My kids are well trained in Stranger Education. They are wary by nature, so it’s not difficult at all to teach them the basics. Never talk to strangers. Say hi only when Mom and Dad tell you to. Familiar faces around our estate are ok – you can wave or smile or say hi, but never tell them where you live or open the door to let them in. Never accept chocolates and candies from people you don’t know. Never follow anyone who tells you that he knows your mother or father. If anyone tries to take you by force, scream as loud as you can.
The kids still get waved at and Nat gets stroked and touched by random strangers a lot, especially when we are on board the bus on our way to and from school. I usually tell them to be polite and smile because it would make their day, especially the old folks that try to befriend them. But they usually go, Huh why… they are strangers what.
Today, on the way to school, an old man who was sitting opposite us on a single decker bus couldn’t stop waving at Becks. He was unkempt and had the most eerie toothless grin. Becks was, of course, beyond horrified and refused to look at him. I didn’t insist she smile or wave. I made her and Ben put on their sunglasses and look out of the window.
Very unfriendly mother here, I know.
When we were preparing to alight, the man was still waving. He kept smiling and his toothless grin was now beyond eerie. It was annoying. We got down the bus, and boy, was I glad for sunglasses.
When we reached kindy, Ben exclaimed that he had lost his toy cow. He’s been taking one animal from his stash of animal toys to school every day to show his Chinese teacher because he’s learning about animals this term. I know it is a bad idea – to allow a four-year-old to be always bringing something to school – but I couldn’t deny him of that enthusiasm he suddenly found in learning Chinese. So I let him bring one out, provided he held on to it and not lose it.
We searched for the cow in his bag and couldn’t find it. He must have left it on the bus! I proceeded with a lecture on taking care of things and expressed my anger at his irresponsibility. So off to school he went, and in a huff I left, only to meet the same toothless, eerily-grinning old uncle as I crossed the road. He smiled at me and this time, he waved and spoke. He said he found the toy which we left behind and passed it to someone in the church. He asked me to hurry back to get it. I thanked him and asked if he had specially alighted and walked all the way back just to return Ben’s toy. He smiled and said in Mandarin, “It’s ok, I can wait for another bus.”
I ran back with the baby. There was no one in sight back at the kindy. I searched for the cleaners who usually sat at the pews facing the road – nope, no one around. Then from a distance, I saw Ben’s toy cow standing on a table, in the middle of nowhere. There it was, thanks to the kindness of a stranger.
When I left the kindy the second time, I walked past the uncle again who was still waiting for a bus. He had alighted, walked a bus stop back just to return a masak masak that belonged to a child he didn’t know (who has a mother that judged his appearance and sister who didn’t wave back). I apologised for his inconvenience and thanked him again. He said he found the toy after we alighted and thought my child would definitely want it back. And so he did what he did.
And I did what I had to do. I made Nat call him ‘Uncle’ and had the baby hi-five him to make his day. I hope it made his, because the kindness in his strangeness certainly made mine.
