Last weekend, my baby boy signed me up for a weightloss programme called “detoxification by gastric flu”.
The programme involved an intensive period of throwing up and diarrhea-ing, and taking nothing at all the whole day, except for the occasional sips of water.
It all began when Baby Nat first started having loose green stools and throwing up on Thursday, and fatherkao starting to feel unwell on Friday. I was trying to keep the house in order that evening, which was a mean feat with one adult down, and by Friday night after tucking the kids in bed, I was deciding if I should camp near the toilet for the night or bury my head in the toilet bowl permanently. By Saturday morning, the helper started to feel woozy too and by late afternoon, Becks also started having the runs. With the adults all down, a fussy infant and two tods needing attention, both fatherkao and I dialed 1800-CALL-A-MOM.
Help arrived in the form of a pint-sized woman who made sure that the older kids were fed, bathed and entertained, and the baby was taken care of; and more importantly, that the sickly big ones in the house were undisturbed. She patiently constructed Lego with the kids, read them story after story, sat next to them while they coloured their boredom away. She brought them to the playground when the sun came out and brushed their teeth, cleaned them up and tucked them in when the sun set. She cooed the baby and carried him all day long so that his fussing was minimal and I wouldn’t need to keep getting up to nurse the baby. Fatherkao and I slept in the whole of Saturday, and I felt as if I repaid a three-year sleep debt since Ben was born. I have not stayed in bed for so long ever since I brought my first baby home from the hospital.
On Sunday, I woke up to a house in order. My fridge was stocked with food and groceries, my children’s nails were cut, and my daughter’s hair was trimmed. The helper was also given instructions to prepare a nutritious meal of soup with fresh pomfret for lunch.
This weightloss programme has helped me shed three kilos effectively. To sign up, simply head on down to any children’s clinic while the gastric flu season is on.