Re: learning and child training

No show and Tele: a non-indulgent mother’s tale

December 14, 2012

Some people have commented that I’m way too extreme as a mother to regulate tv in the house and not allow my children to watch cartoons on regular tv programming. Some have even gone as far to accuse me of depriving them of a childhood. There’s a story behind such a decision. So here goes:

“Once upon a time, the kids got to watch Handy Manny, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, and some other random cartoons on Disney Junior at a specific time every day.

Then epiphany hit. Fatherkao and I realised that if we had cartoons available 24/7 on cable, we might inadvertenly use tv to babysit the children, that there would always be the “tv option”.

That was something we decided we will not do.

We also realised that whenever the tv was turned on, the kids were often found in a transfixed state and oblivious to their surroundings; and when the tv was turned off, they would immediately kick up a huge fuss. It was like an addiction, and they would get visibly upset with one of us (usually me) for switching it off. For most times, and I would say nine out ten, Ben threw temper tantrums so bad we ended up having to cane him for his bad behaviour.

So we made the decision to cancel the cartoon cable channels, return the set-top box in the living room, and declared a tv ban for a while (plus the tv-only-allowed-with mom-supervision rule) and never looked back.

That decision did wonders for our time together as a family. Fatherkao now schedules play time in place of tv time and the kids are often found shooting with their Nerf guns, playing tug-of-war, hiding-and-seeking and riding their horsey father. On my part, I read and read and read to the kids. In place of tv time, we also tumble and roll a lot on the bed and play peek-a-boo with the baby.

On rare occasions, I would allow snippets of animal documentary programmes. I’d watch it with them and talk about what we’ve watched. Our favourite last month was the series on Wild Artic on Nat Geo Wild. We learned about seals, polar bears and penguins. Becks has always loved penguins and seeing the different species in the Artic got her very thrilled; Ben showed me his sentimental side by crying twice when the eagle ate the baby penguin and the elephant seal chomped the baby’s momma. Watching cartoons never taught them empathy and helped them develop such love for animals. Watching animal documentaries gave me a wonderful opportunity to witness the  emotions that could be stirred up within them, and how they could express these emotions in such powerful, emphatic ways.

I’m not one of those who think that tv is evil. I just feel that we need to use it with more discretion. I cannot control the cartoon content and I do not know its storyline most of the time. Plus, tv programming is something not within our control and that sucks (don’t you just hate adverts?). Oh, and I also have one self-serving agenda: I want them to love reading, and to love holding books, just like I did when I was their age.

This is the story of why the tv is usually not turned on in our house and how we have found so many things to do together as a result.

And we lived happily ever after.

The End.”

Reading a book together

Reading a book together

Playing with the Lettersaurus

Playing with the Lettersaurus

Fishing for ducks

Fishing for ducks

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8 Comments

  • Reply Corsage December 14, 2012 at 8:13 PM

    I totally hear you on this one! Bubs is only allowed to watch DVDs – on weekdays she is allowed 1 Mandarin DVD in the evening if she behaved well. Fridays are for a Bible story DVD that she loves. On weekends she is allowed to choose what she wants to watch but only 1 a day too. Daddy is the only one who turns on the TV for her, so she knows she cannot ask Mummy. Haha.

    • Reply MotherKao December 14, 2012 at 10:29 PM

      DVDs are a much better option than tv simply because you can control! 🙂

  • Reply Carol December 14, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    hiya, i feel you and agree with your views. in our household, our boys do get to watch some tv, usually in the morning with their breakfast while hub and i busy ourselves getting other things prepared. but it’s only babytv channel allowed, for its slower, gentler pace and very age-appropriate content. no nickledeon, disney playhouse, etc, at home – they already get a dose of that in the childcare centre on some days. at home, if they get too engrossed with tv and ignore my instructions, i don’t hesitate to turn it off. i am
    looking forward to introducing more natgeo and discovery channel animal life kinda of documentaries in the near future. =)

    • Reply MotherKao December 14, 2012 at 11:08 AM

      The childcare centre turns on the tv? *Gasp*

      Yea, you should show your boys some animal documentaries – they can be quite good. But some are quite “violent” too, not to mention bloody, so you really need to sit with the kids to explain or even turn it off when it gets too disturbing! 🙂

  • Reply Ondine December 14, 2012 at 6:07 AM

    We recently instituted the no tv on weekdays rule. Weekends, we have little control cos we go to the grandparents. And Papa loves sharing his love for Disney and Pixar with the children. Recently, it has been in depth discussions about Transformers and the Avengers and his own childhood favorites. JED are happy with that arrangement and so are we! 🙂 

    • Reply MotherKao December 14, 2012 at 11:10 AM

      “In-depth discussions” about Transformers and the Avengers? Wow, what does Papa talk to them about? I guess that when my kids are older, I’ll start introducing some Disney and Pixar cartoons too. 🙂

  • Reply Ricky Goek December 14, 2012 at 2:41 AM

    Well said. Every family & kids are different. Anyway, not all cartoons are educational and they might pick up wrong message + influence. Keep up the positive spirit and posting. For all you know, you might have helped someone who is desperate for a good solution and viable solution. Praise the Lord 😀

    • Reply MotherKao December 14, 2012 at 11:11 AM

      Thanks, Ricky! 🙂 We all just find ways to become better moms and dads, don’t we?

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