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Becks Kao Ben Kao Family life as we know it Getting all sentimental now Nat Kao The Kao Kids

Letters sealed with love and just a little more

November 26, 2014

I wrote these to my children tonight.

Because?

Because one is learning to read, one is learning to identify simple sight words and one is learning to identify the letters of the alphabet and his favourite things.

Because they never fail to show me how disappointed they are whenever we open the mailbox and nothing is for them.

Because we just read Colin McNaughton’s S.W.A.L.K (Sealed With A Loving Kiss) at bedtime.

Because I know Nat would love to have me draw him a million green triceratops; Becks would love to colour some pretty flowers and Ben would love to be affirmed by my words.

And…

Because Mama has been missing in action this whole week being at work, and she badly needs to tell them how much she loves them.

In a way that means most to them.

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(Self) Examination Family life as we know it Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

Words.

November 22, 2014

To my dearest children,

These days on some mornings, what I see sometimes breaks my heart.

Have I been too harsh? Too unkind? Are you picking up this unkindness from me?

You are all waiting for a chance to pounce on one another.

Go away! Don’t disturb me! Get out! I don’t like you! Why?! What?! I don’t like you! I don’t love you! Ugh! Shut up!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At so young, all of you seem so agitated when things don’t go your way.

I know I have to give all of you room to resolve your conflicts and learn how to navigate your way through friction that’s experienced because you have siblings.

I know I need to give all of you room to grow and understand what one another is like. And to accept one another for who he or she is. Every one is different. How everyone relates to everyone is different. And you have to live everyday learning that the world doesn’t resolve around you, and that there are people around your age here in this family that you would have to live with for a long time.

The moment you wake up, you’re with a brother or a sister, or two brothers for you, Becks. You’re never alone.

And you start your day everyday just learning to share, negotiate, speak up and get along. Yes, I do also know you don’t have a choice.

May I suggest something, my babies? The world is already harsh, cruel and unkind out there. Let’s speak kindness. Let’s choose to love here, at home.

Don’t be too eager to pour out on your siblings what you hear outside or from the adults in your life – we have not been good examples and always wished we could be better. We have been busy, flustered and tired to the bones.

And deep down, we wished we could always have a kind word for you.

So my dears, love one another with your words always. Because one another is all you’ve got. Play together, learn together, navigate through the course of this life together. And if there are disagreements and when things go your way, choose the way of love.

Don’t ever say you don’t love one another, ok?

Let’s not break each other’s hearts here in this family.

Loving all three of you to the moon and back,

Mama

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Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up Reviews The Kao Kids

This Thing About Essential Oils, Part 1: Loving every minute of being oily

November 20, 2014

So this thing about essential oils is quite something. I’ve always had problems inhaling and using store-bought essential oils and aromatherapy products. I’d feel nauseous and get headaches, so you can imagine what a wreck I would be standing in front of those aromatherapy push carts that have multiple diffusers emitting all sorts of vapours. Same goes for entering the fragrance level of departmental stores.

Until I used therapeutic grade essential oils, and the ones from Young Living.

I’m not going to enter into any discussion with anyone regarding the various criticisms and schools of thought with regard to the various companies in the States producing essential oils and their business practices and structures (they are usually MLM). I always think the person with the testimony triumphs over the one with the opinion.

Suffice to say, I trust Young Living because of the company’s ‘seed to seal’ promise and support the founder’s vision of harnessing the potential of essential oils for healing and wellness in unadulterated ways. Until that proves otherwise, of course. As a Christian, I do believe there’s a time and place for oils and medicine and treatment, but Jesus is still our Healer.

The oils are featuring quite a bit in the family and something we’ve all grown to like very much. The kids love a good sole massage with the essential oils before bed and I use Thieves rather regularly to support their immune system. I find Peace & Calming a wonderful blend too to settle overstimulated kids, especially if they are tossing and turning or waking suddenly after a bad dream.

I’ve also shared before here that I absolutely need to rub some Peace & Calming behind my earlobes when I need to calm down.

I caught a chill recently and it happened the day before my 5-km GE Run. Knowing that I should never medicate before going for a run, I oiled my soles regularly with Thieves throughout the day and applied R.C on my chest and throat.

I felt better the next day, completed my run, and never felt better.

I thought since I’ve been using Young Living Essential Oils for quite a while now, I’d share a list here of some of the oils I absolutely need to have in my household.

These are my must-haves in the house:

Photo Credit: Fellow Mom Blogger and “Oily” Friend – Serene Seah, who writes at Xavy-licious

Purification – for insect bites and itch; to diffuse when the haze is bad. Nat was once bitten by some unknown insect after the kelong trip which formed a huge nodule and this oil applied neat for 3 days cleared the pus and swelling away.
Lavender – for burns and cuts, for my scalp to prevent excessive hair loss
Peace & Calming – need I say more?
Valor – I used this to rub over sore muscles after the GE Run and I stopped aching after 2 days
Orange – I apply it over the liver area over the kids (3 drops directly below their right ribcage) after they eat processed food at parties
Citrus Fresh – for fresh-smelling rooms and children
Thieves – to support the immune system
Lemon – to add to our water, for detoxification
Lemongrass – love, love, love the smell when applied on my wrists (apparently that helps lower cholesterol levels) and when it’s diffused
Di-Gize – for stomach and digestion woes. It works amazing for the kids whenever they have unexplained stomachaches (those they say are painful and they can’t poop it out) and I use it to replace the Ru Yi Oil we used to use
R.C – to replace the way we apply Vicks VaporRub when we have a cold; to rub on the children’s chest and throat when they are sneezing and down with a chill
Oregano – for the husband to combine with Thieves to support his immune system
Frankincense – we pour a few drops on our palms, rub our palms together and cover them over our eyes; it does help relieve tired eyes and solve ‘floater’ problems
Peppermint – to get rid of terrible smells

The oils have been speeding up recovery and maintaining the well-being of the children, and we’ve been going medicine-free for a long time now. We’ve had many, many happy stories of the essential oils working well for us on occasions where the only known thing was to medicate or rush to the doctor. The kids now know that when they have a bruise, a cut, a rash, some sores, ulcers or pain in their body to say a prayer, and look for Mama to apply some oils.

I am really glad to have invested money in these oils because it’s way better than having to deal with the side-effects and after-effects of medication. We’re all now very oily, happy people!

Disclaimer: I’m not doing this MLM thing nor am I into this MLM thing, and I am not sharing this to get downlines. I get questions sometimes from readers and friends who ask me about the oils I use and what I use to to oil my kids for their wellness, and I’d thought this sharing might help.

Coming up in the next post: This Thing About Essential Oils, Part 2: All about the Zyto Scan

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(Self) Examination Family life as we know it The Kao Kids

Loving, small human beings called children

October 22, 2014

Years ago back when I was in secondary school, at a personality profiling workshop, I surprised myself with my own results. While my friends and peers had a mix of different personality traits, mine came from only one dimension, with nary a hint of variety.

I don’t think you need to guess hard whether I was an all D or I or S or C.

Image captured from https://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc/overview/

Yea, I was one-track mind and one dimensional then back in school. I was a ‘D’, which means I demonstrated my emotions based on the ‘Dominance’ behaviour type. As a ‘D’, I’m task-oriented, opinionated and pushy. As a ‘D’, my to-do list is more important than anything else in the world.

I am pretty sure I still am all that the profiling assessed me to be, even till this day.

Which makes me a really big a**hole on most days nowadays because my to-do list is almost ten miles long and my natural tendency is to put tasks before relationships and get things done at any cost, and my greatest satisfaction is to have checked something off that ten-mile long to-do list.

Which means I would ignore my kids when they come to me, whether with genuine needs or not, because I.am.so.going.to.finish.up.writing.this.curriculum.unit

AND I.so.need.to.complete.all.the.frigging.administrative.paper.work

AND I.don’t.care.what.just.handle.the.problem.on.your.own.for.crying.out.loud

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On most days, I don’t just only ignore them. I holler at them for disturbing me. I scream at them for making me lose my train of thought. I yell at them from afar to stop fighting/whining/complaining/playing a fool/acting like monkeys. I sometimes shut myself in the room for a long time so I can work.

Someone please tell me how do I make this work-at-home-motherhood gig work? This is more insane than I thought.

But despite me being the greatest jerk of a mom these days because we’re at the final lap of ironing out the kinks of the business (and there’s just so, so, so much to do), my children – my lovely children – are still making so much room in their hearts for this domineering, dominating, overbearing task-oriented mother.

Every day they send little drawings and notes my way to tell me how much I am loved.

From Ben to Mama

Becks says we should all be happily playing at home

Nat can’t write yet but he made sure the helper held his hand to make me this

These are beautiful children with so much to give in their hearts.

It’s amazing how a person who’s all ‘D’ married someone who is so balanced (Fatherkao is more ‘I’ but has bits of ‘D’, ‘S’ and ‘C’) and gave birth to children who are so giving and forgiving.

I think God gave us children to teach and remind us that it is in them we find balance in life.

And God gave me these angels from heaven to tell me that I am loved, and that the way to find the balance back in my life is to love them back with all that I have.

My three lovely babies

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Family life as we know it The Kao Kids The real supermom

Family life as we know it

September 11, 2014

I’ve been missing this space, and missing in action on this space for a while. So much is going on at the moment, and it’s a season of change once again.

I am going back to being a full-time working mom.

After two years of staying home and incubating ideas, I’m finally going to be giving birth to what I’ve been pregnant with for the longest time (haha, not the 4th child lah!).

I’m going to return to work that’s promising to be more fun, more fulfilling and more meaningful. Best of all, it’s something which I can call my own, and it’s something that will help the family move forward.

So we’re saying goodbye to the humdrum of old routines, and welcoming change as it comes.

That also means I will be spending considerably less time with the kids. I won’t be able to hover over them as much as I would like to (like I have done for the past 2 years, hurhurhur) and while the mom duties of chauffeuring, coaching and cuddling will still remain unchanged for as long as there’s breath in me, the kids will not be having Mama around on some days and at certain parts of the day.

But boy, am I so heartened to know that even when I am not around, my all-grown-up-babies are very much able and willing to entertain themselves – and one another. I am so glad that we did 3 kids in 4 years, now on hindsight. Because in light of this new business venture I am undertaking, it is so heartwarming and assuring to be seeing this:

And this:

The Kao kids play together so well now, and three’s really a crowd. A boisterous, lively and happy crowd that’s fun, funny and so entertaining to watch. Yes, there are fights and squabbles, lots of tattling and whining still but there’s also so much laughter in the house, more than ever before, which is so, so, so reassuring for me because it means that everything we’ve been doing is worth the while.

Although I’ve been so hard-pressed in every way – to learn the ropes of running a business, to plan my time more effectively, to fill love tanks and gas tanks, to keep the household in order, to exercise and stay fit for my health’s sake – it’s amazing how everyone is adapting to this change together with me – the husband, my kids, and even the helper. We’re all learning to give and love despite ourselves. We’re all learning to celebrate every little success as we go along the way.

And I’m learning that even when you’re stretched paper thin, you have this thing called family that you can always count on to give you the support and love you need.

Family life can’t get better than this.

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(Self) Examination Ben Kao Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

Police force

July 3, 2014

Five is the age of policing. I am so convinced it is. At least that’s the case for my son.

Ben has a strong sense of justice and a constant need to know if something is right or wrong. He tattles, quite often, but doesn’t do it just so his siblings get in trouble. More often, he does it because he needs to know from the adult if a behaviour or an action is acceptable or not.

Which means he takes on the role of the moral policeman in the house.

“Becks, you need to say ‘Please’ when you need something. I want to hear it before I do it for you. C’mon.”

“Nat, this is wrong. You need to say ‘sorry’. Go and say that to Mama now.”

“Mama, do not check your phone in the car. No reading in a moving vehicle, remember?”

“If it’s wrong for me to say ‘idiot’, why does Dada call some drivers ‘idiot’ when he drives? Dada should not do that.”

“Aunty A, please pronounce properly. It’s ‘prawn’, not ‘frawn’. Say it correctly lah.”

As you can see, everyone in the house gets corrected by him all the time, almost every day. And he’s usually right 9 out of 10 times. His correction would often leave you embarrassingly speechless.

Just the other day, the police force in the house just said something that took the cake.

Ben: Mama, why is Becks so lucky?

Me: Why is she lucky?

For the record, I dislike that word. We never use it and it was the previous helper that taught him that. We tell our children it’s always God’s grace, never luck. So you can imagine the annoyance in my tone when I asked him why.

Ben: Good things always happen to her.

Me: Really? What good things have happened?

Ben: The good thing that happened to her is me. She’s so lucky to have an older brother who do everything for her. I help her, give in to her, pack for her. She can throw tantrums but I will just help her still. Aiyo... this is lucky what.

Me: *speechless*

I really didn’t know what else to say. You’re talking about me, Motherkao, Ben’s mother, who must have the last word.

See? We have the force right here, always checking to see who’s good and bad, who’s naughty and nice. There, my five-year-old for you.

***

That night I related the conversation to the husband, who, after hearing about it advised me to pay more attention to the children’s emotional needs. He saw what I didn’t. He saw that Ben in his policing was seeking our approval. It was clear to Fatherkao that Ben needed to know that we would always approve of him.

Just at that moment, Ben interrupted our conversation in the bedroom by coming in to tattle on his sister. Like I mentioned, I don’t think his intention was for us to head out to discipline her. He came and told us something she did which was not right, along the lines of her leaving her seat before her dinner was finished.

The response Fatherkao had and the subsequent exchange between father and son was pretty amazing. This was it:

Fatherkao: Ben, I don’t need to know that. I want you to tell me or show me what’s important to you.

Ben: Ok, Dada.

And my five-year-old proceeded to do a forward roll to show his father, and they all had a good belly laugh on the bed.

So. The moral of the story. The moral police in the house stops policing and starts behaving like the five-year-old he ought to be the moment he knows that he is loved and approved by the two most important people in his life. In all that he was doing, pointing out people’s mistakes and wanting to know what’s right and wrong, he was crying out for us to look at him, hold him and affirm him.

***

Motherhood has such thrills, isn’t it? It’s a steep learning curve but you learn so much. Your children teach you to love, how to love, and how to be more human every day. At least that’s the case for me.

Ben, you teach me more than you can imagine. It’s really my honour and a privilege to be your mother, sweetheart.

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Family life as we know it Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

How long?

July 1, 2014

Just the other day, I caught a glimpse of my children with their backs turned, all eagerly looking into the kitchen as their father made them a drink.

It was a treat for them, whenever their father made them something. It was always something special, like a specially concocted smoothie or shake. That day they were given a special treat of dad-made bandung, a drink of rose syrup and evaporated milk, which made their day.

As I was watching them getting all excited over a sweetened drink, I wondered, how long will these kids stay this way?

I mean, how long do they get to stay at 5, 4 and 2?

Not very long, apparently. A year to be exact.

And 365 days after each of their birthdays, they grow a year older. Which goes on repeat mode as long as there’s a sun, a moon and a universe.

Which leaves me with just one thought to wrap around my head.

How long then would I get to do this…

This…

And this…

With my babies?

It wasn’t so long ago I was going on and on about how tough it has been to be mothering two toddlers and an infant. And now, I’m looking at the backs of three young children talking and laughing amongst themselves, and growing up too fast.

I’ve said it before and I’d say it again: I don’t think any mother can handle her children growing up. Definitely not me.

I will miss doing so many things with them and watching all the funniness and happiness unfold daily in my life because I know come next year, I’m going to have to handle bigger children, children who would have grown 365 days older.

Oh, slow down, will you, guys? Mama wants to enjoy you at 5, 4 and 2 for a long while more.

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Everyday fun! Family life as we know it Fatherkao loves... Happy days Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

The hippos are HUNGRY, HUNGRY (chomp!)

June 30, 2014

The house is really noisy these days.

You will be amazed at how much noise pollution this thing, together with these four people makes:

The game’s called ‘Hungry Hungry Hippos’. If you were born in the 70’s or 80’s, I think you’d find it very familiar!

Simple rules: Hands up, get set, chomp!

Gives pandemonium at home a new definition, I tell you.

Fatherkao recently ordered this from Amazon after searching for it in local Toys ‘R’ Us stores for months. They don’t have the game any where, and so we paid USD12.88 for the game and almost four times the game price for shipping.

It’s crazy, I know. I was tempted to scold the husband for spending money like this, until I saw this on the first night they played the game:

And this on another night:

And then the littlest getting all too amused and engaged with the travel set Fatherkao ordered too:

Check out how he plays the two-player game on his own, left hand vs. right hand, in all sort so of positions!

Then I remembered what I often hear my pastor say on Sundays from the pulpit. ‘Use money, love people; NOT use people, love money’. In my husband’s case, he used his money to love his children to make memories they will remember for a lifetime.

They will remember they were hungry, hungry hippos when they were kids, that’s for sure.

Money well spent for so much fun (never mind the noise), that’s what I think!

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Everyday fun! Family life as we know it Happy days Homelearning fun Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

All play, no work, happy kids!

June 24, 2014

Is it the last week of the June holidays already?

This month-long vacation was all play and no work for the kids. Not the child labour kind of work, but I have had grand plans to do lots of revision with the kids like a seasoned, experienced teacher (ahem) that I am so as to help them consolidate their learning.

I had planned to revisit all the 小书 from Berries, test them on all they have learned for Math using pop quizzes, read our graded readers that’s been languishing on the shelves, begging “Read me, read me!” (Poor Peter, Jane, Biff, Kipper and Chip), and introduce some Science concepts through sensory play.

Ah, how ambitious I was.

I started the holidays also prepping this box with a stack of activity sheets for each of the kids and instructed them to go find their folder whenever boredom struck. I told them to be sure to check that box often because they would be finding new things every now and then.

This was called the “I AM BORED” Activity Box

The idea was nothing else but a good idea; the kids couldn’t even be bothered with the box.

I painstakingly washified their names and slotted in things for them to do. Not too fun, apparently!

Sigh.

They found entertainment every day with one another in lots of pretend play…

The kids pretended to be pirates and laid booby traps

Interspersed with unscheduled moments of reading and suddenly wanting to work on some activities…

The boys sharing a moment together exploring a book, which happened all so suddenly. Moments before that they were swordfighting!

I made this for Nat and he likes doing this (but never gets past more than 10 letters) – this is a matching activity using magnetic letters and a laminated paper letter chart

Drawing (A LOT)…

They can be playing and laughing, and then suddenly the house would be silent and I would find the kids at their desks doing this!

And going out a lot for events, outings and a really nice holiday.

Storytelling at Sentosa Playmobil Event

At Montigo Resort for our short getaway

At the new Sports Hub watching World Club 10s Rugby

I think this is the life for any kid, and maybe it was a good thing I got nothing in my list of grand plans done afterall.

Just look at how happy they have been all month long!

Happy kids!

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Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up Nat Kao The darndest kid quotes and antics The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

Sound bytes of our lives (V), ft. Nat Kao

May 31, 2014

If you don’t already know, there’s someone in my life right now that makes me cry and laugh at the same time. He exasperates me to the point I think I am going insane yet possesses the ability to turn my heart to mush with that face of his.

Yea, it’s this someone.

This someone has done the darndest things from stuffing toilet paper and scooping guppies from the fish tank and leaving them to wriggle in soap water to eating dirt and flipping out his diaper filled with poo. Recently, I caught him hiding behind the sofa bed stuffing cashew nuts in his face from a jar that’s he’s snitched from the larder. And just a few weeks ago, he was also caught in the kitchen doing this:

Yep, that’s the two-year-old alright, poking multiple straws into multiple Ribena packs and having a drink of his life. I bet if he could figure out how to open the jars of chicken essence, he would have tried some.

Nat is now 26 months old and beginning to say the darndest things too, which makes me roll my eyes and hyperventilate while amusing me with laughter at the same time.

Recently, he’s starting to learn how to snub me right in my face, and I am now resigned to the fact that I’ve got not one, not two, BUT THREE little tikes in the house who would always have a ready word for Mom to leave her speechless.

***

You can see if you…

In the car one day, passing by a bus stop with a ‘Frozen’ poster ad

Nat: Look, Mama! I saw Frozen!

Me: Nat, I can’t look. I’m driving.

… … … … … …

On the bus on another day, passing by same bus stop with a ‘Frozen’ poster ad

Nat: Look, Mama! Frozen!

Me: Where? Can’t see lah, passed it.

Nat: (yanking my sunglasses) Take off sunglasses then you can see!

Me: -_-

***