore 228220.

Operating hours:
Monday to Friday – 10.30am to 8pm
Saturday – 10.30am to 7pm

Tel: 6734 0923 | 9628 8312

The person to ask for is Leslie Yap, the Artistic Director of Mosche Hair Salon, without whom this magic would never have happened.


Disclosure: This is not a paid review. All opinions here are my own.