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No love in my tummy

November 18, 2013

Two weeks ago I experienced symptoms similiar to a fourth pregnancy: nausea, bloating, morning sickness. I was wretching bile in the early hours of the first two mornings and kept awake at night by cold sweat as my tummy started getting all knotted up like clockwork come 2am.

Except that I am definitely not pregnant. And it definitely ain’t gonna be any fourth time.

I went to the doctor after trying to tahan the pain for 5 days, and was told I might have a case of peptic ulcer. A peptic ulcer is an ulcer caused by stomach acid. An ulcer is where the lining of the gut is damaged and the underlying tissue is exposed. The doctor prescribed some acid suppressing medication and instructed that I try it out for 3 days. If it worked, I could continue treatment for a week. If it didn’t, it means that the ulcer was more serious than she thought and I would need a scope and day surgery.

Picture by Rob Jr. Picture Credit: Deviantart.com

Picture by Rob Jr. Picture Credit: Deviantart.com

The ulcer is healing right now, and I am glad I am feeling much better. I’ve made a couple of changes to my lifestyle (small little ones!) to make sure the condition doesn’t recur, and at age 32, I am glad for this wake-up call to treat myself better even with full time motherhood duties consuming my entire body, soul and mind.

1. Quit bubble tea

Yes, I’ve made one of the hardest decisions I have to make this year.

For someone who has had a cup of bubble tea (I drink milk tea at 25% sugar with no ice and no toppings) every single day since March 11 2013 (the day the kids started kindy and I started walking to Nex 5 days a week), it’s a painful one to quit for the bubble tea addict that is me. But in light of the hyperacidity in the stomach, and the pain I’ve experienced for that 5 days, it’s clear sign that perhaps this addict needs rehab.

2. Light supper half an hour before bed

I don’t have the habit of eating before I go to bed (unless I didn’t have my dinner). But now I try to have a cup of warm Milo and some bites if there’s a gnawing feeling of hunger. If I’m feeling really hungry, I no longer try to sleep the hunger away till the next morning (which I often do for fear of gaining weight). A few nights ago I cooked myself a bowl of ramyeon before I went to bed. The warm soup that warmed my stomach helped me sleep very well that night!

3. Eno’s is not a bad idea

It took a while for me to differentiate these three uncomfortable state of being: feeling bloated, feeling gassy, feeling hungry. I never had all these problems until recently, and I found the answer to one of the problems in this horrid drink! Hands up if you hate Eno’s Fruit Salt as much as I do. But surprisingly, the fast-acting effervescent fruit salt used as an antacid and a reliever of bloatedness has saved me on more occasions than one. I’m making sure this is a frequently stocked up item in the medicine cabinet.

4. Don’t pile on the chilli. Or belachan. Or chincalok. And go easy on the tom yum.

Nuff’ said. Another big sacrifice for a person who absolutely loves, loves, loves her spices. Moderation is now the answer to all my stomach woes.

5. Go for warm instead of iced

Never thought I would say this, but yea. I thought I’d only order warm drinks and stay away from iced ones when I am 60. Drinking cold drinks gave me so much pain when I had the stomach ulcer episode, and so now warm beverages are the way to go for me.

Many folks like to associate ulcers with stress, and I tend to think being stressed out lowers one’s immunity somewhat. Although it’s not been proven that stress, cold drinks and spices cause stomach ulcers, well, whatever it is, I’m making sure that this doesn’t come back to torture me again by chillax-ing as much as I can, and not get so worked up with the kids.

Be kind to your tummies and keep healthy!

Also linking up with:

www.ajugglingmom.com
Close encounters with the maid kind Family life as we know it The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

MITKH v.1

October 16, 2013

While most of my friends were busy candy crushing and completing their heist missions in GTA V, I was busy accomplishing the missions in MITKH* v.1 the last 5 days.

* MITKH : Maidless in the Kao Household

There were many levels to complete in MITKH v.1 and all of them came with challenges which had to be completed mostly in single player mode. Like any RPG, the player has to take responsibility for acting out roles within a narrative through a process of structured decision-making and character development.

Here are some of the challenges I completed in MITKH v.1 in ascending order according to the level of difficulty:

  • Challenge Take Care of Daily Needs of Three Children ON YOUR OWN

Level of difficulty 1.5/5

In this challenge, you double up as mom and maid. With one pair of eyes, hands and legs, you feed, bathe, dress and tuck in three kids aged 4, 3 and 20 months simultaneously. With practise, the children learn to wait their turn and you get better and faster such that you don’t get too flustered by the tasks any more. Sometimes, unexpected things happen, such as one of the kids falls and hurts himself, spills food on the floor, poops at meal times and throws a tantrum.

Cheat trick: Take deep breaths, ignore if you can so you can focus on mission, ensure that the older ones follow instructions to the letter. Enlist the help of Mr Cane if you have to to ensure order and discipline so mission gets accomplished with minimal yelling and nagging.

* Bonus points if you accomplish tasks with minimal yelling and nagging.

  • Challenge Mind the House that has NO Window Grilles with Three Kids

Level of difficulty 2/5

In this challenge, you face bored kids with mischief up their sleeves and no grilles in your confines. The kids unexpectedly throw ball, shoot Nerf guns, jump up and down sofa, tables, waist-level shelves and beds.

Cheat trick: Locate books and scatter them everywhere in the hope that kids will see them and start reading. Shut windows if needed. Enlist the help of Mr Cane if you have to to ensure order and discipline so mission gets accomplished with minimal yelling and nagging.

* Bonus points if you’re able to get grilles installed in time.

  • Challenge Bathe, Poop and Pee with Nobody Watching Three Kids

Level of difficulty 2.5/5

In this challenge, you need to do the above real quick. Unfortunately, all kids are awake and needing your attention. You do not have the option of skipping this challenge as you smell like a stink bomb.

Cheat trick: Usher kids into the master bedroom. Shut windows and doors. Turn on the air conditioning. Get them to sit in a circle. Tell the kids that you are going to play a game and you will emerge in a few minutes looking all gorgeous and get them to imagine what a sight it will be. Ask them to close their eyes and guess what colour of clothes you’ll be putting on / what t-shirt you would wear / whether you would appear wearing a skirt or a pair of shorts. Throw as many questions to them as possible and run into toilet to accomplish mission.

* Bonus points if kids don’t start banging on your door after one minute.

  • Challenge Do Laundry: Fold, Wash, Hang with Baby Holding on to Your Legs

Level of difficulty: 3/5

In this challenge, the laundry bags are filling up faster that you can say ‘laundry bags’. There are clothes on the bamboo poles which require keeping, dirty laundry not washed and baskets of laundry unfolded. Plus there’s a baby perpetually grabbing your legs everywhere you go.

Cheat trick: Ask older kids to help you and be specific – pair up the socks, fold your own underwear, bring these to the washing machine, give me 5 pegs for this pole – and remember to ask nicely. Make it sound like it’s the most important job they could do in the whole world.

Helping to keep clothes

Little trooper following instructions to hold clean and folded laundry this way and to keep them in the cupboard

* Bonus points if kids don’t walk out of their job halfway and decide to do something else and if you do not abort tasks in this challenge with baby grabbing legs.

  • Challenge Prepare Fried Rice for Lunch with Baby Holding on to Your Legs

Level of Difficulty 3.5/5

In this challenge, you’re alone and kids are starving. It’s too far, too hot, too troublesome (plus too embarrassing since you smell like a stink bomb and haven’t brushed your teeth) to walk out to buy lunch. You need to cook something quick with what you have in the fridge.

Cheat trick: Mince garlic with food processor. Mince frozen prawns with food processor. Ensure there’s eggs and leftover rice in the fridge. Give baby empty containers with caps that he can screw and unscrew to keep him occupied while you prep and cook.

* Bonus points if kids don’t faint from hunger and you’re able to wash all plates, bowls and wok, and clean kitchen up before dinner.

  • Challenge Clean House Thoroughly

Level of difficulty 4/5

In this challenge, there’s hair everywhere (yours). Plus dust, dirt, grime, food bits and booger. Every step you take makes your feet feel icky and the baby is starting to pick food bits up to ingest. Some cleaning is in order.

Cheat trick: Use lots of Magic Kleen cleaner and wiper sheets. Better still, enlist the help of older children if they are willing. Close both eyes if you need and imagine the mess and dirt is not there. Ask children and husband to do the same.

Helping to mop

Little trooper helping to mop the house

* Bonus points if you can vacuum and mop (not just use Magic Kleen!) with all kids sitting still on the sofa and not come down from it at all.

  • Challenge Prep Lesson Materials for Two Older Kids AND (actually) Teach Them Something While Baby is Awake

Level of Difficulty 5/5

In this challenge, you have to continue your home teaching endeavours and follow through with lesson planning and delivery. Kids need to trace their letters, read their readers (both English and Chinese), practise their addition and sequencing, draw, do craft, go on field trips and listen to stories.

Cheat trick: Not known.

* Bonus points if you can do all the above and not lose your cool at any point in time.

I didn’t manage to start on the last challenge. It was all too difficult and exhausting by the time I reached that. I’m hoping I never need to clear that level nor play another version. EVER. AGAIN.

Just for the record, I don’t like this game. At all. Cos’ IT WAS FOR REAL! (Sorry, need to vent.) It gave a whole new meaning to the words “bone tired” of which I am experiencing right now.

P/S: The reason for MITKH v.1 was because the helper requested for home leave to visit her gravely ill mother. Initially she asked for two weeks. I said no. She asked for one week, and I said no again. 5 days is my limit. We had a deal, and I am glad she honoured her word and returned.

I can't categorise such entries

The day I almost fainted by the kerbside (with a baby and two bags of groceries)

September 30, 2013

Today started as it always did on a Monday. Kids woke up, had breakfast, left for kindy. I did what I always do too: had breakfast, chatted with the kids for a bit, prepped them for school, and bused all three of them there. For many months now, I have been taking Nat along; we spend time together walking in the mall and learning at the supermarket, pet shop and departmental store at Nex for a good fifteen minutes every day before we head home for a nap and lunch.

So Nat and I headed to the supermarket today because I wanted to make aglio olio and chicken soup for dinner. There was nothing left in the fridge, so I grabbed a pack of celery, baby carrots, chicken, wild rocket, some tomatoes and two packets of instant spaghetti. On my way to the bus stop, I grabbed lunch for the maid, Nat and myself at Food Republic.

We hopped on the bus after waiting for 5 minutes and this was when it started: an excruciatingly stabbing-belly-aching-knotted-feeling kind of pain that told me I needed to find a toilet immediately or else. Nat had just fallen asleep on the Beco and I was carrying close to 3kg worth of groceries in weight, plus two styrofoam packs of hot food.

I got down the bus (couldn’t sit anyway) and decided I needed to flag a taxi that could blast me home quick. I was writhing in pain and perspiring profusely. I felt the knees go weak and the ankles on the brink of giving way.

There was no cab in sight; it was lunch time. I waited and waited and waited, all the while feeling like I was going to faint from the pain. It was either that or be totally humiliated by the kerbside sh**ting in my pants with a baby and two bags of groceries. No way were these options options, so I prayed and prayed that a taxi would appear right before my eyes.

When it finally did after God-knows-how-bloody-long, I was all pale and weak (I caught a glimpse of myself on the rearview mirror, yes I did). The taxi zoomed us home and I literally threw everything down (except Nat, of course) and found my place of relief.

Thank God.

This is my most embarrassing post yet. But this needs to be up, nonetheless. Oh, the things I go through for the kids.

Becks Kao Happy days Motherkao loves...

I was never a fan of pink

September 20, 2013

Before I had a daughter, my wardrobe consisted of autumn colours and I would usually be seen wearing black, white and grey.

Then my daughter came along and changed that. I started liking colours because she loved colours. First she was crazy about all things pink. Then she was into the colours of the rainbow, and now her favourite colour is green.

And just like that, very unconsciously, I started liking the colours she liked. The kids hate it whenever I wear black or white. I don’t hear their usual “Mama you’re so pretty!” whenever I am dressed in those colours. That is why I now wear colourful tops, have green nails and a metallic pink handphone cover.

I’m writing this just to say that if I didn’t have this baby girl in my life, the colour I’d most probably want my KitchenAid to be would be black or silver or white.

But no, I have a little girl who’s my only daughter, and she’s coloured my world much. That was the reason why I was found at Best Denki yesterday swooning over this pretty baby in Limited Edition Raspberry Ice:

KitchenAid

And someone loved me enough to get it for me in a heartbeat so Baby Girl and I could go “waaaaa” when it was placed on our kitchen top.

Life should be this colourful always.

Holidays! I ♥ lists Motherkao loves... The Kao Kids The real supermom

10 tips to survive Hongkong with small children

September 19, 2013

Now that I’ve gone to Hong Kong and back, and have survived a holiday with three kids, I guess I am somewhat qualified to write this post. I learned some stuff the hard way, and these lessons involved some sweat, a lot of tears, and even blood. If you’re heading to Hong Kong with toddlers or young children, you might want to keep some of these in mind.

1. Get the Octopus at the airport instead of the MTR station when you arrive

We had originally planned to buy our Octopus cards on the second day at the MTR station nearest to our hotel but I was really glad we purchased them together with our Airport Express tickets at the Airport Express Counter at Terminal 1 after touching down. We arrived in HK on a Saturday evening and the second day for us was a Sunday – which means everyone, I mean, everyone, was out on the streets. I think there were at least a few thousand Filipino domestic workers out that Sunday we were there, as well as hordes of tourists from Mainland China and HK’s own people, who love visiting the malls on Sundays.

So boy was I glad to have gotten the cards at the counter at the airport where there was no queue and zero jostling.

Octopus is accepted all over Hong Kong and can be used for transportation (we used it for the MTR, Star Ferry and the tram) and parking, at retail outlets and self-service machines. You can pay for stuff you buy from 7-11 with the card, which is really convenient.

2. When the menu in HK restaurants reads ‘steamed rice’, the rice is really steamed

When we arrived in HK on Saturday evening, the first thing we did was to travel by Airport Express to Kowloon to catch the free shuttle service to our hotel at Yau Ma Tei. That took close to an hour, including the 15 minute wait for the shuttle bus, but it saved us quite a bit of money (taking a taxi would have cost 3 times as much). By the time we checked in at The Cityview, a four-star hotel in Kowloon, we were famished. Three starving children is never a good thing, so we headed to The Balcony, a restaurant at the hotel, for our dinner. We ordered the set dinner and asked for the rice to be served first.

Who would have thought asking for rice first to feed my very hungry children would be our most frustrating wait ever.

The dishes came, one after another, but the rice didn’t, and the children remained hungry and whiny. 18-month-old Nat needed rice as his staple but the rice which was part of the set wasn’t served together with the dishes! We waited close to 20 minutes, only to realize that when the piping hot bowls of rice appeared on our table, they were not rice scooped from the rice cooker. The rice was steamed, bowl by bowl! Every grain was fragrant and steamed to perfection, and well, it was a case of better late than never for us.

So my advice to you if you’ve got really hungry kids: order fried rice or noodles or something that they can cook up quick to tide them over the hunger pangs. Steamed rice is really steamed in Hong Kong.

Rice is here! Can't wait!

Rice is here! Can’t wait!

3) People give up seats on public transportation, so learn to say thank you in Cantonese

Sunday was horrendously crowded in Hong Kong and people were packed closer than sardines in tins on their MTRs and trams (Star Ferry was less crowded). Despite that, it was amazing to see men and women giving up their seats for me, who was wearing the baby, and the two older kids. Despite the jostling and shuffling, there’s a whole lot of civility and consideration on public transport.

I made a mental note to myself that I need to teach Ben, Becks and Nat to say thank you in Cantonese the next time we’re there.

4) Don’t drink the soup

My children are soup kids. They love ban mian, which they call ‘ikan bilis noodles soup’ and all the soup versions of noodles we eat here in Singapore, like sliced fish soup, wanton mee and ba chor mee. For breakfast on the second day, we gave up waiting for a table at Lin Heung Kui and headed to one of those eateries along the street for some wanton noodles (wan tan min in Cantonese). When the noodles were served, I dished out three portions of noodles, complete with soup, for the kids.

Which was a big mistake.

Turns out that humble eateries like these don’t make broth. Their ‘soup’ is just yucky lye water (alkaline salts, or what we call kee in Hokkien) and horrible! And they don’t have wanton noodles in version dry: chilli with tomato sauce, tyvm, the way I like mine, which was a bummer.

So unless it’s a restaurant and the noodles are cooked in broth, don’t drink the lye water when you eat your yu dan min or wan tan min. Just give the kids the noodles and the dumplings.

5) Bring along children’s cutlery and food scissors, and always go to a restaurant that can strap your baby in on a baby chair

It’s impossible to get eateries and restaurants in Hong Kong to provide you with children’s cutlery and plastic plates and bowls, unless it’s Disneyland. I was well-prepared for this and brought along many kiddy spoons (the ones for soup too) and forks. My kids are 4 and 3 and 19 months and the tablespoon, soup spoon and table fork are still a tad big for them. I also brought two pairs of food scissors to cut the noodles, veggies and meat (ooh, love the char siew there!), as well as hand-and-mouth wipes (Pigeon’s wipes contain 100% food grade ingredients, so I feel at ease cleaning the scissors and cutlery with those wipes).

A note on the food scissors: remember to leave them in your check-in luggage, else they would be confiscated at the security check at the airport.

What I didn’t brace myself for, was that some restaurants don’t even have a decent baby chair to strap an active toddler in! Ben can sit still and wait for food, and so can Becks, if we make sure she’s got stuff to do, like scribble on serviettes (I always have pens in my bag), eat peanuts or play scissors-paper-stone with someone. But to make Nat wait even a minute without strapping him on a baby chair at a table with breakable ceramic and child-unfriendly everything (think sharp table corners, hot teapots, musty carpets and peanuts) is to ask for trouble.

And ask for trouble we did, on the second night.

This restaurant apparently serves great shabu shabu and yakitori grill but it was a huge mistake taking the kids there. Even if we had asked that the grilling be done for us in the kitchen. They had absolutely zero baby chair. So when I took my eyes off Nat for a few minutes (I need a vision break too, yes?), he cut his lip and chin while playing peek-a-boo with himself with the mirror behind the bench he was seated.

I almost fainted from seeing so much blood coming out from inside his mouth and the area around his chin. There was a cut (it looked like a cm long) that was gaping and for the moment there I thought he might need stitching. His lip was swelling and his teeth started turning red with blood mixed with saliva. Thank God the two cuts closed quickly with prayer and an ice cube.

So yes, this lesson was learned with blood.

If you have an active toddler, remember to ask the restaurant if they have a baby chair for his safety.

Nat's a tough one, this boy: smiling even after a fall

Nat’s a tough one, this boy: smiling even after a fall

6) Check the weather, and leave those raincoats at home in September

Download the app MyObservatory. My good friend who lived a year in Hong Kong told me that she referred to it every day before she headed out. The app provides personalized weather services, and users can get the latest weather information specific to their locations and an overview of a week’s forecast of HK’s weather.

I should have trusted the info on the app and left the raincoats at home. What was I thinking, bringing the raincoats and windbreakers and jackets! It didn’t rained a single bit while we were there. In fact, it was scorching hot and humid in September!

7) When at Disney, be prepared to be a slave

We spent close to 10 hours in Disneyland and I’m sure the kids were very glad they did minimal walking. They only stood when we had to queue and that was all the walking they did. You can rent strollers for HKD 90 at Main Street in Disneyland – and we rented three of them. Unfortunately, the strollers cannot be remote-controlled and the poor exhausted adults had to push these kiddos everywhere we went.

It was also HOT, HOT, HOT and there was very little shade. Bring a brolly and slather sunblock generously. I’m telling you, SPF 25 is NOT enough. I got sunburnt still. Go for SPF 50 and more. I slabbed copious amounts of that for the kids and they were saved. Oh, plus the fact they sat on strollers that had a little canopy that covered their heads.

Slavery begins at Disney

Slavery begins at Disney

8) Not everything you see in the gift shops can be found in Main Street. Or at the hotels. Or at the airport.

So I read from some blogs that you can get souvenirs from Disney almost anywhere. There are souvenir shops in the two Disney hotels and one huge one at the airport. And they say whatever you see in those little souvenir corners, shops and carts in all the various lands in Disney you can be sure to see the same stuff at the mega huge shop at Main Street.

Nope, sorree‘!

See this Pluto stuffed toy here?

This Pluto is special cos' it's lying on its tummy!

This Pluto is special cos’ it’s terrycloth material and Pluto’s lying on its tummy!

Ben fell in love with it when he saw it in Fantasyland. I told him, naa, we can buy it at the hotel, I’m not gonna lug this all the way and it’s like what, only 5pm, and I’m here to announce to you that we searched high and low for it after we left Fantasyland and couldn’t find it anywhere else. Nope, not even at the airport! In the end, I had to go to the Disney Store at Nex back in Singapore, and even then the Pluto we got in Singapore looked different.

A word of advice: never ever leave the buying of souvenirs to the end of the day before the park closes (after the fireworks, that is). Buy them if you want them when you see them. At the corners. From the carts. At those themed stores after your rides. Whenever. Wherever. The stores at Main Street after the fireworks suddenly turned into the all-so-familiar scenes of frantic buying and grabbing as if an apocalypse was going to wipe Mickey and Friends out from the face of the earth forever. There was way too much pushing and shoving (I tried to go find Pluto) in the souvenir shops; and it took me a long while to jostle my way out.

9) Bubble tea is not everywhere – when you see it, tapao!

I’m a hopeless addict to bubble tea. I have it without the bubble though; I need the tea to function normally on a daily basis. So there was no *Share Tea or Drink Tea or Koi where I went. I did see a ComeBuy, and I was ecstatic. Just minutes ago before seeing ComeBuy, I was at a cha chan teng trying to psycho myself that HK milk tea could somehow remotely taste like bubble tea. Good thing I didn’t down the nai cha. I couldn’t be happier to be sipping my ComeBuy Milk Tea.

I also found a Gong Cha near the hotel we stayed. Should have tapaoed one and kept it in the fridge. Needless to say, I was zombiefied at Disneyland because there was no bubble tea.

(*Share Tea, Drink Tea, Koi, ComeBuy and Gong Cha are the names of bubble tea shops. My favourite has to be Drink Tea!)

10) Toilets are hard to find. Forget pull-up pants.

One of the things that was extremely difficult to locate, besides bubble tea, was the toilet! We could hardly find public toilets and even despite asking so many people at the MTR station where the toilet was, we couldn’t find one in the station or near it to help Ben answer nature’s call. At Ladies’ Market and Electrical Appliance Street, we searched for toilets everywhere and there was none in the malls! I kept having to tell Ben to hold his pee in and even wanted to put on the diaper for him at one point, because it was just all too frustrating to be searching for a toilet for a boy needing to pee A LOT.

Of course, clean toilets are aplenty if you hang out at the more upmarket malls in Hongkong Island. Where we were at Kowloon, we always needed to get a drink at a cha chan teng or wait till meal times at restaurants to use the toilet.

Fortunately, Becks and Nat had diapers on the whole time. I’m not about to put myself in a situation where I have to bring three kids to pee. At different times. All the time.

On hindsight, I should have made them wear the Velcro ones instead of pull ups. Pull-ups are supposedly convenient to remove (just tear sides – easy if it’s not soiled) but difficult to put on. Especially when the kids are wearing jeans and socks and shoes. To pull up the pull-up, they’ve got to remove their shoes and socks and take off their jeans. Very tricky if the toilet floors are wet and dirty. If I’d brought along Velcro ones, they’d be easier to remove (just unfasten Velcro). And to wear them, all I need to do is to get them to remove their pants to knee level without taking their legs out and fasten the diaper with them in a semi-squat position (it takes skill to wear it for them standing up, but then again, I’m a mom of three!).

So just for the record, I need to say that it was hell changing Nat’s poopy diaper on the plane. He refused to lie down on the changing table. He was wearing a pull-up. He stood while I removed a diaper bomb of yesterday’s dinner. There was some turbulence. He refused to stay still while I cleaned. Let’s just say shit happened. If he had worn a Velcro one, it would have been much easier to remove, roll up and dispose. This tearing-a-pull-up’s-sides business always leaves you with a mess especially in a confined space.

And of course, may I also add Tip#11 for mums like me who have three young children? Don’t be a hero. Bring your maid. Bring a troop of babysitters. You need all the help you can get.

You’re most welcome for these tips.

Holidays! Motherkao loves... The Kao Kids

The Kaos go travelling – Hong Kong!

September 14, 2013

Finally I have a tag and category that says Holidays! on the blog.

It comes with an exclamation mark though.

So, we just returned from Hong Kong after spending 4 days and 3 nights there, with me doubling up as maid. Yes, you heard that right. In my infinite wisdom, I had made the call to travel 1600 miles away without my domestic help. Fatherkao was away for a week in Sweden and I’d thought ah well, my parents and sister, who came along on our trip would make excellent babysitters. They were, don’t get me wrong about that; they perfected their skill of distracting my kids so I can get things done / eat / poop / catch a 3-minute shut eye to a master shifu level they deserve another holiday just to unwind from this holiday. My sister commented that she’s never worked harder and never felt more tired than all of her worst days at work put together. Isn’t that master shifu level already, for someone with no kids?

But I was the one who had to handle the never-ending packing + feeding at mealtimes + making milk + washing bottles + cleaning poopy backsides + bathing and drying + brushing teeth + tucking in SINGLEHANDEDLY. For all three of them, thanks to the absence of my tag team partner, also known as the maid. Not to mention the miscellaneous motherly duties like holding hands, beco-ing the not-so-baby-anymore baby, disciplining the kids when they misbehave, capturing holidaying moments with my Olympus Pen, and answering the questions that come fast and furious from being in a foreign land and experiencing new sights and sounds every single day.

Still, I’m appreciative of the fact that my dad had sponsored our vacation so that I could finally go somewhere after staying home for six months, and the kids would be on their first plane ride ever. I was also missing the husband so bad that heading out was a good distraction for me. Paradoxically, I stayed sane from missing Fatherkao in the midst of all the insanity tending to the three kids.

The kids had fun. The highlight of their trip was being in the hotel room where tv and bath tub water was free flow, and of course, Disneyland! I had fun seeing them having fun, and thoroughly enjoyed soaking in, breathing and eating Hong Kong. I’d spent my whole life devouring TVB serials and it was magical for me to be listening to Cantonese (and trying to speak in it, haha!) and savouring everything Hong Kong about Hong Kong – the dim sum, the cha chan teng, the MTR, the crowd, the wet market, the congested roads, the hilly slopes and cobbled streets, the night markets, the street performances, everything!

Cha chan teng

Tram

HK night scene

Street performances

So yes, there are plenty of reasons why the category Holidays on my blog gets an exclamation.

All three kids took turns to poop when I was about to have my in-flight meal on our way there! I walked carrying the 11kg not-so-baby-anymore baby for hours and the back didn’t break! The left ankle (which was injured some months ago) didn’t give way! The ko yo (medicated plaster) from HK was fantastic! I had roast goose! We got lost after taking the tram – yay! We explored with kids in tow from Kowloon to Central to Wan Chai! The kids kept asking when they could return to the hotel to hibernate – argh! Nat jumped around on the second day at a restaurant that had no baby chair and fell! He cut his lip and chin and bled for a good five minutes! I almost fainted at that from trying not to panic! I survived 10 hours in Disneyland in 31°C weather with three kids! Without my maid! Nat couldn’t keep still on the plane on the flight back, thanks to the big cup of bubble tea I had!

We had a holiday! Still !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harbour view

Walking uphill

Wet market

Disney_Dumbo

Disney_Minnie Mouse

Disney_Dumbo ride

Disney_Chef Mickey

Hollywood Hotel_Car

Hollywood Hotel_Garden

Invites & Tryouts Milestones and growing up Motherkao loves... Reviews The Kao Kids

All in the picture now, thanks to Orange Studios

September 3, 2013

Fatherkao has almost never taken a break from being the resident paparazzo in the house. Since 2009, he’s been bending, squatting and contorting in all sorts of awkward positions with his DSLR, capturing precious moments of each of our kid as they tumbled, crawled and toddled in their growing years. Picture-perfect moments with the kids are also always unpredictable, which means as the resident photog, he’s always on standby mode and ready with his equipment to snap a shot.

Which also means that the number of photographs that we have with him in it are way too few the children always end up asking, “Where is Dada in the picture?”

It is for this reason alone I had agreed almost immediately when Orange Studios contacted me to review their studio photography service. Finally, Dada can be in the pictures, and we’re gonna have some nice family portraits!

Prior to the photoshoot, Orange Studios’ photographer, Ryan, rang me up for a chat to learn more about our family and the kids. He asked what Ben, Becks and Nat loved, what they enjoyed doing, and to name some activities we do together as a family. He suggested that I could bring items that each of the kid liked, books they enjoyed reading and toys they love playing with together, and individually. He also suggested how we could be coordinated outfit-wise, and asked me to think about ways I could make the couple shots special and even suggested that I bring something that was representative of Fatherkao and I during our dating days.

I packed two sets of clothes for the family – one formal and one casual – plus all the stuffed toys that each kid loves: Lego blocks, some of our favourite books, some balls and their favourite of all favourites – Nerf guns. I almost packed in some wine glasses, a bottle of wine and our dusty scuba gear (I think my flippers would disintegrate if I wore them – it’s been so long!) for our couple shots – but by the time I was done packing for the kids, I saw three of those giant Ikea bags lying in the hallway (to my horror) and decided I would be too crazy to be lugging the alcohol and scuba stuff all the way to the studio.

At the studio, we met Ryan and Wini, his lovely assistant, and they helped us settle in and feel comfortable very quickly. I didn’t tell the kids what I packed, and when they saw the Nerfs, the plushies and the Lego Duplo, boy, did they go wild! Getting them to do what they do best (going wild like apes) wasn’t too difficult at all. They quickly warmed up to Ryan, who engaged them in non-stop chatter and jokes, and the kids in turn had fun playing and posing for the camera. There were so many spontaneous moments and much laughter in the studio, thanks to our friendly photographer’s creative and sometimes wild suggestions for shots,  and we all had a ball of a time jumping, walking, talking, playing and shooting Nerf guns. It was really fun taking pictures as a family.

I shall let the pictures do the talking:

Fatherkao and Ben and NatFatherkao and BenMotherkao and BecksAll in_2All inKao kids

Kao kids and Lego Duplo

Fatherkao and Motherkao

As you can see, Ryan does a really good job making sure everyone looks comfortably natural and happy. He captures the spontaneity in the moment, and does it extremely well.

We were also given a 20″x 20″ canvas print by Orange Studios, which now sits proudly on the telephone table in our living room. The canvas print quality is superbly impressive. The colours are vibrant and the finish is clean and a beautiful sleek matte. If there was one moment I would want to capture in time and preserve it for eternity, it was that – my young children living their childhood to the fullest and our very blessed family smiling for the camera.

Canvas print

Thank you, Orange Studios, for giving us this opportunity to laugh and play freely, and to have fun together as a family!

*Here’s something for Motherkao’s readers who wish to have a spontaneously smashing good time with Orange Studios!* Orange Studios is offering a $150 cash voucher  for readers of this blog if you book anytime from now till 3 October 2013.

The Terms & Conditions that apply are:

1) You need to schedule your photoshoot within 2 months of this post, which is by the first week of November.

2) The cash voucher can be used to offset whichever package(s) you book.

To find out more, contact Orange Studios at +65 8606 6951 | +65 8606 6950 or connect with them via their FB page. Remember to quote “Motherkao” when you make your booking!

You’ll have fun for sure, this I can assure you!

Disclosure: We were invited by Orange Studios to smile for their cameras and to review their studio photography services. We were also given 10 photographs in soft copies and a 20″ x 20″ canvas print of our favourite shot. All opinions here are based on our experience and solely my own.

(Self) Examination Ben Kao Mommy guilt Re: learning and child training

Four is a tricky number

August 29, 2013

The fourth birthday brings with it a whole new set of challenges to parenting. Raising a four-year-old is tiring business in motherhood.

The tantrums and meltdowns have returned, but unlike those tantrums that we’ve seen and heard during the Terrible Twos – they are now “emo” tantrums, which are much much more easily triggered by small, insignificant things.

Ben has become the resident “emo” guy in the house. When things don’t go his way, when he perceived that he’s being bullied, when he feels a sense of unfairness – he goes to a corner of the house, folds his arms, and sulks. Sometimes in his sulking, he mumbles gibberish to himself. When I check on him and ask what he’s saying, he tells me with resentment in his face, “Nothing.”

When he is disciplined – and usually for disobedience and bullying his siblings – he becomes ten times more “emo”. I hardly use the cane to discipline him; usually a time-out would suffice. And while at time-out, he does the you-don’t-love-me-anymore and pulls the wailing nobody-cares-about-me stunt on me. He whimpers and sobs in his most pathetic, and I have to admit, it sounds so pitiful that it breaks my heart. For him, the physical separation of needing to sit apart from everyone in solitude drives him nuts and he gets very emotional about it.

I have a very sensitive firstborn, I tell you.

Then there’s the incessant questioning and the unwillingness to listen. Every minute he’s thinking of questions to ask and he’s asking even while you’re answering the first question. He’s not listening to your answers; he just wants to keep asking all the questions popping in his head. I sometimes get very annoyed because he keeps asking questions for the sake of asking, and I turn Tiger Mom on him and make him repeat all my answers to all his questions just so that he would listen and not irritate the hell of out me for questioning for questioning’s sake. There are also days when I go “I don’t know” on him, and unfortunately for me, I’m now reaping what I sowed because lately, he’s been using “I don’t know” on me whenever I quiz him about what he learned in school, how he slept the night before, and all the other questions parked under the mothering-my-child category.

Argh.

Four years old is an age of contradictions.

He waffles between insecurity and wanting to exert his independence. He talks about conquering the world, yet, shies away socially and loses that bravado at times. He makes up lots of stories, and stubbornly refuses to acknowledge the difference between fact and fiction – which becomes really tricky when I’m trying to teach him academically. I find it very hard to teach him Science stuff cos’ he’ll insist what he imagines to be right – and this again frustrates me a lot. He can be very demanding (how come you don’t know all the answers, Mama?) but also eagerly cooperative and helpful, rude one moment but also very sorry and sweet the next , and incredibly selfish, yet sensitive and sympathetic at times.

I’ve been very much a ferocious Tiger Mom these days when it comes to my four-year-old. He seems to have this innate ability to push me to the outer edge of my patience. I turn into a growling and critical mother who over-reacts every time he does what he does best – being a four-year-old. I’m frustrated, angry and drained almost every day.

~~~

But I didn’t write this post to only detail the challenges of raising a four-year-old. More than that, I’m writing to remind myself to look beyond the challenges that come with raising children at every stage that I am blessed with a four-year-old who’s curious about the world, enthusiastic about life, brimming with energy and experiencing all sorts of emotions that’s part of growing up. I’m writing to remind myself that beyond wishing that this too shall pass, to remember the now – the now that I may never get to see after the fifth birthday is celebrated and the candles are blown out – and not get too caught up in the daily grind and seeing mothering my four-year-old as a big task to accomplish.

I’m writing this to remind myself because Ben feels that I don’t love him anymore. He just told me that on the bus on our way to kindergarten. He says,”I don’t know” when I asked him if he knew that I loved him very much. That broke my heart. What he feels matter, and I have, in a bid to parent him with all the challenges that come, managed to work him like a big task to accomplish and forgotten that this boy has feelings too. When I blow it, holler at him and overreact, I push him away; I forget that he’s just being four.

I have busied myself with trying to cope with him being four (and his sister being three, and the impending Terrible Two that’s approaching with Nat) for too long that I’ve forgotten to love. To love him for who he is. Just like I’ve done when he was one year old, two, and three. And to roll with life’s punches and adapt as motherhood presents new challenges. Not react all the time and alienate the ones I wish to be firmly attached to for the rest of our lives.

Six more months before he blows out five candles. Six more month to love him while he is still four.