It’s been a crazy week.

I returned to work after being away for about four months. And it felt like I had amnesia for a while. I couldn’t remember my passwords. I forgot names of colleagues. I felt a great sense of disconnect with what I was supposed to do.

All these months of feeding and burping the baby, of blogging and reading mom blogs, of being comfortably at home have left me feeling like I don’t belong to this profession and place where I work.

I miss Nat. I miss his crying. I miss his laughing. I miss cuddling him.

I miss bossing my helper around and planning the dinner menu with a little bit more thought and love. I miss rolling up my sleeves to prepare breakfast for my children.

I miss being able to read and read, and then read some more. I miss checking my fb account every other minute. Every day, this week, I collapse in exhaustion after tucking my kids in bed. I don’t even have the strength to walk to the study and kiss my husband goodnight.

Work. With kids. This is what it has done to me. I feel exhausted and overwhelmed.

This would be very nice, tyvm.