Kao Kids Archives - Page 21 of 32

Becks Kao Ben Kao Family life as we know it Parenting 101

The strangeness (and kindness) of strangers

October 9, 2013

My kids are well trained in Stranger Education. They are wary by nature, so it’s not difficult at all to teach them the basics. Never talk to strangers. Say hi only when Mom and Dad tell you to. Familiar faces around our estate are ok – you can wave or smile or say hi, but never tell them where you live or open the door to let them in. Never accept chocolates and candies from people you don’t know. Never follow anyone who tells you that he knows your mother or father. If anyone tries to take you by force, scream as loud as you can.

The kids still get waved at and Nat gets stroked and touched by random strangers a lot, especially when we are on board the bus on our way to and from school. I usually tell them to be polite and smile because it would make their day, especially the old folks that try to befriend them. But they usually go, Huh why… they are strangers what.

Today, on the way to school, an old man who was sitting opposite us on a single decker bus couldn’t stop waving at Becks. He was unkempt and had the most eerie toothless grin. Becks was, of course, beyond horrified and refused to look at him. I didn’t insist she smile or wave. I made her and Ben put on their sunglasses and look out of the window.

Very unfriendly mother here, I know.

When we were preparing to alight, the man was still waving. He kept smiling and his toothless grin was now beyond eerie. It was annoying. We got down the bus, and boy, was I glad for sunglasses.

When we reached kindy, Ben exclaimed that he had lost his toy cow. He’s been taking one animal from his stash of animal toys to school every day to show his Chinese teacher because he’s learning about animals this term. I know it is a bad idea – to allow a four-year-old to be always bringing something to school – but I couldn’t deny him of that enthusiasm he suddenly found in learning Chinese. So I let him bring one out, provided he held on to it and not lose it.

We searched for the cow in his bag and couldn’t find it. He must have left it on the bus! I proceeded with a lecture on taking care of things and expressed my anger at his irresponsibility. So off to school he went, and in a huff I left, only to meet the same toothless, eerily-grinning old uncle as I crossed the road. He smiled at me and this time, he waved and spoke. He said he found the toy which we left behind and passed it to someone in the church. He asked me to hurry back to get it. I thanked him and asked if he had specially alighted and walked all the way back just to return Ben’s toy. He smiled and said in Mandarin, “It’s ok, I can wait for another bus.”

I ran back with the baby. There was no one in sight back at the kindy. I searched for the cleaners who usually sat at the pews facing the road – nope, no one around. Then from a distance, I saw Ben’s toy cow standing on a table, in the middle of nowhere. There it was, thanks to the kindness of a stranger.

When I left the kindy the second time, I walked past the uncle again who was still waiting for a bus. He had alighted, walked a bus stop back just to return a masak masak that belonged to a child he didn’t know (who has a mother that judged his appearance and sister who didn’t wave back). I apologised for his inconvenience and thanked him again. He said he found the toy after we alighted and thought my child would definitely want it back. And so he did what he did.

And I did what I had to do. I made Nat call him ‘Uncle’ and had the baby hi-five him to make his day. I hope it made his, because the kindness in his strangeness certainly made mine.

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Becks Kao Ben Kao Getting all sentimental now Going Out! Happy days Nat Kao The Kao Kids

Happiest Children’s Day

October 6, 2013

I’ve been a mother for about four and a half years now, but this is the first year I celebrated Children’s Day with my kids.

Children’s Day is a special day; it’s recognized on various days all around the world to honour children globally. As a child, the day was nothing fantastic really; all I could remember was Sharity Elephant and how important it was to give all my pocket money to the less fortunate. It’s not that I didn’t want to give. It was just not a special day at all. But now that I am a mom, it’s especially meaningful for me because I now have the opportunity to celebrate my children. It’s even more meaningful as a stay home mom; in previous years, I had to work on this day and the kids attended childcare and celebrated the day with their teachers. But this year, with no work and no childcare, I could spend this day giving thanks for Ben, Becks and Nat – the loveliest children that God has sent into my world – and remind myself that these children are unique individuals created by God for a purpose. And that despite the blood, sweat, tears and living on the brink of insanity every day, mothering them has been my greatest honour and privilege.

This year, we had a celebration together. With cupcakes. Ben and Becks were like, Huh, how come there’s cake? Whose birthday is it, Mama? Why are you making cake?

I didn’t explain much as to why there was a cupcake made specially for each of them except to sit them down and sing “Happy Children’s Day to you, Happy Children’s Day to you, Happy Children’s Day to my children, Happy Children’s Day to you!” and had them blow the candle, which they did with much delight. The cake ritual was more for me than for them – because I wanted me to have that realization sink deep that one day they wouldn’t be so children anymore to want to blow a candle for no reason and eat a cupcake Mama made.

Some day they will grow up.

In the evening, we met with some friends and their lovely children for a picnic against the gorgeous city skyline of Marina Bay at the Marina Barrage to continue our celebrations. The kids ran and played and laughed as the adults picnicked away (and overate). I am sure that deep in our hearts we were all grateful for our beautiful, healthy children who were running after kites, playing ball and squealing at bubbles as we sat there watching them.

There’s just so much to celebrate, and while I know we don’t have to wait for Children’ Day every year to count our blessings, this time every year should be an extra special day for every kid to have a blast and for the mother to sit back, enjoy her kid(s) and repeat this ten times to self:

The insanity is worth it.

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Becks Kao Ben Kao Enrichment Invites & Tryouts Learning fun! Milestones and growing up Reviews

heART Studio’s Little Masters Workshop Review

September 19, 2013

During the September holidays, Ben and Becks were invited to heART Studio for their Little Masters “Monsters” Workshop Holiday Programme.

I’ve finally found a place who would take in kids their age for art class on an ad-hoc basis. I was a little worried initially if Ben and Becks would do ok in a 2.5-hour drop off class – you know how sticky and whiny they can be without me – but my worries were unfounded because of three impressive factors: experienced teacher, small class size and engaging tasks broken down into parts suitable for young children.

For two and a half hours (including a short 15-minute snack break in between), Teacher Syafiq and his assistant were able to shuttle around effectively to guide the class of 6 children, all aged 3 and 4. Under the teachers’ guidance, they were given clear instructions and specific tasks throughout the session.

I was peering in from the window and this was what I gathered they did for the entire workshop: choose monster, learn about colours, choose background colour, paint background, dry background with hairdryer, paint monster in parts (head, body, eyes, teeth, etc) under guidance – teacher outlines and gets child to paint inside the lines, dry what they’ve painted in parts, and wa la!

Ben and Becks chose a monster and then proceeded to paint part by part

Ben and Becks chose a monster and then proceeded to paint it part by part

And this was one of those very rare times I saw how focused and engrossed my little girl was!

Monsters on canvas, that’s what they got!

Ben with Teacher Syafiq, who was extremely patient and encouraging, and very good with kids!

The little painters and their masterpiece

Ben and Becks loved what they did at the workshop and couldn’t help but to show off their masterpiece the whole day long. They came home and told Fatherkao, Little Nat and the helper that “we painted all this by ourselves, you know” and wanted to display their monsters prominently for everyone to see. They can’t wait to paint again, and are looking forward to doing more art pieces next holiday!

I’m just really glad that had a good time and I didn’t have to clean up any mess.

heART Studio LLP is located at 101 Soo Chow Walk Singapore 575385 |Tel: (65) 6554 7563 | Fax: (65) 6554 7562 | Email: info@heartstudiosg.com | Website: www.heartstudiosg.com

Disclosure: Ben and Becks were very kindly invited to join the Little Masters Workshop in September. We received no monetary compensation for this post and all opinions here are my own and based on the kids’ experience at heART Studio.

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Holidays! I ♥ lists Motherkao loves... The Kao Kids The real supermom

10 tips to survive Hongkong with small children

September 19, 2013

Now that I’ve gone to Hong Kong and back, and have survived a holiday with three kids, I guess I am somewhat qualified to write this post. I learned some stuff the hard way, and these lessons involved some sweat, a lot of tears, and even blood. If you’re heading to Hong Kong with toddlers or young children, you might want to keep some of these in mind.

1. Get the Octopus at the airport instead of the MTR station when you arrive

We had originally planned to buy our Octopus cards on the second day at the MTR station nearest to our hotel but I was really glad we purchased them together with our Airport Express tickets at the Airport Express Counter at Terminal 1 after touching down. We arrived in HK on a Saturday evening and the second day for us was a Sunday – which means everyone, I mean, everyone, was out on the streets. I think there were at least a few thousand Filipino domestic workers out that Sunday we were there, as well as hordes of tourists from Mainland China and HK’s own people, who love visiting the malls on Sundays.

So boy was I glad to have gotten the cards at the counter at the airport where there was no queue and zero jostling.

Octopus is accepted all over Hong Kong and can be used for transportation (we used it for the MTR, Star Ferry and the tram) and parking, at retail outlets and self-service machines. You can pay for stuff you buy from 7-11 with the card, which is really convenient.

2. When the menu in HK restaurants reads ‘steamed rice’, the rice is really steamed

When we arrived in HK on Saturday evening, the first thing we did was to travel by Airport Express to Kowloon to catch the free shuttle service to our hotel at Yau Ma Tei. That took close to an hour, including the 15 minute wait for the shuttle bus, but it saved us quite a bit of money (taking a taxi would have cost 3 times as much). By the time we checked in at The Cityview, a four-star hotel in Kowloon, we were famished. Three starving children is never a good thing, so we headed to The Balcony, a restaurant at the hotel, for our dinner. We ordered the set dinner and asked for the rice to be served first.

Who would have thought asking for rice first to feed my very hungry children would be our most frustrating wait ever.

The dishes came, one after another, but the rice didn’t, and the children remained hungry and whiny. 18-month-old Nat needed rice as his staple but the rice which was part of the set wasn’t served together with the dishes! We waited close to 20 minutes, only to realize that when the piping hot bowls of rice appeared on our table, they were not rice scooped from the rice cooker. The rice was steamed, bowl by bowl! Every grain was fragrant and steamed to perfection, and well, it was a case of better late than never for us.

So my advice to you if you’ve got really hungry kids: order fried rice or noodles or something that they can cook up quick to tide them over the hunger pangs. Steamed rice is really steamed in Hong Kong.

Rice is here! Can’t wait!

3) People give up seats on public transportation, so learn to say thank you in Cantonese

Sunday was horrendously crowded in Hong Kong and people were packed closer than sardines in tins on their MTRs and trams (Star Ferry was less crowded). Despite that, it was amazing to see men and women giving up their seats for me, who was wearing the baby, and the two older kids. Despite the jostling and shuffling, there’s a whole lot of civility and consideration on public transport.

I made a mental note to myself that I need to teach Ben, Becks and Nat to say thank you in Cantonese the next time we’re there.

4) Don’t drink the soup

My children are soup kids. They love ban mian, which they call ‘ikan bilis noodles soup’ and all the soup versions of noodles we eat here in Singapore, like sliced fish soup, wanton mee and ba chor mee. For breakfast on the second day, we gave up waiting for a table at Lin Heung Kui and headed to one of those eateries along the street for some wanton noodles (wan tan min in Cantonese). When the noodles were served, I dished out three portions of noodles, complete with soup, for the kids.

Which was a big mistake.

Turns out that humble eateries like these don’t make broth. Their ‘soup’ is just yucky lye water (alkaline salts, or what we call kee in Hokkien) and horrible! And they don’t have wanton noodles in version dry: chilli with tomato sauce, tyvm, the way I like mine, which was a bummer.

So unless it’s a restaurant and the noodles are cooked in broth, don’t drink the lye water when you eat your yu dan min or wan tan min. Just give the kids the noodles and the dumplings.

5) Bring along children’s cutlery and food scissors, and always go to a restaurant that can strap your baby in on a baby chair

It’s impossible to get eateries and restaurants in Hong Kong to provide you with children’s cutlery and plastic plates and bowls, unless it’s Disneyland. I was well-prepared for this and brought along many kiddy spoons (the ones for soup too) and forks. My kids are 4 and 3 and 19 months and the tablespoon, soup spoon and table fork are still a tad big for them. I also brought two pairs of food scissors to cut the noodles, veggies and meat (ooh, love the char siew there!), as well as hand-and-mouth wipes (Pigeon’s wipes contain 100% food grade ingredients, so I feel at ease cleaning the scissors and cutlery with those wipes).

A note on the food scissors: remember to leave them in your check-in luggage, else they would be confiscated at the security check at the airport.

What I didn’t brace myself for, was that some restaurants don’t even have a decent baby chair to strap an active toddler in! Ben can sit still and wait for food, and so can Becks, if we make sure she’s got stuff to do, like scribble on serviettes (I always have pens in my bag), eat peanuts or play scissors-paper-stone with someone. But to make Nat wait even a minute without strapping him on a baby chair at a table with breakable ceramic and child-unfriendly everything (think sharp table corners, hot teapots, musty carpets and peanuts) is to ask for trouble.

And ask for trouble we did, on the second night.

This restaurant apparently serves great shabu shabu and yakitori grill but it was a huge mistake taking the kids there. Even if we had asked that the grilling be done for us in the kitchen. They had absolutely zero baby chair. So when I took my eyes off Nat for a few minutes (I need a vision break too, yes?), he cut his lip and chin while playing peek-a-boo with himself with the mirror behind the bench he was seated.

I almost fainted from seeing so much blood coming out from inside his mouth and the area around his chin. There was a cut (it looked like a cm long) that was gaping and for the moment there I thought he might need stitching. His lip was swelling and his teeth started turning red with blood mixed with saliva. Thank God the two cuts closed quickly with prayer and an ice cube.

So yes, this lesson was learned with blood.

If you have an active toddler, remember to ask the restaurant if they have a baby chair for his safety.

Nat’s a tough one, this boy: smiling even after a fall

6) Check the weather, and leave those raincoats at home in September

Download the app MyObservatory. My good friend who lived a year in Hong Kong told me that she referred to it every day before she headed out. The app provides personalized weather services, and users can get the latest weather information specific to their locations and an overview of a week’s forecast of HK’s weather.

I should have trusted the info on the app and left the raincoats at home. What was I thinking, bringing the raincoats and windbreakers and jackets! It didn’t rained a single bit while we were there. In fact, it was scorching hot and humid in September!

7) When at Disney, be prepared to be a slave

We spent close to 10 hours in Disneyland and I’m sure the kids were very glad they did minimal walking. They only stood when we had to queue and that was all the walking they did. You can rent strollers for HKD 90 at Main Street in Disneyland – and we rented three of them. Unfortunately, the strollers cannot be remote-controlled and the poor exhausted adults had to push these kiddos everywhere we went.

It was also HOT, HOT, HOT and there was very little shade. Bring a brolly and slather sunblock generously. I’m telling you, SPF 25 is NOT enough. I got sunburnt still. Go for SPF 50 and more. I slabbed copious amounts of that for the kids and they were saved. Oh, plus the fact they sat on strollers that had a little canopy that covered their heads.

Slavery begins at Disney

8) Not everything you see in the gift shops can be found in Main Street. Or at the hotels. Or at the airport.

So I read from some blogs that you can get souvenirs from Disney almost anywhere. There are souvenir shops in the two Disney hotels and one huge one at the airport. And they say whatever you see in those little souvenir corners, shops and carts in all the various lands in Disney you can be sure to see the same stuff at the mega huge shop at Main Street.

Nope, sorree‘!

See this Pluto stuffed toy here?

This Pluto is special cos' it's lying on its tummy!

This Pluto is special cos’ it’s terrycloth material and Pluto’s lying on its tummy!

Ben fell in love with it when he saw it in Fantasyland. I told him, naa, we can buy it at the hotel, I’m not gonna lug this all the way and it’s like what, only 5pm, and I’m here to announce to you that we searched high and low for it after we left Fantasyland and couldn’t find it anywhere else. Nope, not even at the airport! In the end, I had to go to the Disney Store at Nex back in Singapore, and even then the Pluto we got in Singapore looked different.

A word of advice: never ever leave the buying of souvenirs to the end of the day before the park closes (after the fireworks, that is). Buy them if you want them when you see them. At the corners. From the carts. At those themed stores after your rides. Whenever. Wherever. The stores at Main Street after the fireworks suddenly turned into the all-so-familiar scenes of frantic buying and grabbing as if an apocalypse was going to wipe Mickey and Friends out from the face of the earth forever. There was way too much pushing and shoving (I tried to go find Pluto) in the souvenir shops; and it took me a long while to jostle my way out.

9) Bubble tea is not everywhere – when you see it, tapao!

I’m a hopeless addict to bubble tea. I have it without the bubble though; I need the tea to function normally on a daily basis. So there was no *Share Tea or Drink Tea or Koi where I went. I did see a ComeBuy, and I was ecstatic. Just minutes ago before seeing ComeBuy, I was at a cha chan teng trying to psycho myself that HK milk tea could somehow remotely taste like bubble tea. Good thing I didn’t down the nai cha. I couldn’t be happier to be sipping my ComeBuy Milk Tea.

I also found a Gong Cha near the hotel we stayed. Should have tapaoed one and kept it in the fridge. Needless to say, I was zombiefied at Disneyland because there was no bubble tea.

(*Share Tea, Drink Tea, Koi, ComeBuy and Gong Cha are the names of bubble tea shops. My favourite has to be Drink Tea!)

10) Toilets are hard to find. Forget pull-up pants.

One of the things that was extremely difficult to locate, besides bubble tea, was the toilet! We could hardly find public toilets and even despite asking so many people at the MTR station where the toilet was, we couldn’t find one in the station or near it to help Ben answer nature’s call. At Ladies’ Market and Electrical Appliance Street, we searched for toilets everywhere and there was none in the malls! I kept having to tell Ben to hold his pee in and even wanted to put on the diaper for him at one point, because it was just all too frustrating to be searching for a toilet for a boy needing to pee A LOT.

Of course, clean toilets are aplenty if you hang out at the more upmarket malls in Hongkong Island. Where we were at Kowloon, we always needed to get a drink at a cha chan teng or wait till meal times at restaurants to use the toilet.

Fortunately, Becks and Nat had diapers on the whole time. I’m not about to put myself in a situation where I have to bring three kids to pee. At different times. All the time.

On hindsight, I should have made them wear the Velcro ones instead of pull ups. Pull-ups are supposedly convenient to remove (just tear sides – easy if it’s not soiled) but difficult to put on. Especially when the kids are wearing jeans and socks and shoes. To pull up the pull-up, they’ve got to remove their shoes and socks and take off their jeans. Very tricky if the toilet floors are wet and dirty. If I’d brought along Velcro ones, they’d be easier to remove (just unfasten Velcro). And to wear them, all I need to do is to get them to remove their pants to knee level without taking their legs out and fasten the diaper with them in a semi-squat position (it takes skill to wear it for them standing up, but then again, I’m a mom of three!).

So just for the record, I need to say that it was hell changing Nat’s poopy diaper on the plane. He refused to lie down on the changing table. He was wearing a pull-up. He stood while I removed a diaper bomb of yesterday’s dinner. There was some turbulence. He refused to stay still while I cleaned. Let’s just say shit happened. If he had worn a Velcro one, it would have been much easier to remove, roll up and dispose. This tearing-a-pull-up’s-sides business always leaves you with a mess especially in a confined space.

And of course, may I also add Tip#11 for mums like me who have three young children? Don’t be a hero. Bring your maid. Bring a troop of babysitters. You need all the help you can get.

You’re most welcome for these tips.

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Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up Nat Kao

Letter to my littlest #7

September 18, 2013

Dearest Nat,

What mischief happens every minute with you at 19 months!

You tug and pull Ben and Becks to get your way, pretend to cry to get your “sayangs” and have even learned to smack Aunty S when you’re unhappy. You tear our books and throw paper out the window. You draw on the walls, the floor, the tables and all the chairs when you have been firmly told to only draw on the paper. You even run around with the crayon with a catch-me-if-you-can smirk when I demand it from you! It’s a good thing you do it with Crayolas now, which are washable. Those times you ran with my permanent markers? Argh. You’ve graffitised our walls very permanently too.

Boy oh boy, you’re turning out to be quite a naughty, cheeky one, aren’t you?

Look what you did: we had to run downstairs to pick up paper so Mama doesn’t get arrested for littering!

But you’re not just that, my love. No, no, no – you also happen to be the happiest person in the house! The house is filled with so much laughter because of you. You have an amazing ability to do the funniest things to leave us in stitches. You jiggle and dance, imitate everyone with a straight face and do the darndest things. Every waking moment with you is a happy one; if you’re not up to mischief, that is, and driving me insanely exhausted trying to keep you out of trouble.

You’re our funny boy.

(Clockwise from L-R): Nat sword-fighting; Nat sitting on the floor on board the plane; Nat posing for the camera after demanding for his hat; Nat drawing on the paper and not elsewhere; and one of those rare times he stayed focused drawing circles (taken at the hotel room when we were in HK)

You love Ben and Becks to bits and would want to be with them all the time. Now that you’re a little bigger, they are including you in their pretend play. I’m sure you’re having the best time of your life, being able to run with, and after, kor kor and jie jie.

The happiest boy in the house: learning and playing with kor kor and jie jie

You say a few words now and can call most of the people at home quite clearly. And Mama’s gotta be your favourite girl in town. You call her, and call for her all the time. You can’t be apart from her, it seems. The distance that is 5cm away is pretty much the distance you can comfortably be away from her on most good days. Nothing much has changed, really. You’re still the sticky you that has severe separation anxiety. You cannot be apart from the woman who bore you and is still nursing you, and she has no choice but to take you everywhere she goes. Every day. So when she had to drive everyone around when Dada was out of town last week, guess who wailed for Mama every car ride until he started retching?

It’s you, Nat my dear. My cheeky, happy, sticky you.

Yours to stick to, always,

Mama

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Ben Kao Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

In conversation with a four-and-a-half

September 16, 2013

This is the world according to Ben, five months shy of five years.

On twisting my arm, just so he can jump from a slide (this first appeared on my FB status earlier this month):

Ben: Today I jumped from the slide at the playground and my teacher said I cannot do that. But I told them my Mama allow me, you know.

Me: Was it high? Dangerous?

Ben: No la, not high at all. I can fall with my hands la! Also not dangerous what… So why cannot?

Me: Your teachers are worried for your safety. If they say don’t, listen to them. In school, obey them. At home, you obey me.

Ben: Why in school I don’t need to listen to you?

Me: I’m not there what.

Ben: Why don’t you just call my teachers and tell them, “Ooi, my son can jump from the slide! Why you don’t let him be brave?”

Me: -_-

On having a mother:

Ben: (to everyone listening in the living room one fine morning) Do you know why it’s important we have a mother?

Me: Oh yes, tell me why.

Ben: If we don’t have a mother, who’s going to teach us? Have lessons with us? Help us?

Me: Yea, you’re right.

Ben: And also, who’s going to rescue us when bad guys take us away?!?

Me: Yea, who?

Ben: You la, Mama!

On losing his mother:

Ben: Will you die, Mama?

Me: Umm… (thinking hard where this question is heading)

Ben: Who’s going to look after us if you die?

Me: Umm… You want me to die?

Ben: No! But you will grow old and then you will die right, that’s what you told me about people.

Me: Ah, yes… I will grow old one day.

Ben: Then may I know, who’s going to look after us?!?

Me: My love, when I am old, you’ll be an adult and you’ll be able to look after yourself and others. You don’t need me anymore.

Ben: Will I cry if you die?

Me: I don’t know, you tell me. I think if you love me, you will.

Ben: I think I will. Cos’ I love you so much.

On Jesus, heaven and the animals:

Ben: When we get to heaven, will the animals that are there eat us?

Me: No animal will eat us in heaven.

Ben: Why?

Me: Cos’ they obey Jesus in heaven and Jesus will make sure no animal will hunt you down.

Ben: Woah! Jesus is cool!

On death and heaven:

Ben: When you showed us the flashcards just now, you forgot to ask if we have a father. (I had just flashed them the set of flashcards for family.)

Becks: We have la, it’s called Dada!

Ben: Does Dada have a father?

Me: Yes. But Ye Ye passed away and is now in heaven.

Ben: Why did he pass away?

Me: (thinking how I should explain) Umm…

Ben: He smoked? (Fatherkao once told him that)

Me: Yea…

Ben: Aiya, why did he smoke?

Me: I don’t know…

Ben: Maybe people taught him?

Me: Maybe.

Ben: And maybe he wished to explore heaven! You know, heaven is so cool right! Can meet God and Jesus!

Me: Yea, maybe. I have no answers for this.

Ben: Aiya, why some things you have answers and some things you have no answers?

On heaven, why we aren’t there and living life:

Ben: If heaven is so nice, why are we not there?

Me: Hmm… Good question. We will be there one day, but till then, we’ve got things to do on earth.

Ben: Like what?

Me: Like live our lives?

Ben: To do what?

Me: To enjoy our lives, and help people.

Ben: Oh yes, that’s why we must go Disneyland and many countries for holidays! And if I want to help you in the house, you cannot say no ah!

Me: -_-

Welcome to Ben’s world, and my life with a really inquisitive child.

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Holidays! Motherkao loves... The Kao Kids

The Kaos go travelling – Hong Kong!

September 14, 2013

Finally I have a tag and category that says Holidays! on the blog.

It comes with an exclamation mark though.

So, we just returned from Hong Kong after spending 4 days and 3 nights there, with me doubling up as maid. Yes, you heard that right. In my infinite wisdom, I had made the call to travel 1600 miles away without my domestic help. Fatherkao was away for a week in Sweden and I’d thought ah well, my parents and sister, who came along on our trip would make excellent babysitters. They were, don’t get me wrong about that; they perfected their skill of distracting my kids so I can get things done / eat / poop / catch a 3-minute shut eye to a master shifu level they deserve another holiday just to unwind from this holiday. My sister commented that she’s never worked harder and never felt more tired than all of her worst days at work put together. Isn’t that master shifu level already, for someone with no kids?

But I was the one who had to handle the never-ending packing + feeding at mealtimes + making milk + washing bottles + cleaning poopy backsides + bathing and drying + brushing teeth + tucking in SINGLEHANDEDLY. For all three of them, thanks to the absence of my tag team partner, also known as the maid. Not to mention the miscellaneous motherly duties like holding hands, beco-ing the not-so-baby-anymore baby, disciplining the kids when they misbehave, capturing holidaying moments with my Olympus Pen, and answering the questions that come fast and furious from being in a foreign land and experiencing new sights and sounds every single day.

Still, I’m appreciative of the fact that my dad had sponsored our vacation so that I could finally go somewhere after staying home for six months, and the kids would be on their first plane ride ever. I was also missing the husband so bad that heading out was a good distraction for me. Paradoxically, I stayed sane from missing Fatherkao in the midst of all the insanity tending to the three kids.

The kids had fun. The highlight of their trip was being in the hotel room where tv and bath tub water was free flow, and of course, Disneyland! I had fun seeing them having fun, and thoroughly enjoyed soaking in, breathing and eating Hong Kong. I’d spent my whole life devouring TVB serials and it was magical for me to be listening to Cantonese (and trying to speak in it, haha!) and savouring everything Hong Kong about Hong Kong – the dim sum, the cha chan teng, the MTR, the crowd, the wet market, the congested roads, the hilly slopes and cobbled streets, the night markets, the street performances, everything!

So yes, there are plenty of reasons why the category Holidays on my blog gets an exclamation.

All three kids took turns to poop when I was about to have my in-flight meal on our way there! I walked carrying the 11kg not-so-baby-anymore baby for hours and the back didn’t break! The left ankle (which was injured some months ago) didn’t give way! The ko yo (medicated plaster) from HK was fantastic! I had roast goose! We got lost after taking the tram – yay! We explored with kids in tow from Kowloon to Central to Wan Chai! The kids kept asking when they could return to the hotel to hibernate – argh! Nat jumped around on the second day at a restaurant that had no baby chair and fell! He cut his lip and chin and bled for a good five minutes! I almost fainted at that from trying not to panic! I survived 10 hours in Disneyland in 31°C weather with three kids! Without my maid! Nat couldn’t keep still on the plane on the flight back, thanks to the big cup of bubble tea I had!

We had a holiday! Still !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Invites & Tryouts Milestones and growing up Motherkao loves... Reviews The Kao Kids

All in the picture now, thanks to Orange Studios

September 3, 2013

Fatherkao has almost never taken a break from being the resident paparazzo in the house. Since 2009, he’s been bending, squatting and contorting in all sorts of awkward positions with his DSLR, capturing precious moments of each of our kid as they tumbled, crawled and toddled in their growing years. Picture-perfect moments with the kids are also always unpredictable, which means as the resident photog, he’s always on standby mode and ready with his equipment to snap a shot.

Which also means that the number of photographs that we have with him in it are way too few the children always end up asking, “Where is Dada in the picture?”

It is for this reason alone I had agreed almost immediately when Orange Studios contacted me to review their studio photography service. Finally, Dada can be in the pictures, and we’re gonna have some nice family portraits!

Prior to the photoshoot, Orange Studios’ photographer, Ryan, rang me up for a chat to learn more about our family and the kids. He asked what Ben, Becks and Nat loved, what they enjoyed doing, and to name some activities we do together as a family. He suggested that I could bring items that each of the kid liked, books they enjoyed reading and toys they love playing with together, and individually. He also suggested how we could be coordinated outfit-wise, and asked me to think about ways I could make the couple shots special and even suggested that I bring something that was representative of Fatherkao and I during our dating days.

I packed two sets of clothes for the family – one formal and one casual – plus all the stuffed toys that each kid loves: Lego blocks, some of our favourite books, some balls and their favourite of all favourites – Nerf guns. I almost packed in some wine glasses, a bottle of wine and our dusty scuba gear (I think my flippers would disintegrate if I wore them – it’s been so long!) for our couple shots – but by the time I was done packing for the kids, I saw three of those giant Ikea bags lying in the hallway (to my horror) and decided I would be too crazy to be lugging the alcohol and scuba stuff all the way to the studio.

At the studio, we met Ryan and Wini, his lovely assistant, and they helped us settle in and feel comfortable very quickly. I didn’t tell the kids what I packed, and when they saw the Nerfs, the plushies and the Lego Duplo, boy, did they go wild! Getting them to do what they do best (going wild like apes) wasn’t too difficult at all. They quickly warmed up to Ryan, who engaged them in non-stop chatter and jokes, and the kids in turn had fun playing and posing for the camera. There were so many spontaneous moments and much laughter in the studio, thanks to our friendly photographer’s creative and sometimes wild suggestions for shots, and we all had a ball of a time jumping, walking, talking, playing and shooting Nerf guns. It was really fun taking pictures as a family.

I shall let the pictures do the talking:

As you can see, Ryan does a really good job making sure everyone looks comfortably natural and happy. He captures the spontaneity in the moment, and does it extremely well.

We were also given a 20″x 20″ canvas print by Orange Studios, which now sits proudly on the telephone table in our living room. The canvas print quality is superbly impressive. The colours are vibrant and the finish is clean and a beautiful sleek matte. If there was one moment I would want to capture in time and preserve it for eternity, it was that – my young children living their childhood to the fullest and our very blessed family smiling for the camera.

Thank you, Orange Studios, for giving us this opportunity to laugh and play freely, and to have fun together as a family!

*Here’s something for Motherkao’s readers who wish to have a spontaneously smashing good time with Orange Studios!* Orange Studios is offering a $150 cash voucher for readers of this blog if you book anytime from now till 3 October 2013.

The Terms & Conditions that apply are:

1) You need to schedule your photoshoot within 2 months of this post, which is by the first week of November.

2) The cash voucher can be used to offset whichever package(s) you book.

To find out more, contact Orange Studios at +65 8606 6951 | +65 8606 6950 or connect with them via their FB page. Remember to quote “Motherkao” when you make your booking!

You’ll have fun for sure, this I can assure you!

Disclosure: We were invited by Orange Studios to smile for their cameras and to review their studio photography services. We were also given 10 photographs in soft copies and a 20″ x 20″ canvas print of our favourite shot. All opinions here are based on our experience and solely my own.

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Family life as we know it The real supermom

The story of my life

September 2, 2013

There is no rest for the tired mother.

The end.

2 Comments

(Self) Examination Ben Kao Mommy guilt Re: learning and child training

Four is a tricky number

August 29, 2013

The fourth birthday brings with it a whole new set of challenges to parenting. Raising a four-year-old is tiring business in motherhood.

The tantrums and meltdowns have returned, but unlike those tantrums that we’ve seen and heard during the Terrible Twos – they are now “emo” tantrums, which are much much more easily triggered by small, insignificant things.

Ben has become the resident “emo” guy in the house. When things don’t go his way, when he perceived that he’s being bullied, when he feels a sense of unfairness – he goes to a corner of the house, folds his arms, and sulks. Sometimes in his sulking, he mumbles gibberish to himself. When I check on him and ask what he’s saying, he tells me with resentment in his face, “Nothing.”

When he is disciplined – and usually for disobedience and bullying his siblings – he becomes ten times more “emo”. I hardly use the cane to discipline him; usually a time-out would suffice. And while at time-out, he does the you-don’t-love-me-anymore and pulls the wailing nobody-cares-about-me stunt on me. He whimpers and sobs in his most pathetic, and I have to admit, it sounds so pitiful that it breaks my heart. For him, the physical separation of needing to sit apart from everyone in solitude drives him nuts and he gets very emotional about it.

I have a very sensitive firstborn, I tell you.

Then there’s the incessant questioning and the unwillingness to listen. Every minute he’s thinking of questions to ask and he’s asking even while you’re answering the first question. He’s not listening to your answers; he just wants to keep asking all the questions popping in his head. I sometimes get very annoyed because he keeps asking questions for the sake of asking, and I turn Tiger Mom on him and make him repeat all my answers to all his questions just so that he would listen and not irritate the hell of out me for questioning for questioning’s sake. There are also days when I go “I don’t know” on him, and unfortunately for me, I’m now reaping what I sowed because lately, he’s been using “I don’t know” on me whenever I quiz him about what he learned in school, how he slept the night before, and all the other questions parked under the mothering-my-child category.

Argh.

Four years old is an age of contradictions.

He waffles between insecurity and wanting to exert his independence. He talks about conquering the world, yet, shies away socially and loses that bravado at times. He makes up lots of stories, and stubbornly refuses to acknowledge the difference between fact and fiction – which becomes really tricky when I’m trying to teach him academically. I find it very hard to teach him Science stuff cos’ he’ll insist what he imagines to be right – and this again frustrates me a lot. He can be very demanding (how come you don’t know all the answers, Mama?) but also eagerly cooperative and helpful, rude one moment but also very sorry and sweet the next , and incredibly selfish, yet sensitive and sympathetic at times.

I’ve been very much a ferocious Tiger Mom these days when it comes to my four-year-old. He seems to have this innate ability to push me to the outer edge of my patience. I turn into a growling and critical mother who over-reacts every time he does what he does best – being a four-year-old. I’m frustrated, angry and drained almost every day.

~~~

But I didn’t write this post to only detail the challenges of raising a four-year-old. More than that, I’m writing to remind myself to look beyond the challenges that come with raising children at every stage that I am blessed with a four-year-old who’s curious about the world, enthusiastic about life, brimming with energy and experiencing all sorts of emotions that’s part of growing up. I’m writing to remind myself that beyond wishing that this too shall pass, to remember the now – the now that I may never get to see after the fifth birthday is celebrated and the candles are blown out – and not get too caught up in the daily grind and seeing mothering my four-year-old as a big task to accomplish.

I’m writing this to remind myself because Ben feels that I don’t love him anymore. He just told me that on the bus on our way to kindergarten. He says,”I don’t know” when I asked him if he knew that I loved him very much. That broke my heart. What he feels matter, and I have, in a bid to parent him with all the challenges that come, managed to work him like a big task to accomplish and forgotten that this boy has feelings too. When I blow it, holler at him and overreact, I push him away; I forget that he’s just being four.

I have busied myself with trying to cope with him being four (and his sister being three, and the impending Terrible Two that’s approaching with Nat) for too long that I’ve forgotten to love. To love him for who he is. Just like I’ve done when he was one year old, two, and three. And to roll with life’s punches and adapt as motherhood presents new challenges. Not react all the time and alienate the ones I wish to be firmly attached to for the rest of our lives.

Six more months before he blows out five candles. Six more month to love him while he is still four.

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