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Invites & Tryouts Milestones and growing up Nat Kao

We’re not done with Barney yet!

June 10, 2014

I thought we were done with Barney. But no. We’re not done.

You see, I still have a two-year-old.

Who attended playgroup for twice a week in the first half of this year and got acquainted with the purple dinosaur with his ‘clean-up’ song.

And so, we still have a fan in the house despite two others moving on to Transformers and princesses. Obviously, my motherly duty isn’t done yet for this one until I bring him to see Barney, Baby Bop and BJ and get a picture with them.

And so we went, to join the Barney madness that has descended yet again at City Square Mall. Barney and his friends sang and danced with all their little fans who were squealing and all too excited to see their idols, and I very much got a glimpse of what these kids might also do in a couple of years time with k-pop stars.

The madness has descended!

The littlest was, of course, happiest listening and grooving with Barney and his friends, who sang one of his favourite songs, ‘Mr Golden Sun’, and coming up close with the three friendly dinos who hi-fived him at the Meet and Greet session.

We were there with our friend whose little boy is another fan!

The fan got his fan service. And I am done with my motherly duties.

More details:

Explore the wonderful world of Barney, Baby Bop and BJ at City Square Mall! In a special ‘live’ show from 7 to 22 June 2014, Barney and his friends will show you how amazing things can happen when you use your imagination. Shoppers can redeem an exclusive pass when they spend $50 at City Square Mall for a Meet and Greet with Barney and Friends!

Barney and Friends ‘Live’ On Stage is on from 7 to 22 June daily except Mondays at 2pm and 7pm on weekdays and 1pm, 4pm and 7pm on Saturdays and Sundays at the Level 1 Atrium. Get more details here.

Disclosure: We were given media passes to meet Barney and his friends last Saturday evening at City Square Mall. All opinions here, together with the decision to brave the long carpark queue and hordes of screaming fans are my own.

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(Self) Examination Milestones and growing up Parenting 101 Re: learning and child training The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

Parenting at 5, 3-half and 2 (Part 2)

June 9, 2014

It’s incredible what parenting does to you. You can feel a host of extreme emotions – like that of guilt and elation, anger and love, and fatigue and enthusiasm – all on the same day, and sometimes, almost at the same time.

That’s what parenting my 5-year-old Ben, 3-turning-4 Becks and 2-year-old Nat is doing to me.

My littlest exasperates every single day. Without fail. With his mischief and antics. Like sticking the Yakult straw in his ear and wailing non stop for ten minutes in shock and pain. Or aiming his p-part at me to do a wee on me like a rain shower while I bathe him. Or picking things up from the garbage and stuffing his mouth silly with whatever he thinks is edible and having me chase him around the house to stop him. I always feel I have a combo Speedy Gonazales, Tazmanian Devil and Bart Simpson on the loose with him.

Some people whom I recently met commented I’ve lost quite a lot of weight. I think I lost them all by sighing a hundred times a day and chasing after Nat who is thinking up mischief every waking minute of his life.

But he is also, at two years of age, the most endearing child of the three. He cries for you, laughs with you, hugs you with no restraints, and tries with all he has to bring a smile across your face. You can ask for a hug or ten kisses and you get them, with no questions asked. His clingy-ness is unbearable on days when I am exhausted but incredibly heartwarming despite that tiredness.

This is my boy at two.

***

His brother, on the other hand, is growing up a little faster than I had prepared myself for. But who am I kidding? I don’t think any mother is prepared for her child to grow up.

Ben is now often immersed in his own little world, talking and pretend playing with himself, his animal figurines, his Transformers and Lego people. His vocabulary is extensive, often a close imitation and mish mash of what he hears the adults say. He is sensitive and shows his emotions freely, and is now more a person who is eager to please and to be accepted.

It’s all about solving his own problems, working things out by himself and trying his best with him now.

Yea, that’s my eldest. My firstborn. My big darling that’s going through this phase of self-discovery right now.

***

The little girl. Ah, my princess. The one who is getting more girly as days pass. She now wants long hair. She loves dresses. She adores having hair clips and hair ties on her hair and pesters me to comb her hair every day. She has ‘babies’ and loves to play mommy. She even hides in a corner to nurse them, feed them and talk to them.

Yes, this little girl. I don’t know what happened to that tomboy.

Becks is turning 4 next month and is looking quite the stunner with those pretty big eyes and icy smile. Every day, she’s discovering a whole new world and learning what it means to be her own person in it; complete with learning how to handle – and control – her emotions and tantrums. She’s learning that she’s not two anymore, and we’re not going to be accepting bratty hissy fits like we used to put up with when she was in her Terrible Twos. As she begins to understand what is expected of her as she grows up, my darling girl is also blossoming beautifully – both inside and outside.

***

We’re not so much done with growing pains and this is very much the beginning. I’m learning too that my life, as a mother and a person, must not and should not stop as I parent these children, and that I too, must grow, learn, unlearn and relearn to always be appropriate – as opposed to being redundant – in their lives.

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Enrichment Invites & Tryouts Learning fun! Reviews The Kao Kids

Learning how to improve children’s writing at Lorna Whiston

June 5, 2014

In April / May, I was invited to attend a short course for five weeks at Lorna Whiston to learn strategies to teach young children to write.

I declined the invitation at first. For two hours every Monday from 6.45pm to 8.45pm, at the busiest two hours of the peak period at home, I would have to leave my husband and the helper (and then we didn’t have one for a while even!) to handle dinner, tired kids and tuck-in. No mother would want to put anyone except herself through that. Even if it’s once a week. Or for five weeks.

But I eventually accepted the invitation for three reasons. #1: It would be a good break away from the kids at the busiest time of the day (how about you kids learn to handle life without Mama for two hours huh?); #2: I need to acquire more strategies in my arsenal to interest Ben and Becks to start writing (since we’re starting on our reading already); #3: I can’t wait to learn from the experts.

The five-week course addressed a few key questions: How do children learn? What teaching methodology will best support children’s learning? How do we create a supportive writing environment? How do we get children started on writing?

And when they do pick up a pencil and start to write, how do we develop a wider vocabulary with them? How can we get children to plan and structure a story? What can we do to teach them how to start and end a story effectively? What are the stages of writing development?

Being a home-teaching mom who is actively involved in my children’s learning, especially for the English Language, I do already have some ideas and strategies up my sleeves. Attending this course gave me more ideas, more strategies to tweak and adapt for my own children and helped clarify some doubts I have regarding how children learn.

This writing course was also helpful in that the trainer, the Head of Teacher Development Unit at Lorna Whiston, meticulously planned and customised his sharing to our children’s developmental and learning needs. There were four of us mothers in the course, and we all had children of different ages ranging from two years old to nine. And as we interacted, we discovered our children had different needs and challenges, and as we shared them with the class, Jonathan also provided his expert opinion and shared resources and strategies to help with those challenges.

Lesson in progress by Jonathan Cooper, Head of Teacher Development Unit

In class, we learned how to evaluate writing based on a ‘Success Criteria’

It was a suitably tailored course with plenty of interaction.

A good deal of learning and relearning took place during those five weeks for me, and it helped me to evaluate some of the things I’ve been doing with the older kids. The course also reminded me about returning back to the fundamentals of role modelling and reading.

Here are five things I took away from the course, which are particularly needful at this stage of my children’s learning development at 5 and 4 years old:

1. Create a print-rich environment at home

One of the key things to create a supportive writing environment at home is to start by creating a print-rich environment. There should be an easily accessible library, lots of pen and paper lying around, attractive displays of their writings, labels that accompany visuals, word maps and charts, and lots of big books for sharing and enjoyment. Creating this is the first step to get children to associate fun with words and words with fun because the home is now literacy-rich and words are everywhere.

For me, it’s a reminder that I need to constantly create and recreate this at home – even though it means that the house looks like a classroom now. Time to change some of those posters and put up new displays on walls.

2. Don’t stop reading to your child and with your child

Reading to and with our children helps them build their vocabulary. And as long as the child wants to read to, regardless of how old he or she is, we should read to them. When they don’t want us to read to them any more, there should be time set aside to read together.

3. Bring back the play-dough and monkey bars

I hate play dough. I hate the mess it creates and the cleaning I have to do after. But I have to bring it back. Kneading dough actually helps strengthens those little fingers and prepare them for writing. During outdoor play, get children to swing on monkey bars to strengthen their grip and develop those muscles.

Time to bring the dough back for play!

Ok, time to encourage my monkeys to swing and to make some DIY play dough for the kids.

4. Scribe by highlighting to create storybooks authored by your child

This is one tip I learned which I found especially useful. If our kids can’t write or spell yet, we can still get them to imagine up stories and put them all on paper – with us as their scribes!

I tried this on Ben recently and it was a hit with him. I put some paper with triple lines together and asked him to author a story book. What does he want to write about? Who’s going to be in the story? What’s going to happen? Then as he told me his story, I took a highlighter and wrote out the sentences for him, after which he took over by tracing what I wrote with the highlighter.

Writing his story

A Fun Party by Ben Kao

Doing this also allowed him to practise penmanship and learn the basic structure of a story – that every story has a beginning where characters are introduced, a middle where something happens, and an ending. And best of all, he loves writing now, and wants to create more storybooks.

5. Always model. Children need good models.

Children need to see adults write, whether it’s a shopping list, a note for someone or a birthday greeting. When they see that, they wouldn’t be averse to writing so much. Yes, so it’s time to put down the iPad and phone – because typing a text message is not writing – and start picking up pen and paper in front of the kids to scribble something.

Samples of guided writing by different ages shared with us at the course

Also, every element of story writing requires specific teaching and modelling. So it’s important to share good stories with children, and possibly even use bad examples to show them what not to do.

Recent reading research tells us that preschool teachers and parents should be systematic and explicit in their support of literacy skills, which means that things should not be left by chance and teaching should also be organised according to developmental milestones. So if it’s time to teach how to start a story, make it explicit and expose the child to as many story starts as possible. Plough through a story to learn vivid verbs if the child is at the stage where he needs more vocabulary to create the element of excitement in his story. Bottomline is: as parents, we need to model, we need to teach. Don’t leave things to chance.

All in all, fruitful learning took place for me for five weeks and I am going to gradually introduce some of the writing strategies to the kids as we chug along in our homelearning journey. If you’d like more information about the adult courses Lorna Whiston runs, you can connect with them on their FB page, visit their website or contact them at 6251 7662.

This was the course I was invited to attend

Disclosure: I was invited to attend the Improving Children’s Writing course conducted by Lorna Whiston Study Centres for 5 weeks. No monetary compensation was received and all opinions here are my own.

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Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up Nat Kao The darndest kid quotes and antics The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

Sound bytes of our lives (V), ft. Nat Kao

May 31, 2014

If you don’t already know, there’s someone in my life right now that makes me cry and laugh at the same time. He exasperates me to the point I think I am going insane yet possesses the ability to turn my heart to mush with that face of his.

Yea, it’s this someone.

This someone has done the darndest things from stuffing toilet paper and scooping guppies from the fish tank and leaving them to wriggle in soap water to eating dirt and flipping out his diaper filled with poo. Recently, I caught him hiding behind the sofa bed stuffing cashew nuts in his face from a jar that’s he’s snitched from the larder. And just a few weeks ago, he was also caught in the kitchen doing this:

Yep, that’s the two-year-old alright, poking multiple straws into multiple Ribena packs and having a drink of his life. I bet if he could figure out how to open the jars of chicken essence, he would have tried some.

Nat is now 26 months old and beginning to say the darndest things too, which makes me roll my eyes and hyperventilate while amusing me with laughter at the same time.

Recently, he’s starting to learn how to snub me right in my face, and I am now resigned to the fact that I’ve got not one, not two, BUT THREE little tikes in the house who would always have a ready word for Mom to leave her speechless.

***

You can see if you…

In the car one day, passing by a bus stop with a ‘Frozen’ poster ad

Nat: Look, Mama! I saw Frozen!

Me: Nat, I can’t look. I’m driving.

… … … … … …

On the bus on another day, passing by same bus stop with a ‘Frozen’ poster ad

Nat: Look, Mama! Frozen!

Me: Where? Can’t see lah, passed it.

Nat: (yanking my sunglasses) Take off sunglasses then you can see!

Me: -_-

***

Explain to you also no use

Me: Please don’t run. It’s slippery and you’ll fall.

Nat: Why?

Me: There’s water so if you run you may slip on the puddle of water.

Nat: Why?

Me: Aiyah, how to explain to you. Just don’t run! Listen to me, k?

Nat: Yes, Mama. (RUNS OFF)

Me: -_-

***

Why? Because!

Me: Why do I have to force you to come brush your teeth every night? Why, Nat, tell me why?

Nat: Because because!

Me: -_-

***

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Nat: Mama, can I eat pistachios?

Fatherkao: No more, Nat. I said enough.

Me: Dada has already given you a lot to eat, right? No more.

Nat: Can I eat, Mama, please?

Me: Please go check with Dada.

Nat: Dada, can I eat this?

Fatherkao: Enough for now, k.

Nat: Awww, ok. (walks back to me…)

Nat: Dada said ‘CAN!’, Mama. Nat can eat.

Us: -_-

… … … … … …

Nat: Mama, I like this snake.

Me: That’s Korkor‘s rubber snake. Did you ask before you take?

Nat: Yes. Can bring out?

Me: Please go ask your brother for permission.

Nat: Ok. Korkor! Nat can bring snake out?

Ben: (from a distance) NO!!! IT’S MINE! NO BRINGING IT OUT!

Nat: Mama, Korkor say can.

***

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Going Out! Invites & Tryouts Nat Kao Reviews The Kao Kids

Review: I Theatre’s Puss in Boots

May 30, 2014

Last Saturday, we were at the Drama Centre at the National Library for I Theatre‘s Puss in Boots to learn a thing or two from a cat about being smart but not to the extent of outsmarting oneself.

As part of I Theatre’s ACE Festival 2014, the family-friendly drama production featured a talented cast who sang and danced in an entertaining story set against a rustic French village about a cat who uses trickery and deceit to gain power and wealth to win the hand of a princess in marriage for her master – but ultimately learning the important lesson about being morally upright and using her wit to save the day.

There were many funny moments throughout the musical, like cat puns, the audience being invited to participate in pronouncing ‘The Marquis of Carabas’, the Ogre Queen’s hilarious French accented bragging and singing, as well as exaggerated dance moves by cat and royalty alike that made all of us roar with laughter. The older kids were entertained and engaged, as usual. It was also my first time bringing two-year-old Nat, and although he was initially frightened by the darkness, the ogres and the cat’s purring, he soon relaxed when he heard laughter and singing.

After the show, at the Meet and Greet, Nat proclaimed loudly that he likes the cat very much. “Nat Nat likes this show,” the littlest declared. So unlike his brother and sister who were quite frightened to take a picture with the cast at their very first theatre experience (it was Hey Little Mousedeer! last year), the boy was all ready to come close to the talented people in costume who performed for him.

I’m glad theatre has enriched the children’s lives a little with wholesome and entertaining storytelling and sound moral values of integrity, kindness and fairness. Thank you, I Theatre, for always extending kind invitations to us so we can always have a wonderful time appreciating local theatre productions and learn valuable life lessons!

More details:

Puss in Boots is part of I Theatre’s ACE Festival 2014 and will be on till 31 May 2014. ACE Festival is in its 5th year running and stands for Arts, Creativity for Everyone. It is a festival of enriching experiences, promoting family togetherness and celebrating a creative melting pot of positive and total arts experiences, featuring local and international theatre performances, workshops and fringe events. Details here at www.acefestival.org.

Read about our reviews of I Theatre’s past productions:

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Invites & Tryouts Milestones and growing up Motherkao loves... Nat Kao Product Reviews

One advice from the PD I won’t be following (yet)

May 28, 2014

During my last visit to the PD two weeks ago, she asked if I’m taking off Nat’s diapers already and getting him used to not wearing any at home.

She gave me the same advice for the older two kids when it was time to begin their toilet training: take off their diapers in the day when they are at home, get them used to their private parts not being covered up by a diaper, and lead them to the toilet every two to three hours to help them do a wee.

As it appears, it’s now time to begin toilet training the littlest. How time flies. With three kids so close in age, I lose track of the timing for all these milestone developments, especially for the last child. In fact, I was there at her clinic for his MMR vaccincation which was due 8 months ago.

Nat is now 26 months old, and I’m really thinking hard about how I could start toilet-training him. He’s active and up to mischief ALL THE TIME, and running around in his diaper pants since wearing it at 11 months that it’s become an extended part of him.

Little Nat in his new Drypers Drypantz which is like an extended part of him

That plus his mother is way too lazy to be doing this toilet-training thing for the third time. Haven’t I already told the world that I’m so happy to have finally found a good brand of diapers that fits the untrained ones snugly in the butt, hold pee (and poo) in well, which gives me such a peace of mind?

And even more so now with the new improved Drypers keeping him so comfortable throughout the day, I’m not just about to take his Drypers Drypantz off and fret about having to clean up puddles of pee when I can let him roam and run with this extended piece of him.

No, no, I’m so NOT about to do that. Haven’t you heard my recent complaint about this boy?

[Sung to the tune of ‘Three Blind Mice’]

One active Nat, one active Nat, see how he runs, see how he runs;

He’s gonna run after Ben and Becks, climb monkey bars and have fun to the max;

He’s not ready to pee at the urinal yet;

This is one active Nat.

This is Nat, who take every opportunity to climb, run and get in trouble

This is Nat, who takes every opportunity to climb, run and get in trouble

I’m telling you, once a mother finds a diaper that fits her child snugly, provides many hours of dryness, and gives him the skin comfort he needs, she’s not about to follow anybody’s advice when it comes to taking off his diaper and leading him to the trainer urinal to do a wee, like what, 10 times a day?

We’ve gone for a couple of hours straight recently when we were maid-less and I was out with all three kids and found the new Drypantz more amazing than it used to be. The garter waistband was firm enough to hold so much of Nat’s pee and didn’t drop at all, although the boy soon realized that it became difficult to run around (hurhurhur – so cute, that diaper butt!).

Plus, the material the diaper-pants is made of is soooooo soft (smooth and cloth-like cover on the outside, as well as absorbent within, with aloe vera, chamomile, olive extracts and Vitamin E), I hardly need to worry about diaper rash or the diaper giving him a scratchy wedgie.

So, no, Dr PD. When I smiled at you sheepishly, it was really because I was extremely reluctant to do as you suggested.

Toilet-training can wait a while more, I suppose. This active kid’s happy to be in his new improved Drypers Drypantz anyway.

Happy Nat and his new improved Drypers Drypantz

This post is brought to you by Drypers. We’ve been regular users of Drypers Drypantz and Wee Wee Dry since 2012. We’re recommending this because we really like what we’re using and have not been disappointed once by the premium quality we’ve experienced. While Drypers Drypantz can deliver many hours of lasting comfort which my incidental experiment of being out with the kids and not having the time to change Nat’s diaper has proven, I do not recommend that you keep diapers on a kid for that long! Experts say a child’s diapers need to be changed 2 to 3 hours regularly.

~~~

Make the change to ultimate comfort with the newly improved Drypers Wee Wee Dry Newborn, Drypers Wee Wee Dry and Drypers Drypantz! Drypers is a partner in every parent’s parenting journey, helping you magnify little moments of magic, for life.

For the month of June 2014, with every purchase of 2 packs of Drypers Wee Wee Dry or Drypers Drypantz, Motherkao’s readers can receive a $10 FairPrice voucher when they send in a scanned or snapped photo of the receipt (as proof of purchase), along with personal particulars (name, address, contact no., child’s name and DOB) to sg.contest@sca.com with subject title [Motherkao].

Promotion not applicable to Drypers Drypantz M-4pcs, L-3pcs, XL-3pcs, XXL-3pcs. The promotion of the $10 voucher is valid from 1 June – 30 June 2014.

Disclosure: This post is part of a series of sponsored conversations on behalf of Drypers. All opinions here are my own.

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(Self) Examination Milestones and growing up Mommy guilt The Kao Kids Thunderstorm days

Three changes to make starting today

May 26, 2014

There are three things I’d like to change in this house to keep tempers from flaring, fights from starting and resentment from building.

So I’ve told the kids that starting from today we are going to…

#1 Look at each other’s eyes when we speak

#2 Hug A LOT, like ten times a day

#3 Change our understanding of what a time-out means in this house

I realised that amongst the kids they don’t look at each other much when they talk. And between me and the kids, we don’t make much eye contact anymore. I bark a lot of orders from a distance, and even when I say goodnight, I’m practically just spacing out with my back turned against them, facing the littlest whom I’m almost always nursing at bedtime. Their father, on the other hand, constantly reminds them to look at him when he is talking to them, and from what I am observing, the dynamics between them and their father is one of greater respect and better communication.

It took me a while before it finally dawned on me that I have allowed familiarity to set in to breed a good deal of contempt, that we’re taking each other’s presence for granted, and that I have forgotten that one of the many ways to show love to children is to give them lots and lots of eye contact.

Yep, no excuse here. So you can ahead and smack me on the head.

Also, recently I came across this on FB which made me re-evaluate the ‘when’ in giving my hugs.

I hug the kids when I send them off to school. So that’s about only once a day for Ben and Becks and twice a week for Nat. They go for enrichment lessons twice a week, and so that’s another two more hugs. Within a day, I hardly hug them. Ben is so tall now and sometimes when he pounces on me as if to give me a hug, I get annoyed. Nat makes me carry him all the time when we are out and I “hug” him almost reluctantly. Becks hug me from behind on occasions like this – like now when I’m sitting at a desk with my laptop typing this post – and she takes every chance to play hairdresser and I get irritated when she yanks too much hair out while combing.

So these poor children don’t get enough hugs for survival and are even deprived of opportunities to show love.

What a terrible Mommy they have – is what you must say. Go ahead, you can smack me on the head again.

So I’m going to fulfil their hugs quota everyday from today onwards. I don’t care if I need to do this religiously like a Mommy rule to follow – I will have to do it. And I told the kids to give one another as many hugs as they can too. Instead of fighting and pushing and getting angry with one another – which occurs often – let’s try hugging.

I gave them permission to shout ‘group hug’ whenever they need it and we’ll all try to drop whatever we’re doing and come from where we are to give it.

We need to hug at least four times and ideally ten times a day.

Lastly, I’ve going to elevate the status of time-outs at home. No, it WILL NO LONGER be a form of punishment. It will not be about isolating you from the rest of the family because you’re misbehaving. I’m not going to use the cane at a time-out too. I told the kids that whenever I see them losing control, they go for a time-out. And no, it’s not a punishment. It’s not something bad. It’s not even because you’ve done wrong although you might have been wrong. It’s just because you lost control and you need to breathe and calm down. That’s all.

And when they see Mama lose control, they can also ask Mama to go for a time-out because she needs to breathe and calm down and stop hyperventilating, yelling and flailing her arms.

Yea, we’ll be as open as we can that way from now on.

Let’s hope these little changes would improve some things at home, fill their love tanks up and make our home a lovelier one than it already is.

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Invites & Tryouts Motherkao loves... Product Reviews Reviews The Kao Kids Uncategorized

Pretty, sticky and lasting [Stickerkid review]

May 22, 2014

The kids’ personalised stickers which I got from those push cart stalls in the mall have been failing me. These days, we can’t even recognise what’s being printed on the labels. Thankfully, they are at the age where they are indicating their preferences more strongly than ever, so we know what belongs to who by colour and design preferences, like their water bottles. The confusion begins when things are identical, like school bags, uniforms and colour pencils.

The label that failed me, which also means a waste of money

And it’s as if Stickerkid picked up my distress signal, and offered to send some personalised labels my way for the Kao kids.

Stickerkid is an online store that designs and produces high quality Swiss-made personalised labels from stickers for belongings and identification bracelets to photo name labels. The company was founded in 2004 and has printed millions of premium quality labels for thousands of parents and their children all over the world. We were really blessed to be given a fully sponsored code to customise a one-line personalised label for our belongings, as well as iron-ons for all the three kids.

It didn’t take us long to go online and choose the colours and fonts that we wanted, and the kids each had a say of their labels’ font colour and background colour.

The kids took turns to sit in front of my lap top to personalise their sticker labels

And when they arrived in the mail two weeks ago, they were thrilled! Immediately, they started labelling their favourite things…

60 small stickers for each Kao kid from Stickerkid!

“Hands off, these are mine!”: I am echoing the sentiments of these kids here

And I took it upon myself to label their identical looking pencils to prevent more fights from breaking out…

Identical things like these MUST be labelled in this house so that a war doesn’t break out

As well as rid their water bottles of their previous useless labels and putting on new ones.

The kids chose their favourite colours for their labels which incidentally are the same colours of their water bottles!

The kids chose their favourite colours for their labels which incidentally are the same colours as their water bottles!

Clearly, the biggest difference between those roadside-pushcart-pseudo-Disney name labels and those from Stickerkid is the fact that the quality of the stickers really IS better. I hear these stickers survive the microwave, the dishwasher, water, sun and sand. I’ve waited two weeks to write this review to see if the labels would fade and drop off from the kids’ water bottles that go through a good deal of scrubbing once a day, and I am pleased to say that they haven’t! I also stuck them on fabric (the kids’ school bags) and the labels have stayed there since the day I pasted them on.

I stuck the labels on the kids’ school bag made of tough fabric and the adhesive in each label is amazingly strong

And although their iron-on labels for clothes may not be the prettiest, they apparently are made to last for a really long time – as long as at least 45 washings in 60ºC. With these labels ironed on, I no longer have to spend time squinting at faded size tags at the back of their PE t-shirts (Becks is S and Ben is M) when I get them ready for school. Any time saved is good time saved, I say.

What a relief to have these !

I’m really happy to have Stickerkids help personalise the kids’ stuff. Their labels are extremely affordable and value for money, and saves me time and prevents fights. These little stickers are really something.

Thank you, Stickerkid, for sending these goodies our way and making the Kao kids really happy with these pretty things!

***

If you’d like to check out Stickerkid and see for yourself how good their labels are, you can get a 10% discount by quoting the discount code “MotherKao2014“ when you check out! This promotion for Motherkao readers is valid till 30 June 2014.

Disclosure: Motherkao received no monetary compensation for this review. The labels (3 sets of small stickers and 3 sets of iron-ons) were sponsored, courtesy of Stickerkids. All opinions here are my own.

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(Self) Examination Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids Thunderstorm days

My kids don’t think I’m great anymore

May 20, 2014

A few days ago, I hit an all-time low in my SAHM-hood. I was inconsolable (and still am now) and had to mope around for a couple of days before bracing myself to write this post.

It all started with this book:

I’ve read this book to the kids like what, more than 10 times at least, since we had it and the children enjoy the pictures and the heartwarming story in this book by Giles Andreae about all the reasons why the little boy loves his mummy.

The book ends with this, and usually, we’d end our reading of this story with a big group hug and the kids telling me how much they love me:

Until a few nights ago when the kids told me, after the story ended, (and I quote Ben and Becks) that their mummy “is not that great” because “she canes us and shouts at us” and that their mummy is more “lousy” than the mummy in the book who is “so fun” to play with.

When I asked them to explain further and asked if their mommy caned and scolded them for no reason (I spoke as the third person), they said, “Our mummy cane us because we are naughty. But why must she do that? Just tell us nicely lah!”

And even after explaining that it’s a mummy’s role to discipline her children – and even the Bible says that sometimes we need to use the rod to chase foolishness away from a child – they still believed that kind of mummy is “not a good mummy”, not like the one in the book we read so often.

After being exasperated for a while, instead of breaking down as I should with tears already welling up in my eyes, I threw a big adult tantrum, told them to go to bed and to find another mummy. I hinted that I may go back to full-time work afterall, because it seemed like my being around them was not appreciated.

Both of them looked at me, with their eyes wide open, and asked me where they can buy a new mummy. Becks also asked if I could go back to work and hire more aunties to take care of them instead.

***

Quite a blow for the stay-home mum ego, isn’t it? Needless to say, I was horribly shaken by what the kids talked about, and what they could conceive in their minds – that they actually wanted to buy a new mum or even entertained the thought of getting others to replace their mum. At that moment I felt that my two years of sacrifice of staying home has all been for nought. Clearly, they are taking the mum presence for granted; they are seeing me around too much to be actually feeling some tinges of contempt that come with familiarity. I mean, if I were working full time, we’d probably treasure those few hours of seeing one another after a day’s work a lot more. I’ll probably scold them less, let them get away with a lot more things, and make the helper clean up after them more often than not.

Because of the fact that I’ve stayed home, and the recent episode of being maid-less for almost three weeks, they’re witnessing before their eyes how their own mother handles stress and adjusts to the unpredictable situations that life throws our way (which isn’t the best, of course); plus the fact that they are at the age where child-training has to take place so that they learn to be independent, I also tend to do more nagging and scolding than praising and encouraging (which is entirely the way I’ve been wired).

And have you seen the way the kids just complete ignore me whenever I give instructions like “Pack up your toys”, “Don’t litter Lego blocks on the floor”, “Please wear your shoes and get ready to go” and I get at least a whole ten minutes of lag time? Which is TOTALLY ANNOYING. I don’t know what else to do but to raise my voice and holler so that I can get things going.

So the kids think this is totally uncool and that Mama is lousy compared to the storybook mum who probably never yells at her kiddo and always smothers him with cuddles.

***

So, as I was saying, I moped around for some time before finally sitting down to write this. I did a lot of thinking after hearing what the kids said to me. It’s true, motherhood really sometimes brings out the worst in me. I scare myself on those days when I lose it; and I probably would never know this awful side of me if I hadn’t stayed home. It makes me wonder if this is all worth it. I could take the easy way out, spoil them silly and just leave the care-giving to full-day daycare. I mean, that is SO doable. I tell you, working (where I previously came from) is definitely much easier than being home with three young children. Why am I doing this, having to show my worst to the kids on crazy days where there’s chores to be done, disobedient children screaming the house down, tantrums to handle, crayons littering the floor, urine stains on the toilet bowl and toilet paper stuffed in every visible corner in the house?

What’s the point?

Of course, it is also silly to take the things that a five-year-old and four-year-old say too seriously. Why, they are children, and they’d say the darndest anyway. The adult at the receiving end should be bigger, in every sense of the word, and be the bigger, better person in handling the “feedback” and be tough enough to soldier on. Afterall, these are the things a mother has to bear.

***

The kids have assured me that they still love me, and Ben has, through tears, told me that he wants me to stay home still. He seems to fear that I might chuck him in childcare and never caring for him ever again; and I am mindful not to say things that would scar him. Becks still wants me to go back to work, because that to her will solve the “Mama has no money” problem, and so she says, which means I can buy her lots of things to eat and stuffed toys to play with, something which her present thrifty stay-home mother does not indulge her in.

I guess it’s still onward with this stay-home journey, albeit with a little discouragement. I’m choosing to believe that I can try to be a nicer person when stress gets in my way and that the kids were probably stressed out too the past three weeks of us being without live-help such that they don’t like the mother that has become the horrible-always-barking-Mom-maid that they are seeing.

It must have been also tough for them to have to put up with me the past weeks.

At least, I am still loved. Even though I am horrible.

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I ♥ lists Milestones and growing up Parenting 101 The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

The A-Z Guide to staying home

May 13, 2014

This is the second year I’m staying home and it’s been nothing but crazy still. Many people have asked me how I survive on a daily basis, and what my secret is. I wish I could say vodka, but heh no, I don’t drink and have yet to give that to my kids to knock them out.

Although that’s a really tempting thought on really insane days.

Well, I’m still surviving (but barely breathing!) and I’m joining The Gingerbread Mum‘s blog train where she invited 31 stay-home moms to share their survival tips – one mom for each day for the month of May.

So here’s my very own tips – from A-Z – featuring all the things I do / use / need to make it through the madness. There’s no secret, really, but I hope some things in this list can help you make it through each day as they have helped me make it through mine.

You’re welcome.

Motherkao’s A-Z Guide to Staying Home: things you will need and places you must go

Activity books

Activity books can keep young children occupied for quite a while; even the littlest would colour away happily whenever he gets one. Value for money, and great investment in exchange for at least 5 minutes of silence (and longer if the kid is older). You can get these for less than $4 at fairs and mobile booths in shopping malls

I keep the kids iPad and iPhone-free with these

Balloons

Believe it or not, I buy balloons from the party section in the supermarket. I buy many packets and use balloons to distract the littlest and to break up fights. I get the kids to choose a colour and they love to watch in anticipation while I blow each balloon, one by one, and then I make them volley the balloons and chase them. And while they do that, I can catch a shut-eye for a minute at least.

Chocolates

I stash a few boxes of After Eight in the fridge and sneak a few pieces in my mouth whenever I feel I’m losing it. You already know chocolates are a great cure for depression and insanity, right?

Disney Junior

Channel 311 on Starhub TV, oh, that’s a godsend babysitter. The kids like almost everything on it, from Doc McStuffins and Sophia the First to Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Now that we’re without a helper, this channel gives me my toilet break and some me-time in the shower. For another awesome babysitter recommendation, refer to the Letter N.

Espresso machine

One of the best things in our kitchen and worth every single cent we sunk in. Think the smell of coffee filling the air in the mornings and freshly brewed lattes that are kind to the stomach. I’ve said goodbye to 3-in-1 and its horrible aftertaste forever since we bought one. If coffee makes you happy, consider investing. We use a Philips Saeco.

Foot rubs

I don’t get to go for these anymore at those koyok-smelling places in the heartlands. No time, no money to buy packages anyway. But I give myself these rubs on my feet once in a while with nice smelling essential oils for a perk-me-up. FYI: your two big toes are connected to your cerebrum so remember to rub hard and press in when you think you’re losing your head.

Grapes

Best.fruit.ever. to give to kids. No need to cut, no need to wash plates or utensils. Just give them a good rinse with skin on and kids get vitamins, fibre and natural sugar.

Husband!

This word deserves a thousand exclamation marks if space allows. He’s your tag-team partner and the one who has to bear all your complaints after a hard day of you staying home. Be nice to him (so he’ll be ready to listen and empathise), always ask how his day was first, and squeeze his shoulders for a bit before you unload.

H is for Husband, the best tag-team partner ever

Ikea’s Småland

Ever since Nat can enter this place (he’s finally 92cm!), I’ve been going there at least once a month to “deposit” the kids while I get at least one hour of me-time and some coffee. Sometimes, I bring a friend who brings her kids and both of us get some adult conversations while the kids play. The best part of this all: IT’S FREE!

Juice

Best “distracting” beverage for the kids – I pour this out a lot whenever they whine for something sweet or I have to throw away candies from goodie bags they get from school. I exaggerate the number of fruits / veggies that they can taste from one sip of the juice – blueberries! grapes! carrots! peaches! apples! – even though it’s usually ‘Mixed Berries’ that they drink (two 1-litre packs for $3.95 from Marigold) and the kids start salivating. Add some ice cubes to make it like a treat! Works wonders every time!

Kdramas

This keeps me going when the going gets rough: the thought of being able to catch one episode – any episode – of something from kdramaland with enough hotness in it after the kids are in bed (Lee Min-ho, I’m looking at you!). Many sites have come, and gone – and failed me – but I’ve found DramaGo and DramaFire to be the most stable for now.

Cannot miss the chance to put a picture of HOT on my blog like a crazy fan girl

Cannot miss the chance to put a picture of HOTNESS on my blog like a crazed fan girl

Library

Place to go where you don’t have to put the books back and organise them by genres (me to OCD self). Place to go when you need to escape from sweltering heat. Place to go so kids can be awed by just how many books there are and to sit comfortably to read. Best place to visit during the school holidays to keep kids occupied.

Mom rules

I have these rules for myself to follow as much as I can. They guide me in the day-to-day handling of the kids and my role as their mother.

Nick Junior

Channel 304! Another terrific babysitter. My kids love this more than the one you read about at the Letter D. I find this channel more educational, slower in pace of moving images, and more engaging. I do still try to limit TV time (but it’s becoming increasingly tough these 2 weeks with no helper) but I really wouldn’t mind them catching the 15-minute segments of the many good shows on this channel – Go, Diego, Go!, Dora the Explorer, Bubble Guppies, Wonder Pets and Ni Hao Kai Lan.

One-pot meals

These help me save time and yet give the kids a meal. I throw frozen prawns, frozen corn and canned pineapples with pineapple rice paste in the rice cooker and we get pineapple rice for dinner. I throw some ribs and lotus in the slow cooker and we get soup. I put in chicken, carrots, potatoes and mushrooms and we get stew. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Playground

When I see the kids getting restless and sense that they need to expend their energy a little, I head on down to the nearest neighbourhood playground. Now that the kids are older, I leave them to play and climb and run while I sit and stone on the bench. Keeps me sane in the evenings too.

Quiet time

Now with the Bible app on my phone, I read the verse of the day and meditate on it throughout the day. For me, it really is crucial to spend time praying. Like the saying goes, prayer IS really the best way to draw strength from heaven.

Running Man

Ooooh! I am addicted to this, and like what you’d read while at the Letter K, the thought of being able to unwind with this after the kids go to bed keeps me going when the going gets tough. On particularly bad days, I find myself needing to watch this to have a good laugh before I sleep. I laugh out loud heartily (this variety show is just TOO funny!), release all the tension of the day, and when I finally feel that the stress is all gone, I go to sleep happy. Running Man *Hwaiting!* !

I catch my Running Man episodes here

Singapore Mom Bloggers

I belong to this wonderful closed group called Singapore Mom Bloggers and we have meaningful virtual connections and friendships online. I share and rant there, and seek advice a lot from the mothers in the group, and having these moms as my friends keeps me sane on crazy stay-home days.

Terminal 3

If the kids need space to run; if you need a decent place to eat out on weekends but don’t want to queue for that long (compared to places in town); if you need to dream of a holiday; if your kids want to be monkeys without you being judged, head on down to Terminal 3. This is our place to go on weekends; and my kids monkey around at the viewing gallery together with many other kids while the parents look out at planes and plan their next getaway.

Updates

I have stopped feeling guilty of scrolling my phone to check status updates on FB and Instagram. Why, I need to connect with people too, I face the kids almost 24/7, y’unno.

Verbal diarrhea

Known fact: women de-stress by talking. Talking helps them connect. Talking helps them unwind. So talk. Talk to husband. Talk to children. Talk to children’s stuffed toys. Talk to children’s school teachers. Talk to furniture. Talk to self. Talk to cleaners, pump attendants, service staff at restaurants and cashiers. TALK. It ALWAYS makes you feel better. Just make sure you won’t have to put your foot in your mouth while at that.

Water play

For hot days. For days they refuse to get in the bath. For days when I need 15 minutes to chill with a cup of tea. I turn on a trickle, throw in lots of plastic cups, bottles, bottle caps, and pails and get them to play while I sit outside the toilet with my cup of tea and watch them. Fun at a small price, and will certainly continue if PUB doesn’t increase our utility fees.

Or places like these also can:

Free fountain fun at Greenwich V

Xerox-ing

Having a printer that can photocopy is extremely helpful. I zap things for the kids to do again and again, like their favourite colouring pages and activity mazes. If you own one of those Grolier Logico sets, the back of each card has an activity which you can xerox for the kids to try.

Young Living’s Essential oils

I’ve tried essential oils from Young Living for close to 6 months now and I am one happy convert. I oil the kids’ soles – and mine and Fatherkao’s – religiously and use the oils for various ailments and aches. They work great for me, by the way, especially Peace & Calming, which soothes me much after a tiring day with the kids.

Zoo (and the River Safari)

Our two default places to go if the weather is good and I have energy (the River Safari is fully sheltered, by the way). These two places never fail to thrill the Kao kids, and they just love the idea of being there looking at animals. Favourite hangouts: Frozen Tundra, Giant Pandas’ Den and Rainforest Kidz World. Oh yes, I’ve calculated that the zoo family membership is worth it if you visit at least 6 times a year. And also, this is the place to go during the school holidays if you’ve run out of things to do.

Love the cool at Kai Kai and Jia Jia’s den at the River Safari

There you have it, a list from A to Z! My favourites are the letters H, K and R. What are yours?

~~~

The next mom on the blog train is Summer, who blogs at A Happy Mum. Summer is a media executive turned SAHM from Singapore who stepped into the gratifying journey of motherhood during her four-year stay in Sweden. It was then she realised that this was her destiny all along and she is now the mother of two lovely girls. She believes that contentment is bliss and that happiness is about making the best of what you have. A Happy Mum is a place where she blogs about motherhood, babies, love, DIY crafts, travelling and all things happy. Join her tomorrow as she shares a heartfelt post on how she maintains her emotional well-being as a SAHM.

Need more survival tips? Read them all here from all of us on The Gingerbread Mum’s Blog Train!

This post is part of a blog train hosted by The Gingerbread Mum where 31 stay-at-home mums share their survival tips. We hope that you’ll find our tips useful and remember that you’re not alone!

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