There’s been so many times I’ve been tempted to write FML rants. Way too many times. Like when I have mommy guilt. Or when my daughter yanks my hair repeatedly when I’m already dropping so much hair post-partum. Or when the kids decide to throw tantrums / dump clothes in the toilet bowl / scatter gravel from the aquarium on every alternate tile in the living room / take a bunch of straws, forks, knives and spoons to play pick-up sticks / all of the above.

But often, I’ve decided that I shouldn’t and wouldn’t, simply because at the end of the day, they are still my darling angels and life’s good because I know I can love them forever; and all these FML moments are but fleeting and inconsequential in the grander scheme of things.

So no FML posts. Until now.

My friend, Yann (yannisms.com) recently shared that pregnancy and breastfeeding is the cure for many common woes that plague women. While that’s the fun part of having kids, I’m here to say that life’s not exactly a blast post-partum, especially if you’ve returned to work. Besides the constant rocky boobs at work, there’s the excessive hairloss and balding, the flabby tums that just wouldn’t go away and the super dark eye rings that will put any panda to shame. Add to that extreme fatigue. And lethargy. And three kids needing you every minute you’re home and I’m pretty sure you’ll be blasting the next person who comes to you to ask how you’re holding up.

My body is feeling some effects of extreme exhaustion three kids and five months post-partum. When my post-natal masseuse did a sports massage house call a month ago to help with fatherkao’s sport injury, she brought this diagnostic weighing machine that could predict a person’s age based on the amount of fats you had in your body. That stupid damn thing announced on its LCD display that I was four years older than my actual age, based on my fat and water composition, heart rate and BMI. Last week, when I went to see the TCM massage therapist whom I used to visit three years ago, she asked if I had just given birth after five seconds of kneading my back. She said that there was too much “dampness” in my body and likened it to an old woman’s! And yesterday, I woke up with a migraine, a sore right eye and sudden blurred vision. It was such a frightening ordeal; I’d thought I was gonna lose sight in that eye. I quickly made an appointment with my eye doctor and was even more terrified to hear him tell me that he’s glad I came immediately because my eye pressure has shot up way too high the acceptable level and I need to be on steriods to bring the pressure down. He was also puzzled that the pressure in my left was 11 while the one on my right was 31 (normal level is 21 and below)! And like every doctor who couldn’t provide a medical reason why it happened, it was quickly attributed to stress and exhaustion (and possibly inflammation).

So he gave me some eye medication and ordered for a review tomorrow. And when I saw the medicine, I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry:

So yea, this is my first FML post.

*Update: After a series of tests and investigation, the doctor said that I’m having acute glaucoma, something called Possner-Schlossman Syndrome. Sounds serious, but he assured me the migraine and vision would improve when the eye pressure comes down.