Browsing Category

Milestones and growing up

Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up

My little girl’s three!

July 29, 2013

Three years ago on this day, I had the worst contractions of my life in the early hours of the morning. Fatherkao sent Ben to infantcare and I checked myself into the delivery suite at KKH, begging for an anesthetist every minute of my wait. It was 7 am. Everyone was changing shift, and I was told I wouldn’t get any epidural for a while. I was given the laughing gas. Which I didn’t find funny AT ALL.

8 hours later (and after getting much relief from the epidural), my little girl was born. She had the biggest eyes I’ve ever seen a baby have. She was screamy and feisty, and difficult to pacify. She could cry for hours on end and not settle well. She was tough, and tougher than I’d imagined. Ben was mild and easily contented, so we always had a point of comparison. Still, we soldiered on and soon settled down as a family of four (which became five when she turned 18 months).

Baby Becks

Today, we bid goodbye to Terrible Two days and welcome the beginning of the Terrific Three. The little girl still has the biggest eyes I’ve ever seen. She’s still as screamy and feisty (when things get to her), and still difficult to pacify (she once stayed angry with me for half an hour even though I had apologized profusely for accidentally knocking into her).

But we’ve come a long way and the unsettled baby that we’ve known is growing up fast and settling pretty well as the princess of the family. She has her moments of shyness, sweetness and being sensible. She says the darndest things when she’s in her bossy mode. She plays with much abandonment, and yet is extra sensitive to the needs of everyone in the house so I sometimes think she can run the household rather well if I ever need a day off. She takes quite good care of all the boys in the house – by bossing them around – that’s for sure!

Today, you turn three, Becks. Happy birthday, my precious. May you live each day laughing, learning, loving.

Rebekah's Terrific Three

Becks Kao Enrichment Invites & Tryouts Learning fun! Milestones and growing up

Operation Ballerina

July 26, 2013

I am of the opinion that every little girl needs to learn ballet.

But that’s just what I think cos’ I am one of those unfortunate few who didn’t. Have you seen how clumsy and chor-lor (loosely translated: sorely lacking elegance and poise) I am? And if you haven’t already noticed, I’ve also got two left feet and a back that’s pretty hunched.

I’ve always associated being trained in ballet with helping a girl develop good posture, elegance and composure, which is a great investment for her future. Ballet is a form of dance that relies heavily on physical strength and agility, strong concentration skills, an understanding of music and rhythm and a love for movement. That’s why I am on a quest to get our resident tomboy to LIKE ballet and go for classes.

My little girl turns three this month. Since the day she started sitting up, she’s been sitting like an ah-lian (loosely translated: an unsophisticated Chinese girl). When she started talking, she’s discovered that her vocal chords could be used to shout and holler like a drill master and has been doing that every single day. And oh yes, because she’s growing up with two brothers, she also secretly wishes she was a boy, and actually thinks she will be one when she grows up. Which explains why she hasn’t put on a dress for the whole year, and pees standing up.

I don’t know of any cure for all these except to put her through ballet classes.

So we’ve gone for a couple of trial lessons to get Becks interested in pre-school ballet. When she was two half, we were invited for a trial at KiddieWinkie School House. After the trial, I concluded she was too young (and too sticky) to be learning something so foreign to her, such as tiptoeing and prancing, and so we decided to wait till she’s three to start again.

Just this month, we were invited to the Metropolitan YMCA for their pre-school MY Ballet classes on Saturday mornings. I was thrilled. For her. I think I was even more excited than her. I showed her Youtube vids of ballerinas her age dancing to classical tunes. I even bought the Tyrell Katz ballet bag and tried to interest her with the pretty pictures of ballerinas on it.

Alas, she’s at the stage where she dislikes pink (her favourite colour is now green). She hates princessy things and the only doll she has (a Disney Mulan now looking completely disheveled and more like a slave girl than a princess) has been banished to a corner on the shelf to eat dust.

So what does a desperate mother do to begin Operation Ballerina? She bribes the little girl with vitamin pastilles so she would participate in class.

And this is my little girl trying to participate, after much coaxing and pleading, and two sugar-coated gum drops:

Ballet trial at MYMCA

As you can see, she doesn’t seem very into this ballet thing.

The first two lessons were new and a refreshing change from our usual routine on Saturdays, and so they were still quite fun to Becks. But by the time it got to the third week, she was begging me not to go. She started negotiating for more candies and asking if she could be learning swimming instead.

Urgh.

Gonna have to adopt a wait-and-see approach again, and introduce her to ballet when she’s more ready. I still think she needs to learn it, but perhaps not now.

Till then, thank you, Metropolitan YMCA, for offering Becks a chance to participate in July’s MY Ballet lessons and allowing me to sit in with her too!

*If you’d like to sign your little tot up for MY Ballet at the Metropolitan YMCA, you can email programmes@mymca.org.sg to enquire. Motherkao readers get a 5% discount off term fees!*

Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post or review. Becks was invited to try out pre-school ballet at the Metropolitan YMCA. All opinions in this post are my own.

P/S: Yes, and I do also know she doesn’t need to pick up ballet to learn to be lady-like. Perhaps if she had a role-model who would teach her how to be graceful and gentle, that would pretty much fix some of our problems, yes? Umm, have you seen Becks’ mother? Hurhurhur. 

Ben Kao Homelearning fun Learning fun! Milestones and growing up Re: learning and child training

Learning hiccups at four half: selective memory?

July 23, 2013

Lately, it’s been quite frustrating teaching Ben. He seems unfocused and is having trouble learning how to read. His memory also seems to fail him at times, and all these has gotten me pretty worried.

I’ve always known him to be someone with excellent memory. I mean, are you kidding me? This boy can rattle off the names of the characters in Mike the Knight just by watching one episode, can remember all the promises you made him and which day he gets his privileges. When he was in childcare, he knows everyone’s names in his class (English, Chinese and first names) and is the only in school who could at three years old.

I seriously don’t think he’s got bad memory.

What I think is the problem? Selective memory, methinks, especially when it comes to what he wishes to remember in academic learning.

For example, he can be writing a simple word 15 times in his jotter book and still not be able to spell the word immediately after. Every day, after kindy, when I ask him to tell me one thing he’s learned at school, he would have problems recalling. Sometimes, he would even make it up. But I am his mother, and I know the look in his eyes whenever he’s not telling me the truth. So I’d call his bluff, game’s over, and he would have to try harder to recall at least one thing he’s learned. It’s a brain exercise I make him do every day without fail on the bus. I just don’t get it – he remembers what he had for lunch in school but just can’t tell me ONE thing he’s been taught! Perhaps he wasn’t paying attention in class. Which could also explain why he doesn’t remember.

It gets even more frustrating when I try to get him to read. He’s already learned to blend words using the phonics way and has also learned to read some words by sight. Sight word reading has also been quite frustrating to teach so far. And far too often, when left on his own to read a book, he gives up quickly, closes the book in haste, and declares he doesn’t know how to read it. We’re talking about graded readers here, not some encyclopedic collection explaining the workings of the universe and the properties of matter. Some of these graders have been read and reread to him over months! I know he’s just hoping that when he says ‘I don’t know’ that I’ll read it (again) to him. Which I do. I never passed on an opportunity to read to my children. In fact, I have explored the 50 ways to help a child learn to read! Oh trust me, I have done them most and more!

Just last week, Ben brought a book (a graded reader for his level) home from the school library and we read it together, just like any new book we get our hands on. I taught him the new words in the story (about a family wanting a new dog) and he attempted reading it several times. All was good except that he just couldn’t remember that the boy in the story was called ‘Kipper’. We tried all sorts of ways to make him remember – blending the word, repeating it (almost) a hundred times – in the end, everyone, even Becks knew the boy’s name. Everyone but Ben. Whenever we asked him for the boy’s name, he would say ‘Kim’ or ‘Kimper’. By the third day, I was yelling, “KIPPER!!! HIS NAME IS KIPPER!!!” every time we came to that word.

The new word in the book was ‘Kipper’ but he couldn’t seem to remember it. I think I was more frustrated than he was.

I know it’s all in the training and I am teaching him to have a positive attitude about learning so as to overcome his selective memory. I also try to make learning as fun as possible, but sometimes it’s hard to get by without telling him harshly the importance of being serious and focused. And I definitely need to work harder in my patience department, that’s for sure! If you have any comments on how I can help my child, I’d be glad to hear from you.

Till then, I’m going back to good old simple readers to be read consistently and frequently, and have ordered what I know that has helped thousands of children, me included, all over the world:

Peter&Jane Ladybird Readers

Good ol’ Peter and Jane. He’s going to have to start with Key Words with Peter and Jane, the classical way of learning how to read and write. No more fanciful ‘Kipper’ readers for now.

I am glad to be able to stay home and observe the way my children learn, and discover their strengths and weaknesses. If I were to continue working full-time, these little things would probably go unnoticed. I’m glad for this opportunity (thank you, fatherkao), and am praying for wisdom every day to help the kids learn and realize the fullest of their potential.

Ben Kao Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

Knight Fever

July 4, 2013

So the kids were home today cos’ the morning session folks from kindy went off for a field trip. It was drizzling the whole day and after a whole morning of reading and playing, I decided to switch the TV on for the kids. So I flipped the channel to Disney Junior (something which I’ve not done for a very long while) and there was this CG-animated series called Mike the Knight.

Mike the Knight

Photo credit: bbc.co.uk

My son couldn’t get enough of it.

He’s already starting to be a little fanatical about dragons and vikings, ever since he watched How to Train Your Dragon some time ago when he and his father had some special time together, and now, this animated series is getting him really excited about medieval times, fire-breathing dragons and knighthood.

~~~

After the show…

Ben: Mama, when we go out later, I am not going out as Ben. I’m going as a knight – Mike, the Knight.

Me: Alright, buddy. I’m sure you are. But it’s drizzling so we aren’t going out. You’ll have to be Ben.

Ben: Huh? Sigh.

A while later…

Ben: Mike the Knight has a horse. I am a knight, and I need a horse. Who’s going to be my horse?

*Silence*

Becks: …erm, ok lor, ME!

Ben: Huh? You’re going to be a very small horse… Sigh.

In the evening… Finally going downstairs 

Ben: Mama, can I bring my sword and my bow? I’m Mike the Knight, y’know. I need to bring all these things.

Me: I see you have your sword stuffed inside your pants and your bow hanging on your bicycle already.

Ben: Ya!

(In the end, he brought his toy bow along cos’ he couldn’t pedal his bike with the sword stuffed in his pants behind his butt!)

Before bed…

Ben: Mama, I’m dreaming about Mike the Knight.

Me: Ben, you’re not asleep yet. How can you be dreaming?

Ben: Yea, it’s very special one. I tell you how. I PAUSE it inside my head, then when I go to sleep, I’m going to PLAY it! Then I’m dreaming lor!

Goodnight, my knight. It’s amazing how one TV programme has gotten you so thrilled about knighthood the whole day, and even wishing that you’ll dream about it at night!

Welcome to Ben’s World, at four-and-a-half!

Invites & Tryouts Milestones and growing up Product Reviews The Kao Kids

Perfectly diapered by Drypers

June 27, 2013

I know exactly what I want in a diaper and what a diaper at each stage of my baby’s growth must do. As a mother who’s birthed three children in four years and changed at least 9657 diapers for all three kids put together (and still counting), I think I qualify somewhat as a diaper expert here.

Here is my very own list of what I think the perfect diaper must possess.

The multitasking diaper

If you asked me if I’ve found the diaper of all diapers that has all of the above 10 qualities, I have.

Before that, I’ve tried diaper brands of almost every kind in the market and requested for samples at every opportunity. In my first stint as a newbie mother, I was perpetually in search of the perfect diaper that would meet the diapering needs of my baby as he grew. When Ben did the explosive poop on me and the diaper leaked, I switched brands in the hope of finding something that’s leak-proof from poop bombs. When he started getting nappy rash, I started searching for something that could keep his skin dry and moisturised at the same time. When my baby started to flip and crawl around like Speedy Gonzales on the loose, I was on the hunt again for comfortable yet absorbent pull-ups. When he finally slept through the night, I needed diapers that could last him through at least 10 hours and not have him waddle in a pool of pee.

The search didn’t stop even when I thought I’ve found a good brand to stick with. I discovered what worked for Ben might not work for Becks, and what works for the either of them might not work for Nat. We’re talking particularly about the way each child’s skin takes to the material of the diaper and the cutting and sizing fit for the shape of his or her bum here. With every new addition to the family, the search for “the one” for each child begins all over again.

Ever since Drypers launched a new and improved Drypers Wee Wee DRY and Drypers DryPantz, the search is officially over. Both the Wee Wee DRY and DryPantz are the variants of the multi-tasking disposable diaper, fully capable of delivering #1 to #9, and also #10, with its value for money in each pack, on my list.

As of now, Ben is fully toilet-trained in the day, so he doesn’t require diapers at all. Becks is toilet-trained (finally). After more misses than hits, we’ve finally gotten off to a good start this year. I still make her wear her Drypers DryPantz when she goes out, simply because I hate having to bring her to public toilets. Even I hold pee in as much as I can when we’re out. I like it that the Drypers DryPantz can hold a lot of her pee and I usually don’t have to change it for many hours.

It also fits her snugly and doesn’t leave ugly elastic band marks on her waist. Best of all, she moves with ease in her Drypers DryPantz. Her fitting pull-ups have never given way even when she rolled and tumbled during gym classes or played wildly at playgrounds.

It comes with a cute kangaroo design too, which is always a welcoming thing to look at when you have to diaper a child. Unlike other brands which says plainly “front” and “back” to indicate how to wear the pull-up (and which requires a child to be able to read), the DryPantz does a no-brainer with this, so Becks can easily put this on on her own:

Drypers DryPantz

As for Nat, well, he is just happy to be naked.

Butt Naked Nat

I’m kidding. He wears whatever’s available to him most of the the time. Because the Drypers DryPantz costs a little more than the Drypers Wee Wee DRY, his pull-ups are usually reserved for going out.

Nat in Wee Wee Dry

At night, all three kids wear their disposable diapers to bed. My toilet-training philosophy for the night is simple: Show me the first dry diaper in the morning, and we will begin. Until then, diapers please! It used to be that we were set on a particular brand to be used as night diapers because the whole world said it was the best in the market that keeps baby dry through the night.

Until we put the new improved Drypers Wee Wee DRY to the test.

Drypers Wee Wee Dry

Along the way, we’ve had a few incidents, and I initially thought that Drypers Wee Wee DRY Zip Dry Core™’s claim to absorb and lock urine doesn’t hold water (couldn’t resist the pun here). I was on the verge of switching back to everybody-says-it’s-best-for-night brand, when I realised that the wet beds usually happen when the kids had a little more milk or water than the usual the night before. So now, I just make all of them empty their bladder after their milk feed before diapering them, and I’m happy to say, Drypers Wee Wee DRY hasn’t failed us one bit as our night diaper.

Colour coded Wee Wee Dry

So yay, I’m breathing easy now that I’ve found what I want in a diaper for ALL three kids. I’m glad Drypers made all the improvements to their diapers cos’ thanks to that, I don’t have to keep switching brands to try and asking for samples everywhere I go. Got better things to do, you know. Like watching my babies walk around in cute diapered bums.

Disclosure: We’ve been regular users of Drypers since June 2012. Becks and Nat received four packs of Drypers DryPantz and four packs of Drypers Wee Wee DRY respectively for the purpose of this review, and Motherkao was compensated to put these diapers on for them. All opinions here are Motherkao’s own.

This is the first in a series of sponsored conversations on behalf of Drypers Singapore. 

Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up Nat Kao

Letter to my littlest #6

June 26, 2013

To my dearest Nat,

It was worth the wait, baby love. You finally uttered the sweetest sound I’ll ever hear in my entire existence. Totally worth waiting for, after 16 months.

‘Mmmm-maa-maa’, you now say when you see me, and when you’re looking for me. It’s music to my ears.

I make you say this to me every day. Close to 10 times in any given day. I love the way you drag the ‘Mmm’ and say ‘Mmmm-maa-maa’.

Nat at 16 months

At 16 months, you’re the most responsive toddler we’ve ever had. I don’t remember Ben and Becks being like that. Perhaps it’s because you watch kor kor and jie jie every day and imitate their every move. You can jump lifting both legs off the floor (and that’s really fast). You can crash onto the mat from the sofa’s height, and then tumble and roll (that’s really the craziest daredevil stunt you can pull on us). You can indicate where you’re hurting when you fall, “say” sorry and express remorse, and even tell us what you want to eat and what you don’t want to, with the sounds you make. You shake and nod and babble non stop in gibberish we do not understand. It makes you soooo funny.

You’re the resident clown and comedian, and the king of total randomness. I’ll be reading to all three of you and you would walk away suddenly only to return with a basket over your head. You’ll gladly carry Becks’ bags, wrap yourself in a towel and take off your clothes. Yes, all for no reason. You take the cane and bombombom me like a gun because you saw your brother do it with his huge paper roll. You smile for the camera by tilting your head to one side just because I say ‘cheese’ this way. When I tell you I love you, you frantically blink your eyes (Eye love you, geddit?) and wait for my laughter and nonstop smothering of kisses with anticipation.

Nat at 16 months with Becks' bag

You love to make us laugh. You love to make me laugh.

And the more I laugh, the more I fall in love with you.

Nat at 16 months_Coy

Loving you so much,

Mama

Becks Kao Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up

Before you turn three

June 10, 2013

Dearest Becky,

I need to tell you a couple of things before you turn three.

You’re Mama and Dada’s beautiful princess. I know we don’t tell you enough that you’re beautiful.

But you are. Every day. Even in your tantrums. Even in your tears. Even if you refuse to wear a dress for the longest time now, and pretend that you’re a boy. You’re beautiful, my love. At one year, at two, and before you turn three.

Becks 1-year & 2-year

You’re precious to us, so very precious. I know we don’t tell you enough how precious you are to us.

But you really are. We cannot imagine our lives without you. You’re not sandwiched between two brothers. You’re not the middle child. You’re you, and you’re the only little girl we’ll ever have in our lives. You’re precious, my dear. From the day you were conceived, till right now before you turn three, and always.

It hasn’t been that easy, this Terrible Two thing, and we’ve learned so much about you this year. We’ve watched you blossom into a confident little girl who speaks her mind, laughs a lot and plays with much abandonment. You’re without a care in the world, yet you can be so focused when you set your mind on something. I pray you will always set your mind on loving, laughing and living strong, like what you are doing now, before you turn three.

Becks before turning three

Before you turn three, can I just say that I love you so much, and I will miss the little you that was two – all giggly, random and funny? I don’t know what three would bring, and there’s still a month more before it comes. But I know we’re going to grow deeper in love with you.

With all the love in my heart and more,

Mama

Becks Kao Ben Kao Everyday fun! Milestones and growing up Nat Kao The Kao Kids

Just like that, the three of ’em

June 5, 2013

And just like that, the three of them are playing together and doing everything together.

Playing with shoes: all ready for a fashion parade

Playing with shoes: all ready for a fashion parade

They shower together. They eat together. They watch tv (when I allow it) together.

Bath time is fun time: guess who can't wait to jump right into the shower?

Bath time is fun time: guess who can’t wait to jump right into the shower?

Watching tv together: they sit in a row, and enjoy the show!

Watching tv together: they sit in a row, and enjoy the show!

They have conversations with one another, yes, all three of them. The youngest can reply by nodding and shaking, and knows exactly what the older ones are talking about.

Most of the time, it’s monkey see monkey do. If Ben and Beck troop around the house, Nat follows. If they bounce a ball, he follows. Whatever they scale, he scales. Whatever they climb, he follows suit behind.

Monkey see, monkey do. Small monkey can copy anything!

Monkey see, monkey do. Small monkey can copy anything!

Anything small monkey see, small monkey do - with JieJie!

Anything small monkey see, small monkey do – with JieJie!

And just like that, the three of them are growing up so quickly. Quicker than my tired feet can run after.

Milestones and growing up Nat Kao The darndest kid quotes and antics

Call me, I’ll be waiting

May 30, 2013

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

One of the greatest thrills in motherhood is to hear your babbling baby finally associate the word “Ma” to your face, and to hear him call out, “Mama”.

Unfortunately, I haven’t had the chance to experience this thrill the third time yet. At 15 months, Nat has called out to the birds at the park, the cars on the road, and even those Moove Media cows in the fields.

He’s called his father…

Nat and Dada

He’s said “Ah Ma“…

Nat and Ah Ma

He’s called Gong Gong…

Nat and Gong Gong

We’ve even heard him say Che Che twice with Becks…

Nat calling Che Che

He’s called Ben “Kor Kor” (one of the first few words he’s said) and says it like a hundred times a day. They are best buds now, and hang out together ever so often.

Nat calling Korkor

But when I ask him to say, “Mama”, he either gives me the silent treatment or goes korkorkorkor on me.  -_-

I hope Mama’s still your favourite person, Nat! Call me soon, ok?

Nat and Mama

Getting all sentimental now Milestones and growing up

My sentimental you

May 3, 2013

To my dearest, sweetest Ben,

What a shock I got when I sat you on my lap today. I have forgotten how it’s like to hold you up and carry you. You’ve grown so much, so quickly.

Ben Kao

You don’t sit on my lap anymore during story time. Because everyone else pounces on me, you choose to lean against my side.

I don’t carry you anymore. You’ve gotten too heavy for my arms. You watch me while I babywear your brother and carry your sister. You’re happy just to hold my hands.

Sometimes, you don’t even get to hold my hands. Every day, when we head out to school, I have Nat in the Beco, your school bags over one arm, and a hand clutching Becky tight (we all know how far she can run, even on the road). You’re just contented to hold on to my shorts.

Yesterday, when I had to leave for class, you bravely said bye and gave me a smile. It started to pour and I returned for an umbrella. I found you tearing at a corner. I asked you why you were crying. You replied that you missed me. You hugged me tight like I’m the only one you’ve got in the whole world.

This is you. My little, sentimental, you.

You watch daily as I frenzy around, handling one sometimes unreasonable and temperamental child, and one whiny, clingy baby. You see me getting drained, day after day, by the endless tantrums and screaming, and you offer a kind touch, always. You observe, quietly, as I trudge on, exhausted by your needy little brother who refuses to be away from me and you offer help by distracting him. You wait patiently for Mama; you want her and need her too. She’s got stories to tell you, answers to your questions and lessons to teach you. You hang around her every minute, waiting for that moment she finally has time for you.

You sometimes bear the brunt of her anger and her impatience. And because you’re so mild and gentle, you take it, swallow it, and continue loving her, because Mama is the apple of your eye. You do things to get her attention, and when you mess up, you end up lashed and broken. Mama always expects more from you. So you try everyday, to do things right, to make her happy.

I see all these, my son. I see my many expectations of you. I see how I am answering your questions with ‘I don’t know’ more often now than before. I see how unfair I’ve been, always making you give in to the younger ones.

Today, we took the bus alone – just you and me – and finally explored the upper deck of a double decker! You were delighted, even though it was only for a short while. We had to leave a sick and screaming Becks at home, and I saw in your eyes that you were as drained as I was having to put up with her tantrums and hissy fits before we left the house. If it was you, you’d only sob quietly at a corner, and miss me in your heart.

How different the two of you are.

How blessed I am to have you in my life. Your gentleness is a respite on such days of mothering madness.

How I need to learn to treasure you.

My sentimental Ben

I love you to the moon and back,

Mama