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Ben Kao Everyday fun! Fatherkao loves... Milestones and growing up What to Expect... As a Mother

From two to four, of toys and more

November 25, 2013

This post chronicles my son’s development over the years, particularly his changing obsessions with toys and characters.

This post is written for parents with little boys – I’d like to offer you a glimpse of what you might encounter the next few years raising your son.

This post is about the many phases of boys and their toys, and what weekly emails from parenting websites like Baby Center never warned you.

~~~

Vehicles of every kind

At two, my firstborn was crazy about construction vehicles. As soon as he started talking, he started learning the different names of the huge trucks he saw on the roads – excavator! concrete mixer! dump truck! he would try to say.

First trucks

And so very quickly he got himself a whole load of these toy vehicles to play with.

A few months later, he started liking trains. He became fascinated with someone called Thomas and all his (goddamn expensive) creepy round-faced friends. He got an entire collection of die cast trains for Christmas that year.

Thomas and friends

When he turned three, his obsession with cars started, which very incidentally, also got his father (the bigger boy) extremely excited. They started amassing Tomica die casts and building tracks of all kinds, which very quickly consumed them to the point of obsession. They would sit together to watch cars move from Point A to B after building those massive car tracks that take up half the space in the living room for hours on end.

Car track

Unfufilled childhood dreams

I never understood the point of it, but apparently, it was like being in car heaven for these boys.

Handy Benji

After the car phase, Ben’s curiosity with tools began, in part because he started watching a series called Handy Manny on Disney Junior and in part due to observing his father work with tools to build the stuff we bought from IKEA.

Tools

And just like that, I suddenly had a handy little man at home overnight, “working” with hammers, screwdrivers and spanners. It was a very noisy phase indeed as he went knocking around the house all day and night.

Building blocks and Lego

When tools became passé for him, he spent hours creating things from his imagination with his Lego blocks.

Lego

Lego Quadro

He made all sorts of stuff – stuff we can never make out, stuff which existed only in his mind, and a whole range of playthings from dragons to zoos to carnival grounds. Whenever he came to us to show us what he’s made, we’d say, “Wow, that’s amazing! What’s that?” but it never deterred him from making more and fuelling our own imagination too.

Dinosaurs, wild cats and animals of all kinds

Between playing Lego and sometimes revisiting earlier obsessions like his toy cars and tools, Ben started getting curious about animals, particularly those prehistoric giants that have gone extinct a long time ago.

Dinos

That was when we threw him a dinosaur party. That was when I also had a challenging time learning all those five-syllable names of dinosaurs talking dinos with him all day long (oh yes, the pterodactyl flies! oh wow the acrocanthosaurus ate these! watch out, here comes the nedoceratops!). I’m telling you, the dino phase was the one most tiring ever! I’m actually secretly hoping Nat skips that cos’ I ain’t wanna name another dinosaur ever in my life.

At four, Ben moved from dinosaurs to animals – farm animals, zoo animals, safari animals. There was this time he was particularly interested in big wild cats. Ask him now and this boy can tell you the difference between a leopard, cheetah and puma. Ask him now and he can also tell you also why the tiger and the lion are both kings in their own respect. He knows where these cats live, what they eat and their different characteristics. Because of his interest in animals, he’s pored over many encyclopaedic books all by himself at home and at the library just to learn more about them.

Animals

Bam! Bam! Bam! Kababoom!

Nerf battle

Ah yes, weapons. How can I forget? Sword, shield, bow and arrow, oh yes, and GUNS. So my four-year-old, together with his sister and baby brother now, are so into them. In the beginning, I was one determined mother who swore that I would never allow my kids to play with toy weapons. Not even water guns in the pool. Everyone has an informal causation theory that playing with guns leads to aggression and violence, and I am one big believer of this theory. Unfortunately for me, and fortunately for the kids, their father thinks otherwise. “No link!” he says. “This is what boys play!”

And that was how I lost the battle against weapons.

Actually, what made me not insist any longer was this piece of research I found online:

According to Michael Thompson, PhD, child psychologist and author of It’s a Boy!  Your Son’s Development From Birth to Age 18, children learn how to control impulses, delay gratification, think symbolically, and view things from another’s perspective through imaginary games. Play also allows children to act out their fears and aspirations. “As a little boy, you’re not very powerful,” Thompson says. “With a gun, you feel powerful and heroic.” According to Thompson, it’s really about dominance and heroism, winning and losing, and who gets to be the good guy in the end. Of course, when there’s hurt and aggression involved, that must be stopped by the adult.

So the kids started playing with Nerf guns with their father (I shared here about Fatherkao making dinosaur target boards to play with the kids, and it was great for hand-eye coordination!), “smiting” one another with swords and learning how to defend themselves with shields and playing with bows made of plastic and arrows that had suction cups.

Sword play

Ben the Knight

Ben also started watching the animation series Mike the Knight and was immersed in a world of bravery and chivalry, and dreamt of knighthood day and night for months.

More than meets the eye

Transformer fever

Three months shy of his fifth birthday, some creatures that can change their bodies at will have started to dominate his world. Intelligent robots, called Transformers that could think and feel, are now his favourite playthings, and he’s experiencing a fascination with these species of “living robotic beings” with a curiosity and obsession I’ve never seen. He’s fired me with questions after questions about these beings after watching the movie, and finally took out his Transformer toys which he never really could figure out or understand in the past that were given to him as gifts. He now talks to them and about them all the time, and functions in a world of Transformer-speak that has a huge invisible sign warning everyone else to keep out.

Transformer love

~~~

As I mentioned, this post is about boys and their many toys. Although I write from my experience with one boy, I’m sure what I’ve shared isn’t just specific to Ben alone.

Comparatively speaking, the little girl doesn’t seem to have obsessions of these varieties. She’s ok with stuffed toys, dolls, girly things and masak-masak play like cooking, cleaning and other domesticated things but has never dwelled on it every single day liking just one particular thing for months! I’ve not ever stereotyped toys for my boys, not at least before they were three. Ben plays with dolls and engages in play activities like cooking and cleaning occasionally with Becks and Nat, but it’s interesting how his preferences and interests have geared towards things with masculine attributes all on its own, and turned into phases of obsessions which are going to be so unique to him to remember his childhood by.

And it’s incredibly amazing how God wired boys. From what I understand, these boys remain, umm, boys, for a long time even in adulthood with bigger, better toys. Quite apparently, the one person that influences Ben’s interests in toys is himself one big boy looking to relive his childhood too. You should see the look on both their faces whenever they are in a toy store. (Right, Fatherkao?) 

I know more exciting times lie ahead as my little boy turns 5, then 6, then 7, and I am thinking the Justice League of Superheroes, war soldiers, and more Transformers already!

Ben Kao Milestones and growing up

Transformer Fever

November 22, 2013

Questions a four-and-a-half-year-old asks his mother about Transformers

Transformer fever

Question 1: How did Optimus Prime become so powerful?

Question 2: Why is there no one driving Optimus Prime?

Question 3: Why is there someone driving Bumblebee?

Question 4: How do the Autobots transform? What buttons do they press on themselves?

Question 5: Do they run on batteries or electricity?

Question 6: Why are there bad guys to fight?

Question 7: How did the Decepticons come about?

Question 8: Why must there be bad guys?

Question 9: Do the good guys fight among themselves?

Question 10: Why can’t we just have a movie only with the good Transformers?

~~~

Mom’s answer to her four-and-a-half-year-old: I am not a boy. I don’t watch Transformers. -_-

Becks Kao Ben Kao Family life as we know it Parenting 101

The strangeness (and kindness) of strangers

October 9, 2013

My kids are well trained in Stranger Education. They are wary by nature, so it’s not difficult at all to teach them the basics. Never talk to strangers. Say hi only when Mom and Dad tell you to. Familiar faces around our estate are ok – you can wave or smile or say hi, but never tell them where you live or open the door to let them in. Never accept chocolates and candies from people you don’t know. Never follow anyone who tells you that he knows your mother or father. If anyone tries to take you by force, scream as loud as you can.

The kids still get waved at and Nat gets stroked and touched by random strangers a lot, especially when we are on board the bus on our way to and from school. I usually tell them to be polite and smile because it would make their day, especially the old folks that try to befriend them. But they usually go, Huh why… they are strangers what.

Today, on the way to school, an old man who was sitting opposite us on a single decker bus couldn’t stop waving at Becks. He was unkempt and had the most eerie toothless grin. Becks was, of course, beyond horrified and refused to look at him. I didn’t insist she smile or wave. I made her and Ben put on their sunglasses and look out of the window.

Very unfriendly mother here, I know.

When we were preparing to alight, the man was still waving. He kept smiling and his toothless grin was now beyond eerie. It was annoying. We got down the bus, and boy, was I glad for sunglasses.

When we reached kindy, Ben exclaimed that he had lost his toy cow. He’s been taking one animal from his stash of animal toys to school every day to show his Chinese teacher because he’s learning about animals this term. I know it is a bad idea – to allow a four-year-old to be always bringing something to school – but I couldn’t deny him of that enthusiasm he suddenly found in learning Chinese. So I let him bring one out, provided he held on to it and not lose it.

We searched for the cow in his bag and couldn’t find it. He must have left it on the bus! I proceeded with a lecture on taking care of things and expressed my anger at his irresponsibility. So off to school he went, and in a huff I left, only to meet the same toothless, eerily-grinning old uncle as I crossed the road. He smiled at me and this time, he waved and spoke. He said he found the toy which we left behind and passed it to someone in the church. He asked me to hurry back to get it. I thanked him and asked if he had specially alighted and walked all the way back just to return Ben’s toy. He smiled and said in Mandarin, “It’s ok, I can wait for another bus.”

I ran back with the baby. There was no one in sight back at the kindy. I searched for the cleaners who usually sat at the pews facing the road – nope, no one around. Then from a distance, I saw Ben’s toy cow standing on a table, in the middle of nowhere. There it was, thanks to the kindness of a stranger.

When I left the kindy the second time, I walked past the uncle again who was still waiting for a bus. He had alighted, walked a bus stop back just to return a masak masak that belonged to a child he didn’t know (who has a mother that judged his appearance and sister who didn’t wave back). I apologised for his inconvenience and thanked him again. He said he found the toy after we alighted and thought my child would definitely want it back. And so he did what he did.

And I did what I had to do. I made Nat call him ‘Uncle’ and had the baby hi-five him to make his day. I hope it made his, because the kindness in his strangeness certainly made mine.

Cow

Becks Kao Ben Kao Getting all sentimental now Going Out! Happy days Nat Kao The Kao Kids

Happiest Children’s Day

October 6, 2013

I’ve been a mother for about four and a half years now, but this is the first year I celebrated Children’s Day with my kids.

Children’s Day is a special day; it’s recognized on various days all around the world to honour children globally. As a child, the day was nothing fantastic really; all I could remember was Sharity Elephant and how important it was to give all my pocket money to the less fortunate. It’s not that I didn’t want to give. It was just not a special day at all. But now that I am a mom, it’s especially meaningful for me because I now have the opportunity to celebrate my children. It’s even more meaningful as a stay home mom; in previous years, I had to work on this day and the kids attended childcare and celebrated the day with their teachers. But this year, with no work and no childcare, I could spend this day giving thanks for Ben, Becks and Nat – the loveliest children that God has sent into my world – and remind myself that these children are unique individuals created by God for a purpose. And that despite the blood, sweat, tears and living on the brink of insanity every day, mothering them has been my greatest honour and privilege.

This year, we had a celebration together. With cupcakes. Ben and Becks were like, Huh, how come there’s cake? Whose birthday is it, Mama? Why are you making cake?

I didn’t explain much as to why there was a cupcake made specially for each of them except to sit them down and sing “Happy Children’s Day to you, Happy Children’s Day to you, Happy Children’s Day to my children, Happy Children’s Day to you!” and had them blow the candle, which they did with much delight. The cake ritual was more for me than for them – because I wanted me to have that realization sink deep that one day they wouldn’t be so children anymore to want to blow a candle for no reason and eat a cupcake Mama made.

Celebrate with cupcake

Some day they will grow up.

In the evening, we met with some friends and their lovely children for a picnic against the gorgeous city skyline of Marina Bay at the Marina Barrage to continue our celebrations. The kids ran and played and laughed as the adults picnicked away (and overate). I am sure that deep in our hearts we were all grateful for our beautiful, healthy children who were running after kites, playing ball and squealing at bubbles as we sat there watching them.

Picnic at Marina Barrage

Group picture

Family picture

There’s just so much to celebrate, and while I know we don’t have to wait for Children’ Day every year to count our blessings, this time every year should be an extra special day for every kid to have a blast and for the mother to sit back, enjoy her kid(s) and repeat this ten times to self:

The insanity is worth it.

Becks Kao Ben Kao Enrichment Invites & Tryouts Learning fun! Milestones and growing up Reviews

heART Studio’s Little Masters Workshop Review

September 19, 2013

During the September holidays, Ben and Becks were invited to heART Studio for their Little Masters “Monsters” Workshop Holiday Programme.

I’ve finally found a place who would take in kids their age for art class on an ad-hoc basis. I was a little worried initially if Ben and Becks would do ok in a 2.5-hour drop off class – you know how sticky and whiny they can be without me – but my worries were unfounded because of three impressive factors: experienced teacher, small class size and engaging tasks broken down into parts suitable for young children.

For two and a half hours (including a short 15-minute snack break in between), Teacher Syafiq and his assistant were able to shuttle around effectively to guide the class of 6 children, all aged 3 and 4. Under the teachers’ guidance, they were given clear instructions and specific tasks throughout the session.

I was peering in from the window and this was what I gathered they did for the entire workshop: choose monster, learn about colours, choose background colour, paint background, dry background with hairdryer, paint monster in parts (head, body, eyes, teeth, etc) under guidance – teacher outlines and gets child to paint inside the lines, dry what they’ve painted in parts, and wa la!

Ben and Becks chose a monster and then proceeded to paint part by part

Ben and Becks chose a monster and then proceeded to paint it part by part

And this was one of those very rare times I saw how focused and engrossed my little girl was!

And this was one of those very rare times I saw how focused and engrossed my little girl was!

Monsters on canvas, that’s what they got!

Ben with Teacher Syafiq, who was extremely patient and encouraging, and very good with kids!

Ben with Teacher Syafiq, who was extremely patient and encouraging, and very good with kids!

The little painters and their masterpiece

The little painters and their masterpiece

Ben and Becks loved what they did at the workshop and couldn’t help but to show off their masterpiece the whole day long. They came home and told Fatherkao, Little Nat and the helper that “we painted all this by ourselves, you know” and wanted to display their monsters prominently for everyone to see. They can’t wait to paint again, and are looking forward to doing more art pieces next holiday!

I’m just really glad that had a good time and I didn’t have to clean up any mess.

heART Studio LLP is located at 101 Soo Chow Walk Singapore 575385 |Tel: (65) 6554 7563 | Fax: (65) 6554 7562 | Email: info@heartstudiosg.com | Website: www.heartstudiosg.com

Disclosure: Ben and Becks were very kindly invited to join the Little Masters Workshop in September. We received no monetary compensation for this post and all opinions here are my own and based on the kids’ experience at heART Studio.
Ben Kao Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

In conversation with a four-and-a-half

September 16, 2013

This is the world according to Ben, five months shy of five years.

On twisting my arm, just so he can jump from a slide (this first appeared on my FB status earlier this month):

Ben: Today I jumped from the slide at the playground and my teacher said I cannot do that. But I told them my Mama allow me, you know.

Me: Was it high? Dangerous?

Ben: No la, not high at all. I can fall with my hands la! Also not dangerous what… So why cannot?

Me: Your teachers are worried for your safety. If they say don’t,  listen to them. In school, obey them. At home, you obey me.

Ben: Why in school I don’t need to listen to you?

Me: I’m not there what.

Ben: Why don’t you just call my teachers and tell them, “Ooi, my son can jump from the slide! Why you don’t let him be brave?”

Me: -_-

On having a mother:

Ben: (to everyone listening in the living room one fine morning) Do you know why it’s important we have a mother?

Me: Oh yes, tell me why.

Ben: If we don’t have a mother, who’s going to teach us? Have lessons with us? Help us?

Me: Yea, you’re right.

Ben: And also, who’s going to rescue us when bad guys take us away?!?

Me: Yea, who?

Ben: You la, Mama!

On losing his mother:

Ben: Will you die, Mama?

Me: Umm… (thinking hard where this question is heading)

Ben: Who’s going to look after us if you die?

Me: Umm… You want me to die?

Ben: No! But you will grow old and then you will die right, that’s what you told me about people.

Me: Ah, yes… I will grow old one day.

Ben: Then may I know, who’s going to look after us?!?

Me: My love, when I am old, you’ll be an adult and you’ll be able to look after yourself and others. You don’t need me anymore.

Ben: Will I cry if you die?

Me: I don’t know, you tell me. I think if you love me, you will.

Ben: I think I will. Cos’ I love you so much.

On Jesus, heaven and the animals:

Ben: When we get to heaven, will the animals that are there eat us?

Me: No animal will eat us in heaven.

Ben: Why?

Me: Cos’ they obey Jesus in heaven and Jesus will make sure no animal will hunt you down.

Ben: Woah! Jesus is cool!

On death and heaven:

Ben: When you showed us the flashcards just now, you forgot to ask if we have a father. (I had just flashed them the set of flashcards for family.)

Becks: We have la, it’s called Dada!

Ben: Does Dada have a father?

Me: Yes. But Ye Ye passed away and is now in heaven.

Ben: Why did he pass away?

Me: (thinking how I should explain) Umm…

Ben: He smoked? (Fatherkao once told him that)

Me: Yea…

Ben: Aiya, why did he smoke?

Me: I don’t know…

Ben: Maybe people taught him?

Me: Maybe.

Ben: And maybe he wished to explore heaven! You know, heaven is so cool right! Can meet God and Jesus!

Me: Yea, maybe. I have no answers for this.

Ben: Aiya, why some things you have answers and some things you have no answers?

On heaven, why we aren’t there and living life:

Ben: If heaven is so nice, why are we not there?

Me: Hmm… Good question. We will be there one day, but till then, we’ve got things to do on earth.

Ben: Like what?

Me: Like live our lives?

Ben: To do what?

Me: To enjoy our lives, and help people.

Ben: Oh yes, that’s why we must go Disneyland and many countries for holidays! And if I want to help you in the house, you cannot say no ah!

Me: -_-

Welcome to Ben’s world, and my life with a really inquisitive child.

Ben at four half

(Self) Examination Ben Kao Mommy guilt Re: learning and child training

Four is a tricky number

August 29, 2013

The fourth birthday brings with it a whole new set of challenges to parenting. Raising a four-year-old is tiring business in motherhood.

The tantrums and meltdowns have returned, but unlike those tantrums that we’ve seen and heard during the Terrible Twos – they are now “emo” tantrums, which are much much more easily triggered by small, insignificant things.

Ben has become the resident “emo” guy in the house. When things don’t go his way, when he perceived that he’s being bullied, when he feels a sense of unfairness – he goes to a corner of the house, folds his arms, and sulks. Sometimes in his sulking, he mumbles gibberish to himself. When I check on him and ask what he’s saying, he tells me with resentment in his face, “Nothing.”

When he is disciplined – and usually for disobedience and bullying his siblings – he becomes ten times more “emo”. I hardly use the cane to discipline him; usually a time-out would suffice. And while at time-out, he does the you-don’t-love-me-anymore and pulls the wailing nobody-cares-about-me stunt on me. He whimpers and sobs in his most pathetic, and I have to admit, it sounds so pitiful that it breaks my heart. For him, the physical separation of needing to sit apart from everyone in solitude drives him nuts and he gets very emotional about it.

I have a very sensitive firstborn, I tell you.

Then there’s the incessant questioning and the unwillingness to listen. Every minute he’s thinking of questions to ask and he’s asking even while you’re answering the first question. He’s not listening to your answers; he just wants to keep asking all the questions popping in his head. I sometimes get very annoyed because he keeps asking questions for the sake of asking, and I turn Tiger Mom on him and make him repeat all my answers to all his questions just so that he would listen and not irritate the hell of out me for questioning for questioning’s sake. There are also days when I go “I don’t know” on him, and unfortunately for me, I’m now reaping what I sowed because lately, he’s been using “I don’t know” on me whenever I quiz him about what he learned in school, how he slept the night before, and all the other questions parked under the mothering-my-child category.

Argh.

Four years old is an age of contradictions.

He waffles between insecurity and wanting to exert his independence. He talks about conquering the world, yet, shies away socially and loses that bravado at times. He makes up lots of stories, and stubbornly refuses to acknowledge the difference between fact and fiction – which becomes really tricky when I’m trying to teach him academically. I find it very hard to teach him Science stuff cos’ he’ll insist what he imagines to be right – and this again frustrates me a lot. He can be very demanding (how come you don’t know all the answers, Mama?) but also eagerly cooperative and helpful, rude one moment but also very sorry and sweet the next , and incredibly selfish, yet sensitive and sympathetic at times.

I’ve been very much a ferocious Tiger Mom these days when it comes to my four-year-old. He seems to have this innate ability to push me to the outer edge of my patience. I turn into a growling and critical mother who over-reacts every time he does what he does best – being a four-year-old. I’m frustrated, angry and drained almost every day.

~~~

But I didn’t write this post to only detail the challenges of raising a four-year-old. More than that, I’m writing to remind myself to look beyond the challenges that come with raising children at every stage that I am blessed with a four-year-old who’s curious about the world, enthusiastic about life, brimming with energy and experiencing all sorts of emotions that’s part of growing up. I’m writing to remind myself that beyond wishing that this too shall pass, to remember the now – the now that I may never get to see after the fifth birthday is celebrated and the candles are blown out – and not get too caught up in the daily grind and seeing mothering my four-year-old as a big task to accomplish.

I’m writing this to remind myself because Ben feels that I don’t love him anymore. He just told me that on the bus on our way to kindergarten. He says,”I don’t know” when I asked him if he knew that I loved him very much. That broke my heart. What he feels matter, and I have, in a bid to parent him with all the challenges that come, managed to work him like a big task to accomplish and forgotten that this boy has feelings too. When I blow it, holler at him and overreact, I push him away; I forget that he’s just being four.

I have busied myself with trying to cope with him being four (and his sister being three, and the impending Terrible Two that’s approaching with Nat) for too long that I’ve forgotten to love. To love him for who he is. Just like I’ve done when he was one year old, two, and three. And to roll with life’s punches and adapt as motherhood presents new challenges. Not react all the time and alienate the ones I wish to be firmly attached to for the rest of our lives.

Six more months before he blows out five candles. Six more month to love him while he is still four.

Becks Kao Ben Kao Going Out! Invites & Tryouts Reviews

Review: Hey Little Mousedeer!

August 4, 2013

In an earlier post which I wrote when I gave away tickets to the drama-musical Hey Little Mousedeer!, I mentioned that this production couldn’t have come at a better time.

Set in the rainforest, the drama-musical promises to take us on a journey of discovering our region’s colourful heritage, and to teach us valuable lessons about saving the environment, bravery and facing the consequences of one’s own actions. I was really looking forward to bringing the kids for this production so we can learn a thing or two about conserving our environment with the haze crisis that happened a month ago.

What I didn’t expect was that this production also did me a big favour by teaching my kids the valuable lesson of honesty and sincerity in friendship.

We caught the production at the very comfortable and cosy Alliance Française Theatre on Saturday.

Hey Little Mousedeer

In the 50-minute play, we met Sang Kancil, a crafty little mousedeer who loved to trick the animals in the forest. In a bid to show how quick-witted and clever he can be, he was often proud and disrespectful, which annoyed and offended the other forest creatures like Cicak, Monyet Besar, Monyet Kecil and Harimau. They weren’t too pleased to be made fools by the mousedeer all the time and came up with a plan to teach him a lesson. Sang Kancil did eventually learn his lesson when the other animals banished him to the forest fringe, and that was where he witnessed deforestation and forest fires taking place. He returned to warn his friends and although they found it hard to believe him, they eventually heeded his warning and escaped danger.

It was like the story of the boy who cried wolf retold in another context, and this production taught Ben and Becks (besides respecting our environment) that you need to treat your friends with respect and honesty, and not play tricks on them. And that even if you were so clever, you needn’t be haughty!

This couldn’t have come at a better time cos’ these two kids are at this phase where they have plenty of tricks up their sleeves for each other, and I’m glad they learned a precious lesson from Sang Kancil himself!

There was a lot of laughter and fun as the five characters told the story about the clever little mousedeer and his adventures. The production was staged based on a selection of regional folklore and these classic stories came to live through brilliant acting and catchy songs. Becks was singing the ‘one silly crocodile’ song after the show, to my amazement, and Ben was recounting the scenes in the play that made him laugh while on our way home. We were also given a story book (in English and Chinese) titled The Mousedeer’s Adventures and Other Stories for keeps, and I was glad to be able to read about Sang Kancil and Sang Buaya to the kids before the show, and the rest of the stories after.

Hey Little Mousedeer storybook

All in all, we had a wonderful time on a lovely Saturday afternoon. Thank you for inviting us, and for sponsoring the giveaway, I Theatre!

Hey Little Mousedeer Cast

More details on I Theatre:
  • I Theatre is a non-profit organization which exists to create top quality theatre for children and families. Since April 2008, I Theatre has been a registered charity and an Institute of Public Character. It relies almost entirely on ticket sales to support its work of four quality productions annually. You can also make a donation to their ‘Theatre For All’ scheme which supports needy charitable groups who cannot afford to watch I Theatre’s shows by giving them free or discounted tickets. To support ‘Theatre For All’, email team@itheatre.org.
  • I Theatre’s next production, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, will be staged at the Drama Centre Theatre at the National Library Building from 1 – 17 November 2013. (Recommended for ages 4 and above.)

P/S: You can still catch Hey Little Mousedeer! from now till 6 August 2013. Tickets available at Sistic.

Disclosure: Ben, Becks and I were given media passes to watch Hey Little Mousedeer! and all opinions in this post are my own.

Ben Kao Homelearning fun Learning fun! Milestones and growing up Re: learning and child training

Learning hiccups at four half: selective memory?

July 23, 2013

Lately, it’s been quite frustrating teaching Ben. He seems unfocused and is having trouble learning how to read. His memory also seems to fail him at times, and all these has gotten me pretty worried.

I’ve always known him to be someone with excellent memory. I mean, are you kidding me? This boy can rattle off the names of the characters in Mike the Knight just by watching one episode, can remember all the promises you made him and which day he gets his privileges. When he was in childcare, he knows everyone’s names in his class (English, Chinese and first names) and is the only in school who could at three years old.

I seriously don’t think he’s got bad memory.

What I think is the problem? Selective memory, methinks, especially when it comes to what he wishes to remember in academic learning.

For example, he can be writing a simple word 15 times in his jotter book and still not be able to spell the word immediately after. Every day, after kindy, when I ask him to tell me one thing he’s learned at school, he would have problems recalling. Sometimes, he would even make it up. But I am his mother, and I know the look in his eyes whenever he’s not telling me the truth. So I’d call his bluff, game’s over, and he would have to try harder to recall at least one thing he’s learned. It’s a brain exercise I make him do every day without fail on the bus. I just don’t get it – he remembers what he had for lunch in school but just can’t tell me ONE thing he’s been taught! Perhaps he wasn’t paying attention in class. Which could also explain why he doesn’t remember.

It gets even more frustrating when I try to get him to read. He’s already learned to blend words using the phonics way and has also learned to read some words by sight. Sight word reading has also been quite frustrating to teach so far. And far too often, when left on his own to read a book, he gives up quickly, closes the book in haste, and declares he doesn’t know how to read it. We’re talking about graded readers here, not some encyclopedic collection explaining the workings of the universe and the properties of matter. Some of these graders have been read and reread to him over months! I know he’s just hoping that when he says ‘I don’t know’ that I’ll read it (again) to him. Which I do. I never passed on an opportunity to read to my children. In fact, I have explored the 50 ways to help a child learn to read! Oh trust me, I have done them most and more!

Just last week, Ben brought a book (a graded reader for his level) home from the school library and we read it together, just like any new book we get our hands on. I taught him the new words in the story (about a family wanting a new dog) and he attempted reading it several times. All was good except that he just couldn’t remember that the boy in the story was called ‘Kipper’. We tried all sorts of ways to make him remember – blending the word, repeating it (almost) a hundred times – in the end, everyone, even Becks knew the boy’s name. Everyone but Ben. Whenever we asked him for the boy’s name, he would say ‘Kim’ or ‘Kimper’. By the third day, I was yelling, “KIPPER!!! HIS NAME IS KIPPER!!!” every time we came to that word.

The new word in the book was ‘Kipper’ but he couldn’t seem to remember it. I think I was more frustrated than he was.

I know it’s all in the training and I am teaching him to have a positive attitude about learning so as to overcome his selective memory. I also try to make learning as fun as possible, but sometimes it’s hard to get by without telling him harshly the importance of being serious and focused. And I definitely need to work harder in my patience department, that’s for sure! If you have any comments on how I can help my child, I’d be glad to hear from you.

Till then, I’m going back to good old simple readers to be read consistently and frequently, and have ordered what I know that has helped thousands of children, me included, all over the world:

Peter&Jane Ladybird Readers

Good ol’ Peter and Jane. He’s going to have to start with Key Words with Peter and Jane, the classical way of learning how to read and write. No more fanciful ‘Kipper’ readers for now.

I am glad to be able to stay home and observe the way my children learn, and discover their strengths and weaknesses. If I were to continue working full-time, these little things would probably go unnoticed. I’m glad for this opportunity (thank you, fatherkao), and am praying for wisdom every day to help the kids learn and realize the fullest of their potential.

Ben Kao Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

Knight Fever

July 4, 2013

So the kids were home today cos’ the morning session folks from kindy went off for a field trip. It was drizzling the whole day and after a whole morning of reading and playing, I decided to switch the TV on for the kids. So I flipped the channel to Disney Junior (something which I’ve not done for a very long while) and there was this CG-animated series called Mike the Knight.

Mike the Knight

Photo credit: bbc.co.uk

My son couldn’t get enough of it.

He’s already starting to be a little fanatical about dragons and vikings, ever since he watched How to Train Your Dragon some time ago when he and his father had some special time together, and now, this animated series is getting him really excited about medieval times, fire-breathing dragons and knighthood.

~~~

After the show…

Ben: Mama, when we go out later, I am not going out as Ben. I’m going as a knight – Mike, the Knight.

Me: Alright, buddy. I’m sure you are. But it’s drizzling so we aren’t going out. You’ll have to be Ben.

Ben: Huh? Sigh.

A while later…

Ben: Mike the Knight has a horse. I am a knight, and I need a horse. Who’s going to be my horse?

*Silence*

Becks: …erm, ok lor, ME!

Ben: Huh? You’re going to be a very small horse… Sigh.

In the evening… Finally going downstairs 

Ben: Mama, can I bring my sword and my bow? I’m Mike the Knight, y’know. I need to bring all these things.

Me: I see you have your sword stuffed inside your pants and your bow hanging on your bicycle already.

Ben: Ya!

(In the end, he brought his toy bow along cos’ he couldn’t pedal his bike with the sword stuffed in his pants behind his butt!)

Before bed…

Ben: Mama, I’m dreaming about Mike the Knight.

Me: Ben, you’re not asleep yet. How can you be dreaming?

Ben: Yea, it’s very special one. I tell you how. I PAUSE it inside my head, then when I go to sleep, I’m going to PLAY it! Then I’m dreaming lor!

Goodnight, my knight. It’s amazing how one TV programme has gotten you so thrilled about knighthood the whole day, and even wishing that you’ll dream about it at night!

Welcome to Ben’s World, at four-and-a-half!