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(Self) Examination Milestones and growing up Mommy guilt The Kao Kids Thunderstorm days

Three changes to make starting today

May 26, 2014

There are three things I’d like to change in this house to keep tempers from flaring, fights from starting and resentment from building.

So I’ve told the kids that starting from today we are going to…

#1 Look at each other’s eyes when we speak

#2 Hug A LOT, like ten times a day

#3 Change our understanding of what a time-out means in this house

I realised that amongst the kids they don’t look at each other much when they talk. And between me and the kids, we don’t make much eye contact anymore. I bark a lot of orders from a distance, and even when I say goodnight, I’m practically just spacing out with my back turned against them, facing the littlest whom I’m almost always nursing at bedtime. Their father, on the other hand, constantly reminds them to look at him when he is talking to them, and from what I am observing, the dynamics between them and their father is one of greater respect and better communication.

It took me a while before it finally dawned on me that I have allowed familiarity to set in to breed a good deal of contempt, that we’re taking each other’s presence for granted, and that I have forgotten that one of the many ways to show love to children is to give them lots and lots of eye contact.

Yep, no excuse here. So you can ahead and smack me on the head.

Also, recently I came across this on FB which made me re-evaluate the ‘when’ in giving my hugs.

I hug the kids when I send them off to school. So that’s about only once a day for Ben and Becks and twice a week for Nat. They go for enrichment lessons twice a week, and so that’s another two more hugs. Within a day, I hardly hug them. Ben is so tall now and sometimes when he pounces on me as if to give me a hug, I get annoyed. Nat makes me carry him all the time when we are out and I “hug” him almost reluctantly. Becks hug me from behind on occasions like this – like now when I’m sitting at a desk with my laptop typing this post – and she takes every chance to play hairdresser and I get irritated when she yanks too much hair out while combing.

So these poor children don’t get enough hugs for survival and are even deprived of opportunities to show love.

What a terrible Mommy they have – is what you must say. Go ahead, you can smack me on the head again.

So I’m going to fulfil their hugs quota everyday from today onwards. I don’t care if I need to do this religiously like a Mommy rule to follow – I will have to do it. And I told the kids to give one another as many hugs as they can too. Instead of fighting and pushing and getting angry with one another – which occurs often – let’s try hugging.

I gave them permission to shout ‘group hug’ whenever they need it and we’ll all try to drop whatever we’re doing and come from where we are to give it.

We need to hug at least four times and ideally ten times a day.

Lastly, I’ve going to elevate the status of time-outs at home. No, it WILL NO LONGER be a form of punishment. It will not be about isolating you from the rest of the family because you’re misbehaving. I’m not going to use the cane at a time-out too. I told the kids that whenever I see them losing control, they go for a time-out. And no, it’s not a punishment. It’s not something bad. It’s not even because you’ve done wrong although you might have been wrong. It’s just because you lost control and you need to breathe and calm down. That’s all.

And when they see Mama lose control, they can also ask Mama to go for a time-out because she needs to breathe and calm down and stop hyperventilating, yelling and flailing her arms.

Yea, we’ll be as open as we can that way from now on.

Let’s hope these little changes would improve some things at home, fill their love tanks up and make our home a lovelier one than it already is.

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(Self) Examination Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids Thunderstorm days

My kids don’t think I’m great anymore

May 20, 2014

A few days ago, I hit an all-time low in my SAHM-hood. I was inconsolable (and still am now) and had to mope around for a couple of days before bracing myself to write this post.

It all started with this book:

I’ve read this book to the kids like what, more than 10 times at least, since we had it and the children enjoy the pictures and the heartwarming story in this book by Giles Andreae about all the reasons why the little boy loves his mummy.

The book ends with this, and usually, we’d end our reading of this story with a big group hug and the kids telling me how much they love me:

Until a few nights ago when the kids told me, after the story ended, (and I quote Ben and Becks) that their mummy “is not that great” because “she canes us and shouts at us” and that their mummy is more “lousy” than the mummy in the book who is “so fun” to play with.

When I asked them to explain further and asked if their mommy caned and scolded them for no reason (I spoke as the third person), they said, “Our mummy cane us because we are naughty. But why must she do that? Just tell us nicely lah!”

And even after explaining that it’s a mummy’s role to discipline her children – and even the Bible says that sometimes we need to use the rod to chase foolishness away from a child – they still believed that kind of mummy is “not a good mummy”, not like the one in the book we read so often.

After being exasperated for a while, instead of breaking down as I should with tears already welling up in my eyes, I threw a big adult tantrum, told them to go to bed and to find another mummy. I hinted that I may go back to full-time work afterall, because it seemed like my being around them was not appreciated.

Both of them looked at me, with their eyes wide open, and asked me where they can buy a new mummy. Becks also asked if I could go back to work and hire more aunties to take care of them instead.

***

Quite a blow for the stay-home mum ego, isn’t it? Needless to say, I was horribly shaken by what the kids talked about, and what they could conceive in their minds – that they actually wanted to buy a new mum or even entertained the thought of getting others to replace their mum. At that moment I felt that my two years of sacrifice of staying home has all been for nought. Clearly, they are taking the mum presence for granted; they are seeing me around too much to be actually feeling some tinges of contempt that come with familiarity. I mean, if I were working full time, we’d probably treasure those few hours of seeing one another after a day’s work a lot more. I’ll probably scold them less, let them get away with a lot more things, and make the helper clean up after them more often than not.

Because of the fact that I’ve stayed home, and the recent episode of being maid-less for almost three weeks, they’re witnessing before their eyes how their own mother handles stress and adjusts to the unpredictable situations that life throws our way (which isn’t the best, of course); plus the fact that they are at the age where child-training has to take place so that they learn to be independent, I also tend to do more nagging and scolding than praising and encouraging (which is entirely the way I’ve been wired).

And have you seen the way the kids just complete ignore me whenever I give instructions like “Pack up your toys”, “Don’t litter Lego blocks on the floor”, “Please wear your shoes and get ready to go” and I get at least a whole ten minutes of lag time? Which is TOTALLY ANNOYING. I don’t know what else to do but to raise my voice and holler so that I can get things going.

So the kids think this is totally uncool and that Mama is lousy compared to the storybook mum who probably never yells at her kiddo and always smothers him with cuddles.

***

So, as I was saying, I moped around for some time before finally sitting down to write this. I did a lot of thinking after hearing what the kids said to me. It’s true, motherhood really sometimes brings out the worst in me. I scare myself on those days when I lose it; and I probably would never know this awful side of me if I hadn’t stayed home. It makes me wonder if this is all worth it. I could take the easy way out, spoil them silly and just leave the care-giving to full-day daycare. I mean, that is SO doable. I tell you, working (where I previously came from) is definitely much easier than being home with three young children. Why am I doing this, having to show my worst to the kids on crazy days where there’s chores to be done, disobedient children screaming the house down, tantrums to handle, crayons littering the floor, urine stains on the toilet bowl and toilet paper stuffed in every visible corner in the house?

What’s the point?

Of course, it is also silly to take the things that a five-year-old and four-year-old say too seriously. Why, they are children, and they’d say the darndest anyway. The adult at the receiving end should be bigger, in every sense of the word, and be the bigger, better person in handling the “feedback” and be tough enough to soldier on. Afterall, these are the things a mother has to bear.

***

The kids have assured me that they still love me, and Ben has, through tears, told me that he wants me to stay home still. He seems to fear that I might chuck him in childcare and never caring for him ever again; and I am mindful not to say things that would scar him. Becks still wants me to go back to work, because that to her will solve the “Mama has no money” problem, and so she says, which means I can buy her lots of things to eat and stuffed toys to play with, something which her present thrifty stay-home mother does not indulge her in.

I guess it’s still onward with this stay-home journey, albeit with a little discouragement. I’m choosing to believe that I can try to be a nicer person when stress gets in my way and that the kids were probably stressed out too the past three weeks of us being without live-help such that they don’t like the mother that has become the horrible-always-barking-Mom-maid that they are seeing.

It must have been also tough for them to have to put up with me the past weeks.

At least, I am still loved. Even though I am horrible.

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Close encounters with the maid kind Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

No more maid woes (for now) – phew!

May 19, 2014

Life’s back to normal at last.

We’ve been without live-in help for 3 weeks and let’s just say, although it’s a good thing to be hands-on once in a while and do everything ourselves, there are mundane chores that can be outsourced so that time can be better spent doing more meaningful things. Afterall, what’s the use of folding clothes for the third time in the day with the kids, and having to re-fold what you tasked them to do because they still can’t do the folding properly just yet?

These 3 weeks have been nothing but exhausting. It’s not so much of the chores, if I come to think of it, it’s more of having to put up with the whining, the sticking (these are clingy children sometimes) and constant quibbling with NO ONE in the day to share your load.

I was supposed to be only maid-less for about a week, but something happened to the domestic helper who came recommended. She chickened out at the medical examination back in her home country; I heard she grabbed her suitcase and was never heard of again. So much for having cold feet.

After receiving this bad news, I looked through a couple more bio datas and interviewed some promising ones only to be rejected in my face. These days, for help that comes from a particular nationality, they choose you instead of vice versa. I seem to fall into the category of being the worst in the lot: three young children, no maid room to offer, employer (that is me) stays home (and so can watch her like a hawk); that plus I also requested that the helper be compensated for off days for the first year which made the search even trickier. Fatherkao was joking that we’d probably get people willing to work for us when our youngest turns 7, when we move to a landed property and when I return to a full-time job.

Bah.

So after some time of praying and hoping, someone finally agreed to come, and we were more than happy to have her. Our present domestic helper came last week and I am glad to say, she’s a great extension of my hands and feet. She came and cleaned and the last I know, everything from the kitchen larder to book shelves and toy boxes have been sorted and organised. There are no more communication breakdowns and I don’t have to teach her to do anything (she can read instruction manuals, labels, and knows how to operate appliances, thank God!). She can practically run the household now, and can even have conversations with the children and read them story books. Becks has been waking up early to be with her, asking her to tie her hair and reading her her princess stories, and although I have to share my children’s love with someone else now, it’s great to be doing my own things once in a while.

So excuse me while I go sip some coffee. I’ve been gulping my cuppas down for 3 weeks and it’s nice to be finally tasting my lattes.

Life just got better.

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I ♥ lists Milestones and growing up Parenting 101 The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

The A-Z Guide to staying home

May 13, 2014

This is the second year I’m staying home and it’s been nothing but crazy still. Many people have asked me how I survive on a daily basis, and what my secret is. I wish I could say vodka, but heh no, I don’t drink and have yet to give that to my kids to knock them out.

Although that’s a really tempting thought on really insane days.

Well, I’m still surviving (but barely breathing!) and I’m joining The Gingerbread Mum‘s blog train where she invited 31 stay-home moms to share their survival tips – one mom for each day for the month of May.

So here’s my very own tips – from A-Z – featuring all the things I do / use / need to make it through the madness. There’s no secret, really, but I hope some things in this list can help you make it through each day as they have helped me make it through mine.

You’re welcome.

Motherkao’s A-Z Guide to Staying Home: things you will need and places you must go

Activity books

Activity books can keep young children occupied for quite a while; even the littlest would colour away happily whenever he gets one. Value for money, and great investment in exchange for at least 5 minutes of silence (and longer if the kid is older). You can get these for less than $4 at fairs and mobile booths in shopping malls

I keep the kids iPad and iPhone-free with these

Balloons

Believe it or not, I buy balloons from the party section in the supermarket. I buy many packets and use balloons to distract the littlest and to break up fights. I get the kids to choose a colour and they love to watch in anticipation while I blow each balloon, one by one, and then I make them volley the balloons and chase them. And while they do that, I can catch a shut-eye for a minute at least.

Chocolates

I stash a few boxes of After Eight in the fridge and sneak a few pieces in my mouth whenever I feel I’m losing it. You already know chocolates are a great cure for depression and insanity, right?

Disney Junior

Channel 311 on Starhub TV, oh, that’s a godsend babysitter. The kids like almost everything on it, from Doc McStuffins and Sophia the First to Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Now that we’re without a helper, this channel gives me my toilet break and some me-time in the shower. For another awesome babysitter recommendation, refer to the Letter N.

Espresso machine

One of the best things in our kitchen and worth every single cent we sunk in. Think the smell of coffee filling the air in the mornings and freshly brewed lattes that are kind to the stomach. I’ve said goodbye to 3-in-1 and its horrible aftertaste forever since we bought one. If coffee makes you happy, consider investing. We use a Philips Saeco.

Foot rubs

I don’t get to go for these anymore at those koyok-smelling places in the heartlands. No time, no money to buy packages anyway. But I give myself these rubs on my feet once in a while with nice smelling essential oils for a perk-me-up. FYI: your two big toes are connected to your cerebrum so remember to rub hard and press in when you think you’re losing your head.

Grapes

Best.fruit.ever. to give to kids. No need to cut, no need to wash plates or utensils. Just give them a good rinse with skin on and kids get vitamins, fibre and natural sugar.

Husband!

This word deserves a thousand exclamation marks if space allows. He’s your tag-team partner and the one who has to bear all your complaints after a hard day of you staying home. Be nice to him (so he’ll be ready to listen and empathise), always ask how his day was first, and squeeze his shoulders for a bit before you unload.

H is for Husband, the best tag-team partner ever

Ikea’s Småland

Ever since Nat can enter this place (he’s finally 92cm!), I’ve been going there at least once a month to “deposit” the kids while I get at least one hour of me-time and some coffee. Sometimes, I bring a friend who brings her kids and both of us get some adult conversations while the kids play. The best part of this all: IT’S FREE!

Juice

Best “distracting” beverage for the kids – I pour this out a lot whenever they whine for something sweet or I have to throw away candies from goodie bags they get from school. I exaggerate the number of fruits / veggies that they can taste from one sip of the juice – blueberries! grapes! carrots! peaches! apples! – even though it’s usually ‘Mixed Berries’ that they drink (two 1-litre packs for $3.95 from Marigold) and the kids start salivating. Add some ice cubes to make it like a treat! Works wonders every time!

Kdramas

This keeps me going when the going gets rough: the thought of being able to catch one episode – any episode – of something from kdramaland with enough hotness in it after the kids are in bed (Lee Min-ho, I’m looking at you!). Many sites have come, and gone – and failed me – but I’ve found DramaGo and DramaFire to be the most stable for now.

Cannot miss the chance to put a picture of HOT on my blog like a crazy fan girl

Cannot miss the chance to put a picture of HOTNESS on my blog like a crazed fan girl

Library

Place to go where you don’t have to put the books back and organise them by genres (me to OCD self). Place to go when you need to escape from sweltering heat. Place to go so kids can be awed by just how many books there are and to sit comfortably to read. Best place to visit during the school holidays to keep kids occupied.

Mom rules

I have these rules for myself to follow as much as I can. They guide me in the day-to-day handling of the kids and my role as their mother.

Nick Junior

Channel 304! Another terrific babysitter. My kids love this more than the one you read about at the Letter D. I find this channel more educational, slower in pace of moving images, and more engaging. I do still try to limit TV time (but it’s becoming increasingly tough these 2 weeks with no helper) but I really wouldn’t mind them catching the 15-minute segments of the many good shows on this channel – Go, Diego, Go!, Dora the Explorer, Bubble Guppies, Wonder Pets and Ni Hao Kai Lan.

One-pot meals

These help me save time and yet give the kids a meal. I throw frozen prawns, frozen corn and canned pineapples with pineapple rice paste in the rice cooker and we get pineapple rice for dinner. I throw some ribs and lotus in the slow cooker and we get soup. I put in chicken, carrots, potatoes and mushrooms and we get stew. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Playground

When I see the kids getting restless and sense that they need to expend their energy a little, I head on down to the nearest neighbourhood playground. Now that the kids are older, I leave them to play and climb and run while I sit and stone on the bench. Keeps me sane in the evenings too.

Quiet time

Now with the Bible app on my phone, I read the verse of the day and meditate on it throughout the day. For me, it really is crucial to spend time praying. Like the saying goes, prayer IS really the best way to draw strength from heaven.

Running Man

Ooooh! I am addicted to this, and like what you’d read while at the Letter K, the thought of being able to unwind with this after the kids go to bed keeps me going when the going gets tough. On particularly bad days, I find myself needing to watch this to have a good laugh before I sleep. I laugh out loud heartily (this variety show is just TOO funny!), release all the tension of the day, and when I finally feel that the stress is all gone, I go to sleep happy. Running Man *Hwaiting!* !

I catch my Running Man episodes here

Singapore Mom Bloggers

I belong to this wonderful closed group called Singapore Mom Bloggers and we have meaningful virtual connections and friendships online. I share and rant there, and seek advice a lot from the mothers in the group, and having these moms as my friends keeps me sane on crazy stay-home days.

Terminal 3

If the kids need space to run; if you need a decent place to eat out on weekends but don’t want to queue for that long (compared to places in town); if you need to dream of a holiday; if your kids want to be monkeys without you being judged, head on down to Terminal 3. This is our place to go on weekends; and my kids monkey around at the viewing gallery together with many other kids while the parents look out at planes and plan their next getaway.

Updates

I have stopped feeling guilty of scrolling my phone to check status updates on FB and Instagram. Why, I need to connect with people too, I face the kids almost 24/7, y’unno.

Verbal diarrhea

Known fact: women de-stress by talking. Talking helps them connect. Talking helps them unwind. So talk. Talk to husband. Talk to children. Talk to children’s stuffed toys. Talk to children’s school teachers. Talk to furniture. Talk to self. Talk to cleaners, pump attendants, service staff at restaurants and cashiers. TALK. It ALWAYS makes you feel better. Just make sure you won’t have to put your foot in your mouth while at that.

Water play

For hot days. For days they refuse to get in the bath. For days when I need 15 minutes to chill with a cup of tea. I turn on a trickle, throw in lots of plastic cups, bottles, bottle caps, and pails and get them to play while I sit outside the toilet with my cup of tea and watch them. Fun at a small price, and will certainly continue if PUB doesn’t increase our utility fees.

Or places like these also can:

Free fountain fun at Greenwich V

Xerox-ing

Having a printer that can photocopy is extremely helpful. I zap things for the kids to do again and again, like their favourite colouring pages and activity mazes. If you own one of those Grolier Logico sets, the back of each card has an activity which you can xerox for the kids to try.

Young Living’s Essential oils

I’ve tried essential oils from Young Living for close to 6 months now and I am one happy convert. I oil the kids’ soles – and mine and Fatherkao’s – religiously and use the oils for various ailments and aches. They work great for me, by the way, especially Peace & Calming, which soothes me much after a tiring day with the kids.

Zoo (and the River Safari)

Our two default places to go if the weather is good and I have energy (the River Safari is fully sheltered, by the way). These two places never fail to thrill the Kao kids, and they just love the idea of being there looking at animals. Favourite hangouts: Frozen Tundra, Giant Pandas’ Den and Rainforest Kidz World. Oh yes, I’ve calculated that the zoo family membership is worth it if you visit at least 6 times a year. And also, this is the place to go during the school holidays if you’ve run out of things to do.

Love the cool at Kai Kai and Jia Jia’s den at the River Safari

There you have it, a list from A to Z! My favourites are the letters H, K and R. What are yours?

~~~

The next mom on the blog train is Summer, who blogs at A Happy Mum. Summer is a media executive turned SAHM from Singapore who stepped into the gratifying journey of motherhood during her four-year stay in Sweden. It was then she realised that this was her destiny all along and she is now the mother of two lovely girls. She believes that contentment is bliss and that happiness is about making the best of what you have. A Happy Mum is a place where she blogs about motherhood, babies, love, DIY crafts, travelling and all things happy. Join her tomorrow as she shares a heartfelt post on how she maintains her emotional well-being as a SAHM.

Need more survival tips? Read them all here from all of us on The Gingerbread Mum’s Blog Train!

This post is part of a blog train hosted by The Gingerbread Mum where 31 stay-at-home mums share their survival tips. We hope that you’ll find our tips useful and remember that you’re not alone!

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Close encounters with the maid kind Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up Re: learning and child training The Kao Kids The real supermom Thunderstorm days

An unexpected trickle of happiness (nope, not because the new maid is here)

May 2, 2014

I’m bone tired and beyond exhausted, but you know what?

I’m actually very, very happy.

I’ll tell you why I’m happy. First reason.

My kids. It’s beginning to look like they are going to be well-trained.

The new helper was sent back a few days ago, and other than witnessing on the same day their mother morphing into a monster and militant ready for combat right before their eyes – complete with aggressive hollering, arms flailing and the crazy quivering; oh yes, and the often sung refrain at 140 decibels equivalent to a jet plane take-off “I AM ONLY ONE PERSON, THERE’S NO MORE AUNTY OK!”, the kids are pretty much well-adjusted to the fact that there’s only one pair of adult hands, eyes and feet in the day, at least before their father returns.

I think that seeing me react so violently under the stress of suddenly needing to handle everything alone from the moment we wake till the minute everyone hits the sack made Ben and Becks realise that things can’t be what they used to be any more.

The afternoon the helper left, we came home and I started putting things in order. I tidied up, I bathed them, I gave instructions clearly and I prepared dinner. Then we had dinner – and they had to eat every single thing I cooked with no complaints, I washed the dishes, prepped everything ready for school the next day, cleaned them up and tucked them in bed. Things didn’t go smoothly, of course. Nat stuck a Yakult straw in his ear. Someone left the tap running while I got busy. Becks left some pee on the toilet seat. Ben splashed water everywhere showering himself. They made faces at the meal I cooked. Crayons were strewn all over the living room floor. My legs were hugged while I was stir-frying. Nat begged to be nursed while kitchen fumes filled the house. Becks whined for an apple while I was chopping garlic. Nat tried to reach for knives. I could list 50 more things that happened but I don’t want to bore. Basically just three words: the kids happened.

But in the midst of the chaos, the kids happened! Ben took on his role as big brother readily and (sometimes) helped me watch and distract the mischievous littlest. They asked how they could help and by the end of the day we were all at the sink, with me doing the washing and the kids drying the plates and cutlery. All three of them, yes! They promised to help more. They offered to make less of a mess when they played or coloured or drew. They agreed to respond quickly to my commands so that I don’t have to turn into something ugly and start yelling.

By the second day, they were offering help in every way – from folding the clothes to picking up eraser dust and handing me the clothes pegs. They moved quickly when I called, got ready for school without needing help with socks and shoes. They carried their bags and heavy water bottles with no whining, and brought everything back to the sink whenever they were done with drinking and eating. We cleaned up in record time – Lego blocks were picked up and sorted, books were returned to the shelves and crayons back in the basket on the easel.

We conquered mountains (of clothes) together

When we headed out, they held hands and told me not to worry.

The car was at the mechanic and we were bus-ing to school – and this happened!

Can somebody first give me a pat on the back before applauding for these kids?

I’ll tell you the second reason why I’m happy.

The maid’s departure gave me a chance to be my totally OCD self. She came, whirled through my kitchen and made a big mess with my children’s wardrobe. Now that she’s gone, I singlehandedly sorted and organised my children’s clothes – sleepwear, underwear, home wear, going out wear, swimwear – and even managed to categorise everything according to clothes type, colour and size. I turned every single spoon, fork and chopstick in the cutlery tray in the same direction, bundled bedsheets by sets, cleaned out the fridge for expired items and hung out the laundry the way my OCD self would be happy doing. I’m a strange person to be feeling merry just rolling socks the way I want them paired and scrubbing toilets with just one toothbrush, but yes, I am merrily, merrily doing all these.

Now, this is what I’ve been dreaming about, albeit with much muscle ache and terribly wrinkled hands – a house in order at last.

Just proves one point: who’s the BEST maid for my house?

Me.

But that doesn’t mean I am not going to decide against hiring a helper. I’m bone tired and beyond exhausted, remember?

I think this absence of a domestic helper is doing the kids who have been taking many things for granted a whole lot of good. We’ve got two weeks to shape up before a new one comes and I have a feeling we’ll be doing even better by then – to the point that we’ll have a relationship with her that’s interdependent and not dependent, and that is the third reason why I’m happy.

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Everyday fun! Homelearning fun Learning fun! Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

Food, nutrition & some serious fun in the kitchen

April 26, 2014

This month’s homelearning revolved around food and nutrition, and I also took the opportunity to teach my kids two simple skills: using a knife and frying an egg.

We had some serious (oxymoronic) fun, yes.

First, a tour of the kitchen to learn simple vocabulary for egg frying: STOVE, PAN, OIL, EGGS, WOK SPATULA, WHISK.

Then to get acquainted with all the sharp objects in the drawers so they know to handle them with care whenever we need to use them: (from right to left) PEELER, GRATER, KITCHEN SCISSORS, PARING KNIFE, UTILITY KNIFE, COOK’S KNIFE, CHOPPER (hidden in picture)

Homelearning_kitchen tools_sharp objects

Hold on tight: You know they’re a little bit DANGEROUS here!

Then, it’s tofu cutting time since we were going to be having tofu soup that evening anyway. Ben used the utility knife while Becks held the paring knife. I got them to gently touch the blade to understand the concept of “sharp” and had them dice the tofu with their knives.

Next, three eggs out from the fridge for each kid, and cracked into a bowl. Because it was their first, I held their hands to crack it with them. Got them to whisk, then had them pour a little oil, feel for heat about 5cm above the pan and pour in the egg. Then they scrambled them, served some to their father and savoured the remainder.

Scrambling to scramble eggs

On another occasion, we chopped up celery, potatoes and carrots for our vegetable soup. This time round the kids understood that unlike cutting the tofu which was soft and easy, they had to hold on to the vegetables and watch their fingers while they exerted pressure with the knife. I gave the littlest a steak knife and had the helper watch him while I made sure the older two didn’t slice their fingers.

Seriously fun to be chopping and slicing

After we were done, we threw everything in water to boil with chicken bones for soup!

I later asked the kids if they liked what they did – and they were very proud to have helped made a part of our dinner that night. What they shared with me made me realise that I’ve got to gradually learn to empower these kids to pick up age-appropriate skills so they can experience a sense of accomplishment.

I followed up with getting the kids to learn the words CUT, SLICE, KNIFE and VEGETABLES. Ben could easily form three sentences with these helping words, like “I cut with a knife.” / “I slice with a knife.” / “I cut vegetables.” I also got the kids to recount their experience by drawing what they did and then put their drawings up on the gallery so they can tell ‘stories’ to their dad when he returned home.

Recounting what they did with paper and crayons

We also read some books we borrowed from the library to learn the importance of nutrients for our bodies and our growth. These two books scored with the kids, cos’ we got to sing two very funny songs while learning about good food and our taste buds!

“Fabulous Food” and “I Taste Sing and Read” from NLB

Here’s sharing how to sing the two songs with you:

Song 1 – To the tune of Farmer in the Dell

“What makes bones grow?

What makes teeth grow?

Milk and yogurt, cream and cheese,

Calcium makes them grow.

What makes blood strong?

What makes muscles strong?

Fish and spinach, nuts and eggs,

Protein makes them strong.

Why can we move well?

Why can we breathe well?

Wheat and rice, oats and corn,

Carbohydrates keep us well.

We know what to eat,

We know what to eat.

Fruits, vegetables, bread and meat

Now let’s go and eat!”

***

Song 2 – To the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

“Your tongue tells you what tastes sweet

Honey, jam, an ice cream treat

Watermelon, peaches, too

Fresh fruit is so good for you

Your tongue tells a lot, it’s true

Salty, bitter, nasty, too.

Your tongue tells you what tastes sour

Vinegar on cauliflower

Grapefruit, limes and sour cream

Citrus-flavoured jellybeans

Your tongue tells a lot, it’s true

You have taste buds, lucky you.”

***

We followed up the taste buds-song with a fun activity of observing our taste buds in the mirror and adding little bumps to a giant tongue – on paper, that is. I wrote the words SALTY, SWEET, SOUR, BITTER and TONGUE so that the kids can repeat the vocabulary that describes taste as they drew on the giant tongue.

Come near and the giant tongue will lick you up!

It’s been a tastily fun month, and I am looking forward to enlisting these little troopers in the kitchen whenever I need help!

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Becks Kao Ben Kao Family life as we know it Happy days Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

What Easter means to us

April 22, 2014

Is it me or did I see more eggs everywhere this year? Chocolates eggs were aplenty in stores, and Cold Storage’s even selling those bunny-ears-nose fix-on for cars, much like those reindeer antlers we’ve seen during Christmas.

Easter has been commercially packaged as an occasion for eggs and cute little bunnies.

Back at home, we did take the opportunity to organise an egg hunt for the Kao kids, much to their delight. And that was ONLY because we ran out of almonds and walnuts to hide, and there were too many pretty eggs we couldn’t resist at the supermarkets.

This time round, the treasure they must find are chocolate eggs that would get to eat! (Don’t ask me why Becks is walking around with a bolster in her singlet.)

We even went for an Egg Fiesta at Sentosa. There was some serious egg hunting and walking on eggs there at the Emerald Pavilion at Siloso Beach, complete with some little chicks a-dancing.

We were at the Egg Fiesta 2014 at Sentosa on Good Friday for some eggy fun!

Not related to eggs completely but there was this cool mobile human table and colourful snacks that I just needed to snap a picture of

We had fun this Easter, yes, we did.

But the kids never once linked rabbits, chicks and eggs to the reason for Easter. Ask them if Easter is about egg hunting, and Ben and Becks will tell you no.

Instead, they will tell you Easter is about this:

Craft work Ben did in school to celebrate Easter

And this:

“This means Jesus died on the cross, He was in the grave then He rose from the dead.” – Artist: Becks Kao

So yes, we’ve done a couple of egg hunts, painted some egg shells, ate our fill of egg-shaped chocos and Kinder Bueno and even walked on eggs (and then Becks cracked some, hurhurhur).

But the kids know this: Easter is about Jesus Christ who died on the cross and who rose again from the dead; and that to them – and me – is the reason why we celebrate.

They did ask me how that happened though – how Jesus rose from the dead.

My answer?

“Don’t ask me how. Ask me why.”

Ben: Why, Mama? Why must Jesus rise from the dead?

Me: Because if He only died on the cross, we would only be forgiven. But because He rose from the dead, we are justified forever.

Ben: What is ‘justified’, Mama?

Me: It means we are right with God and He will never be angry with us again. Ever.

Ben: So now God loves us forever, is it?

Me: Yes.

Becks: It’s the power divine. Jesus died, for three days He was in the grave, and He rose again.

Whoa.

And suddenly I’m reminded of this verse in Isaiah 54:13

“And all your children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be their peace.”

Amazing how a mere mortal like this frazzled mother drops a seed into these babes, and His Word blossoms in their hearts.

Hope you celebrated His resurrection with much joy like I did!

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Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics The Kao Kids

Sound bytes of our lives: the darnest things we say (IV)

April 16, 2014

Bitten by the wanderlust bug!

Wanderlust’s been taking over the Kao kids these days and they’ve been asking again and again when they can be on the aeroplane. We’ve only been to Hongkong once last year and the kids have tremendously fond memories of that trip. Speaking of planes, we’ve been sighting at least three flying above us every day. I guess one of the perks of living near Seletar Airbase is that the kids get to revisit that memory of being on a plane every day hearing those planes zoom past.

Ben: Can you bring us to Europe, Mama? Can we go to Italy? Or America? Or Japan?

Becks: Can we go to Hongkong again?

Ben: Can we go to Disneyland, please?

Ben & Becks: Puuleeeazzze, Mama? Please?

Me: Guys, we need to make time, and we need to have money. All these need planning, you know.

Becks: Mama, do you know Navin has a plan? He’s already in Australia.

Me: *cue rofl laughter*

(FYI: Navin is Becks’ classmate who’s emigrated to Perth recently. He’s been telling her that he would be living in Australia and she’s ENVIOUS.)

***

Ben: What’s going to happen if you need to sleep on the airplane?

Me: You just sleep lor.

Ben: Then your pillow?

Me: There’s one on the plane.

Becks: How about bolster?

Me: I guess you gotta bring your own. Like you did bringing your Penguin Bolster.

Nat: HOW ABOUT BED????

I know, I know, somebody’s thinking of first class already.

***

The Kao kids and their fond memories on the plane

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Ben Kao Everyday fun! Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids The real supermom

Of drawings and homework for Mom

April 9, 2014

My kids are finally drawing things that make sense.

And labelling them so that we know what they are, just in case we can’t make out what they are drawing.

I’m glad I was one of those parents that allowed them to draw and draw (on paper, that is) when they were ready to start and held my tongue when I could make no sense of what they did. And boy am I also glad I refrained from giving too much feedback and making too many adult comments because gone are the days of colour globs and splashes, human beings with no limbs and animals that look like extraterrestrial creatures.

I can’t get these days – and drawings – back anymore.

Ben’s drawings of animals at 4 years old

Becks’ art: I always wondered what they were

More things that leave me wondering

While those former days were cute, these days I’m seeing even cuter things.

Now Becks is drawing more recognisable stick people…

… Me on a bad day

… And me on a good day – ain’t I pretty?

Little Nat can also draw many basketballs (his favourite!)

And this is Ben’s version of me, which has evolved (the one above was drawn a year earlier)!

More recognisable zoo animals now, as compared to half a year ago

I even get homework from my eldest, who thinks it’s absolute fun to be designing worksheets for me to do. He leaves them on my desk with “instructions” by blending each word he cannot spell by heart and writing them on the worksheet. Since then, I’ve done a couple of Chinese characters, navigated through mazes he designed and even had to “grow” people in boxes.

He leaves me notes to read…

This is for me to guess. G for…?

So one day I came home and found that I needed to do 习字 !!!

Plus navigate these mazes to get animals out of trouble

And this is the one I’m supposed to grow people in boxes. Ben meant ‘draw’ actually!

So on top of doing school runs, enrichment runs, grocery runs and hospital runs, I come home now to a pile of worksheets needing to be completed. The day my little girl and the littlest follow their older brother (to give me worksheets, that is), I tell you, I’m so going to be one exhausted mother.

Am not complaining, actually, because these kids entertain me tremendously with what they are drawing. Motherhood just got better.

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Becks Kao Ben Kao Enrichment Happy days Learning fun! Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

It’s the sound of music!

March 31, 2014

It’s time to start the kids on their music journey. We’ve been waiting for Ben and Becks to turn 5 and 4 respectively, and since it’s going to be happening this year, we thought we’d begin.

A family friend gave Ben a recorder on his birthday and taught him how to blow some notes. It’s been noisy ever since, since the others also think it’s the longest whistle they can ever blow!

I haven’t see a recorder since my primary school days!

And someone thinks it’s a whistle!

A good friend also lent us her piano, and I’ve started the kids on piano lessons at home. I initially had grand plans to teach my own kids (c’mon, Mama started learning at 5!), but gave up that ambitious idea because I really didn’t know how to scaffold their learning to help them understand the theory of music. I don’t even remember how I learned when I started; and all I am left with right now is a bunch of knowledge all jumbled up and rolled together in my head. It’s a challenge for me to teach the kids what I know because I no longer am able to relearn and break it down into easy-to-understand lingo for my completely clueless kids.

Hence the decision to get a teacher.

I must say, I really like the interesting ways their piano teacher is teaching them to identify the keys on the piano, as well as the engaging ways in which she gets them to understand the theory part through clapping, tracing and colouring. Check out how she places a little cat on the C key, a dog on the D and an elephant on the E with a dog house covering them all, so the kids recognise a pattern.