Milestones and growing up Archives - Page 17 of 19

Becks Kao Ben Kao Everyday fun! Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up

“Your mother here. Over.”

October 14, 2012

There’s a new calm in the house lately. I’ve stopped shouting and barking orders in the house. I think my children are also happier without the yelling.

My husband bought me a set of walkie-talkie.

There’s something about speaking through the walkie-talkie. You don’t scream into it. You stay composed. You speak slowly and clearly. And you say “over” when you are done in a cool, collected way.

“Ben, come to the kitchen now for your vitamins. Over.”

“Aunty M, please make milk for the children. Over.”

“Becks, I want you to come back to the room. Now. Over.”

No more yelling. No more “COME OUT AND PACK YOUR TOYS THEN GO DRINK YOUR MILK AND STOP JUMPING ON THE BED — AND DO I HAVE TO SAY A MILLION TIMES DON’T YOU THROW MY PILLOWS AND BLANKET ON THE FLOOR WATCH IT YOUR BABY BROTHER IS NEXT TO YOU PUULEAZZE YOU GUYS JUST COME OUT AND PACK UP!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!”

You just can’t do that over a walkie-talkie. It’s not cool.

Over.

8 Comments

Becks Kao Ben Kao Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

Say “aah” and let me feed you

October 11, 2012

My kids are now in the phase of wanting to shove food into your mouth. They like to feed you with whatever they’re eating, and with whatever you’re eating.

So just the other day at the dinner table, Becks was her usual fussy self. She didn’t want to finish her rice. She gagged looking at her veggies. She refused to clean up her chicken wings. All she wanted to do was to give me her unfinished food.

Me: No thank you, my dear. I want to eat my own food, and I want to feed myself.

She then looked at her father with those big round eyes, and asked, “Dada, I feed you your dinner, ok?”

Fatherkao: Ok, princess. You can feed me but I want to eat from my plate, not yours.

Just like that, she got away with not finishing her food. She started scooping rice and soup for her father and made him say “aah” everytime she was ready with a helping.

My eldest saw them having so much fun and asked if he could feed me my dinner. Being ravenously hungry, I declined his offer and told him to finish what’s on his plate. He proceeded to sulk for the longest time and tried to convince me to let him feed me, like how his sister was feeding fatherkao.

Me: No. My answer is no. You finish your food and stop copying your sister.

Ben: (starting to sob) But I want to feed you…

Fatherkao: Just let him do it. The next time he does it, you’ll be eighty years old, dear.

And just like that, he got away with not finishing his food. And I had the longest dinner of my life. I sat at the table and watched him scoop my dinner, bit by bit, shoving in mouthful by mouthful. That night, I realised that it ain’t such a big deal that they can’t finish whatever’s on their plate; but it is a big deal if I missed out this wave of TLC and have to wait fifty years for the next one.

5 Comments

Becks Kao Ben Kao Learning fun! Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

Animal madness!

October 9, 2012

It’s been noisy in the house lately. The Kaos are officially living in an animal farm.

He led the others with his “quack quack quack”.

She’s the little monkey jumping on the bed.

One little monkey jumping on the bed.
She fell off and bumped her head.
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
“No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

Six little ducks that I once knew

Fast ones, skinny ones, fair ones too.

But the one little duck with the feather on his back

He led the others with his quack, quack, quack.

Quack, quack, quack-quack, quack, quack

He led the others with his quack, quack, quack.

Down to the river they would go.

Wibble wobble, wibble wobble to and fro.

But the one little duck with the feather on his back

He led the others with a quack, quack, quack.

0 Comments

Going Out! Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

Not ready for a vacation YET

October 8, 2012

I don’t know why we do it again and again. Ever since the kids came along, we no longer go to get refreshed and recharged. Instead, we’d always feel more drained and tired.

There was even once I attempted to do it without the domestic helper — in the name of “more quality time” with the kids. Who was I kidding? Fatherkao and I were totally bummed after that one.

I’m talking about going for a staycation.

We have a membership going on with the Copthorne chain of hotels and decided to redeem our complimentary night stay last weekend at Grand Copthorne Waterfront to celebrate Children’s Day. Of course, we had to book another connecting room to make sure everyone could sleep comfortably.

Now, a staycation with three kids in tow is like a simulation exercise for a family holiday. With every staycation, I learn to a) pack better, b) shush my kids up quicker for fear of the hotel management knocking at my door, and c) occupy them with available resources in the most creative way possible. Last weekend’s exercise had a new quickfire challenge: the baby was having a cold and a mild fever — so I had to pack medicine, nasal sprays and my mucus shisha, and made sure he was carried and snugged all the time so he wouldn’t be crying the hotel down. Then it poured on Friday afternoon and Saturday morning, so we couldn’t check out the swimming pool and were stuck in two hotel rooms for the whole time. We had dinner, breakfast and lunch at Cafe Brio’s and only managed to take a short walk down Robertson Quay on Friday night when the skies cleared, but had to hurry back because my daughter decided to poop as she walked. Throughout the stay, the kids just ran from room to room, played with curtains and jumped on the beds, “swam” in a tub of warm water, while I nursed a cold and fatherkao watched movies on the iPad.

Every staycation just leaves us with the conclusion that we are not ready to fly and travel as a family yet; and we probably need more practice like this one before we go.

Till the next simulation.

8 Comments

Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids The real supermom What to Expect... As a Mother

Bye bye sleep training, bring on co-sleeping

September 11, 2012

The marriage bed has lost its sanctity. I thought I could preserve it, but alas. I have also officially lost the battle in sleep training.

Everyone’s now on our bed, in our room, every night; while fatherkao sleeps alone in the children’s room. So much for buying fancy bunk beds and cartoon bedsheets. For the kids, it’s not what they sleep on, but who they sleep with that matters.

So for a while now, we’re all sleeping in the master bedroom. Tuck-ins start at 9pm. Baby’s on my chest, Ben’s on my left and Becks is on my right. They fall asleep after a lot of nagging and threatening (of Mr Cane coming) from me.

We’ve managed to squeeze a toddler bed from IKEA and a toddler mattress on the floor in the master bedroom to accommodate everyone, so by 10pm when they all fall asleep, I shift everyone into position: Ben sleeps on the floor, Becks sleeps on the bed next to mine, and I sleep with the baby. Like this:

But with this arrangement, I shuttle around the room every night on a three hourly basis on good nights and an hourly basis on bad ones.

12am: Ben discovers he is alone on the floor. He gets up and cries. I awake (usually with great annoyance) and pat him to sleep in the little corner where his mattress is. On good nights, he sleeps through and gets over the fact the mother-presence is a metre away. On bad ones, he wakes up again and crawls onto the bed to search for my armpit and snuggles under it. Don’t ask me why. I think he feels very tucked in and safe under it.

2.39am: Baby Nat stirs and looks for the mother-presence, usually with his rooting reflex in full gear, ready to suckle for comfort. I indulge his bad, bad habit. Since going to infantcare, he has had the sniffles frequently and my heart has been broken so many times to see him ill. And so he suckles, left and right and right and left, all night long. And by the way, I do the moving from left to right and right to left – the baby doesn’t.

4.58am: Becks whines and asks for milk. Her night wakings have become less frequent, so on good nights she usually wakes up at this time to ask for milk. Some nights I ignore her and she falls asleep again. Some nights I roll over to her bed and hold her tight and speak to her in a soft voice telling her to wait till it’s “wakey wakey” time. Some nights she badgers till the baby wakes up and Ben starts stirring, and I do a shuttle run and make her milk at the fastest possible speed to stop her from crying the house down. Some nights she gives me hell even before this time with her night terror screams and I’m like running from one corner of the room to the other in a semi-conscious state making sure everyone is ok. During those nights, if they all wake up in shock and can’t go back to sleep, I gather everyone like a mother hen and we all huddle on the bed.

6.20am: Time for motherkao to wake up

My night duty applies for both weekdays and weekends. I’d thought if I delay tuck-ins a little later on weekends, the kids would probably be knocked out and not have me perform this running about in a groggy state, but boy was I wrong about that.

I’m severely sleep deprived. I’m so glad Kai Kai and Jia Jia are coming soon. I hear they are on a ten-year loan from China. Tis’ great cos’ for the next ten years of my life I will bring my kids to the zoo and teach them personification with illustrations: my mother is a panda.

0 Comments

Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

Life’s too short not to…

September 7, 2012

Life’s too short not to be running in the fields

And feeling the dew under the skin on your toes

Life’s too short not to be having a splashing good time

In the rain

Life’s too short not to be making a mess

And then some more

Life’s too short not to be blowing soap bubbles

In a tub full of suds in a room filled with laughter

Life’s too short not to be snuggling a minute more

Together on Mama and Papa’s bed

Life’s too short not to be twirling around

And dancing to another song

Someday, my love, you’ll grow up

And life’s too short to be wishing we’ve done more of these things with you

2 Comments

(Self) Examination Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

How motherhood has changed me

September 5, 2012

When Justina (http://makingmum.blogspot.fr/) invited moms from the SMB group to reflect and share how motherhood has changed us, I was hesitant to answer the call to contribute a guest post for her blog. I mean, motherhood has changed me in so many ways. There’s the lack of sleep, the ability to swallow food whole, and the power of holding everything in, if you know what I mean – from your own pee to the frustration of being driven up the wall the 95th time. And then there’s the I-became-a-more-efficient-and-competent-person kind of change. At least for me, I have bragging rights of being able to nurse an infant, sing lullabies to my toddlers and use my toes to scroll the iPad to read my e-magazine, all at the same time. Motherhood has helped me discover powers I never knew I had, such as the untapped potential of using my toes and elbows to perform many a circus act every day.

Nevertheless, I eventually decided to take up the challenge to do a little bit more reflecting. Three years as a mom is no mean feat. I know I have indeed changed. Perhaps this opportunity to reflect would help me discover what it means to be a mother and who I’ve become today, and to give me a clearer direction on how to soldier on this challenging journey.

And it did. Justina featured me in her blog today. You can read the entry here and join us as we celebrate a month of motherhood. You can also hop around her blog to read other posts by mothers whose lives have been radically changed by just being moms. [Thanks, Jus, for the opportunity].

This post is my most honest piece yet.

***

Before I became a mother, I was a prissy, stuck-up, pain in the ass. I had an attitude. I thought the world of myself and very little of others. I was driven, demanding, and a no-nonsense kind of person.

I did some things I was proud of: I wake-boarded; I scuba-dived. As an undergraduate, I worked at a prestigious lifestyle mag and interned at a dive magazine. My boss sent me to Australia to market his magazine at a dive symposium. I shook hands with cool people from the diving circle. When I got married, I went backpacking with the husband. We travelled to Italy, Vienna, Czech Republic and Hungary. We explored quaint towns, and stayed with the locals and at youth hostels. We made friends from all over the world over beer, coffee and goulash.

I’d like to think I was pretty accomplished before I had kids.

Today, I no longer dive, wakeboard or backpack. I bake. And cook. I change poopy diapers, clean mucous and sing lullabies. Along the motherhood journey, I’ve lost my cool, blown my top, terrified the galls out of them, complained, murmured, and done all of the above on a repeated basis. I’ve failed too many tests of endurance and the willingness to sacrifice. Along the way, I have also crushed them with some of the most horrid things I’ve ever said, and treated them way too impatiently, emotionally and unfairly. In short, of the three years of being mom, I’ve made quite a mess of the whole process.

But I’ve also watched, as the days go by, how my heart is slowly transformed by just being my children’s mother in the everyday. I’d like to think that having gone through three pregnancies, three deliveries and now, mothering three very different, but unique individuals, motherhood has changed me for the better. In the good and the bad of everyday parenting, my children have molded my heart and invited me to experience God in ways deeper than I’ve ever imagined.

Being a mother has taught me that it’s ok to make a mess. I’ve learned to admit my mistakes, deal with my guilt and move on; more quickly and steadily than before I was a mom. I learned that children can be very forgiving. And above all else, I’ve learned that God the Father extends his forgiveness and love ever more readily to me now. He stops me from beating myself up, takes me into His loving arms and tells me “Liz, it’s ok”.

Being a mother has taught me to draw parameters for my anger and to pursue love at all cost. To channel my emotional energy at the right places, for the right things and towards the right people. It’s impossible to be a parent without feeling a host of intense emotions, but it’s definitely possible to lean on His grace to handle the trickier ones. Best of all, God has shown me that as my Heavenly Father, He has pursued me with love at all cost. And as a mother, I have the best example to follow and model after.

Being a mother has taught me what really matters in life. All of a sudden, when you become a mother, you possess the amazing ability to differentiate between futility and priority. I began to realize that life is brief, and that there remains the absolute need to live for the now and to leave an influence and impact so great for my children for the future. So I learned to be more efficient to exchange for more time with them. I learned that character matters. Imparting values matters. Being a better me matters. Ben making funny sounds with his tongue does not. Becks kicking off her shoes in the car does not. The kids making a paper cut-out mess and flinging shreds and gravel from the fish tank into their baby brother’s cot does not. In the grander scheme of things, even though they may be annoying, it’s just futility to be sweating the small stuff.

And last of all, being a mother has taught me to see the beauty in the small things. Where once upon a time I was a way-too-busy-to-smell-the-roses kind of person, today, I’ll give anything to kiss my children’s little feet, stroke their hair and put my finger in their tiny hands. They’ve taught me to stop, take a deep breath, and listen to the ambient sounds: that little sigh, that gurgling chuckle, that inaudible whimper. I’ll put my nose close to Nat’s mouth just so I can take in the smell of his baby breath. I’ll whisper into Ben’s ear just to see him wriggle away, tickled and laughing. And I would peck Becks on her chubby cheek just to watch her break into a coy little grin. I learned that I am mother and I am not too busy to enjoy my children.

In motherhood, I’ve learned to lose my attitude. That attitude. I don’t think I’m so prissy and stuck-up anymore, although it’s really still a journey and I’m very much a piece of work-in-progress. But I wouldn’t change anything. Without my kids, I wouldn’t be who I am today; and I am happier to be me now than me then.

How has motherhood changed me? My children have cut me open. That has allowed God to do something to my heart. They’ve added a profound dimension to my life in which I will continue to discover as long as I am their mother.

Motherhood has made me a better person.

1 Comments

Ben Kao Milestones and growing up Motherkao loves... Nat Kao

You’ll always have a place in my heart

July 31, 2012

These are my boys.

My firstborn and my littlest. Amidst the challenges I’ve been facing with their sister, the middle child, they’ve been the loveliest and most patient to have around. They wait their turn to get Mama, they play by themselves and with each other. Ben, my eldest, always has a smile on his face, a skip in his step and a question to ask. He follows instructions, listens to good reason and shows his love for the people in the house in his own little ways.

Baby Nat has been having a viral infection with a bad combination of mild fever, runny nose and whooping cough. He’s been wakeful every possible hour because it’s been just hard to go to sleep with a cough as bad as his. And yet, he always, always, always has a little grin on his face for anyone who asks how he is doing.

These are the two sweetest babies a mother would ever know.

1 Comments

Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics Thunderstorm days

Terrific Terrible Two

July 25, 2012

These days I’ve been struggling to keep afloat.

While I would like to keep some things that are going on in my life private, I can, however, share how terrible it has been with Becks in her Terrible Two phase. Apart from being grumpy and sullen and constantly challenging authority, my little girl has been smacking her brother, biting him and pulling his hair. She bosses him around and bullies him silly. Even Mr Cane and time-out have no effect on her. On good days, she’d say sorry eventually, but on bad ones, she wouldn’t give a heck whether she was disciplined. Suffice to say, her stubborn streak is certainly driving me up the wall.

I’ll be very honest. On some days, even loving her has been tough. I do love her. And very much for that matter. But when she acts up, it’s just very hard. I’ve lost my patience with her so many times. Her hissy fits and tantrums drain every ounce of energy in me.

I need to keep in mind that she’ll be reading this someday and that this phase shall eventually pass. I sure hope it will be ok soon so that I can stop feeling drained and totally bummed out.