Ben Kao I can't categorise such entries

I Swear

March 10, 2016

I didn’t think I would see this day so soon but I did.

It’s only Term 1 Week 10 of the first year of formal schooling and at Primary One, my son has officially picked up a few of those swear words which I would never want to hear come out from his mouth.

And since this blog is a family-friendly blog, I can only say that my world came crashing down when I found out my son’s learned some filthy words that rhyme with bell and luck.

Actually, I was rather relieved he didn’t say them; I found them written as speech bubbles as part of a comic creation (phew). Ever since he’s started school, he’s begin to like comics, particularly the Plants vs. Zombies series (I have never heard of it at all), and he’s also been hearing all sorts of stuff from boys on the school bus (the ones older than him, for sure).

My turn to swear now.

Dammit, school bus.


To be honest, I didn’t think that this was going to affect me so hard. I thought I’d be that kind of cool mom who would say, ‘Hey son, don’t use those words ok? They just make you look uncool instead of cool, so just be the gentleman that you are, ok?’ 

But instead I broke down. I blamed myself for going back to full-time-crazy-entrepreneurship-hours and not being able to ferry my kids to and from school and it’s all my fault for making him take the school bus.  I just couldn’t stop sobbing in front of my son who probably had no idea how serious it was to use those words since the Primary 6 boys use it like punctuation every single day and why writing them down as part of what a skeleton pirate comic drawing would say is any reason why his mother should cry.

Oh gosh, I was one ball of a mess that evening.

And so after all that shock I got, Ben hugged me, pat me on the head and said he was sorry, and before he could say more, I broke down again and in between sobs reminded him that he was my champion, my sensible boy, my gentleman and he should never in any way think it’s cool to swear like an older kid.

Deep down, I was reminding myself to let go and trust God because we have been present parents to raise him – and I hope we are doing a fine job at that despite our shortcomings.

And can I also say I am super glad for a very supportive husband and a very present and involved father who believes in talking things through and hearing our children out. He’s that kind of person who would always listen and not jump, while I am quite the opposite.

To me, it was like the end of the world. To him, it’s normal and part of growing up. And taking the school bus.

Still, it was a big deal that’s left a mark on a page of my mothering history that day. I swear that if my son ever swears again, I might really go bonkers. Please come by then and comfort me and tell me it’s ok.

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  • Reply Wendy Lee March 12, 2016 at 11:31 PM

    I think the hardest part of hearing your children start to use swear words is the realization that it means they’re growing up. They realize early on that “those words” are (apparently) for adults only, since we’ll say them but if they say them back we scold them. Then one day they start to say them anyway, supposedly because they’ve deemed themselves old enough to do so, and it’s just like… damn, when did they get so grown up?

    We just want our kids to remain our innocent little angels forever.

    • Reply MotherKao March 27, 2016 at 3:21 PM

      Agree, so totally agree, Wendy!

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