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Milestones and growing up Nat Kao The darndest kid quotes and antics The Kao Kids

Can’t carry on

November 9, 2012

Does your kid have a favourite phrase he’d say to you regardless of time and place? My two older kids’ fave is “Mama, carry me”.

Of course, depending on the time and place, my replies are usually as follows:

“How am I supposed to? I’m carrying your baby brother.”

“Why don’t you walk, my dear?”

“Shall we hold hands instead?”

“You’re getting quite heavy, my love!”

“I’m really tired today and would like to rest my arms / back / legs.”

“Darling, let’s hug first. And then you can sit next to me.”

Of course, fatherkao often reminds me that we won’t be getting these requests soon enough and that we should savour every moment. I totally agree. In fact, I’d always say to myself ‘to heck with the backache and fatigue’ and try as much as I can to smother these babies, all three of them, with loads of hugs and kisses, and indulge them in a great deal of carrying. In fact, I baby the baby so much I now have a problem: he wants to be carried all the time.

At nine months, he is unable to travel in the car on the car seat. For nine months, I can never drive without witnessing moments like these:

Pardon the picture quality – snapped this shot at a dark basement carpark yesterday

At nine months, just like his older siblings, he’s learned to say their favourite phrase his way, “Mama, carry me”!

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Becks Kao Ben Kao Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

Say “aah” and let me feed you

October 11, 2012

My kids are now in the phase of wanting to shove food into your mouth. They like to feed you with whatever they’re eating, and with whatever you’re eating.

So just the other day at the dinner table, Becks was her usual fussy self. She didn’t want to finish her rice. She gagged looking at her veggies. She refused to clean up her chicken wings. All she wanted to do was to give me her unfinished food.

Me: No thank you, my dear. I want to eat my own food, and I want to feed myself.

She then looked at her father with those big round eyes, and asked, “Dada, I feed you your dinner, ok?”

Fatherkao: Ok, princess. You can feed me but I want to eat from my plate, not yours.

Just like that, she got away with not finishing her food. She started scooping rice and soup for her father and made him say “aah” everytime she was ready with a helping.

My eldest saw them having so much fun and asked if he could feed me my dinner. Being ravenously hungry, I declined his offer and told him to finish what’s on his plate. He proceeded to sulk for the longest time and tried to convince me to let him feed me, like how his sister was feeding fatherkao.

Me: No. My answer is no. You finish your food and stop copying your sister.

Ben: (starting to sob) But I want to feed you…

Fatherkao: Just let him do it. The next time he does it, you’ll be eighty years old, dear.

And just like that, he got away with not finishing his food. And I had the longest dinner of my life. I sat at the table and watched him scoop my dinner, bit by bit, shoving in mouthful by mouthful. That night, I realised that it ain’t such a big deal that they can’t finish whatever’s on their plate; but it is a big deal if I missed out this wave of TLC and have to wait fifty years for the next one.

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Becks Kao Ben Kao Learning fun! Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

Animal madness!

October 9, 2012

It’s been noisy in the house lately. The Kaos are officially living in an animal farm.

He led the others with his “quack quack quack”.

She’s the little monkey jumping on the bed.

One little monkey jumping on the bed.
She fell off and bumped her head.
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
“No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

Six little ducks that I once knew

Fast ones, skinny ones, fair ones too.

But the one little duck with the feather on his back

He led the others with his quack, quack, quack.

Quack, quack, quack-quack, quack, quack

He led the others with his quack, quack, quack.

Down to the river they would go.

Wibble wobble, wibble wobble to and fro.

But the one little duck with the feather on his back

He led the others with a quack, quack, quack.

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Ben Kao The darndest kid quotes and antics

Rock-a-bye-baby’s desperate mommy

September 17, 2012

My three-year-old and I have been conversing every night lately. While I nurse my six-month-old infant, Ben would snuggle close to me and start a conversation. He asks me questions about what it’s like to be on a plane, why people fight wars and how flowers grow. I’m always amazed at how much he knows and even more amazed by how much he wants to know. That hunger for knowledge to satisfy all the “whys” in his head is truly impressive.

So just a few nights ago, he asked me to sing him a lullaby. He specifically requested for Rock-a-bye-baby. I didn’t think much of the request, so I started to sing. To my surprise, he stopped me after every line to ask me what each line meant. What do you mean by on the treetop, Mama? Why would the wind blow? Why would the bough break? Why would the baby come down with the cradle?

He practically analysed the whole song like I would in prac crit for my Lit papers. He didn’t do it with academic intentions (no, he’s only three!) but for the one sole purpose of asking me this question:

“Where is the baby’s mama, Mama? Why would she leave the baby there? AND to let him fall?” My three-year-old is traumatised by rock-a-bye-baby’s irresponsible mother.

For the purpose of this post, I googled the history of the song and found out why mommies would leave their babies on the treetop. Native American women rocked their babies in birch bark cradles, which were suspended from the higher branches of a tree, allowing the wind to shake the infant to sleep. [Source & picture from nursery-rhymes.org]

Gonna have to tell Ben that the babies probably gave their mommies hell for not sleeping, which explains why these mommies would be desperate enough to put them on the branch of a tree!

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Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics Thunderstorm days

Terrific Terrible Two

July 25, 2012

These days I’ve been struggling to keep afloat.

While I would like to keep some things that are going on in my life private, I can, however, share how terrible it has been with Becks in her Terrible Two phase. Apart from being grumpy and sullen and constantly challenging authority, my little girl has been smacking her brother, biting him and pulling his hair. She bosses him around and bullies him silly. Even Mr Cane and time-out have no effect on her. On good days, she’d say sorry eventually, but on bad ones, she wouldn’t give a heck whether she was disciplined. Suffice to say, her stubborn streak is certainly driving me up the wall.

I’ll be very honest. On some days, even loving her has been tough. I do love her. And very much for that matter. But when she acts up, it’s just very hard. I’ve lost my patience with her so many times. Her hissy fits and tantrums drain every ounce of energy in me.

I need to keep in mind that she’ll be reading this someday and that this phase shall eventually pass. I sure hope it will be ok soon so that I can stop feeling drained and totally bummed out.

My dear baby girl, you’re turning two in five days. I’m sure we’ll get through this together. It’ll also be Terrific Two, yes?

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The darndest kid quotes and antics

Once a kid, always a kid

July 20, 2012

Last night, I had a very deep conversation with my three-year-old. It went something like this:

Ben: Mama, do ah ma and gonggong (referring to his maternal grandparents) have children ?

Me: Yes, dear. Me, yeeyee and jiu jiu (referring to my siblings) are their children.

Ben: (with some frustration) No, they have children or not?

Me: Yes. That’s us – me, the firstborn, followed by yeeyee, who’s the second, and jiu jiu, who’s the baby of the family.

Ben: You, yeeyee and jiu jiu are babies?

Me: No, we are adults.

Ben: Then you’re also children?

Me: We’re not little children, like how you understand “children”; but yea, we’re ah ma‘s kids.

Ben: You’re kids? Or adults?

By then, I realised where this was heading. Ben was confused by the fact that we were adults but also children of our parents. He couldn’t grasp that. To him, babies were babies, children were children, and adults were adults.

How do you explain to a child that no matter how old you are, you’ll always be someone’s kid?

So I said:

Me: Son, children can mean little children, and also the fact that you’re someone’s son or daughter. Like you’re my son. You’ll always be my son. You’ll always be my child. No matter how old you are.

~~~

I hugged him real tight and smooched him silly last night. This will be one conversation I will remember for the rest of my life. Largely because the understanding that when you have a kid, you have a kid for life, took on a deeper meaning. I know that even when Ben turns fifty, he will always occupy that place in my heart, as my child.

Ben, if you’re reading this at twenty, you’re still very much Mama’s baby, k?

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Becks Kao Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics

Being two

June 23, 2012

My daughter has officially entered the Terrible Two one month shy of her second birthday, and not a day goes by without fighting epic battles of wills with her. She’s learning to assert her independence and testing the boundaries so much so that bathing / feeding / changing / sleeping has become struggles between me and her on a daily basis. She would choose what to wear and the colour of spoon to eat with. And if she decides to sit on her diaper-filled poop today, she is so going to. She would not have you shampoo her hair if she doesn’t feel like getting it wet, and trust me, she will.give.you.hell if you so decide to get her out of bed to go out. She will lie in bed for as long as she wants, and any attempt to pry her away from her bolster and carrying her from the bed will result in a fit so hissy you’d rather go find a hole and bury yourself. When she has her tantrums, she can wail non-stop for more than half an hour and no amount of talking sense and cajoling can make her stop. I have videos to prove that she can cry and scream at the top of her lungs for that long.

And to make matters worse, she has night terrors. They started when she was about 14 months old. She has been sitting up and crying inconsolably at regular intervals nightly for a while now, usually about three to four times between 11pm and 5am. And the past week has been hell. She yelled the house down while in her semi-conscious state at least five times in the night. She had a viral fever the week before and I’m pretty sure it could have been the reason for the excessive partial night wakings.

So I have no respite, day and night.

This is Becks after three tantrums today. She refused to wear the pretty jumper I prepared for her and when I attempted to put it on, she kicked and fussed and shrieked. That was the first. When I finally decided that I was not willing to die on this hill in this battle and allowed her to choose what she wanted to wear, she chose her brother’s t-shirt. I said no, and wailing started all over again. That was the second. When she finally stopped, there were mucous and tears all over her face. I cleaned her up and made her drink some water. She refused to drink, and that started her third outburst. She was promptly sent to the naughty corner. When she finally calmed down, I allowed her to choose what she wanted to wear, with the exception of her brother’s clothes.

She wanted to be pink from head to toe.

I almost fainted.

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The darndest kid quotes and antics

Big Sister Becks

June 3, 2012

Overheard today between Ben and Becks…

(rumbling of thunder in the distance)

Ben: Mama, I’m scared. I don’t want to hear the thunder.

Becks: Don’t worry, darling. I’m here.

Overheard today between Baby Nat and Becks…

Nat: Bawaaaaaaaaaah!

Becks: Ohlalala, Nat Nat, don’t cry. I’ll carry you…

And she isn’t even two.

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Ben Kao Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics The Kao Kids

Nice Ugly Dog

May 18, 2012

Ben’s been staying home with me more days than he’s been to school this week. He’s been down with a bout of stomach flu. Feeling chirpier today, we decided to head downstairs for a stroll and get some lunch.

It was mid-day and the estate was relatively quiet. An elderly man was walking his dog (a Maltese, methinks). The dog was sniffing grass, minding its own business.

Then my son broke the silence.

“Mama, see! An UGLY dog!”

The elderly uncle gave me a look and I returned it with a contorted embarrassed smile. When we shuttled past, I told Ben it was not nice to call a dog ugly. Though truth be told, it was. It was shaven bald and its skin was so raw there were patches of pink and brown and all sorts of blotches – the dog did look horribly ugly.

Me: It’s not nice to yell “ugly dog”, dear.

Ben: Why?

Me: The uncle might feel hurt that you called his dog ugly.

Ben: Why? The dog IS ugly what.

Me: Maybe he thinks its the most beautiful dog in the world and you just hurt his feelings. (This, I know, was complete bull.)

He stated his point of view and I did mine, and that was it. I was honestly tickled by my kid who says the darndest things. At the darndest moment. Oh well, it’s just a dog. I was glad he didn’t march up to someone and declare that he/ she was fat / ugly / gross.

When we returned from getting lunch, we walked past the dog and the man again. This time, Ben yelled:

“Mama, see! A NICE dog!”

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Ben Kao Milestones and growing up The darndest kid quotes and antics The Kao Kids What to Expect... As a Mother

Of ‘Whys’ and ‘Buts’

May 3, 2012

When Ben turned two, he started asking why. His whys came fast and furious and it seemed like he wouldn’t really settle for any shoddy answers. We tried our best to encourage that inquisitiveness and not kill his curiosity. I sometimes lost my patience because I felt he asked for the sake of asking (most of the time). Still, I tried my darn best to answer his whys with a smile.

Me: Get ready to go to school!
Ben: Why?
Me: Because when you go to school, you’ll learn new stuff, play with friends and have lots of fun.
Ben: Why? I don’t want to go to school…
Me: I need to work…
Ben: Why?
Me: And there’s no one to take care of you.
Ben: Why do you need to work?

Version 1.0

Me: Because I need to earn money, and with money, we can put food on the table, clothes on your body and toy cars in your pocket.

Ben: Why? I can have more toys now? You have money?

~~~

Fatherkao overheard this exchange once and said this shouldn’t be the values we impart, so the next time he asked (we have this conversation on a daily basis, even now that he is three), I answered with v1.1.

Me: Get ready to go to school!

Ben: Why?

Me: You go to school and learn new stuff, play with friends and have lots of fun.
Ben: Why? I don’t want to go to school.
Me: I need to work and there’s no one to take care of you.
Ben: Why do you need to work?

Enter Version 1.1

Me: Because work is meaningful and our lives would be more fulfilling, and this is how God made us, to find work that is meaningful and be satisfied. At work, we can be the best we can be and use our God-given gifts and talents and…

Ben: (putting on his uniform) Can I bring a toy to school?

~~~

So besides imparting the value of work, explaining why the moon comes out at night and the sun in the morning, why all children need naps, why he needs to eat his food, how sweets destroy his teeth, I’ve pretty much covered all categories of questions he’s ever asked. Lately, he’s stopped asking why (I’m quite glad I get a little breather now that he’s out of the why phase). He’s now using the conjunction, ‘but’, and it’s annoying the hell out of me.

Me: Get ready to go to school!
Ben: But I don’t want…
Me: You need to go to school and learn new stuff, play with friends and have lots of fun.
Ben: But school is not fun.
Me: You mean to say you don’t have fun in school? You said you enjoyed music class and playing with Ryan yesterday.
Ben: But I don’t like my friends. They are not nice.
Me: What do you mean they aren’t nice?
Ben: But they bully me.
Me: Did you tell your teachers?
Ben: Yes, I did. But yesterday you said I don’t need to go to school.
Me: I say that on Saturdays and Sundays.
Ben: But today is Saturday.
Me: No, it’s not. Now get ready for school.
Ben: But I don’t want… (the cycle repeats itself)
Me: (exasperated, and thinking if I should use the ‘I’m your mother, so just listen’ option) Here we go again…

~~~

I’m waiting for the other coordinating conjunctions to appear in our conversations, like so, yet, and nor. I can so imagine what this boy would say:

I’m very tired, Mama, so I am going back to bed…

I don’t want to go, yet I have to…

I don’t want to wake up, nor do I want to go to school…

Kids, they sure learn grammar fast!

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