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Becks Kao Ben Kao Happy days Milestones and growing up Nat Kao The Kao Kids

A post (finally!) on girls and dolls [Part 1]

March 12, 2014

I have kept my little girl away from Barbie dolls for as long as I could.

Trust me, I’ve made her play with gender-neutral toys for as long as possible and even wanted her to rough it out with her brothers when they wrestled and do neanderthal-like things like grunting and crashing into random things.

I made all three kids play with toy cars, balls, Lego Quadro, Lego Duplo, kitchen masak-masak and trike-rides, and I’ve wanted it to be this way for at least the first three years of their lives. I attempted my best not to introduce any gender specific toys, unless they asked for it and only if they asked for it after they turn three.

Playing with blocks together

So Becks did get a doll when she turned two because she wanted a “baby”  and she was at that stage of wanting to comb everyone’s hair. And since I was still struggling with post-partum hair loss and constantly annoyed with the yanking and pulling and tugging of those very few precious strands left I decided to get her a Disney Mulan for her second birthday. She liked it for a total of 24 hours before she decided that her Puku bolster was a better choice for a “baby”. She’s been “mothering” those little bolsters ever since (I so need to write a post about those bolsters!), and Mulan has since been banished to a shelf known as Forgotten.

Becks' first doll ever, who has now been forgotten, disfigured and banished

Becks’ first doll ever, who has now been forgotten, disfigured and banished

And that was that.

Until recently – and it was only just this year – she started going all feminine on me and began to develop a liking for all things pink (again!) and purple and all those Disney princessy stuff and happily-ever-after stories. I was hoping the tomboy phase would stay for a while more but alas. She was also dragging me to look at hairbands and clips, dolls and fairies and all things that spelled G-I-R-L whenever we headed out. Every time she squealed, my eyes would roll.

Vanity is not something I wish to be handling now, really.

It was also only recently that she asked me for a Barbie.

Well, I’m not sure if it’s because I introduced her to her (Miss Barbara, that is) earlier last year because I did share with the kids that I loved dolls as a girl (and I only started at 5) and then grew up appreciating dolls so much that I started collecting Designer and Collector’s Editions of Barbie Dolls.

Barbie Collection 1

Ladies and Gentlemen… Presenting my precious Barbie Collection

Barbie Collection More

And more: My favourite and most expensive is the Duchess of Diamonds (my birthstone!), and it’s from a guy who wooed and won my heart (who also bought me a few more to add to my collection)

I also showed them my collection and promised them that they would get one on their respective wedding days and that Becks would inherit my collection some day.

Barbie Collection_Kids and their choices

The Kao kids “choped” their choices for themselves / their wives for their wedding day

I suspect that my little girl couldn’t wait till her wedding day, and has decided that it’s more fun to be pestering Mama for one to admire now.

Anyway, I caved in and bought her her first ever Barbie last Saturday.

Barbie_ Becks first

The reason is here in the next post, Part 2.

(Self) Examination Re: learning and child training Thunderstorm days

A wreck, that’s what I am

January 28, 2014

A wreck that's what I am

January has been a month of nonsense, noise and a whole bull-load of no-no-nos.

Almost every day, I live to fight a thousand and one fires. No kidding. I’m sure if I counted them, they would add up to a thousand and one more than a thousand and one.

That plus having to deal with so much nonsense from every single kid in the house that comes with the fighting, bickering, squabbling, crying; on top of my yellling, hollering and hyperventilating, in addition to the youngest in his Terrible Two stage saying ‘no’ to every-friggin’-possible-thing to say no to, making a mess of any-friggin’-possible-thing to make a mess of (just lately: our Waldo books and graded readers have been torn, the Immunped on the kitchen top has been shattered to pieces with one swift throw, the toilet paper in the bathrooms have been shredded and stuffed in the toilet bowls, just to mention a few) and the middle child regressing to join the youngest in his Terrible Two phase, thinking it must be the cleverest way to also get some attention.

Almost every day, walls and body parts get colour-markered, paper of all sorts from receipts to tissues and kitchen towels get shredded, and everything from books to toy cars to pillows and spoons litter the house. The middle child recently taught the youngest how to cut up rubber bands to make ‘pasta’ and the littlest has discovered the flush of the toilet bowl. The oldest is facing quite a bit of pressure from me to do more learning than playing and there have been far too many days of meltdowns and tantrums that also happen on his end (and I thought we were over that stage). The youngest is dishing out mischief every waking minute it’s becoming unbearable: think taking out poop filled diapers and running round the house butt naked, rummaging my wardrobe to wear ten panties and a bra over his head and smearing the dining table with the ketchup you give him to dip his sotong balls in and then his own face and his hands and legs, and then you. The three are also fighting so much they would mortally wound each other, literally with swords, clubs and Nerf guns. They absolutely love to bicker and pull the na-na-nee-boo-boo stunt on one another it would often result in a shouting match and lots of tears. During bath times (and because I bathe them together) they would spit water at one another, fight for the shower head only to drench me silly and eat soap.

Every day at meal times, the middle kid has regressed to a point of neediness that she demands to be fed or else. And the or else comes in the form of hell I get at 2am, 4am and 6am when she wakes up, screams her way for milk in a bottle and I go FML at her throughout the night. The youngest is giving me so many problems at meal times not wanting to sit still to eat and behaving like the brattiest person of his age on Planet Earth and goes “Mama milk…Mama milk!” with every single toss and turn while he sleeps. I am still nursing this 23 month old big baby with such an absolute sense of helplessness every night so that he shuts up and stops waking the family. I feel so sorry for my overworked boobs. The only saving grace is my eldest who’s taken on the role of the moral policeman, policing his brother and sister when they misbehave and going to the store room to take Mr Cane out (for me) so I can mete out punishment. His enthusiasm to end the craziness at meal times is commendable, which also means only one out of three does well during breakfast, lunch and dinner.

It’s an understatement to say that I am exhausted.

I am beyond exhausted. Why is it so exhausting to stay home with these kids?

When I was teaching in a school, I felt bad leaving my kids in childcare and have them taught and “raised” by their childcare minders while I teach and “raise” the kids at school like my own. Now that I am home with them, I’m often left to fend off the thought of wanting to go back to the old routine. At least I am getting paid and won’t be living in fear everyday of losing my sanity.

These days, I yell so much I think I’m going mad.

On days like these, I also snap at my husband and blame him for the fact that we did three kids in four years. What the hell were we thinking? What was I thinking? How is it that my life is so crazy? Why did he even think I can survive staying home? This is so batshitstressful it’s all his fault. Poor guy, I know he has your sympathy already. This man has to work so hard in the day and comes home to a wife with flailing arms and incessant complaining about how tough her job is.

How do people with more than three kids do it? I’m about to just worship the ground you walk if you have three kids back to back and more. Or if you have triplets or quadruplets or two pairs or more pairs of twins. Sometimes I wish Ben, Becks and Nat were triplets and perhaps life might be easier than this. At least they are of the same age and would go through their developmental milestones at the same time and this birth order thing wouldn’t be such a big thing in influencing their temperaments.

I’m not going to end this post with a revelation that I should Carpe Diem! and that I have realised that despite all the challenges, these are small things if I look at the big picture and come to a realisation that some day they wouldn’t need me / they would grow up / they would remember their childhood / they would appreciate that their mother stayed home. I have none of these epiphanies yet. Yes, yes, I know I must count my blessings and that I do have three beautiful lovely children – but I ain’t gonna end this post with a conclusion that I’ve had it all made when actually I’m:

a) really crumbling

b) finding myself a wreck on most days

c) completely exhausted by this mothering gig at this stage of my children’s life

d) all of the above

It’s tough.

It’s crazy.

Life’s a bitch sometimes.

FML.

I don’t know how I make it through each day.

BUT in all these, His strength will be made perfect in my weakness.

Becks Kao Enrichment Invites & Tryouts Learning fun! Reviews The Kao Kids

Learning the Eye Level way: Play Math Programme Review

January 21, 2014

The kids have been attending Math enrichment classes at Eye Level Learning Center at City Square Mall for more than a month now and they are always looking forward to their lessons. It’s like a routine they anticipate weekly, with us either driving or taking the NEL down to Farrer Park followed by an engaging lesson with their respective teachers, complete with getting their fruit reward stickers and some play time with blocks and counters at the centre’s play corner after class, and then have the day end with a treat of Hongkong Egglet from our favourite stall at Basement 2.

Becks attends Eye Level’s Play Math Programme where she gets to experience mathematical concepts in a fun and engaging way. Play Math is a programme specially tailored for ages 2.5 to 4 years old and is aimed at laying the foundation for developing a preschooler’s understanding in Math. The child learns how to sort, match, classify, count and recognise patterns at Play Math.

And the best part of this progamme? It’s a one-to-one lesson (about 30 -45 minutes) with the teacher, and done through story-telling and lots of sticker fun!

At every lesson, Becks receives an activity booklet which is filled with colourful illustrations that follow a story. Each activity booklet is designed to help her advance in her understanding of mathematical concepts like correspondence, sorting and classifying, comparing and counting according to levels, and the level for her to begin with was first determined using their diagnostic assessment which she sat for in December.

Eye Level_Play Math Fun for Becks 2

Becks getting ready for class and having her lesson with her teacher. Every lesson involves counting, tracing, cutting, glueing and lots of stickers!

Fun times (clockwise): Becks playing after class while waiting for Ben and peeling off stickers for her reward chart

Fun times (clockwise): Becks playing after class while waiting for Ben and peeling off stickers for her reward chart

The girl started at Level 33 and has now progressed to Level 38.

Here’s a glimpse of what’s in the activity booklet that she gets to do with her teacher at Eye Level Learning Center. I had the opportunity to take her through one activity booklet at home recently (she was given homework for one of the public holidays as the centre was closed) and we had a fun time together with it.

In this activity booklet, Becks learned the numbers 1 to 3 through a circus story about unicycles, bicycles and tricycles:

Eye level_Play Math Stories

Very captivating illustrations to engage a preschooler, I say

The activities that follow include getting her to group items, count, and put the corresponding number of stickers for the things she’s counted:

Eye level_Play Math Activities

Becks favourite part has got to be  peeling stickers off and putting them in the book

She also got to practise drawing lines and strokes which would help her develop good hand-eye coordination and better control when she starts writing her numbers:

Eye level_Play Math Activities_Join the dots

This ‘follow the circle to the the square’ kind of activity appears several times in one booklet – this is to teach the child to read and write from left to right, help in hand-eye coordination and strengthen the finger muscles so she gets better control when writing her numbers

We had a good time doing this together. I sat next to her and read her the instructions and she proceeded to do every task rather happily, although she did say her teacher was more animated when reading the story than I was. I can tell she really enjoys doing every booklet – from the one time we did it together at home, and from my interaction with her after every class. She gets to bring home the activity booklet after every lesson and would sometimes come home to erase some of the things she’s done so she could do them again at home. That’s how much she likes it!

I would say that Eye Level has scored some wins with their Play Math Programme, which I find engaging and value for money (at SGD$140 per month). Firstly, the lesson is conducted in a one-to-one setting and an experienced teacher is assigned to the child to take her through the booklet in a fun way. Secondly, the booklet itself is designed to keep the child engaged for at least 45 minutes with its colourful illustrations, stories and activities. Thirdly, the child gets to bring the materials home so she can revisit what she’s learned from the week’s lesson, thereby solidifying the learning and keeping the interest alive, at least till the next week where she gets to read another story, meet new characters and work on different activities.

Who would have thought we could learn Math this way? I’d thought my counting lessons were quite fun, but I have to admit that Becks is having a fun-ner time at Eye Level, and I’m really glad that she was invited to attend lessons there for a term (hurray for the opportunity to outsource!).

Note to self: must.find.more.creative.ways.to.teach! but until then, thank you, Eye Level Learning Center for the kind invitation!

AND JUST FOR MOTHERKAO READERS:

Eye Level is extending a promotional offer to all Motherkao readers! For $10 (usual price $60), your child can take the diagnostic test, attend a trial lesson (30-45 min) and get a complimentary study skill analysis.

Eye Level $10 voucher

Simply quote [Motherkao] to enjoy this offer via walk-in to any of the Eye Level Learning Centres island-wide. You can also leave a Facebook message on Eye Level’s Facebook Page or make a telephone enquiry to any of the Eye Level centres.

Disclosure: Ben and Becks have been invited to attend Eye Level’s Math and Play Math for a term of three months. Motherkao has accepted sponsorship for her reviews of their programmes and endorsement of the centre. All opinions here are Motherkao’s own (with input from Becks).

(Self) Examination Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up The real supermom

Is it you, January?

January 10, 2014
Exhausted...

Exhausted…

It’s only the second week of January and I’m already suffocating. Every day has been crazy, crazy, crazy with two preschoolers and a toddler needing attention, wanting to learn and all pumped up from 7 to 9 wanting to play / mess up the house / clown around. That plus I’m no longer just stay-at-home-home-teaching-mom. I’m also now work-at-home-mom, getting-ready-to-start-a-business-mom and adjunct-lecturer-mom. This year, we’re prepping to finally start something we’ve wanted to do for the longest time (and that is draining a lot from me mentally) and I’m also going to doing a short stint lecturing at a post-grad institution.

This is supposed to be exciting, but I’m kinda bummed that blogger-mom (or is it mom-blogger) has to be ranked at the bottom of my long list of duties and responsibilities. And since the blog is ultimately about the kids and for the kids, it just doesn’t make sense to be drafting blog posts while they languish like attention-deprived kids needing the mom presence.

As it is, it’s been pretty challenging to try to home teach them fruitfully, chauffeur them around to kindy, enrichment (we are only at Berries and kindly sponsored by Eye Level), and all the what-nots like parties, events and gatherings, PLUS prepare work for the business and for the adjunct teaching stint (readings, grading, lesson prep – I’m with adult learners this time!). That in addition to doing grocery runs and playgroup runs thrice a week, trying to plan for special time with each individual kid, and spending time to do things with the littlest one who is growing up really fast (and not leaving him with the helper all the time). I do have so much to share about the activities we do homelearning together and the things that have worked for us (I’ve not forgotten my Teaching the Kao Kids Series!) but most days I just want to immerse myself in learning together with them and not think about photos and posts to publish while I’m with the kids.

Having said that, I know that 2014 is going to be another excitingly fun year for all of us, and there is much to be thrilled about. I will share as much as I can and rant as much I need whenever I need a sanity break, I promise.

Here’s to an awesomely glorious 2014 where moms like you and me develop MORE super powers!

...And trying to be SUPER!

…And trying to be SUPER!

Happy days Invites & Tryouts Motherkao loves... Reviews

Frumpy no more, thanks to Salon Vim

January 7, 2014

When I was working full-time, a good facial, some pretty work clothes and a new hairdo were mandatory items on my to-do list before I started a new year at work. As a stay home mum, these things are luxury.

Just so you know, I haven’t had a haircut in a year. 

No money anyway, no time anyway, nobody’s gonna be looking anyway. It’s sad, but I tell you it’s really easy for a mom consumed by motherhood to think this way all the time.

Turns out God was more interested in the way I looked than I was about myself. Before the year ended, I was invited by Salon Vim by Chez Vous to review their services and try out anything I wanted.

Say what? Try anything I want? All I need is a haircut! Somebody trim those split ends please!

So I excused myself from mom duties last evening, headed down to 313@Somerset, plonked myself on the Salon Vim chair and told them that it’s been a year. A good long year. The good folks at the salon fussed over me, made sure I was comfortable and listened attentively to my complaining and requests: I need hair easy to maintain – I hate my flat hair – I only have 10 minutes to shower on most days – Please don’t cut it too short I don’t want to shock the kids – blah blah blah…

And then the stylists decided. They would give me a hair makeover which would still be easy to maintain and rid the flatness in my hair. I wouldn’t need more than 10 minutes in the shower and I would return home to wow the kids, not shock them, they promised.

Before the hair makeover

Before the hair makeover

So I got a hair cut, a L’oreal X-tenso soft perm and the latest hair colour trend known as Sombré, a technique that allows for a softer, more natural diffusion of colours fading gradually from top to bottom (I had my base in warm brown and the highlights in very light iridescent golden brown.) All these while sipping a nice warm drink, chitchatting with friendly people that came to work on my hair and flipping pages of the latest fashion mags, something which I haven’t done for a long time.

And this was what they did...

And this was what they did…

Check out the new hairdo!

Check out the new hairdo!

Talk about pampering your tresses. Last night was my night!

I’m very impressed by the professionalism displayed by the folks at Salon Vim by Chez Vous and their energy, drive and excellent service. The senior stylist that attended to me was meticulous, attentive and extremely knowledgeable. He would explain to me what he was doing, how I could take better care of my hair and accommodate my every request. It was past 9 pm when the colouring was done and it was time for everyone to go home but he – Ymond, that’s his name if you need a referral – wanted to take the pampering further still, and asked if I would like to stay for a 40-minute hair treatment!

A picture with Ymond Chin, the senior stylist behind my new look

A picture with Ymond Chin, the senior stylist behind my new look

I couldn’t wait to get home to the kids and so that hair treatment would have to wait for another time. Till then, I had myself a wonderful evening styled and pampered by the most professional of people, so thank you Salon Vim by Chez Vous for the new look and for making over this mother who would otherwise continue to look frumpy in 2014!

And just for Motherkao readers! Here’s a discount code for you:

If you’re looking to un-frumpify yourself (did I just coin a new word again? hurhur) with a hair cut / new look / some Sombré highlights or simply want some me-time to be pampered, Salon Vim by Chez Vous is taking 10% off your bill for any hair services with them when you quote <Motherkao blog>. Limited to first time Salon Vim customers only.

Salon Vim by Chez Vous is at 313@Somerset and you can call +65 6884 7757 | +65 6884 776 for any appointment. Connect with Salon Vim on their Facebook Page to see their latest creations and styles and get inspired. Hey, just in time for the Lunar New Year too!

Disclosure: I was invited to Salon Vim to try out their services for the purposes of this review. No monetary compensation was received for this post and opinions here are my own, but I sure was spoiled silly for four hours with all that stuff that was done to make over my tresses. That, plus I also got to take home some L’oreal products to care for my hair and a brand new look!

(Self) Examination Happy days Milestones and growing up

Last post of the year

December 30, 2013

It’s the eve of New Year’s Eve’s and the pensive button is on. As per custom, I always do a good lot of reflecting during this time.

As I gather my thoughts and steady myself to move ahead for the new year, I can’t help but be filled with a heart of gratitude for the wonderfulness that made up the year 2013. This has been an awesome year even though I was mentally prepared for an insanely horrible one. I mean, I had grand plans to achieve a lot more in my career and to continue developing myself as an educator but Life would have it that we made the decision to go on one income and that I stay home as a full-time mother (nightmare enough for me already at the beginning!).

So the story of the year was practically about the journey of a mother struggling to grapple with staying home with three kids growing up all too quickly for her to handle.

And yet – and yet – the journey’s been filled with so much sweetness and fond memories that I am too embarrassed to be found complaining. Yes, it’s been challenging. Yes, it’s so much tougher than being at work. Yes, it took a greater toll on my health than I had imagined. Yes, I lived every day on the brink of insanity. Yes, if you’d ask me now if I enjoy staying home I would still be hesitant to say yes. But amidst all these, I’ve had the opportunity to live, laugh (and cry) and love every single day of 2013 that I would never trade for anything else in this world. No, not even for a day of peace and quiet at work. Not even if you whisked me off to a spa and pamper me silly (though that would be nice). I can’t even begin to imagine what precious moments I would miss. And I wouldn’t want to miss any of them.

The Year in Review 1

The Year in Review 2

This year, I’ve watched all three of my children grow. I’ve watched them learn. And I’ve watched them play. And at 4, 3 and 1.5 years old, they are together every day, playing, learning and laughing together. There’s the frequent fighting and squabbling, in addition to lots of kicking, smacking and quibbling. And yet it’s all together awesome to be in their lives at this point in time, watching them build their relationship with one another and building my relationship with each one of them.

The Year in Review 3

The Year in Review 4

Of all the years in my life, 2013 was my most meaningful.

I’m truly grateful that 2013 was a year worth living and one I would gladly relive if I had to. It was crazy, yes, it was; but it was all worth it. I did nothing great but I lived every day being mother to the children that God has blessed me with, and that to me is the most meaningful thing I can ever do. I’m hoping 2014 would be the same, and better.

I hope you had an awesomely meaningful 2013. Happy New Year, everyone!

Christmas happiness Enrichment Going Out! Learning fun! Motherkao loves...

Oh December, you were too short

December 29, 2013

December has got to be the shortest month in the year. Time always flies whenever we’re having fun.

This December, we made some really beautiful memories together. Memories of the wet, dramatic and crafty kind.

In the first week of December, Ben and Becks were invited by Little Harvard International Preschool to join their ‘Christmas Crackers’ Speech and Drama Holiday Programme. We were told that the programme would be conducted by Daniel Jenkins, one of the executive directors of The Little Company and associate assistant directors at the SRT. I’ve heard of the name Daniel Jenkins in the theatre circles for a long time, and know that he’s a legend in his own right. I couldn’t wait for Ben and Becks to meet him and learn from him, and so to Little Harvard International Preschool at Jalan Gelenggang we went for the Speech and Drama Holiday Programme every morning for four days.

And I have to say, this was the best holiday programme we’ve ever attended. Ben and Becks loved it so much, they were ready and raring to go every morning. They absolutely loved Daniel Jenkins, or ‘Teacher Dan’ as the kids address him (or the uncle with the grey hair, as Becks endearingly call him). He makes them laugh, he plays fun games with them, they do craft together and get to pretend to be elves and reindeer. And he does that every day to the point they lament the fun at class is too short and wish they could go back for speech and drama “every day forever”, or so Ben says.

They were no tears, no need for long and sad goodbyes every morning when they were dropped off for the programme. And it was so wonderful I got two-half hours of me time for a few days!

For four days, they learned songs, did craft and practised for a mini concert on the last day. Every child got to play elf, reindeer, fairy or snowman, and all of them helped Santa spread the Christmas cheer!

So, I was really glad it was a drop off programme!

So, I was really glad it was a drop off programme!

It was indeed amazing to see Ben stand confidently, deliver lines and get into his role as an elf. And even more amazing to see Becks do the same. You’re talking about Becks, who’s almost always too shy to greet a person with confidence. She was one happy bouncy reindeer at the performance!

Introducing Ben the Elf, with his two other elf friends

Introducing Ben the Elf, with his two other elf friends

And Reindeer Becks who would be helping Santa with his sleigh

And Reindeer Becks who would be helping Santa with his sleigh

LittleHarvard_Christmas Crackers Performance 1

The children sing, “Here comes Christmas our favourite time of the year!”

LittleHarvard_Christmas Crackers Performance 2

And do a “Ho Ho Ho!” with a huge leap in the air!

And best of all, it got the kids excited about Christmas, this being the first week of December. With their craft work, we got decorations up and an elf and reindeer in the house all ready to spread the Christmas cheer. What an awesome job Daniel Jenkins did, and I must say, he’s really a legend indeed!

Everyone, meet the legendary Daniel Jenkins

Everyone, meet the legendary Daniel Jenkins

On the second week, the kids were also invited to Artz Graine, a leading arts studio, for their Art Eureka Holiday Programme. In the hour they were there, they made Christmas stockings to put up so that Santa can leave some presents in them.

Of course, these kids are too smart to know that Santa doesn’t exist and their stockings are too small for any presents.

Artz Graine Christmas Stockings

But all in the name of good fun and just cos’ it’s Christmas!

Our family also headed to Festive Hotel for a staycation on the third week of December. I’ve heard so much about the hotel’s deluxe family suite and when I chanced upon a 50% offer on the room rates, I had the suite – complete with a pull-out sofa bed for two, a loft bed and a king-sized bed – booked immediately. My favourite parts of the staycation had to be eating at Chili’s and spending the morning exploring the Hard Rock Hotel’s poolside that had water play features, a child-friendly slide, a jacuzzi and an entire area filled with the finest Australian beach sand.

There's nothing not to love at the Hard Rock Hotel's Poolside!

There’s nothing not to love at the Hard Rock Hotel’s Poolside!

The kids are into getting wet now and not as fearful of spraying water features and wading pools as they were before, so it was all very fun, fun, fun!

Two days of swimming at the Festive Hotel Pool and the ones at Hard Rock Hotel

Two days of swimming at the Festive Hotel Pool and the ones at Hard Rock Hotel

And just when we thought we’ve gotten enough of getting wet, Port of Lost Wonder at Sentosa sent us an invitation for a day of getting wet and to join them in their Christmas Joy activities.

Our tickets to fun at Port of Lost Wonder

Our tickets to fun at Port of Lost Wonder

Oh how we missed you, POLW!

Oh how we missed you, POLW!

We had ourselves another crazily fun, wet day at POLW, running around and in and out of the huge pirate ship, making Christmas candles and gingerbread cookies when we wanted a break from the spewing waters, and running around and in and out of the huge pirate ship again when we were done exploring the various activity stations.

Making Christmas candles

Making Christmas candles

We made some gingerbread cookies for our snack!

We made some gingerbread cookies for our snack!

We all got a couple of sun kisses that day, but hey, we ain’t complaining cos’ God gave such beautiful weather to play!

Lovely weather to play all day

Lovely weather to play all day

And to end the month on a sweet note, we had the most awesome Christmas party with the awesomest of company. They came, we ate (or rather, pigged out) and carolled. So spontaneously and melodiously.

P/S to my friends: So I wasn't allowed to put on youtube to make you all overnight singing sensations but you guys didn't say anything about being on my blog. Haha. Everyone's sketched so you shouldn't be too recognizable, yes?

P/S to our friends: So I wasn’t allowed to put you all on youtube to make you  overnight singing sensations but you guys didn’t say anything about being on my blog. Haha. Here’s the only picture I have of everyone singing.

And so ever happily. We are truly grateful for such wonderful friends and family in our lives.

December was NO WORK, ALL PLAY. One can never get enough of December!

(Self) Examination Invites & Tryouts

Getting in focus

December 27, 2013

When my three-year-old visited me at the hospital after I delivered my third baby, he innocently asked, “Um, Mama are you sure there’s only one baby? There should be another one, right?”

When I told him there wasn’t, he looked puzzled. He pointed to my tummy and asked, “Then why is your stomach still so big?”

Even after his littlest brother turned one, Ben would still turn to me to ask “Is there another baby coming?” cos’ that tummy of mine was still looking like I was five months pregnant. It never did manage to flatten itself away till this day.

I did three kids in four years and I never had the opportunity to return to any pre-pregnancy weight nor get back my pre-preggers figure. That’s shaken my self assurance a fair bit. This is the very reason why I stay away from selfies and insist that whoever that takes our photo only just takes face, neck and torso only, and that pictures that are not nice must be deleted and NOT uploaded on any form of social media. Most of the time, I’m just happy to be taking pictures of my kids. They are beautiful, yes, they are. Their Mama? Oh well, nevermind it’s alright.

Sad story, but true.

Developing camera confidence can be a huge challenge for a mother of three who’s practically lost her figure after three pregnancies and deliveries. That, and also the fact that full-time mothering demands so much from you that you’re perpetually looking haggard. Hands up if you who have spotted skin, uneven tones and new wrinkles carving into your face every day circling those sleep-deprived eyes like me.

And it’s no wonder that most women, like me, shy away from the camera the moment someone tries to snap a shot of us unexpectedly.  As we get older, we start to say no more and more to having our pictures or videos taken. If you don’t believe me, watch this video.

When did we stop thinking we’re beautiful?

I suspect we’ve conditioned ourselves, as we age, to think that we are not as beautiful as we used to be. “Getting old lah,” we say. “Don’t take my picture ah!” And we look away when we learn that we are being videoed or photographed.

We are our worst critics, I say. We are more beautiful than we think, but we just don’t want to think that.

According to the Dove Global Research, 63% of women have destroyed a photo in which they didn’t like how they looked, and 65% of women also say that having their photo taken or uploaded makes them more anxious about their looks. I used to belong to both groups, clearly in the category of those lacking camera confidence. I have to admit I was feeling and thinking the crappiest of myself for the longest time after having three kids and being consumed by full-time motherhood.

But there are steps to take to help un-crappify yourself (did I just coin a word?), as I’ve learned, so that you can feel confident even though nothing in your world is perfect. Yes, even if there are freckles on the face, hair that’s not been cut for months (heh, that’s me) and fats wobbling like jelly all around. But the bigger picture is this: if you choose not to freeze that moment in time (especially if they are precious growing up years of beautiful memories with the kids), it’s gone forever, you know.

So I say, it’s back to the basics with A SMILE, GOOD POSTURE AND GRATITUDE.

You’ll definitely have a sense of self-worth and positivity if you wear a smile, stand tall and have thanksgiving in your heart. Do that enough and I’m sure regardless of age or appearance, you wouldn’t find any reason to be covering your face when the camera starts rolling.

I may have less than a flat tummy and lots of cellulite all around, but with gratefulness in my heart for being blessed with a beautiful family, I think I’ll always remember to stand straight and tall, and to smile whenever there’s a chance to be captured for a moment in time.

Motherkao and the Kao kids

Will you do that too?

This post is sponsored by Dove. Dove is committed to creating a world where beauty is a source of confidence, not anxiety and hopes to inspire all women to reach their full beauty potential by caring for themselves and each other. 

Visit www.DoveCameraConfidence.com to draw inspiration from ten ordinary women who overcame their camera shyness at the Dove’s Camera Confidence Workshop. You will also get a chance to learn from the experts on how to be more camera confident simply by sending them your questions on the site.

I can't categorise such entries Motherkao loves...

The reason why these kpop stars would feature in a parenting blog like mine

December 26, 2013

the heirs wallpaper

And I’m back with regular programming!

Can I just say this before I resume blogging about motherhood and all the other kids stuff?

Kdrama is like CRACK! Gawd’, every day my entire being just screams MORE MORE MORE! Funnily, my addiction to Kdrama these past few days was more of a ginormous craving to read and read (and read some more) this witty, hilarious and clever blog that has all (I mean EVERY SINGLE KOREAN DRAMA there is on the face of this earth) the drama recaps, reviews and commentaries called DramaBeans. Boy, discovering it was like uncovering intellectual gold. I mean, it’s really such a priceless, precious commodity that one can ever mine in this vast unlimited space of the internet. Where else on the world wide web can you find such detailed minute by minute recaps complete with acutely brilliant commentaries deconstructing K-pop culture and dramas like you would get in an intensely intellectually gratifying prac-crit -like Lit tutorial? I mean, the people at DramaBeans practically just dissect and explain every single scene, trope, convention and dialogue so you  can plunge into dramaland so readily, easily and most happily, I would say.

I love dramas for the better part of my life before the kids came. Even after the kids came, I continued watching, albeit intermittently. I am a huge critic and I love to watch dramas just so I can expound the intricacies in plot development and characterisation, dig at inconsistencies, the flaws in logic and the casting and scripting. I watch mostly Asian dramas from Hong Kong, Mainland China and Taiwan. I am a huge fan of TVB serials but as TVB dramas gradually began to disappoint (they keep getting weirder and cornier – Bullet Train, Triumph in the Skies II, Bounty Lady), I found myself angry with myself for wasting so much precious sleep time to stay up to catch them. Meaningless, as my husband would say, when I have clearly other priorities – namely sleep.

And for so long I kept myself away from Korean drama, largely because the earlier ones before the huge K-wave were way too s-l-o-w and their dialogues too boring. I wasn’t quite ready to join the Kpop mania yet (and I’m already too late, I guess) until the recent TVB dramas proved to be a huge waste of my time. Then I decided that Kdrama might stand a chance in rekindling my love for dramas in that they might just allow me to be drawn into their solid offerings to keep me entertained via suspenseful plot developments, strong onscreen chemistry, clever wordplay, powerful acting and goosebump-inducing melodrama. And so in the name of needing to unwind and escape, I searched Azdrama and was happy to find playful banter, good chemistry and tight plot development in the two Lee Min-ho dramas I caught when I signed off for my well-deserved break last week. (Ok, I actually cheated and didn’t finish Boys Before Flowers, the drama I had so wanted to watch back in 2009. Which is also the year I had my first kid. I read the recaps of BBF, which made me lol harder and louder instead. The other one I caught was Heirs, which made me drool a little with their charismatic cast, huge played up tension, subtexts and melodramatic rich boy-poor girl romance.)

I am now one happy addict!

Or perhaps, was would be more accurate, cos’ it’s time to go through the withdrawal symptoms and move onwards for next year with full-time motherhood and more things on my plate! But heh, I’ll never know when I might just succumb to that drama crack again.

P/S: No Kao kid was harmed in the few days their mom was on drama crack. They were given 40% Nick Jr, 20% Lego Duplo free play, 10% self-directed learning activities, 10% reading time and 20% random pretend play time. Drama crack mom squeezed in all the viewing when having private time in the bathroom, while nursing the littlest to sleep and patting the second one at tuck-in, and walking around the house in earphones. That, plus going with very little sleep.

Becks Kao Ben Kao Enrichment Invites & Tryouts Learning fun! Reviews

Learning the Eye Level way

December 14, 2013

When I received an invitation from Eye Level to learn more about their programmes, I almost wrote back to say that my children did not have myopia (thank God!) and wouldn’t be needing programmes to help them improve their eyesight.

I mean, a place called Eye Level must have something to do with helping children tackle their vision woes, no?

Clearly, I was mistaken. And boy was I glad not to let my assumptions get the better of me.

Prior to their international rebranding last year, Eye Level Learning Center was widely known as E-nopi. Eye Level is a leading enrichment education provider that has its origins from South Korea and operates in 15 different countries with over 2.5 million students. It has established a significant presence here in Singapore since 2011 with 9 centres around the island and an enrolment of over 900 students providing enrichment in the areas of Mathematics and English for children between the ages of 4 and 14.

Eye Level holds steadfast to the educational principle of seeing things from a student’s perspective – hence, eye level. The name is inspired by a story about a teacher who was found kneeling down to look up at every painting he saw at the Smithsonian Museum in Washington DC. His reason for appreciating art on his knees? He was an elementary school teacher and would be bringing his students to the museum the next day, so he wanted to know how they would enjoy every painting from where they stood.

At Eye Level, students learn at their own pace and are taught the invaluable skill of self-directed learning. Programmes are systematic and individualised to cater to each child’s learning needs and abilities, and customised using their unique methods of teaching and learning.

I was really curious how this would all translate into actual mastery of skills and concepts for my preschoolers, and since I almost never say no to outsourcing (a tired home-teaching mom also needs a break, yes?), the Kao kids (Ben and Becks) and I accepted their invitation to find out more about what this enrichment centre has to offer. The teacher in me also badly needed to know how it’s possible to get my three- and four-year-old to do self-directed learning.

We visited the Eye Level Learning Center at City Square Mall which I have walked past several times thinking it was an optometry shop with a designated play area for kids (yea, I thought that was really cool). What I immediately liked about the place: the environment was bright and cheery, and space appeared to be well maximised. I liked the bright colours, the fact that it wasn’t claustrophobia-inducing like some learning centres I see in some malls, and the cosy play area outside the centre with math games and English books that were within reach. The classrooms were spacious and the environment looked inviting enough for a child to sit down to learn.

Eye level exterior environment

Eye level interior environment

I learned also that there’s a lot of flexibility and individualised learning taking place in each classroom. At Eye Level, there is no structured lesson where the teacher conducts teacher-talk. The uniqueness in their programme lies in the quality of their materials and the fact that each student’s learning is customised for them by the levels determined by these materials (more on that in another post). The student turns up for the time slot he or she has chosen every week (or twice a week) to complete the assigned work with a certified instructor who would then guide and provide feedback. This means that a range of students of different ages can be in the same classroom but the students are all doing different assignments acquiring different skills and concepts. There would be no more than 8 students for the older age group in a class at one time but students as young as Becks (3 years old) would usually get one-to-one attention.

What is also interesting is that there is also no fixed duration for each lesson. Every week, work is assigned (with a skill / concept to master) and the child will be trained to do self-directed learning (with guidance from the instructor available) according to his or her own pace. The activities in the materials are designed to be completed in an hour, but there is no rule that says the student has to leave after one hour or stay till the hour is up. Each lesson is flexible in that it follows the child’s pace, and keeps the big picture in mind: that the student has a concept / skill to learn and that the objective of the lesson is that the student learns it well no matter how long it takes.

Ben and Becks enrolled in Eye Level’s Math Programme and Play Math Progamme respectively early this December after taking their diagnostic tests (that is why you are seeing pictures of them in the classrooms!), and I am pleased to be taking on ambassadorship for Eye Level and to be sharing with you more about Eye Level, come next year. I will also be writing updates on the Kao kids’ progress, as well as show you a glimpse of some of Eye Level’s very excellently designed learning materials.

The kids have gone for two lessons now, and so far, it’s been something they look forward to this holidays. They are, surprisingly, getting very proactive in their learning, which I’m glad for, and picking up some mathematical concepts which is otherwise quite difficult to learn from their math-dumb mom (another post, another time about my inability to handle numbers). We’re all looking forward to more meaningful learning next year, so do watch this space!

Eye Level for Ben and Becks

Eye Level for Ben and Becks 2

More details:

For more on Eye Level’s Math and English Programmes, visit their website or connect with them on their Facebook page. To find an Eye Level Learning Center near you, check out the locations of their centres here.

AND JUST FOR MOTHERKAO READERS:

Eye Level is extending a promotional offer to all Motherkao readers! For $10 (usual price $60), your child can take the diagnostic test, attend a trial lesson (30-45 min) and get a complimentary study skill analysis.

Eye Level $10 voucher

Simply quote [Motherkao] to enjoy this offer via walk-in to any of the Eye Level Learning Centers island-wide. You can also leave a Facebook message on Eye Level’s Facebook Page or make a telephone enquiry to any of the Eye Level centres.

Disclosure: Ben and Becks have been invited to attend Eye Level’s Math and PlayMath for a term of three months. Motherkao has accepted sponsorship for her reviews of their programmes and endorsement of the centre. All opinions here are Motherkao’s own (with input from the two Kao kids).