Close encounters with the maid kind Family life as we know it The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother


October 16, 2013

While most of my friends were busy candy crushing and completing their heist missions in GTA V, I was busy accomplishing the missions in MITKH* v.1 the last 5 days.

* MITKH : Maidless in the Kao Household

There were many levels to complete in MITKH v.1 and all of them came with challenges which had to be completed mostly in single player mode. Like any RPG, the player has to take responsibility for acting out roles within a narrative through a process of structured decision-making and character development.

Here are some of the challenges I completed in MITKH v.1 in ascending order according to the level of difficulty:

  • Challenge Take Care of Daily Needs of Three Children ON YOUR OWN

Level of difficulty 1.5/5

In this challenge, you double up as mom and maid. With one pair of eyes, hands and legs, you feed, bathe, dress and tuck in three kids aged 4, 3 and 20 months simultaneously. With practise, the children learn to wait their turn and you get better and faster such that you don’t get too flustered by the tasks any more. Sometimes, unexpected things happen, such as one of the kids falls and hurts himself, spills food on the floor, poops at meal times and throws a tantrum.

Cheat trick: Take deep breaths, ignore if you can so you can focus on mission, ensure that the older ones follow instructions to the letter. Enlist the help of Mr Cane if you have to to ensure order and discipline so mission gets accomplished with minimal yelling and nagging.

* Bonus points if you accomplish tasks with minimal yelling and nagging.

  • Challenge Mind the House that has NO Window Grilles with Three Kids

Level of difficulty 2/5

In this challenge, you face bored kids with mischief up their sleeves and no grilles in your confines. The kids unexpectedly throw ball, shoot Nerf guns, jump up and down sofa, tables, waist-level shelves and beds.

Cheat trick: Locate books and scatter them everywhere in the hope that kids will see them and start reading. Shut windows if needed. Enlist the help of Mr Cane if you have to to ensure order and discipline so mission gets accomplished with minimal yelling and nagging.

* Bonus points if you’re able to get grilles installed in time.

  • Challenge Bathe, Poop and Pee with Nobody Watching Three Kids

Level of difficulty 2.5/5

In this challenge, you need to do the above real quick. Unfortunately, all kids are awake and needing your attention. You do not have the option of skipping this challenge as you smell like a stink bomb.

Cheat trick: Usher kids into the master bedroom. Shut windows and doors. Turn on the air conditioning. Get them to sit in a circle. Tell the kids that you are going to play a game and you will emerge in a few minutes looking all gorgeous and get them to imagine what a sight it will be. Ask them to close their eyes and guess what colour of clothes you’ll be putting on / what t-shirt you would wear / whether you would appear wearing a skirt or a pair of shorts. Throw as many questions to them as possible and run into toilet to accomplish mission.

* Bonus points if kids don’t start banging on your door after one minute.

  • Challenge Do Laundry: Fold, Wash, Hang with Baby Holding on to Your Legs

Level of difficulty: 3/5

In this challenge, the laundry bags are filling up faster that you can say ‘laundry bags’. There are clothes on the bamboo poles which require keeping, dirty laundry not washed and baskets of laundry unfolded. Plus there’s a baby perpetually grabbing your legs everywhere you go.

Cheat trick: Ask older kids to help you and be specific – pair up the socks, fold your own underwear, bring these to the washing machine, give me 5 pegs for this pole – and remember to ask nicely. Make it sound like it’s the most important job they could do in the whole world.

Helping to keep clothes

Little trooper following instructions to hold clean and folded laundry this way and to keep them in the cupboard

* Bonus points if kids don’t walk out of their job halfway and decide to do something else and if you do not abort tasks in this challenge with baby grabbing legs.

  • Challenge Prepare Fried Rice for Lunch with Baby Holding on to Your Legs

Level of Difficulty 3.5/5

In this challenge, you’re alone and kids are starving. It’s too far, too hot, too troublesome (plus too embarrassing since you smell like a stink bomb and haven’t brushed your teeth) to walk out to buy lunch. You need to cook something quick with what you have in the fridge.

Cheat trick: Mince garlic with food processor. Mince frozen prawns with food processor. Ensure there’s eggs and leftover rice in the fridge. Give baby empty containers with caps that he can screw and unscrew to keep him occupied while you prep and cook.

* Bonus points if kids don’t faint from hunger and you’re able to wash all plates, bowls and wok, and clean kitchen up before dinner.

  • Challenge Clean House Thoroughly

Level of difficulty 4/5

In this challenge, there’s hair everywhere (yours). Plus dust, dirt, grime, food bits and booger. Every step you take makes your feet feel icky and the baby is starting to pick food bits up to ingest. Some cleaning is in order.

Cheat trick: Use lots of Magic Kleen cleaner and wiper sheets. Better still, enlist the help of older children if they are willing. Close both eyes if you need and imagine the mess and dirt is not there. Ask children and husband to do the same.

Helping to mop

Little trooper helping to mop the house

* Bonus points if you can vacuum and mop (not just use Magic Kleen!) with all kids sitting still on the sofa and not come down from it at all.

  • Challenge Prep Lesson Materials for Two Older Kids AND (actually) Teach Them Something While Baby is Awake

Level of Difficulty 5/5

In this challenge, you have to continue your home teaching endeavours and follow through with lesson planning and delivery. Kids need to trace their letters, read their readers (both English and Chinese), practise their addition and sequencing, draw, do craft, go on field trips and listen to stories.

Cheat trick: Not known.

* Bonus points if you can do all the above and not lose your cool at any point in time.

I didn’t manage to start on the last challenge. It was all too difficult and exhausting by the time I reached that. I’m hoping I never need to clear that level nor play another version. EVER. AGAIN.

Just for the record, I don’t like this game. At all. Cos’ IT WAS FOR REAL! (Sorry, need to vent.) It gave a whole new meaning to the words “bone tired” of which I am experiencing right now.

P/S: The reason for MITKH v.1 was because the helper requested for home leave to visit her gravely ill mother. Initially she asked for two weeks. I said no. She asked for one week, and I said no again. 5 days is my limit. We had a deal, and I am glad she honoured her word and returned.

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  • Reply karina October 16, 2013 at 11:56 PM

    Glad to read that ur maid kept her promise and returned-miracle, some many eg. Of missing maid aft home leave… Amazing ordeal…Great mommy, deserving a gd break..or else she will quit the mommy job…Great patients..

    • Reply MotherKao October 17, 2013 at 9:31 AM

      Awww, thanks, Karina!

  • Reply Adora @ Gingerbreadmum October 16, 2013 at 11:53 PM

    Phew!!!!! I think you need a massage too. And hey! I’ve got one to give away, you know 😀

    I couldn’t help but notice: Wake up at 9am?! Gosh!! Wow!!!

    • Reply MotherKao October 17, 2013 at 9:32 AM

      Adora, I’m not a Blue Moon Valley Member leh.

      9am too early or too late? Hahaha.

      • Reply Adora @ Gingerbreadmum October 28, 2013 at 10:35 PM

        9am late! My kids are up at 7! Pengsan. Mummy is not a morning person.
        Eh membership is free for my readers la! Giveaway is over but offer for free membership is still valid

  • Reply Adeline October 16, 2013 at 5:24 PM

    This does not sound like a fun game at all, and I’m amazed that you survived 5 whole days without your helper! I think you deserve a child-free weekend or something like that. Maybe a spa. Massage. Private toilet time. Whatever you can get FatherKao to give you! 😉

    • Reply MotherKao October 17, 2013 at 9:33 AM

      Yea, Ade – NOT FUN at all! I think give me private toilet time I will be very happy! Haha!

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