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Milestones and growing up

Family life as we know it Invites & Tryouts Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

Family Life As It Is [Outdoor fam photography with Bespoke Photography]

April 8, 2019

We got our family photos updated recently, and in view of how posing in a studio would be challenging (HAVE YOU SEEN MY KIDS LATELY? They make all sorts of funny faces!), we grabbed at an opportunity to have our family photographed outdoors instead with Bespoke Photography.

I liked that I had no idea what to do for our one hour photo shoot BUT the Bespoke Photography’s photographer had many ideas and still gave me full autonomy to decide. He supplied suggestions, colour schemes, outfits, and even asked me to send him shots and styles that I would like to recreate.

I had initially wanted to head to Gardens by the Bay, but truth be told, I would be too tempted to run into the Cloud Forest if the heat got unbearable, so I went with the photographer’s suggestion of going to a lesser known place in Canterbury Road for a picnic, some frisbee and football with my kids, and lots of running around.

And we got more than shots of us playing frisbee and football that lovely Saturday morning.  I love it so much that the photographer captured the little moments of us doing things together – observing, talking and piggyback-riding.

These are very precious moments to me.

It’s not every day that someone comes along and captures the kids at play, but it is every day that the kids play this way. Surely then, I need to remember my kids playing in their wildest, and happiest.

The days are long but the years are short, and soon, childhood is but a memory. We certainly had the opportunity to freeze some moments in time that Saturday morning.

Just one hour, about 70 photographs captured, and I got naturally edited photographs within 2 weeks!

There’s a lot of sentiments just browsing the photographs again and again and I must say Bespoke Photography offered a much-needed service in my busy-ness to allow me to slow down and give thanks for my active, healthy and happy family. Definitely something to budget in at various milestones of our family life, and I am glad we now have pictures accurately depicting what family life is like, with the kids being 10, 9 and 7.

Check out their very reasonable rates here.

Disclosure: We were invited to a one-hour photo shoot with Bespoke Photography. All the running and sweating and exercise was done by the Kao family and not stunt doubles. No monetary compensation was received. 

Becks Kao Milestones and growing up Reviews

Seeing well with Zeiss MyoVision Pro lenses at W Optics

October 10, 2018

Not all spectacles are made equal.

I would know. I wore them for most of my childhood, teenage years, all through adulthood till I became a mother. I went for Lasik only when Ben smashed my glasses being the curious baby he was.

And I wished spectacles that could control my myopia were readily accessible to me back in the days when my vision got worse with every yearly health checkup. My lenses just got thicker and uglier.

Yes, there is such a thing called myopia control lenses, and just by wearing it, your myopia gets some form of control.

And who else knows it better – that myopia needs to be controlled in childhood – than me. I have lived through it and I do not want my kids to experience uncontrolled childhood myopia.

Becks gets to reap the benefit of technology, specifically an innovation from ZEISS. And thanks the folks at W Optics, she got fitted with a pair after a routine eye checkup to ascertain her eye health.

At the very spacious and welcoming W Optics at Great World City, Becks was introduced to a friendly optometrist who took her through a series of tests in the rooms with the “machines”. Though initially shy, she soon warmed up when the experienced optometrist made small talk by asking her questions about her lifestyle, which was essential in understanding her habits and routine. Of course, a parent needs to be present at all times, and I happily chipped in by echoing her bad habits and how she loves to lie down on her stomach to draw on the floor.

Which became a perfect opportunity for the expert to share tips on maintaining good eye health with good habits: being mindful of the distance when she does near-work, getting enough outdoors to get Vitamin D, eating well and taking regular vision breaks from the screen.

She also did a comprehensive eye checkup that consisted of evaluating the state of her eye pressure, binocular vision, visual acuity, visual function, colour vision and corneal and retinal examinations. These checks were brief and didn’t take long.

The assessment findings, save for a slight increase of power in her right eye, came back normal and assuring. We were then introduced to the ZEISS Myopia Management solutions for children. They comprised two solutions: ZEISS MyoVision Pro Lenses and ZEISS MyoKids Lenses.

These solutions are both customised for myopic children and optimised for their lifestyle.

We were recommended the ZEISS MyoVision Pro Lenses for Becks after her assessment.

ZEISS MyoVision lenses follow the principles of “Peripheral Defocus Management” by the correcting the peripheral “hyperopic shift” affecting myopic eyes and sending a signal to the eye to reduce the progression of eye elongation, which can result in the reduction of myopia progression.

This means that power isn’t equally spread out in each lenses, in layman speak. This translates to the image projecting on the retina centrally, and the peripheral image being shifted  forward instead of backwards as compared to standard lenses, in the long run reducing the chances of her eyes elongating. We all know that shortsightedness happens when that happens.

Becks also picked out a from Swissflex which was light, bendable and flexible. Comparatively speaking, the frames felt weightless to the one she is wearing on now.

Initially she wasn’t too used to her new spectacles but I am glad to report she is liking her spectacles more with continual wear.

A visit in 6 months is due next March to assess if the myopia treatment is working and that her shortsightedness doesn’t deteriorate and remains stable. If so, it is unlikely she needs another change of glasses (yippee!). Afterall, we’ve gotten a pair of very good spectacles that controls her myopia when her eyes move to see near and far, comes with the ZEISS UVProtect Technology, as well as the ZEISS DuraVision BlueProtect coating that blocks light from digital devices.

With technology, we can prevent and protect. And free up our time to do more important things.

 

 

***

Disclosure: We were invited by W Optics to try out ZEISS Myopia Management. All opinions here are our own.

Becks Kao Happy days Invites & Tryouts Milestones and growing up Reviews The Kao Kids

Birthday fun for young (and old) ones at Timezone

August 25, 2018

If you know the Kao kids well, you would know that they’ve grown to love games. Any kinds of games from team sports and Running Man missions to candy crushing and arcade gaming.

Their father even has an arcade console with joysticks hooked to the tv at home for the kids to redeem their screen time with.

So imagine how much of a celebration took place when my kids learned that we could have a party to celebrate Becks turning 8 at Timezone Vivocity – the largest of Timezones in Singapore – and that it would come tagged with three hours of non stop arcade play.

The boys were the ones who had a party before the party first, I tell you.

While the birthday girl carefully pondered who the 15 kids that made up the invite list were, shopped meticulously for her cake, and desserts online, and scrutinised my design for her invitation card.

That’s THAT difference between having boys and raising girls, and what the reactions are about having a party. Just sayin’.

On the day of the party, we were introduced to our party host from Timezone who very warmly made sure we were all settled in to the party room, which we had exclusive use of for 3 hours. The room came complete with a refrigerator, microwave and a sink for washing. It also had ample seating for a party of 10-20 guests, a projector screen, laptop and speakers.

Party host trying to interest the two girls who were the earliest with some colouring

The cherry on the cake for me was this awesome, awesome view looking into tranquility.

My view before madness (children) entered

 

Which…. was not at all enjoyed by the kids (well, at least the adults did!) because no one was found in the party room the moment all the guests have arrived. The party host explained some basic rules for using the complimentary Timezone cards provided for each guest and the kids, well, they were soon off and nowhere near the party room!

These 8-, 9-, 10-year-olds were in game wonderland, why would they waste a minute?

Paying attention to the party host explaining how the cards work for the card readers

Queuing up orderly to get the Timezone cards that come complimentary for them as party guests

Rush is setting in! Getting their ticket buckets

Ready, set, go!

Each guest gets a card that lets them play X number of times in the arcade depending on the colour of the card readers. The yellow card reader games has unlimited number of game plays which included the car racing, the dancing machines and the motorbike races.

Have you seen a whole row of girls in full focus? Here’s some girl power for you.

6-year-old Nat racing with 13-year-old Godsis

The blue, green or red card reader games are for up to 32 tries and those games were lots of fun too, and what I felt most of Becks’ girlfriends and the boys enjoyed. They included carnival games like hoop throwing, shooting, fishing and ticket jackpots. These games let players win tickets, which then can be exchanged for items from the Timezone store! Talk about motivation for tapping and trying all day long!

This was like at the 15th minute mark of play, omg

This game lets the player think and work on precision to win real prizes including sought-after gadget; no surprises why I found Ben here

BFFs fishing away

The rainbow card reader games were best enjoyed as a group. Only 5 taps of the card were allowed for these – which included the mini bowling, bumper car rides and VR rides and roller coasters.

This is the Rabbids VR coaster which her friends dared to try but not the birthday girl

These, unlike bumper cars of days old, cushions the bumping impact with the foam and makes it completely safe for kids to go MADDDDD

A friend commented that she’s never seen this side of Becks: chatty, cheery and smiling non stop

I love watching my little girl play with her friends. These girls can be squealy one moment and feisty another!

My birthday girl and her friends went in throngs to play the bumper cars all those 5 tries they were allowed on their cards. It was a whole new world hearing how loud and shrill 10 girls screaming at the same time sounded like.

What I liked most about hosting a party in an arcade was the fact that I could see how my kids, especially Becks, interacted with her friends. They travelled in packs to choose a game together, learned the tricks of scoring and doing well for each game together and had so much wholesome fun.

Groups of girls squealing at a corner. Boys guffawing at misses and hits. Adults getting excited while games are at play. There was so much laughter, it was truly satisfying to hear.

What I loved above all else about having a party at Timezone was that the adults – from parents to grandparents – can join in the fun at this party. At the ages at my kids are at most of their parties revolve around climbing, laser tagging, indoor playground cray-craying. It was nice that for a change, the gramps could join in the fun. Like when the birthday girl, her friends and Grandma were at the fishing table trying to reel a fish in! That was truly precious to watch.

For that matter, most of Becks’ party guests’ parents also joined in the fun instead of dropping them off. It was a lovely morning and afternoon spent on fun and games, and family bonding.

Grandma reeling in her catch

Grandpa looking on and giving advice

These 2 had a great time catching plushies – love it that there’s something for a 3-year-old too

It was a really no-stress, all-fun kinda party that Saturday morning. I think the only source of stress came from herding the children back in to get some lunch and to sing the birthday song. I know the kids didn’t mind at all one bit not having lunch or cake; even the birthday girl dashed out the moment the cake cutting was over.

Not many left at the table :p

Happy 8th birthday, my big baby!

She loved the cake and topper although she didn’t eat them at the party!

The lovely Timezone folks also brought her to the Timezone store to choose a birthday gift. This came as a surprise to her (I knew!) and she was thrilled to befriend Gudetama.

After the party was over, all the kids made a mad rush to count their tickets and shopped at the store for their tickets’ worth. Some went home with bouncy balls while others lugged back some sweet and memorabilia. Now the boys tell me they’re wishing that they would have their parties for their next birthdays here. I’m rolling my eyes because I know 3 hours ain’t gonna be enough at all for them.

At least I have till next year to decide.

YAY, all birthdays done, and my little girl turned 8 having a blast at the arcade with her best friends and family! Thank you, Timezone Vivocity, for the awesome party!

For more details of Timezone flagship store’s Party Package details, check out what you get for 3 hours of non stop fun here.

Disclosure: We were invited to experience the Timezone Birthday Party Package. All opinions here including squealing girls and the mayhem produced by mad kids are our own.

Ben Kao Milestones and growing up Nat Kao

To my Kao boys

August 7, 2018

Dear Ben and Nat,

You boys turn 9 and 6 respectively this year. How time flies.

You have now become best friends to each other. You need each other every day. I see that. I see that you have need for each other in the form of conversations and play time all the time. You boys talk about everything you love under the sun from Smashers and Avengers to Beyblade and Pokemon. You make silly boy jokes and invent silly boy sounds.

And you fart and burp with such finesse ON DEMAND.

Sometimes I think you boys are the grossest ever. Your hair stinks. You brush your teeth for a total of 5 seconds. You are perpetually sweaty.

I sometimes wonder if I could raise gentlemen out of the both of you.

Beyond the dirt, booger and clamminess, I know you boys are incredibly kind-hearted souls. For one, you love and take care of each other. You protect your sister. You stand up for justice. You fight on reasonable grounds. You knock sense into one another when the time calls for it. You take care of the house. You help with the strength that you now have.

You catch lizards. You kill bugs. You shield mama from things she is afraid of.

And every single day, you would show Mama how much you love her, by saying ‘I love you’ and hugging her.

By the way, Ben, you’re already as tall as my shoulder. Soon you will be towering over me. I know that will happen sooner than later.

May you always use your strength to show kindness. When you become strong, remember to help the weak.

And may you both be brothers in life and in love. May you both always find solace and strength in this brotherhood.

And may you both always keep this view in my sight, as long as I live. Let me always see your hand on your brother’s shoulder.

Love, Mama.

Ben Kao Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up

My son, my parent

April 16, 2018

Overheard these days with my nine-year-old…

I will stay up to wait

Ben: Where are you going?

Me: Oh, I am going out with my best friend.

Ben: Who?

Me: Aunty J.

Ben: Where?

Me: Dinner at somewhere nice.

Ben: What are you eating?

Me: Good food.

Ben: Yes, what kind of food?

Me: Western maybe?

Ben: What time are you coming back?

Me: About 9ish or 10?

Ben: Ok, I will wait for you.

~~~

Manage your money, please

Ben: What time did you come home last night?

Me: About 11pm.

Ben: Why so late? Thought you said 9ish or 10?

Me: Sorry, we got carried away chatting.

Ben: I tried to wait for you but I fell asleep.

Me: It’s ok. You should sleep.

Ben: So how much was dinner?

Me: About few hundred dollars.

Ben: Who paid?

Me: Erm, we wanted to split but in the end I gave the treat.

Ben: WHAT!?!? You got money meh?

Me: -_-

~~~

Why do you have so many bffs?

Ben: Where are you going again?

Me: Dinner

Ben: With who?

Me: With my best friends.

Ben: Thought you just went?!

Me: Yea, but I also want to meet other girlfriends.

Ben: Why you so many girlfriends one!

Me: -_-

~~~

While at work

Ben (calling): What time will you be back, Mom?

Me: Soon.

Ben: Thought you said you are coming back by 4pm.

Me: I got held up.

Ben: If you say you’d be back, you should, ok?

Me: -_-

~~~

Phone vs. presence

Ben: Look, see – you’re always on your phone.

Me: I am working.

Ben: You are always working. At work you are working, and at home you’re working.

Me: I’m sorry.

Ben: Don’t be sorry. Just put down your phone.

Me: -_-

~~~

Dear Papa, I am in good hands. Your grandson is doing a great job being my dad.

I love you, Ben. For the way you fuss over me, keep my phone habits in check and wait up for me!

 

Family life as we know it Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

Parenting at 8, 7 and 5 – Year-end reflections of a mother

December 24, 2017

The last time I reflected on a milestone of parenting was when the Kao kids were at age 5, 3-half and 2. I wrote about the exasperation and the growing pains and that new season of mothering where I had to be attuned to needs like potty training, mealtime routines, sleep training and weaning and the fact that I became conscious that I was the role model and chief influencer for three very young minds who needed to be taught values and guided in every way.

Well, all those are over, and yet again a new season of mothering is here.

These days, there is no baby nursing, no potty training to do, and no bums to clean. My kids can feed themselves, help with household chores, write me love notes and paint me beautiful pictures. They can also sing, dance and clown around for me – very much the reverse about three years ago where I was the one singing and dancing and clowning around to make them laugh and tickle them silly.

These days too, the eight-year-old dishes out advice on more occasions than not, telling me to sit up straight, eat my meals on time and come back early before bedtime.

These days, my seven-year-old can very much hold in her emotions, resist a tantrum and be taken in by reason and logic. She has a reservoir of emotions but unlike what she was like at 3-half with the crazy tantrums and hair-tearing, she draws, writes notes and paints them out.

These days, the baby in the family is baby no more. He is tall, dashing, super cheeky and full of humor. He can buddy up with bro anytime, and become best friends with his sister the next minute, and is an awesome team player who binds the siblings together. He helps Mama when her hands are full, he holds lift doors and orders his own food.

Oh gosh, how much they have grown.

Kao kids at Snow City, November 2017

What I hear these days isn’t the sound of whining, crying or babbling. What I hear these days at home are long conversations, silly banters and lots and lots of opinions and feelings flowing freely.

As I look back on these years my kids have grown and have become so close and dependent on one another, I am often glad for those years of “hardship” and the frazzled-ness I suffered doing these kids back to back without taking a break. My break is happening now, and while there are still needs to fulfill, I can now do a host of so many things, from pursuing entrepreneurship and taking nights out to learning a new language and getting couple- and me-time for my sanity.

And as I move forward to this new season where the needs are vastly different from a couple of years ago, I must remember to do well in these two things:

Find time to get to know each child one-to-one

Every pocket of time spent with each child has become so precious in having one-to-one conversations with each of them. The drive home with Ben on Wednesday night for English class, the bus ride with Nat every morning to school, the pedicure sessions with Becks once a month, running errands with whichever kid that wants to join me… — those times let me chit chat with them and get to know them better. They tell me what’s on their mind and things that are for my ears only.

More pockets of one-to-one time next year, we must find.

Find time to just watch and listen to them

I really sometimes have a lot to do. I’ll be honest: I can’t say no to screen time all the time myself. But I’d always make it a point to watch them for a while. Or listen in to some parts of their conversations. Just today, the three of them lay on my bed and sang Uptown Funk three times. It’s amazing how they have memorised the lyrics just by listening and I never knew that they loved this song to bits. I did whip out the phone to take a photo and some vids. But I watched them. And laughed at them. It was funny. I also love listening in to their squabbles and wait out how they would negotiate their way around each other’s demands and expectations.

And I need to do more watching and listening. Much much more in the days to come.

Bring it on 2018, I can’t get to know these kids more, and I can’t wait to relish this motherhood season.

 

(Self) Examination Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

The sadness when you are done having babies

August 3, 2017

This always hits me around the months of August and September.

This time round it hit much earlier, and I have begun to feel this way by the end of July.

An overwhelming sense of sadness.

Recently I read this article and it described everything I’ve felt for two years now, usually at this time of the year – this time of the year when ALL birthdays are officially over. My boys celebrate their birthdays in February and Becks celebrates hers in July.

The first time I experienced this sadness was right after Nat’s third birthday. By then I already knew. I knew in my heart after he blew out his three candles, that I was really done with having babies, and that he would be my last.

My babies are officially no more and what I have in the brood right now is an 8-year-old, a 7-year-old and a 5-year-old who are smarter than me, sassier than me and stronger than me.

At least this is what they think, and what I let them think.

Life every day with them is filled with both frustration and fun. Depends on the perspective you wish to adopt, hurhurhur.

You listen in to a whole load of stuff; they talk about a whole load of stuff; and a whole ginormous load of stuff is learned and picked up and discussed and explored and thought about and squabbled over every friggin’ waking minute.

It’s exhilarating and exasperating at the same time.

Now that I am done having babies, this is my area to grow as their mother – to handle the exhilaration and exasperation all at the same time and to savour it all while at it.

To cherish them as they are growing up, to tune in and work out the patience bit every single waking moment.

Yet, I can’t help but to reminisce and cry sad tears every night looking at this…

And this…

And these…

And at the gazillion photos and videos of them as little beings (thank God for technology!).

Every night while they sleep, I’ll be scrolling the hundreds and hundreds of photos we’ve taken of them since 2009, watching old videos from the family cloud drive, and planting hundreds and hundreds of kisses on every sleeping child’s cheeks, and breaking down into a childish wreck squealing ‘my baby, my baby, my baby, you’re my baby’. I know, this mother has gone bonkers.

So much so that sometimes the kids tell me to get a hold of myself and pull myself together. ‘What’s wrong, Mum?’ they’d ask. ‘I am not a baby anymore’, they’ll declare in their waking moments.

Goodbye, babies. Hello, big little people.

(Self) Examination Becks Kao Milestones and growing up The Kao Kids

It’s dark.

May 19, 2017

If there’s a Dark Ages to my history of motherhood, this should be it.

It’s now looking like the darkest ever. The toddler and preschooling years were pretty manageable. Exhausting but manageable. There were poopy diapers to change, dirty mouths to clean and lots of bedtime stories to tell but looking back, except the fact that you hit the sack every night bone tired, those years with 3 kids at those milestones were pretty much OK to navigate through.

Now that the kids are older, the challenges that I am facing are mentally and emotionally exhausting. Besides schedules, learning needs, progress follow-ups in between sassy retorts and juvenile arguments, there’s also the middle child and her difficulty to cope with changes and transitions smacking me right in the face.

I wished I could document in detail the pain and heartache and challenges and horrible days I go through managing her but I have decided against that and am learning to emphathise from a child’s perspective – that it can be both embarrassing and difficult, and I should park the details at some recesses of my memory somewhere where it wouldn’t hurt her. Suffice to say, there’s a lot of stuff going on from January till now, from learning needs and anxiety to lack of confidence and disastrous meltdowns. They are all now rolled up into one giant mess ball, coupled with my initial inability to handle her at her point of need (I was harsh, firm, upset, hysterical, critical, judgmental and having my own meltdown with every meltdown she had) and we pretty much have a bad situation right now, bad enough for me to call it the Dark Ages of my gig in motherhood.

I told myself I wouldn’t write.

I would deal. I would learn. I would press on.

And until I have found that little success, that aha-I’ve-overcome! moment, I would not write or rant for fear that it would cause more damage. Because you know, people would tell you ‘It’s ok, you’ll be alright’ and ‘Don’t worry, you’re doing a good job‘, and I know for a fact that IT’S NOT OK and I AM NOT DOING A GOOD JOB.

Because if I truly have any ability to reflect, I really can be better.

I can be better at…

…being consistent – and not swing from extreme to extreme, one moment encouraging and the other moment turning into a monster and screaming at the kid

…empathising – hey look, Mama, she is having a hard time too, and I shouldn’t be the only thinking that I am having it hard

…riding the tantrum /meltdown out – because a tantrum is technically not a tantrum but a “a good, deep work on fear” which can be deep-rooted and needs lots of emotional work.

I’ve been reading a lot and finding comfort in the advice and articles on this website, Hand in Hand Parenting, and taking heart that I am not alone going through this; that probably a thousand has gone before me.

I’ve also learned to ask God boldly for patience, wisdom and peace, every single day, every single moment of having to go through this.

And most of all, I’ve learned that motherhood is about change. Because the person that you’re mothering will never stay the same.

Tis’ true, the saying: that the days are long but the years are short. I so miss those bubbly, happy tods in my brood and wish so much I could baby them over.

But hey, change is needed now, and onward I go – to soldier through the Dark Ages.

One step

Ben Kao Milestones and growing up Reviews

Going the Ortho-K way (Part 2)

May 6, 2017

It’s been two weeks since Ben started putting on his Ortho-k lenses. I shared in Part 1 why we decided to make that his choice of visual aid, and how we got him started by first taking him to Aero-V for a check up and subsequently getting his lenses customised.

So when we were informed that his custom made lenses arrived from the States, we headed down for a one-hour session at Aero-V with Brian to get Ben acquainted with his new visual aid to wear to sleep at night.

Now, for a noob to contact lenses, this may all be extremely overwhelming. Sticking something into your eye, and sticking hard lens (RGP lens, or rigid gas permeable, to be precise) that would make your eye feel uncomfortable for a few days till your eyes get used to it, would certainly be something that any child would feel jittery about.

But Ben’s mom was NO stranger at all to these things, having worn all possible kinds of contact lenses from soft to toric and RGP, and so I guess my familiarity – and that it wasn’t really THAT big a deal or anything to be afraid of – was something that my son could latch on quickly to to find comfort. I guess it helps that I had been a confident contact lens wearer for a good 14 years, and my don’t-worry-you’ll-be-fine attitude helped calm Ben significantly.

But of course, he was still a little apprehensive. Who wouldn’t?

Learning a new habit isn’t always easy. Ben still had to learn to put his Ortho-k on and take them out himself.

 

Getting acquainted with his lens - learning that the most important thing is CLEAN HANDS

Getting acquainted with his lens – learning that the most important thing is CLEAN HANDS

Putting it on -right side first always - with the help of a mirror and looking down, keeping eyes wide open at ALL TIMES

Putting it on -right side first always – with the help of a mirror and looking down, keeping eyes wide open at ALL TIMES

The technique of keeing one's eye wide open is to use the left hand to keep upper eye lid open wide up to the bone of the eye brow, and pulling the lower eye lid down with the right middle finger. Lens to be put on the right index.

The technique of keeing one’s eye wide open is to use the left hand to keep upper eye lid open wide up to the bone of the eye brow, and pulling the lower eye lid down with the right middle finger. Lens to be put on the right index.

DONE!

DONE!

And now the left. Never forget putting a drop of eye drops before wearing it to keep eyes lubricated while asleep

And now the left. Never forget putting a drop of eye drops before wearing it to keep eyes lubricated while asleep

Learning how keep the left eye open to put the left lens in quickly

Learning how keep the left eye open to put the left lens in quickly

After taking them off, and trying on his full degree spectacles for fit and comfort. This pair of spectacles is to stand by for days he wouldn't be able to put on his Ortho-k, like if he falls ill or goes for camps

After taking them off, and trying on his full degree spectacles for fit and comfort. This pair of spectacles is to stand by for days he wouldn’t be able to put on his Ortho-k, like if he falls ill or goes for camps

And of course, for a 8-year-old, it was daunting. Especially taking them out.

To ease his fear of squeezing his eye lids, we opted to use the little suction pump for removal, and vowed to have enough of these little pumps so we would never be found in a situation where can’t take the lens out (true story that happened to me when I wore RGP in my teen years).

The fitting and training session went well, and Ben got a little gift box – which Brian thoughtfully prepared – to bring home. The entire package with Aero-V to make his Ortho-k lense included the following:

Service at its best!

Service at its best!

  1. Ortho-k lens, custom-made
  2. a starter kit for lens cleaning
  3. a bottle of saline
  4. suction pump to remove the lens and Blink eye drops
  5. a mirror with back light
  6. a box and white cloth (more on that later, on the brilliance of simple things)
  7. two pairs of spectacles – one made to Ben’s full degree, and one with his power halved
  8. one year warranty for lens
  9. one year follow-up
  10. 24/7 access to the optometrist by email or whatsapp (how awesome, if we had any questions!)

How brilliant is the idea to do all the saline rinse over the transparent container box, and putting on the lens over a piece of white cloth. Why didn’t I think of that, in the past? Many a lens could have been saved from digging them out of the sink hole and bending on all fours to locate a missing lens with the feel of a finger.

Could.have.been.more.innovative.last.time.

I am happy to report that for two weeks now, the Ortho-k wearing has been a great success. Ben’s mother has been helping him put on and take off his Ortho-k for him religiously every night, and on two occasions where I came home late and he had no confidence to wear them on his own, he only needed to put on his half degree spectacles in the later part of the day.

But if he was on his Ortho-k in the night, he always managed to sleep well with zero discomfort and absolutely no eye-rubbing (he wears an eye mask to sleep) and woke up to perfect vision every morning after the lenses were taken off.

This has been the best thing for him so far, and I know my boy is loving the freedom of not having to wear his spectacles. I know he relishes in this freedom because I watched his grump level increase tremendously when I forced him to wear his half degree spectacles on those two occasions I didn’t manage to help him put his Ortho-k on to sleep.

Just compare this face…

Ben in his half degree

Ben in his half degree

With this contented one…

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Mom’s definitely the more tired one, no thanks to needing to wake up when he wakes, and putting them on for him before he sleeps, and doing all the lens cleaning in between on his behalf. But thankfully, the boy has promised to step up his game next year to try to do this by himself! His freedom to swim, read, play and do sports with perfect vision every day (ever since that dreadful eye test result) without the need for any visual aid makes this mother’s efforts all worth it.

YAY TO NO-SPECKY BOY!

Disclosure: I didn’t get engaged by Aero-V to share this, but I am definitely recommending Brian and his impeccable service and professionalism if you’re seeking for an Ortho-K expert to advice you. All opinions here are my own.

Ben Kao Milestones and growing up Reviews

Going the Ortho-K way (Part I)

April 5, 2017

So I last posted in January that I was super bummed that myopia and astigmatism had finally hit my firstborn (ugh, sneaky thing), which started me on my quest to gather research about childhood myopia and how to control it.

There’s tons of literature out there about myopia being acquired and/or inherited and most research shows that it’s a combination of both genes and environmental factors that lead to bad eyesight. And if genes has a part to blame, then I am indeed worried. Because growing up, I had severe myopia and astigmatism. The type that inconveniences your life. Like not being able to even see your toes when you shower. And the last thing I want to witness in my kid is him going through the anguish I did: my myopia and astigmatism rose rapidly every half a year starting from age 7 and there was nothing I could do to stop it from deteriorating. And with every passing year, I would be in spectacles half an inch thicker than before, and this was the narrative of my sad story of the long drawn battle against myopia from age 7 all the way to age 23.

Which sucked. Big time.

Anyway. With this excruciatingly crappy experience with poor eyesight (until the beautiful five-letter word made my world), I was determined NOT to let it hinder the joys of growing up for Ben. Imagine being knock out of your glasses in a ball game, losing your spectacles when your canoe overturns, and having someone step on your glasses, breaking it so bad you got to tape your specs and wear them to school to the amusement of all your classmates, AND the worst of all, being chosen as a flower girl and having to put on those horrible looking speckys and having the photographs of you looking like NERD stick in your head for forever – those were terrible growing up years having to live and depend on spectacles.

Which then led me to my research on Ortho-K.

Which also made me scream at my mom (I am, unfortunately, 29 years late) when I found out that this could have and would have been my way to seeing better as a child.

Mom, if you had taken a stab with this then, I would really have been much better off and not be as blind as a bat. Even my dreams were blurry growing up. Just sayin’.

Orthokeratology, or Ortho-k, is the fitting of specially designed gas permeable contact lenses that one wears to sleep overnight. While you are asleep, the lenses gently reshape the front surface of your eye (cornea) so you can see clearly the following day after you remove the lenses when you wake up.

This article calls it ‘braces for the eyes‘.

I wasn’t sure if it was an option for Ben who loves to rub his eyes and if it would be a huge hassle at waking time for a child who gets ready for the school bus with his eyes closed all in 5 minutes. Until I spoke with three of my cousins who were on it for close to 20 years now, and found out how it has liberated them, made life convenient for them and kept their myopia under control all these years. Nothing deteriorated since the day they put on their first pair of Ortho-K lenses to sleep, and in fact they could now (as young adults) go for 4-5 days without it before power came back.

Sounds like something I want Ben to go through.

I was recommended to both Issacs-Optom (one of the pioneers in Ortho-K, here in Singapore – this is also where my cousins go) and AeroV, the latter being highly recommended by Mumseword whose kid is also on Ortho-K lenses. I was assured that Brian from AeroV would really make sure everything – from custom fitting to checking and following up – would be done smoothly, and so we’ve been there for two appointments already.

 

Eye examination to assess for clarity of sight

Eye examination to assess for clarity of sight

Getting his power determined

Getting his power determined

His eye was a little swollen due to rubbing, so we had to go back again. That's the reason why we had two checks.

His eye was a little swollen due to rubbing that day, so we had to go back again. That’s the reason why we had two checks.

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Measuring his cornea

Checking the health of his cornea

Checking the health of his cornea

Ben’s Ortho-K lenses has been ordered last night, and it was like a stone off my chest.

I can breathe now, because the checks have been done twice and custom fitting for the lenses was checked and double checked, and all that’s left to do is to introduce a new sleep time and wake time routine when the lenses arrive and he is pretty much set to get his myopia corrected AND controlled at the same time.

Of course, the hole in the pocket is bigger than if he were just to make glasses but we’re certain that this is really what we want for him: a spectacle-free childhood, and the freedom to see without hassle.